Fun with Roger Goodell: A Liar’s Guide for Moving to LA 2 – Electric Byegaloo

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - January 20, 2017January 20, 2017

59

After sixteen years of threats, the San Diego Chargers officially filed for relocation last Thursday to move to Los Angeles, a city that has made it abundantly clear that they do not want them. His eyes on smoggier pastures and the false promise of more cash monies, Dean Spanos stomp, stomp,

ELECTRIC EXODUS – The Final Showdown

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - January 12, 2017January 12, 2017

58

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA - DOWNTOWN - DAY BREAK BOLTMAN: WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN BOLTMAN'S DOMAIN. THE FAITHFUL CHARGED ONES MEANDER ABOUT THEIR PITIFUL, MORTAL LIVES AS ANOTHER LONG OFFSEASON BEGINS. BUT BOLTMAN MUST NOT WAIVER! [Shreds an air guitar solo] IT IS UP TO HIM TO ONCE AGAIN LEAD HIS LEGION

Meanwhile, at the Luxor

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - December 9, 2016December 9, 2016

49

INTERIOR, LUXOR CASINO & HOTEL - MAIN STAGE [A large audience sits in their seats and murmurs in anticipation of the premiere of Las Vegas' most talked about new show. After a few moments, the lights shut off, and the stage begins to fill with smoke.] ANNOUNCER: Welcome, everyone, to the Luxor

Drew Kaser Takes a Tour of Qualcomm Stadium

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - October 12, 2016October 12, 2016

20

INTERIOR - QUALCOMM STADIUM, SAN DIEGO - MIDDAY [DREW KASER is walking deep within the halls of the stadium with teammates ANTONIO GATES, MELVIN INGRAM and JOSH LAMBO. It is dusty, dank and rusting and the lights occasionally flicker, casting ominous shadows across the narrow, seemingly endless corridor.] KASER: ...so after explaining

A Perfectly Cromulent San Diego Chargers 2016 Season Preview

Old School Zero - August 17, 2016August 16, 2016

42

(This preview has been brought to you by Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, Old School Zero, and sunrisesunrise) Keenan Allen: Damn. This shit again. Brandon Flowers: Yeah, tell me about it. Hell, I don’t even think Rivers has healed up from last season yet! Philip Rivers: [Limps in on crutches, most of

The San Diego Bye Week Report: A Fantastic Journey (To Last Place/Angeles)

Old School Zero - November 19, 2015November 19, 2015

28

[Deep within a hospital, a patient lies prone, still, and hooked up to many medical devices and machines that whirr, beep, and occasionally print out some esoteric bit of information to be collated later. There are no flowers, no evidence of visitors. A doctor stumbles into the room.] Dr. David Chao:

The Masque Of The Yellow Lightning Bolt

Old School Zero - October 28, 2015October 28, 2015

16

I’m not sure why I went back. I can’t even remember the time between when I left and when I returned. I remember the end of the game—well, okay, more like the end of the 3rd quarter—being taunted by Raiders fans as I trudged out, cursing the powder blue #17

Coping With Loss in La Jolla

Old School Zero - October 13, 2015

28

(somewhere on a sunny beach in La Jolla, Callifornia) Brad: Brah! Good waves out there today. Jackson: Totally, brah. And my gal K8 [ed. note--literally spelled that way] packed me a whole box of fresh fish tacos. Brad: Rad! With the guac? Jackson: Yup. And I made some of that mango salsa. Brad: Sweet. So, did you go to the game

Meanwhile, in the San Diego Locker Room…

NotKontent

Old School Zero - October 2, 2015October 2, 2015

20

Brandon Flowers: Damn, it's been almost a week and I'm still bummed out from losing so badly to the Vikings. Malcolm Floyd: Tell me about it. I keep running through how we could have turned it around in my head, trying to figure out what went wrong. I've hardly slept, man. Flowers:

All roads lead to L.A.

sunrisesunrise - September 3, 2015September 3, 2015

30

I was too young to appreciate the Air Coryell days with Fouts, Alworth, Winslow, Joiner and Jefferson. I did however get to watch Stan Humphries and Natrone Means lead the Chargers to Super Bowl defeat against the juggernaut that was the 1994 49ers. I had the pleasure of then watching

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