Turkeynacht Finale Game Thread

LiveBlogs

King Hippo - November 26, 2015November 26, 2015

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There are only so many corpses to roll out from the NFC East, so some must be saved for Sunday. Thusly, you will be treated to... Bears @ Packers (8:30, NBC) Though this may have "third shitshow of the day when one is already sleepy from teh turkey" written all over

24 Men On The Frozen Tundra: A CFL Playoff Preview

The Maestro - November 10, 2015November 10, 2015

We're halfway through the NFL regular season, which means that things are just now starting to heat up for impending playoff races. For those teams on the bubble, these nine weeks are going to be gut-check time. There's a lot of intrigue left to be had... who knows if someone's

Bears Bye Week Update: In the Deep Deep Woods

Bye Week Updates

BrettFavresColonoscopy - October 22, 2015October 22, 2015

Hey, gang, lots has changed since the experts here at Ye Olde Flying Doore made a bunch of predictions about our favorite teams before the season started. One head coach has already been fired, Cuntler has gone missing, and RGIII is doing worse than Jared. But as my favorite team

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - October 16, 2015October 15, 2015

So a lot of things coming up ahead this week. Cowboys have ditched Doopy Pantz for Matt Cassel, the Bears play the Lions to figure out who sucks worse, Aaron Rodgers gets to continue his reign of terror against a Chargers team that got gut-punched by Le'Veon Bell on Monday...

Chicago Firesale?

NFL News

BrettFavresColonoscopy - September 28, 2015

Earlier today, the Chicago Bears traded DE/LB/Mullet Enthusiast Jared Allen to the Carolina Panthers. Had to be a good deal, right? According to the WWL: "The Bears will pay $11.5 million of Allen's salary, while the Panthers will pay him $823,000, sources told ESPN. The Bears will get a conditional pick

An American Football Fan in Paris

BrettFavresColonoscopy - September 12, 2015September 11, 2015

As many DFOers/Kommentists/DFOoses/whatevers know, our own Old School Zero is currently training for a cheese eating/surrendering contest by exploring France from the tip of her Eiffel Tower to the taint of her Larzac Valley. 'Twasn't shortly after arriving in Paris that he intrepidly snapped this photo: Since he didn't get a

Fans in the Woods: 2015 Chicago Bears Preview

A perfect encapsulation of how this franchise fucks itself

Team Previews

BrettFavresColonoscopy - August 10, 2015August 9, 2015

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2015 DFO Chicago Bears Preview A Conversation Between Cuntler and BrettFavresColonoscopy, moderated by Jeff Joniak Jeff Joniak: Hey there, sports fans, welcome to the first ever Chicago Bears preview on Door Flies Open! I’m Jeff Joniak, voice of the Chicago Bears while you’re tailgating or at home and need to listen to