Tag: Chicago Bears

Bye Bye Beary

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Los Osos de Chicago entered their week 9 bye week with a DAZZLING record of 2-6, good for last place in the division and an earlier than usual bout of "should they tank the rest of the season or not" debate. Just like last year, this team is TERRIBLE without

Soldier Field Field Report

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As as with most things in life, I'm tardy in bringing this to you. But last week I went to the Bears-Lions game with Lady BFC (not sure that name is gonna work for her), my sister, and a buddy from elementary school. No, not an eight year old, dude,

To Bear Down or Not To Bear Down

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That is the question. At the risk of stating the obvious, football is awesome. The hitting, the strategy, the fresh grass underfoot as your team of choice takes the field in that late summer warmth--they all fill you with excitement, anticipation, and joy. Yet there is a key ingredient required to

NFL Heroes

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As we all know, getting old sucks. You have to pay bills, everything randomly hurts, it takes longer both to get drunk and to recover from the previous night's (or weekend's) drunkenness, and you no longer have that wonderful naiveté that comes with youth. That sense of bright eyed wonder

Turkeynacht Finale Game Thread

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There are only so many corpses to roll out from the NFC East, so some must be saved for Sunday. Thusly, you will be treated to... Bears @ Packers (8:30, NBC) Though this may have "third shitshow of the day when one is already sleepy from teh turkey" written all over

Chicago Firesale?

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Earlier today, the Chicago Bears traded DE/LB/Mullet Enthusiast Jared Allen to the Carolina Panthers.  Had to be a good deal, right? According to the WWL: "The Bears will pay $11.5 million of Allen's salary, while the Panthers will pay him $823,000, sources told ESPN. The Bears will get a conditional pick

An American Football Fan in Paris

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As many DFOers/Kommentists/DFOoses/whatevers know, our own Old School Zero is currently training for a cheese eating/surrendering contest by exploring France from the tip of her Eiffel Tower to the taint of her Larzac Valley. 'Twasn't shortly after arriving in Paris that he intrepidly snapped this photo: Since he didn't get a

Duchess’ Soapbox

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/Climbs up on soapbox Erik Kramer earned the nickname "Brass" because when Rodney Peete was injured Kramer had the "brass balls" to call an audible on his very first play with the Detroit Lions. He would later take the Lions to their only NFC Championship game in 1991. He owns the

Fans in the Woods: 2015 Chicago Bears Preview

A perfect encapsulation of how this franchise fucks itself
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2015 DFO Chicago Bears Preview A Conversation Between Cuntler and BrettFavresColonoscopy, moderated by Jeff Joniak Jeff Joniak: Hey there, sports fans, welcome to the first ever Chicago Bears preview on Door Flies Open!  I’m Jeff Joniak, voice of the Chicago Bears while you’re tailgating or at home and need to listen to