We’ve tried to carve out our little slice of the Internet independently of where we came from, but one tradition we would like to keep going, which was actually started by Yeah Right, is the annual Elimination Pool. Actually, this was really started by him, so it really does fit with the DFO modus operandi. In addition, we thought it would be fun to expand the offerings this year to week by week prognostication contests both by spread and straight up.
Eliminator Challenge
This is your typical suicide pool. You pick a different team each week that will win their game. The twist is that you can only pick that team once the entire year. If your chosen team wins, you stay in. If you lose, thanks for playing. The link to the league is here:
http://games.espn.go.com/nfl-eliminator-challenge/2015/en/group?groupID=15907
Pick’em (Spread)
You pick all of the games of the week against the spread. The site keeps track of your record and of the group leaders. Best record at the end of the season is declared the winner. Link: http://games.espn.go.com/nfl-pigskin-pickem/2015/en/group?groupID=80480 (Password is NotKSK)
Pick’em (Straight Up)
A simpler version of the pick’em game where the only thing you have to do is pick who will win the game. Again, the site keeps track of your record and of the group leaders. Best record at the end of the season is declared the winner. Link: http://games.espn.go.com/nfl-pigskin-pickem/2015/en/group?groupID=80475 (Password is NotKSK)
In the past, Yeah Right has been generous enough to donate money to a prize pool, [edit 200 bucks cash or a donation to Wounded Warriors, winner’s choice] This year, I (Balls of Steel) will donate a bottle of fine booze to the winner of the Straight Up contest. Winner gets to decide the type of booze (tequila, vodka, whiskey, rum, etc. and I’ll get a suitable bottle and ship it to you. Assuming you live in a place that allows that sort of thing. Yes, this applies to our international DFO’ers too! Old School Zero will put together a grab bag of oddities and deliciousness for the winner of the Spread contest. There may be something spreadable involved (other than your mother)!
Sign up today and remember to make your picks every week! If you can, try to make your DFO name your entry name so we can make fun of you in the comments. Oh, I didn’t mention that there would be a weekly post tracking progress and making fun of people?
While I am not a rich man, I do have some small talent with a pen and ink. I would also like to offer the winner an original drawing, subject of which is their choice (over the next few days I’ll post some images, see if anyone would have any interest in such a thing). If anyone is interested. Y’know. At all.
SOMEONE PLEASE VALIDATE ME!!! I REQUIRE CONSTANT APPROVAL!
Dammit, I fucked up. Ah well.
Important update, kids. The pot for the suicide league was just matched. The winner now gets 200 dollars cash or donation to Wounded Warriors. It’s real this time!
http://38.media.tumblr.com/7d3cdd4cde2627369e081dc1c8e7b181/tumblr_nsunavGGaK1s5anqko4_250.gif
Guess I won’t be using my winning for a ticket on that new airline.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/16d7181c2765959b2ff0ecd29347302d/tumblr_nhttddwCz21s63c00o1_400.gif
And to think I’ve been settling for coach all these years. If only I’d known…
You might as well just make the donation now.
Ain’t nobody gonna take the cash.
HA! I’m so good I already picked teams for the entire season! Tremble before me DFO!!!
(actually I screwed up but whatevs).
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m69s8qd5K61rs783n.jpg
This is FANTASTIC! I love pick pools. Thanks to you guys for setting them up.
As a bonus, I would like to offer a booby prize.* The Commentist (trying that on for size) who participates in all three pools every week (Eliminator excepted, obviously) and whose aggregate placement is last shall receive a selection of Australian snacks unavailable in the USA. Go banana!
*no actual boobies
YES!! I am IN!
http://31.media.tumblr.com/72de5038df617b6042c29a37cf1091b5/tumblr_ni6lhivXdY1s63c00o1_500.gif
FEEL THE WRATH OF MY HIGH RISK, LOW REWARD PICKS!
Still a couple slots open in a 12 person league I mentioned a week ago, but I was asking for public emails to send invites because yahoo is the worst and took out URL invites, so I figure that didn’t help. I will just give out my yahoo one I never use other than to log into FF. Email me at [email protected] if you are interested.
Done and Done… and I mean done!
All in x3, ready to look like an even bigger jackass/idiot than usual. WOO!
Ready to get the Bimmons stink all over the place?
AHM A SHITTY GAMBLER YEEEEHAAAWWWWWWWWWW
Between these and Streak for the Cash, I guarantee I will win… NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
Thanks for doing this, gentlemen. I enjoy doing picks contests, and since the Chicago Tribune got rid of theirs 8-9 years ago, I’ve been lost.
On a side note, Occulto tequila-barrel beer is actually quite tasty.
That is SO WEIRD-“I” like making fun of people too!
/small world
I pick the [*Redacted] s to go 0-16. I win. Now what do I win?
You win the gratitude of everyone who hates Dan Snyder and his racist caricature team.
You win a vial of my tears.
Can I actually bet my sweet ass?
I’m sure someone here has ties to white slavery, so… yes.
Shit, no. I wanna be a green slave.
Ugh. Really?
https://youtu.be/P5ItNxpwChE
http://www.demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/0808/orion-slave-girl-cubby-demotivational-poster-1220038493.jpg
We’ll need a pic of your ass to determine its sweetness. Post here please.
When I win all three of these and one or all of you assholes sends me a box of Thin Mints, I swear to Jeebus there will be consequences.
If you win the spread contest, the entire package will be chocolate-mint based.
His sister already won the spread contest.
Did someone just mention “chocolate” and “spread” in the same sentence? I’m in.
For what it’s worth, I was just going to send you a box of my tepid feces.
Just for that, I’m gonna send you Thin Mints regardless.
I, uh… hate Thin Mints too, so you better not send me any either, asshole.
/hungrily waits for Thin Mints to arrive to stash in freezer
I, also, despise any and all form of chocolate/mint hybridy goodne— I mean, filth. Disgusting vile concoctions of the light green variety, begone from my sight. And stomach.
I guarantee I will forget to make picks more weeks than I remember to.
That there’s your lock of the season folks.
I’ll bet you money you’re right!
/tries to remember espn login
//breaks leg in 3 places
///out for the season
I am BentMyWookiee. ESPN thinks my real name, Cuntler McFartsmell, includes inappropriate language. #THANKSOBAMA
I get where they’re coming from. We don’t want any Irish here either.
Welp, there’s my excuse not to take part in any of this.
http://m0.joe.ie/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/15154444/drunk.gif
/Tries to do a jig
//Falls down
///Stumbles away
I’m Irish, and I think McFartsmell is Scots.
O’Shittypants is Irish.
They thought my name, blordinaryfagicmox 1, which they suggested, contained profanity.
/Thats entrapment.
//Had to crawl through a maze of laser boobytraps to log in so yes, actually, it is Entrapment
Heh, you said “booby.”
That’s what I said, booty trap!
I got ‘spankydatass’ past the censor-bot years ago. I guess I’m grandfathered in.
I shudder to think of what Old Man Jebediah McFartsmell would say about this, were he alive.
Jason Pierre-Paul tried to login but kept missing letters while typing.
Goddamnit.
JPP was gonna get a fingerprint reader to fix his password-typing problems, but he kept misplacing the finger that had the prints.
Nice to see you around, Mr McFadden.