Senor in the City, Episode 0: The Knicks Game Story

Senor Weaselo - January 24, 2020January 23, 2020

Senor Weaselo is a freelance musician living in New York City. As you would expect, this means he has some stories and adventures. This new column will be a collection of those stories, and other also ramblings that go on in his mind, because he tangents with the best of

Your “Take It Where You Can” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - January 22, 2020January 22, 2020

NFL Notes: Raise your juice boxes in appreciation - Eli Manning has retired. It will be formally announced at a special press conference on Friday, after Eli & Daniel finish their final sleepover in The Meadowlands. After 16 seasons & one "fuck you" to the Spanos family, Eli hangs up

Your “What’s Old Is New Again” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - December 4, 2019December 4, 2019

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NFL Noise: Break out the juice boxes, because Eli Manning is coming back to active duty! Current & future disappointment Daniel Jones is in a walking boot with a moderate high ankle sprain, making dragging Eli out of mothballs a necessity. If he does play on Monday night, Eli would meet the

Request Line: Eli’s Slumber Party Mixtape – Volume 6 (Up All Night)

DFOing Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - June 28, 2019October 27, 2023

113

INT. ELI'S ROOM - LATE NIGHT ELI MANNING and DANIEL JONES have returned to ELI's room. ELI's cheeks are covered with tomato sauce from the pizza rolls he just scarfed down. ELI MANNING: Wow, man, I'm pretty stuffed. DANIEL JONES: [grinds teeth] ELI: I think maybe I should brush my teeth and then crash. DANIEL:

Request Line: Eli’s Slumber Party Mixtape – Volume 4 (Promises)

DFOing Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - June 7, 2019October 27, 2023

INT. ELI'S ROOM – NIGHT ELI MANNING and DANIEL JONES are playing Space Harrier II on Eli's Sega Genesis. DANIEL has made it as far as the Zero Polis level, but then grimaces as he gets blasted by a Phantom Samurai. As the game music turns off, the raucous sounds of

Request Line: Eli’s Slumber Party Mixtape – Volume 1 (Kid Stuff)

DFOing Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - May 17, 2019May 17, 2019

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EXT. NONDESCRIPT BROWNHOUSE, PARK SLOPE - DAY A young man carrying a duffel bag climbs up the front steps and hesitates for a second, trying to decide whether to use the large brass knocker or the bell. He eventually presses the bell, and a few moments later... --- [door flies open] --- OLIVIA

The 2018 New York Giants Preview Roast

Ian Scott McCormick - August 21, 2018August 21, 2018

Good afternoon everybody and welcome to New York City...adjacent East Rutherford, New Jersey, for my Hacky Ass™ Roast of the New York Giants. That’s right, we’re doing a roast. Why? Because almost all team previews on comedy sites are roasts at heart, I’m going to cut the bullshit and just start

The Dak Prescott Summer of Maturity: Chapter 2

Crossovers

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - July 11, 2018August 8, 2018

EXT. A ROADSIDE IN RURAL NEW JERSEY - DAY CAM NEWTON, ELI MANNING, DOUG MARTIN, and ANTONIO BROWN stand glumly in front of the wreckage of a black pickup truck. CAM: Okay, so maybe we can't drive... ANTONIO: Maybe we can call an Uber? CAM: None of those asshole drivers will accept a pickup from

The Dak Prescott Summer of Maturity: Chapter 1

Crossovers

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - July 4, 2018June 24, 2025

EXT. RURAL SURROUNDINGS - DAY We open with a wide shot of a vehicle parked at the edge of a field. An orchestral version of a familiar song plays softly. Cut to a closer shot of the vehicle, then another cut to its interior where we see the NARRATOR (Richard Dreyfus,

The Wickersham Man on Eli Manning, Man

BrettFavresColonoscopy - November 30, 2017November 30, 2017

As our own ChampagneFellerRoy covered last night, Eli Manning has lost his starting job to Geno Smith. The NFL, much like life in American politics, is clearly a meritocracy, so Eli Manning acted like the trainers his brother assaulted in college and took it on the chin. But apparently some