God Bless Don Carlo – Saturday Footy Musings

King Hippo - February 25, 2023February 24, 2023

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There is a very light schedule this week (no early fixture at all), so let's also look back at mid-week in Shempions. Oh my cats, y'all. The pure JOY of the Redshite melting down, in the home leg of the tie. Up 2-nil after 15 minutes of play, only to lose

Oh, We Got A Title Race Goin’

King Hippo - February 18, 2023February 18, 2023

175

Did you remember to blow off work to watch City away to Arsenal mid-week? An absolute cracker of a match. King's Afrikan Water Pistols outplayed the reigning champs for about 70' - but were level at 1. And those last 20' were a dagger to the heart. City now are ahead on

Hate Week Lesser Footy Morning Thread

King Hippo - February 11, 2023February 9, 2023

I hate pretty much everything. Which means every day is Hate Week, if you's a Hippo. Which is pretty fortunate, since hate 100% makes the world go 'round. So every day should feel like Christmas, then! But then again, I HATE Christmas too. But nothing fuels Hippo's personal bile furnace like Satan's

Total Recall – Revisiting Footy at the Half-ish-way Point

King Hippo - February 4, 2023February 3, 2023

Hippo is still too angry to see straight. But good news (if not an Evertonian) - footy is back this weekend. Bad news? The fixture slate sucks hobo asshole. At least until tomorrow's Spotlight Dance (Spurs v. City, 11:30, NBC). So, let us look back upon what has happened to date,

Your ‘Eh What The Haal’ Sunday Morning Open Thread

DFOing Good

Horatio Cornblower - January 22, 2023

119

So it's 10:25 am and I'm looking at last night's thread. I've been up for a while, moving furniture and such in preparation for this week's commencement of the Great Kitchen Gutting which will occupy my time, (well, not my time per se, but definitely our house, our money, and

Instant Hippo Boxing Day Thoughts – Week 16, 2022 Season/EPL Resumes

King Hippo - December 26, 2022December 25, 2022

Holy cats, this sportsball 3-day weekend is fucking beautiful, ain't it? I watched all of yesterday's NFL trifecta, despite...not really liking any outcomes. Because my fantasy team may be leaving oil like a motherfucker...but 2nd place pays out pretty good. Maybe I would use the funds to make it to DFOcon

Ghost of Slave Labor, or, Your Japan World Cup Preview

Senor Weaselo - November 22, 2022November 22, 2022

Oh good, we're off to the races with a Ghost of Tsushima joke. Which, after hearing about the premise and reading the history, I can tell you with certainty after watching Senorita Weaselo play about 3 hours and then getting sidetracked with another game (twice), ends in the original definition

It’s Chucky’s Team Now: Your 2022 England World Cup Preview

The Maestro - November 20, 2022November 18, 2022

What an absolutely abysmal eight decades eighteen months it's been for England. First, you're already the laughingstock of the planet, still dealing with the aftershocks of a crumbled empire that have been inevitable for the past century. Second, your perennially underachieving football team appears to finally play up to form for the

Prem Heating Up – Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - August 20, 2022August 19, 2022

Even beyond the deliciousness of Men Untied and the Redshite entering their Up Own Rectums Derby having secured a total of 2 points from a possible 12 - the League is full of storylines, even by its own standards. I get the sense we will have a very entertaining season of

Footy Observations – Saturday Night Thread

King Hippo - August 6, 2022August 6, 2022

It's great to have the Footy back, is it not? Over-analyzing Matchday One is a fool's game, but hey, I am guilty as charged. The King's Afrikan Water Pistols may just "have the balance right" now. They looked dangerous, and comfortable on the ball. And - very new for them

2022-23 Lesser Footy – Oh We Back, Y’all

King Hippo - August 6, 2022August 4, 2022

153

Let's face it, Clubhouse footed ball enthusiasts. Most of our dreemz is ded already, but the beauty of Week One is we don't know FOR CERTAIN or how they'll go about dying. So, we giddy-up with NBC, USA, and Peacock Premium and WE FOOKIN' RIDE again. Friday Night Footy gave us a

Saturday De-Motivational and Lesser Roll Call

King Hippo - July 2, 2022July 2, 2022

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The best you can hope for is to die in your sleep. - Kenny Rogers, 20th century American poet I thought. I would. Be mooooorrrre than this.. - Cloud Nothings, 21st century American poets https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIitQNXVgb8 Life is a wet bag of shit. Just a matter of when it breaks, not if. And how