Pole Assassin Monkey Attack! Tuesday Open Thread

"Ladidahdahdah, just a normal Tuesday. Maybe I'll check in on DoorFliesOpen..." BOOM! STEALTH CRIMEBEAT! Oh bitches, you didn't realize what you were walking into, didja? Don't worry. It'll all be over soon. Just lie back and think of England. *Well, the lead story as of this morning involved a stripper, her monkey, Halloween and

Tuesday Night Open Thread and 2021 GLORIOUS BUFFALO BILLS Bye Week Update

So, apparently they played football last weekend? The Big Bye (wherein nearly 20% of the league was idle) hit especially hard this year, because it included the guaranteed AFC Champion Buffalo Bills. Did I go there? Yes I did, you craven weirdos. GUARANTEED. AFC. CHAMPIONS. That noise you hear from Orchard Park?

Tuesday Night Open Thread and 2021 San Francisco 49ers Bye Week Update

So I missed the traditional Bye Week Update window for the Santa Clara 49ers (2-3, third in the NFC West by virtue of not having played) largely because I didn't realize until Sunday night that they were on a bye. And that is somewhat telling about the team so far: mediocre,

Drugs are Good, Mr. MacElroy! Drugs are Our Mates! Tuesday Open Thread

Whelp, for those of us on Uncle Sam's payroll, prepare your anus for another Republican Shutdownapalooza.  Yes, in the increasingly likely event that the GOP refuses to agree to a continuing resolution to keep government "discretionary" funding flowing, we're shutting back down at the stroke of Midnight Thursday evening, and

Monkey-Fighting Snakes!: Tuesday Open Thread

Congratulations, Canada. You managed to spend roughly $468 million to kick three Quebecois folks out of their legislative seats. California spent $275 million to make absolutely no changes, so...value? NFL NEWS: Relatively little of interest. The NFL PR Auxiliary is kind of starved for #kontent, so mostly they're just doing wild overcorrections

They’ve Got Us Surrounded, The Poor B*stards: 2021 Buffalo Bills Preview and Tuesday Open Thread

[Author's Note: Yes, this is the Tuesday Evening Open Thread.  Jack shit is going on tonight, and as of now the biggest NFL news is Tyrod Taylor being named the Texans starter.  Given that Jack Easterby has replaced the Texans medical staff with three faith healers and a televangelist, I