Saturday Night Open Thread: My Top Five…. Pieces of Advice

Tonight’s post category comes from our generous Italian friend, 2Pack. He suggested this category in last week’s thread and I think it’s a very good one. I have been very lucky to have been given some very good advice that has carried me through difficult patches in my life and helped me to succeed. I think it’s a great idea to share this to hopefully help someone else. Tonight I’m discussing my favourite pieces of advice that I’ve been given.

As I mentioned in the first post, the plan is for this to be an ongoing off-season series on Saturday nights in which I present to you my five favourite somethings and then you comment and tell me:

• How I’m wrong
• Your Top Five
• Suggestions for the next top five list

Without further ado, I present to you my Top Five Pieces of Advice!

1 – Time and Place

It’s not really college although that is a good time to experience a lot of what life has to offer.

This one, like most of the ones on this list, was told to me by my Mom. The essential part of the message is that one shouldn’t be in a hurry to do something or get frustrated when something doesn’t work out.

This applies to relationships, to goals, and to almost everything you can think of.

You can meet the right person at the wrong time in your life and a relationship won’t work out. You can also meet a person that long term is not good for you but is perfect for that particular time in your life (read flings or anal one-night stands).

When you’re young, you can’t wait to get into clubs. When you’re old, the clubs are annoying and you don’t want to go to one. There is a Time and Place for everything.

Pros:

It applies to pretty much everything in life.

It teaches you patience and makes you understand the big picture.

Cons:

Until you experience some things, see this in motion, and understand what this is trying to say, it won’t sink in.

2 – Nadie Te Puede Quitar Lo Bailado

In Spanish, that literally means that no one can take away what you’ve danced. Essentially, it means that you need to have fun while you’re on this earth. Yes, work is important and yes money is important, but the reason we do it is so we can have fun in our lives.

It also alludes to the fact that life is not all fun. There are always plenty of hard times. Good times can be “taken away”. That’s why you must accumulate good times in your memory bank so that you can persevere through the bad times and get yourself to good times again.

This is one that motivates me when things get tough and it keeps my perspective in the right place both in good times and bad. When you are having good times, you need to enjoy them to the fullest.

Pros:

It helps you get the most out of life.

It works all the time.

Cons:

People may not understand it if they don’t understand the concept of fully focusing on the moment at hand.

3 – There’s Always A Silver Lining

That’s the easiest way to say it, although the silver lining thing doesn’t really make sense to me. The way it was taught to me by my Mom is that there is always something good that can come out of something bad.

I love this one because I have found that it works great for personal stuff but it also works perfectly for career advancement and investment.

You need to develop an attitude that there are opportunities everywhere. You just need to find them. The best place to find them is in places where others (in effect, most people) are finding problems.

If you develop a problem-solving mindset, you will see setbacks as possibilities for growth, mistakes as learning opportunities, and bad luck as non-existent.

Pros:

This one has made me a lot of money.

Can also apply to personal life stuff.

Cons:

Some people prefer to feel sorry for themselves and won’t adopt this mindset.

4 – You Only Regret What You Didn’t Do

I’m sure you have heard the question that is asked about what people in their deathbeds would regret the most about their lives. Would criminals regret their crimes? Would cheaters regret their extra-marital affairs?

My perspective on that is that the only thing you should really regret is not doing something you wanted to do. As I look back on my life so far, the things I regret are all things I didn’t do.

I didn’t buy that Brazilian hammock in Rio. I didn’t do a semester abroad while in college. However, I did ask out that hot Australian blonde and went on an epic date with her. I did stick my finger in my girlfriend’s ass that one time which led to us discovering new ways to have fun.

Don’t be afraid.

Explore. Try new things. If you fail, you fail, but at least you tried. The worst part is not even trying and wondering “what if”.

Do it.

Pros:

I cannot stress enough how important this is.

Cons:

Too many people these days are afraid to do anything.

5 – You can’t make someone else happy until you can make yourself happy.

This one is not just about masturbation. As one of my friends likes to say, you should give yourself a present every day.

Naturally, the joke turns to masturbation. However, the real key to this piece of advice has to do with how to make yourself happy and understanding how that enables you to make others happy. I have seen too many relationships ruined because people are in relationships when they themselves are miserable and are incapable of generating happiness.

I think nobody should try to make others happy until he or she knows how to make themselves happy. I like to call this the Airplane Mask Theorem. On every flight, the flight attendants and the video tell you that you must put your mask on first before helping others with their masks.

Same thing.

Figure yourself out. Find out what you like and what you don’t like. Set limits and boundaries that ensure your happiness and stick with them.

Then and only then can you be of any use to anyone else.

Pros:

Once you figure this out, you are set for life.

Cons:

It requires people to look deep inside themselves, to be honest with themselves, and to make tough choices. Not everyone can do that.

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What say you in the comments?