Your “Back To School” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Drew Brees (pictured) & the Saints are talking about contract extensions. I guess being 30% of the Saints’ salary cap isn’t enough.
    • I sure hope he doesn’t starve on that $19.75 million he’s making this year. Maybe he can feed his family using some budget tips from LaTrell Sprewell.
      • FYI: here’s how well that turned out. Bet you’ll be shocked.
  • As expected, Justin Forsett re-signed with the Ravens. NFL bookkeeping regulations forced them to drop him for the weekend so they could IR other players and then resign him. But it’s too hard to study concussions.
  • Jarvis Landry said he’s not afraid of Richard Sherman. I bet Ryan Tannehill is, though.
  • Why does the NFC love building up the Patriots? The Eagles have traded Eric Rowe to The Empire in exchange for help on the offensive line, because Carson Wentz is gonna get killed without it.
  • Some former LA City Councillor is suing to force someone other than the city to pay for policing at Rams games. Or, y’know, they could just ask the Crips & Bloods to play nice on neutral ground.
    • In documents, they claim that the police presence at games constitutes an “unlawful gift of public funds“, estimated to be worth up to $2 million/year.
  • Keeping with the Rams – Jared Goff is officially inactive for Week 1. So…BUST!
  • Troy Aikman is some pissed at FOX for hiring Skip Bayless. Drama queen.
  • The 49ers released Bruce Miller after he got into a fight with a 70 year-old man over the weekend.
    • no official reason has been given, but given how he looked, getting trucked by an old man doesn’t bode well for your chances against the Rams’ front four.

Finally, ESPN has their ranking of which games will be most watchable opening week. (Here.) I’m not sure how Cam Newton versus Trevor Siemian comes in at Number 1, unless it’s to watch Luke Kuechly break the single-game sack record. But I totally get why Browns-Eagles is dead last.

NOTE: I will be in Seattle Sunday and will provide a report next week on all the promised “improvements” to the “game-viewing experience”. Anyone else attending a game is warmly invited to prepare their own report for publication right here on this very site. Just drop us a line, and we’ll tell you what we’ll need to make you internet-famous (sex tape optional).

What’s this doing here?

Today was the first day back at school in BC. The school year runs from the day after to Labour Day to June 29th. It’s always fun to sit and look out my window at the police radar trap, catching people who forget that the speed limit dropped from 50 to 30 km/h overnight. In Vancouver, fines “range between $196 to $483 if you’re caught speeding in a school zone.” (news1130.com) One school district in PEI rang up 22 offences in one day today.

I work in an alternative program, based out of the adult division. That means, to get to me, you’ve been kicked out of a regular high school and at least one alternate program. Getting me as your teacher means you’ve achieved “last exit” status before expulsion, and because it’s the adult division I don’t have to talk to any parents about how wrong their precious little snowflake has been treated.  It’s actually quite nice, because it eliminates all the bullshit that comes with having to find an answer for all of God’s special little creatures.

It also affords me the opportunity to run a bare-bones program – self-directed learning; one-on-one discussion; no giant lectures which bore kids; non-mandatory attendance – that focuses on helping kids just take courses without all the “emotional IQ” and “subtlety” that a regular school is mandated to provide. I hold no illusions – I’m preparing kids for either the trades or college – but at least I’ve given some of them that one last chance they needed to smarten up before a lifetime of limited options came upon them.

Last year, out of 50 registered kids, I had 13 graduate, and 35 complete something towards graduation. I had a better success rate than 75% of other programs, with fewer staff and approximately half the funding.

There are a few of us who people the site that are educators and/or public servants. For every one jackass the media talks about (rightfully) that do exploit the system – don’t fucking get me started on seniority vs. job performance – remember that the vast majority of us choose such a career from an innate desire to give back or help up.

Plus summer vacation – screw that July job shit.


Tonight’s sports: (all times Eastern)

  • U.S. Open Tennis: Women’s and men’s quarterfinals – 7:00 | ESPN
  • CONCACAF 2018 World Cup Qualifying Soccer:
    • U.S. vs. Trinidad and Tobago – 8:00 | FS1
    • Mexico vs. Honduras – 10:00 | FS1
    • El Salvador vs. Canada – 10:00 | TSN
  • WNBA Basketball: Minnesota at Los Angeles – 10:00 | ESPN2

Enjoy your evening, for in 48 hours WE FOOTBALL!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Fronkenshteen

Just dropped my son off at pre-school for the first time. Feeling shaky.

Cuntler

It’s tough, but the socialization is good for them, and his immune system will be humming along swimmingly before you know it. Unless Jay Cutler’s kids go there. They don’t, do they?

Fronkenshteen

Our neighbor is a substitute at his school. We were at their house having a bonfire & told them our worries. Mostly his language (my fault) and sharing skills (he’s an only child), and she assured me they’ve “seen it all”. Hope she’s right, or some little Presbyterian kids are gonna sound like extras in Goodfellas by the end of the week. The cutoff here is 9/30 & he was born in late October, so he’s one of the bigger, older boys there and it’s really important to me that he’s a gentle giant. I was youngest in my class & it sucked. Anyway, I hope he meets some new amigos so we can start playing wiffle ball! Thanks for the thought, man.

Horatio Cornblower

I still remember how bad I felt about that.

A week or so ago we dropped him off at college. It does get easier, if much, much more expensive.

Fronkenshteen

Thanks man.

Unsurprised
Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

I should mention that these potato chips have an anthropomorphic potato on them, wearing a pork pie hat and a sash that says ‘potato’

Doktor Zymm

After a long day walking around looking at temples and stuff in super hot Kyoto weather, I am having a super not fancy dinner. 920 yen (under $10) worth of cheap white wine, cold, what I think are onion potato chips, some sort of fruit jelly and a pear danish. I had octopus filled dough balls for lunch, and various green tea and red bean ice cream throughout the day. I might take a nap and go out for ramen and beer later. Kampai!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So I didn’t make this connection when you first said you were going over there. My little sister is in the exact same place as you doing similar things. If you have run into a 5′ nothing girl from the midwest named Stevi that might have been her.

Doktor Zymm

Not yet, but I will keep an eye out.

ballsofsteelandfury

SO JEALOUS!

Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

Woah! Are you alright?

Senor Weaselo

Why?

Brick Meathook

That’s what you get with a cheap Chinese door.

A real American Union-Made door would have crushed that dumbshit’s skull.

Look for the Union Label.

Unsurprised

This is what I get for not checking for replies first.

Doktor Zymm

Someone wasn’t paying attention when heads up tackling was explained

Unsurprised

So lucky doors now are cheap pieces of shit.

Mr. Ayo

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

Jesus, that’s the same cat sitting in the same spot.

Mr. Ayo

What a world! Weirdsville! Only in New York!

Brick Meathook

That cat is a real pro. Cam Newton could learn a thing or two from this gritty lunch-pail cat.

Brick Meathook

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blaxabbath

The diet continues. Tonight we had pizza.

By which they mean, a portobello mushroom cap with a couple tablespoons of marinara, some cheese, a whole bunch of veggies. I went ahead and covered mine with red pepper. My inner Ron Swanson still weeps.

Unsurprised

Good God, man. I’m fat as fuck and need to diet more, but right now I’m more concerned about an intervention/mercy killing.

Horatio Cornblower

Happy to announce that my draft in Sill’s Insanity League has earned me my first Yahoo A. Probably because it was mostly autodrafting, and no doubt in part because of autobot’s wisdom in taking two (2!) kickers.

ballsofsteelandfury

I got an A+, which means that I’ll finish dead fucking last.

Sill Bimmons

“Is someone going to put out that dumpster fire? Oh, whoops, that’s not a dumpster fire that’s the 56MillilitersOfFury roster. Easy mistake with a team that needs this much work. As the roster stands, 56MillilitersOfFury is projected to finish 17th in DFO League with a record of 4-10-0 (2,947 points). They wanted to shore up any RB concerns early, using three of their first five draft picks to draft RBs Jamaal Charles (second round), Giovani Bernard (fourth round), and DeAngelo Williams (fifth round). They put together the lowest-scoring group of WRs in the league, as they have Kevin White, Jermaine Kearse, Eli Rogers, and Sammie Coates on their team.”

Grade for my “dumpster fire?” C+

GRADE INFLATION IS REAL PEOPLE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m projected to finish 18th and also got a C+.

SEE YOU IN HELL, YAHOO!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Five teams got worse grades than me, but only two are projected to do worse than me #america

Sill Bimmons

#EndAffirmativeActionNow

Gratliff

A note from my “A+” draft:

“Lots of Brotherly Love
The fantasy hopes of Broken Grat Hardy rely heavily on the fortunes of Philly’s offense, as they have five Eagles on their roster.”

Super fucked unless “Is this the year Zach Ertz breaks out? Part 4” actually delivers.

Sill Bimmons

All that YouTube challenge bullshit has a body count:

“Approximately 40 Milton-Union Middle School students were treated Friday by medics after they ingested suspected ghost peppers at the school, officials said.”

http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/news/west-milton-students-who-ate-ghost-peppers-being-t/nsQpJ/?source=ddn_home

Senor Weaselo

My name is Senor Weaselo and I approve of this mass stupidity.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Reflections on human nature: no matter how infrequently you floss, everyone flosses the night before you go to the dentist

Brick Meathook

Hey folks, go to my eBay site! I have a great collection of historic artifacts, and I’ve currently got a few choice items up for sale! These include two of the jewels of my collection:

– A sealed vial of General Patton Sicily Invasion breath
– A clump of Humphrey Bogart snot

Good luck and happy bidding!

Duchess

We might need someone to investigate Slingtv vs Playstationvue

Unsurprised
Senor Weaselo

That might be one of the best replies on this site.

Spanky Datass

DFO makes bourbled Spanky glad that The Commentists enjoy some of Spanky’s drunken, bad speeling komments.
*sexy bbq ribs picture*

Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

Oh look, something else Mike Glennon isn’t good at.

Senor Weaselo

Baseball Giants just shortened my lifespan by a year for a wild card race that they’re not even going to win or should be in in the first place.

litre_cola

I get so angry whenever my phone gives me the Giants score since the all star break. I just swear and usually yell for fuck sakes the bullpen again!!!!

Senor Weaselo

…I just space cadeted. Turn in your baseball card, Senor. (I meant the Yankees, not the Dirt Niners.)

litre_cola

Did the Dirt Argos come back?

Senor Weaselo

7-6, bases loaded, ball to the wall and Gardner snowconed it. Aaaaaaand exhale.

Horatio Cornblower

Yankees just did the same to me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, basedball is over. Time to watch Tom Hiddleston match wits with Hugh Laurie for the next 5 hours. Hopefully the hot blonde won’t get kilt off as quickly as the hot raven haired lass of middle eastern descent. (sorry…spoiler alert…but it was obviously coming…grudging phrasing)

There might be masturbation. I can neither confirm nor deny. 😉

Sill Bimmons

Ppl. of earth look’s intersting,, wyatt Cynic wrote teh best King Of The Hill episode’s ppl. Forget that smh

Sill Bimmons

All stocked up on insanity!

Went full Homertard this year.

If teh Stillers O isn’t a record-setter I’m coming in last.

theeWeeBabySeamus

All stocked up on insanity!

Me too.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Guess who is the proud [?] fantasy owner of Fozzy Whitaker, 2 kickers, and 2 defenses!

litre_cola

Does anyone know if you can do 2 yahoo drafts simultaneously? I have the Sill Insanity draft, and another one at exactly the same time. I have Mrs. Colas laptop and my desktop but that could be a pain in the ass.

Sharkbait

Im in the same boat. I hope its possible…

Gratliff

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litre_cola

Thought someone would know before me attempting to find out.

JustStopDude

The hot taeks of the Panthers “Why your team sucks” is hilarious in the comments.

A whole lot of people are starting off comments “I’m not racist but…” and then proceeding to say a bunch of racist shit about Cam Newton.

theeWeeBabySeamus

GODDAMMIT…WILL YOU FOLKS PLEASE STOP WALKING ALL OVER MY PANTHERS PREVIEW ALREADY????

I might as well cancel it at this point. Fuck me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I promise…there are plenty of references to things being dropped and racist assholes. just STFU until tomorrow at 2 pm EDT. I beg of you.
😀

theeWeeBabySeamus

This isn’t aimed at you JSD…earlier someone was making jokes about Cam dropping his cellphone and being scared to pick it up.

Y’all’s timing…smgdh.

...

But they totally hate it when Tom Brady and Peyton Manning do the same thing!

Old School Zero

I saw a car, here in Portland, with a faded Ben Carson 2016 bumper sticker. He really had people willing to go full bumper sticker? Really?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I won’t go so far as to say he was even close to qualified for the office (only my non-opinion), but he’s a pretty sharp dude by all accounts. Friends of mine who work(ed) at John’s Hopkins have nothing but respect for him and everything he stands for.

Let’s put it this way…I’d rather drop into his lap that The Donald’s.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Then again, I’d vote for Crackhead Boo Boo before I’d vote for Trump.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfKGwPNQIAk

JustStopDude

The whole reason I am alive, let alone able to walk and function, is because of him.

I am of the theory that aliens kidnapped him and swapped him with a clone that wasn’t quite done in the incubator.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMAO…drop into his lap.
Yikes.
*drop the job and the mess into his lap

/needs to start drinking…sober typing worse than drunk typing.

Old School Zero

Being the son of a heart surgeon, and having met a lot of great doctors & surgeons, I wouldn’t trust my dad or any of his peers to successfully do anything outside of their particular specialty. That includes things like managing money, feeding themselves, or maintaining human relationships.

I suppose that does make them pretty good choices for politics, though.

theeWeeBabySeamus

To be clear, I do not think Carson was qualified.

Sill Bimmons

Word ’round the neuro campfire is that he became an untenable risk in the ER due to his excessive desire to play god and they quietly shoved him out to avoid a major malpractice incident.

Senor Weaselo

I keep telling myself “Get Undertale” and then I don’t want to follow through with it because I don’t want to see what happens if I try a Genocide run.

Gratliff

Ask my son, he’s going full genocide with full knowledge of what it means in the context of Undertale. It’s possible he’s psychotic.

Senor Weaselo

I know what happens, it’s whether I can go through with it, and how I’d feel if I did.

JustStopDude

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Neil Connery was the best bond.

Sharkbait

So, Narcos is a pretty good show.

Shogun Marcus

I keep hearing that. Too much on the list already damnit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Anybody watch The Night Manager way back in….
/checks dvr
…holy shit, February. Wow, I’ve been way remiss. Anywhoo, plowing thru dvr finally and watched the first episode earlier while cooking. And it hooked me, but am expecting the rest to end up sucking badly.

I never did get around to reading the book or else I suspect I’d be disappointed probably.

Shogun Marcus

Nope. Considering my sweet spot for British teevees and some of the actors in this I’m shocked i din know about it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

6 episodes, I’ve only watched the first, but so far it’s very good.

Shogun Marcus

Part of why I like them. They do their jorb and get out. Keeps it speshul and subject to more exciting development. Not dragging to eternity.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Precisely why the abortion adaptation of Under The Dome pissed me right the hell off. Oh, CBS got decent ratings…let’s leave it open ended and change a bunch of shit to get a second season.

jjfozz

Another fantasy football draft, I should just donate the money to Father Callahan’s House for Wayward Hookers, Loose Women, and Fallen Cheerleaders. At least I would have fun at the annual budget review.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d like to donate something to this place myself now that you mention it.
(weekend after next confirmed, I’ll shoot you and email tomorrow and see what we can figure out if that’s cool)

jjfozz

Shoot me one, let me see if I can work out the timing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Sharkbait

Good evening fellow degenerates

theeWeeBabySeamus
Warthog

For a couple hundred cases of beer, the Hell’s Angels would be happy to provide security.

https://youtu.be/0qTKsylrpsg?list=RD0qTKsylrpsg

Sill Bimmons

5 minutes until go time…

theeWeeBabySeamus

At least apprise those of us who are wise enough not to display our stupidity/derision of all things not team oriented sports (ie the abortion that is fantasy sports) who among you geniuses has made the dumbest picks as you go.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Homemade Kung Pao Shrimp for dinner tonight. Damn that shit was good even if I did make it too spicy. Fire in the hole tomorrow probably, but totally worth it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, Sill, remind me, who won this shitshow last year?

Sill Bimmons

No idea.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMAO.
Ya damn smartass.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I figured it didn’t embed because of being mobile addy. But I generally don’t try to post media from phone so da fuq do I know?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Guys…Hey guys, Rob is making fun of me again….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD8mxge6kek

theeWeeBabySeamus

Honestly, I don’t listen to R&B a great deal, but there are a few artists I really do like. And yes he’s one. Old Destiny’s Child is a guilty pleasure also, as is Mary J Blige. John Legend has a few songs I like a great deal also.

Sill Bimmons

Draft Room is open!

56MillilitersOfFury drafting 7th WOO

...

56millimetersoffury will never not be a great fucking name.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We liveblogging the insanity draft?

Sill Bimmons

Last year it was mostly confined to the league message board, but do whatever you want.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

SPOILER ALERT: THE 13th PICK WILL NOT BE A GOOD ONE

JustStopDude

Every time I see a commercial for the remake of “Blair Witch” I want to run head first into a brick wall.

Shogun Marcus

Agreed. The whole gimmick of the original is lost in this day and age.

JustStopDude

I never really liked the original. I mean I didn’t find it scary at all. The acting is terrible. The characters do the stupidest shit to justify getting lost.

Good writing, you don’t have characters doing stupid shit to move the story line from point A to point B.

Pretty much the only gimmick was making “found footage” more well know…as even film buffs don’t want to admit to watching “Cannibal Holocaust”. I do think they did good job of explaining why people have cameras on them…which is never explained in shitty “found footage” movies.

God I fucking detest found footage movies…

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Good writing, you don’t have characters doing stupid shit to move the story line from point A to point B.

Someone tell the Fear the Walking Dead team… Fuck, and the original at this point.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This.

But Maggie is worth overlooking such trivialities as good story telling.

Col. Duke LaCross

The V/H/S series was pretty good.

ArmedandHammered

I thought it was a sequel since it is about a family member trying to find out what happened to the original group.

Senor Weaselo

2 Blair 2 Witch?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

2 Witches 1 Cup

ArmedandHammered

I thought it was called The Woods, did they change it?

ArmedandHammered

I see they did change it. I actually liked the first one. But I did get lost at night in Pisgah National Forest while being a bit impaired.

Gratliff

I just started working for an intermediate school district, which is basically the head of a bunch of school districts in a certain region used to give schools more buying power and access to resources and personnel smaller districts usually wouldn’t have, most often special ed and therapy specialists. In my case, most school districts only have 1-2 tech support or a tech “director” and a support specialist, so the ISD provides server hosting and administration for the schools, but even that is fairly limited, so I got hired on to start automating server tasks with PowerShell and some other fun server administration stuff, basically trying to remove need for extra bodies the board will never approve hiring, but am technically just a technician in name. It doesn’t pay anywhere in the realm of what it would in the private sector, but it’s the first time in a decade I get to have a job where I feel like I’m making life better for people who actually need it. I get to actually be in an academic environment with people who don’t actually think we should eliminate operational millages and go to a for-profit public education system. Most importantly, at the end of the day, I’m helping teachers help kids. It’s the first time in a long long time I have a job where I care what the outcome of my work is. I care so much, that I took the first day of school off as a personal day to play the new World of Warcraft expansion. I CARE THAT MUCH.

Shogun Marcus

THAT’S GOOD AND APPROPRIATE HUSTLE!
*SMACK*

Sill Bimmons

Got Sicilian coming for Insanity Draft I

http://oiprestaurant.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/sicilian.jpg

It’s actually a Nonna pie, but nobody outside Monmouth County knows what that is.

JustStopDude

I seriously have zero fucking clue how to play fantasy football. Like what positions should you draft first?

Is there an autodraft feature? I hear that pisses people off when the clueless person wins thanks to the autodraft.

herodotus450

Autodraft can’t win you a league, but not-autodrafting can lose you a league.

Sill Bimmons

RB, QB, and WR in the first three picks in some order depending on the quality available at the positions when it comes your turn to draft. After that it’s Best Available.

And nobody else knows how to play in this league either, so don’t sweat it.

JustStopDude

I’m going full crazy Belijerk brilliant and drafting all kickers.

Sill Bimmons

Whatever floats your boat.

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blackroseMD1

The guy behind the counter at the liquor store up the street offered to give me some shrooms just now. I declined. 18 year old me would kick my ass.

Also, I finally managed to get a gif of my favorite part of the Chargers/Niners game.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Agreeing with Troy Aikman is a lot more difficult when he’s not disagreeing with Joe Buck…

Sill Bimmons

If you’ve ever asked yourself “Why does everyone hate the Clintons so much?” it’s because of shit like this:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/inside-bill-clintons-nearly-18-million-job-as-honorary-chancellor-of-a-for-profit-college/2016/09/05/8496db42-655b-11e6-be4e-23fc4d4d12b4_story.html

Seriously, these people are fucking rats in a Skinner box that hit the money bar when presented with the stimulus of oxygen.

JustStopDude

I came in from my after work jog and turned on the TV. For some reason, my cable box default channel is fox news. I watched a segment about a farm that employs migrant workers.

God I love that shit. They don’t want to pay a living wage…which I understand because consumers refuse to pay a living wage for their produce. But instead of doing what every other industry has to do, which is automate, for some fucking reason we need to subsidize the farm industry’s exploitation of workers.

The kicker of course is that the husband and wife end the segment going on and on about how they are voting for Trump. You know…the asshole running on the whole “Lets end all migration NOW no matter the consequences”.

This election cycle is a black hole of shit.

herodotus450

But with all those honorary degrees he’s eminently qualified for that position!