Tag: Reverend Mayhem

#DisBelieveland: 2020 Cleveland Browns Bye Week Update

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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Quick: without looking at their record, are the Cleveland Browns a good team or a bad team?   Got an answer?   You're wrong.  Whichever way you answered, you're wrong.   Cleveland is a Limited Heisenberg Uncertainty Team: at any given time, you can know where they are, but you can't know where they are going.

Football’s Sh***iest Cosplay: Your 2020 Detroit Lions Season Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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Hot Taek: The Detroit Lions are perhaps the most consistently DFO Team in the league. Why? Schadenfreude. They jettisoned Jim Caldwell for the sin of going 9-7 in consecutive years. At that point, they hired Matt Patricia from the Patriots.  Bob Quinn had been hired from the Greatriots in 2016 and

I Can See Cleeeeeaarrrly Now, Tom Braaaaady’s Gone: 2020 Buffalo Bills Season Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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[Author's Note: Despite the overwhelmingly positive response to last year's All Interpretive Dance team preview, I have decided not to go back to that well a second year in a row.  Try to contain your disappointment.] So here it is.  It's finally happening.  Like Christmas morning, high school graduation and losing

The Burning Stream: Your 2020 Cleveland Browns Season Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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Cleveland, Ohio is a wonderful city, bursting with many shining examples of culture, fine dining and friendly people. Every single word of that sentence is a filthy lie, except for "Cleveland," "Ohio" and "City."  And frankly, "city" is being generous.  I would have gone with "penal colony," except that usually requires

Walk Unafraid: 2020 Hate Week Super Bowl Narrative Roundup and Open Thread

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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We’re rounding into the final straightaway before The Pepsi Hard Rock Casino Super Bowl LIV Presented by Odor-Eaters.  It’s a tight one this year (somewhere Kobe Bryant just sat up and started paying attention) as the Chefs are a consensus 1.5 point favorite over Santa Clara.  This is one of two sub-2-point

“C*ck Weasel” and Other Terms of Affection: Your Monday of Hate Week 2020 Open Thread

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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Brothers and sisters, I welcome you to DFO Hate Week 2020. Hate Week is our annual pre-Super Bowl spiritual enema, casting out the residual toxins of the Season That Was and preparing ourselves for the new and exciting toxins to come. Today, I present my List of Unpopular Opinions. Feel free to

Hate Week 2020 Retrospective: Revisiting My Disasterous 49ers Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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Welcome, everyone- it's Hate Week 2020 at DFO!  It is my third-favorite time of the football year, trailing only Draftsmas Eve and P*triots Schadenfreude Day.  Hate Will See Us Through. And there are so many, many things I loathe with a great and abiding passion. The P*triots. Alt-Nazis. People who don't pronounce