So Skip Bayless is leaving TV forever and ever and ever, huh? Oh, he’s just going to Fox Sports? Well, 6 of one, I guess.
Anyhoo, Skip Bayless, for those not of the work at home or unemployed set, is one half of the “screaming morons” partnership that has entertained morons on First Take every morning for what seems like a zillion years. You could always be assured that, as soon as Mike&Mike finished their genial banter and soft rock opinions, Skip and Steven A Smith would be there to really ruin your morning.
Have you ever liked something in sports? Like, really saw something that made you smile? Maybe a Steph Curry crossover, or a great catch by Megatron, or Bryce Harper hitting a 400 foot bomb and celebrating? Well, you’re wrong, apparently. First Take, and indeed, the entire culture of ESPN, is conditioned to let you know that sports has unwritten rules, you don’t know them, and you’re watching sports wrong.
That’s what I never understood about ESPN’s “Embrace Debate” philosophy. Debate is healthy, and leads to breakthroughs and compromise. ESPN has led to morons yelling over each other about how a bat flip or touchdown celebration will ruin our children. Really, the hell with children. Children need to learn that there are people who are better than them, and those people get to rub your nose in it.
Where was I? Oh yeah. Fuck Skip Bayless. Just, fuck him. Along with Steven A., nobody has ever said as many rage-inducing things television about sports. This asshat has tried to out Troy Aikman, tried to discredit the most awesome basketball player of our time, LeBron James, he said Kobe was a better pitchman after the rape charges because he had some “sizzle”, he made me like Richard Sherman and Jalen Rose, who destroyed him.
He is a man to be admired in a certain light, though. He has taken an ability to say stupid things louder and faster than almost anyone else and turned it into a seven-figure job on TV. In terms of being a job creator, he has really helped create a whole industry of screaming gibbons, throwing their feces at each other on television. For that, I’ll never forgive him. I hope he burns in hell (or ends up unwatched on Fox Sports forever). I hope he has to carpool with Colin Cowherd.
I suppose it’s too much to ask that this means the end of “First Take”. They’ll probably just pair SAS with a screamapillar.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jYpQX0XNhU
I have to get this off my chest…
I’m not saying I like Cowherd as much as I don’t hate him. He’s like the lesser of a billion evils.Out of all the hot air pundits out there he’s not the worst.
God damn I fucking loathe that fucking asshole.
http://media.giphy.com/media/KxcxysGVErgfm/giphy.gif
http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/mlb/curt-schilling-espn-employs-%E2%80%98some-of-the-biggest-racists-in-sports-commentating%E2%80%99/ar-BBsmL9u?ocid=ansmsnsports11
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/boehner-uncorks-on-%E2%80%98lucifer%E2%80%99-cruz-says-he-wouldn%E2%80%99t-back-him-in-fall/ar-BBsnfD6?ocid=ansmsnnews11
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/bob-knight-endorses-donald-trump-in-indianapolis/ar-BBslLDo?ocid=ansmsnnews11
Most likely for a comeback. Tim Tebowww, Jamarcus Russel, Tiger Woods, or Zubaz?
“What do you mean ‘comeback’?”
-Bills Mafia
http://www.baconsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Jarius-Byrd-Bills-jersey.jpg
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5rtcjhuv51r6aoq4o1_250.gif
Skip Bayless + Fox Sports is truly a match made in hell. I assume this is the dawn of the end-times, and I should be packing light for my trip south?
Not to threadjack, but this is a joke and/or scam, right? It *has* to be.
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/bioo-charge-your-phone-with-the-power-of-a-plant#/
http://s3.amazonaws.com/kidzworld_photo/images/2016229/fcf3f74a-e167-4a62-b93b-437d56fe10b9/potato-battery-clock.jpg
They’ve finally improved on the potato clock!
You better check with Sill.
I mean honestly, their explanation for how it works makes about as much technical sense as that video I posted the other day of Björk taking apart her television set.
And entire hate piece on Skip, listing his transgressions and idiocy, with no mention of this:
I think ESPN as a whole should be excoriated for the Tebow phenomenon, but you’re right, Skip was just awfulmazing about it.
Speaking of…
http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/15420684/denver-broncos-fans-start-online-petition-bring-back-tim-tebow?ex_cid=sportscenterFB&sf25275964=1
Saw this today and wondered how long it would take for this to get mentioned.
JESUS FUCKING HORSESHIT CHRIST I HATE THOSE FUCKING CLUELESS GODSQUADING FUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks, I feel better now.
http://media.giphy.com/media/DHujNQWc9XjRC/giphy.gif
I have a dream where there’s some Fox Sports/NFL event where Troy Aikman gets into a fight with Skip, and he’s pounding him like Jon Jones did Chael Sonnnen, and Jason Whitlock tries to pull Aikman off of Skip, and Michael Irvin punches Whitlock in the back of his head, and Whitlock dies, then Aikman and Irvin stomp Skip like he was Billy Batts. And Fox being Fox, they show the whole thing on UFC Fight Night.
MLK approves of your dream.
A wet dream.
I can see it now: “He changed the way people talk about sports [pause] Forever!” voiceover during a waaaaaay overproduced montage, before the credits of the 30 for 30 “Skip Bayless: The Dysenter”.
I’m assuming you spelled “Dissenter” correctly, and that your computer saw you were talking about Skip Bayless and autocorrected it to be closer to “Dysentery”.
if he get dysentery in the end…I will totes watch
I just remembered an old joke about a former governor’s autopsy. The inside of his body was covered in shit, and the coroner wrote down “Cause of Death – brain hemorrhage”.
This is the best dysentery made this year.
Dysentery JOKE made this year.
That’s some good quality hate right there. Will it be enough to bring back Sill?
/waits
Wait, Sill is gone? What happened?
Where have you been that you’ve noticed we haven’t had a recent write up about how Trump is going to release all men from the military on day 1 and then make the offical Army uniform this
I surrender.
And Sill had a difficult night ’round here about a week or so ago. Nothing any of us haven’t had before, and it doesn’t need to be talked about further IMHO.
Hopefully, he’ll be back soon.
I missed that night, was wondering about that. Shame bout that. Hope he comes back.
He didn’t RSVP the Passover bash I threw last Saturday morning.
When I saw him trending, I was hoping he’d been fired for very embarrassing reasons. One can’t have everything I suppose.
This is the greatest news ever. I might be able to turn on ESPN in the morning now… They are just gonna replace him with someone worse aren’t they?
“Best of First Take”
Chris Berman All Star Home run calls.
I have never watched more than 2 minutes of Skip Bayless, or Screamin’ Stephen, so for once I am blameless for a great evil falling across the land.
The Old Gypsy Woman was wrong!
Hippo and meself know someone who allegedly punched ol’ Skippy in the schnoz and brokeded it back in the 80s in a very brief bar fight (I believe the story, but cannot offer incontrovertible proof).
The altercation arose due to Skippy hitting on the aforementioned “Someone’s” then-fiance and not backing off when asked nicely. FWIW…..”Someone’s” then-fiance, now wife, also corroborates the story, btw….though admittedly, she was wayyyyy pissed off about “Someone” having shared said story.
“Someone’s” now wife doesn’t sound like a keeper. This is what she should have been yelling, for the good of society.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2008/12/cage_fat_top_3.jpg
/I’m sure she is wonderful, but that is a serious misjudgement on her part.
Actually she is a great lady.
She was just embarrassed about the whole thing apparently.
“Someone” is very proud of the story and used to tell it way more often than she was comfortable with as I understand it.
Did this punching take place in the DFW area? If not can you divulge the city? I seem to remember the Hot Sports Opinion Makers in Dallas talking of Skip’s adventures in very disdainful terms.
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SoCal…not 100% sure of the city.
theeWeeBabySeamus and Hippo sittin’ in a tree….. WHY DIDN’T THEY FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH HIM?!?!?!
To be clear…we weren’t the punchers, nor were we present. Hell, I’d have been in my VERY early teens at teh most.
We only got the story a few years ago
He was reason #1 I turned off ESPN for good (except for NFL games, with the sound off). He’s the main reason “provocative” and “controversial” now only mean “asshat” and “huge attentionwhore”. Perfected the alchemy of turning inane trolling into “Hey, I’m only being sincere”. Makes me wanna punch any institutional blowhard described as an enfant terrible.
And fuck kids. My cool grandpa was right: children devalue everything.
Not you, little miss T; you are a star in a bleak cosmos. But help me God if you don’t clean up your room NOW. Shit!
http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/have_a_seat.gif
I just take this as more proof that Fox Sports is paying way too much for their crappy network.
JAY & DAN DESERVE BETTER!
STRONG TAEK!
Terrell Suggs called him a douchebag on air and I wanted to have his children after that.
If by “have his children” you mean “establish possession of his children by removing them from his custody” I felt the same exact way about Adrian Peterson, but for different reasons.