Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.
Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.
It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.
What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!
So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…
That’s the second time Pey Pey has gotten Demaryius Thomas KTFO in a Super Bowl.
Okay well I’m happy for the Panthers and Cam Newton
I’m 28. I strongly dislike the ninja turtles. Is it because I’m too young or too old?
It’s because you’re smart.
me too it’s odd considering they were my childhood.
Too normal? I never got them either.
That coulda been ugly for the horseys. That ball hung up there for evah.
Luke Kuechly is a war machine.
Luke Kuechly is a heat seeking missile.
I mean, you don’t get extra points for having challenges left at the end of the game. That being said, as long as you’re right, I don’t think you should lose a challenge. There’s no rule saying the refs stop fucking up once you’re out.
Exactly. The rule should be changed to two wrong challenges and you’re out.
They just don’t want to encourage coaches to point out every fuckup the zebras make. Four times per game is quite sufficient in their eyes
That field is pilling worse than a cheap sweater. After only one quarter. Someone is losing an ankle and some knees before it’s over.
Jed York’s Field of Screams
OF COURSE Pheeel thinks it’s worth it.
This is dragging on forever now
RUDDERLESS RIVERBOAT
YEAH BALLLLLL SAAAAAAAACK!
Oh, it’s not a mystery, Leroy.
http://www.thebostonbachelor.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/encyclopedia-brown-and-the-case-of-the-exploding-plumbing.jpg
I knew I shouldn’t have hired ISIS to do my plumbing!
Riverboat Ron: “Alright dicknuts, you are forcing me to waste a challenge on a play your stupid ass should have gotten right in the first place! Tell you what, once you see how blatant your mistake is, how about giving me a challenge back?”
T-Mobile won
No lie. I moved recently and had to use tmobile wifi calling for about 6 months. Then about a month ago, I start getting a tower signal.
“And the ruling on the field stands, cause we don’t actually look at shit, we just smoke a quick bowl and say the opposite of whatever Mike Carey says”
Fuck the fuck off Steve Harvey!
Carolina is challenging the NFL narrative that Peyton Manning will win his final game.
This pretty much guarantees a terrible call later in the game that goes against Carolina, right?
Yay! Time for Mike Carey’s Wheel of Mystery!
Can I borrow that for a post?
RIGHT IN THE BALLS
BALL SACK!
BALL SACK!
BALL SACK!
This challenge is Mike McCarthy approved.
And Carolina is out of challenges
I don’t know, man. You spend your last challenge on this?
I’m sure glad he did.
Holy Roller- something Manning remembers from his early days in the league
Tackled him by the balls.
Time for gramps
How is Steven Tyler still alive?
So. Much. Sex.
Planned Parenthood fetal parts.
He’s been visiting the Keith Richards Geriatrics Clinic, I think.
Better question, why does anyone find him relevant enough to be in a SB commercial?
all the drugs in his system have backed up to a full stop?
and recognizably famous, despite “Dream Weaver” being the only good song he ever did
You mean “Dream On.”
yep, Jeebus the game stress has made me stupid
Wow. I actually thought that was intentional.
That blonde streak in his hair. He’s sucking the life out of American Idol contestants.
Good genes tho…
http://www.dvdsreleasedates.com/pictures/800/12000/Liv-Tyler.jpg
So, Bud Light nixed the #UpForWhatever because rape culture, but “Raise One For Right Now” passed the censors?
Well, they only nixed it after a few months and lots of anger.
I haven’t picked a new theme. Sexy older women remains the theme. Xena for the commercial break
I likey! This is a great theme I can get behind…
Spartacus was fucking awesome
Xena had quite the renaissance of late.
“And there’s a bud in front of it.” Subtle.
Amy Schumer would make a great Monica Lewinsky
Bud Light and Amy Schumer? This is Uproxx’s wet dream.
Yeah, that seems about right for these two
I’d bench talib…too stupid to play. And this is a league with gronk, jff, and hardy in it.
Someone might want to bench Talib
Talib is running for High Priest of Bleergh
Pope Talib I
My father-in-law insists it would be Caliph Talib I.
Talib might wanna polish up the ol’ resume.
Holy shit, Branden Browner has kidnapped Talib and put on his uniform in an effort to finally please Bleergh and become of Demon Prince of Penalty.
Fucken Talib
Jonathan Stewart was like, “Uh, no Cam. I’m keeping this one.”
I get nervous doing box jumps that are like…18″
Jesus, that facemask should get Talib tossed. That was nasty
Please Fed Ex it to a kid in the nosebleeds.
Thanks, Jonathan Stewart, you were only one TD too late to win me my 6/1 “First TD Of The Game” prop.
What were the odds on it being Von Miller?
Touchdown Carolina. Let’s talk about how great Greg Olson is.
Supaman!
Damn he got it up. Giggity.