Late Night DAK! vs. Hoyer Country Game Thread

Well…who ya got?

Unlike any QB ever before him, nor any QB who will ever come after, DAK! has an affinity for his mother. That has to give him an edge, unless it has made him kind of a sissy ,, no ofence.

The Bears…continue to shit in the woods AND all over the field.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Horatio Cornblower

The Cowboys seem determined to fuck over anyone who drafted Elliott for the TD points.

JustStopDude

I fucking hate these Chevy commercials.

DontHair

I feel bad for Deshon Kizer or Desean Watson when they get to play behind this dogshit line and for this dog shit organization. Fucking McCaskeys.

WCS

One plays for Notre Dame, the other, Clemson. Playing for the Bears would be karma.

Romonobyl

I love this fucking game.

The Maestro

Chicago’s already a gun-free area, and if they were serious about protecting us from an assault on our senses, they’d make it a Bears-free area as well.

...

That works on two levels!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Chicago has 19 yards already? When did they sneak those in?

Senor Weaselo

Dunbar vulturedown?

Doktor Zymm

I’m so torn….I like Alfred Morris….but he’s a Cowboy now. I BLAME CHUBBY GRUDEN, THAT CHEESEFUCKING DEVIANT

John Difool

Alfred Morris actually WANTED to remain a [*Redacted] . So, I’ll never hate on him…. other than actually wanting to be a [*Redacted] .

DontHair

Third and a deuce. Nice segue to talking about the Bears defense Al.

Senor Weaselo

Ezekiel Elliott’s an excitable young man. Shouldn’t they tell him to think about something else while he’s going at it to counteract that, or does that not work?

Doktor Zymm

Maybe he’s a Cubs fan, so he can’t think about baseball….ugh

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Poised! Finish your drink.

Brick Meathook

I can never quite get the point of what GE is trying to get across in these commercials.

You’re General-fucking-Electric. No one has forgotten about you.

Sill Bimmons

However, your local elected official may have forgotten who really signs the checks in this tightly contested election season.

Those ads are for their benefit.

JustStopDude

I cannot tell you the number of times I have had clients where we did the drives and GE did some other part of the project (we used to be partners with GE) and they beg and plead for us to finish/fix whatever GE was doing for for them.

You think cable companies are nightmares to deal with…try GE’s customer service.

Unsurprised

Is it like how Carlin described companies “servicing the account?”

Romonobyl

The girls here are wearing Wellingtons. WTF?

jjfozz

If I was richer than Marshawn Lynch, I would have Marshawn Lynch just hang around my house so he could say fucked up shit and make me laugh.

Then we’d go out for tacos.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Marshawn Lynch could still start for 20 teams this season despite going on the Jamarcus Russell diet

herodotus450

For some reason I want Barry Church and Barry Pepper to do something together. Maybe fight a deadly ex-secret agent cyborg now posing as an adult contemporary pop musician mainstaid in Vegas who is definitely NOT clinging to the fame of his one hit 30 years ago.

Covalent Blonde

“Barry Picking”

John Difool

“Watch out boys, this lead singers got talent”

Sill Bimmons

That’s not Pavlovian conditioning, it’s operant.

theeWeeBabySeamus
...

I don’t think salivation will be the only reaction.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thanks…I needed that mental image.

Doktor Zymm

It’s also really similar to an instructional horseback riding boot I submitted to the Duracell competition in high school….Though they probably don’t use a mercury switch

...

I’d like that football if it made that annoying as shit noise when you held it incorrectly instead of correctly.

...

Seriously, I can’t take sounds like that. If my smoke detector is beeping, I have to change it RIGHT THEN or else I’ll go nuts.

Once, I watch some amateur porn where the smoke detector chirp was going off and I actually couldn’t stay aroused. I might have actually yelled at the screen for the dude to put his pants back on and change that damned thing before they all burn.

John Difool
Covalent Blonde

Is “guy” the commercial word for paramour?

jjfozz

Michelle Tafoya just said “ball security”, pardon me while I step out for 10 seconds

Sill Bimmons

Going from RedZone to SNF is like going from heroin to Miller Lite.

...

I’d replace “Miller Lite” with “whatever rubbing alcohol” is sitting in my medicine cabinet.

Claymaker

Brian Hoyer is a latter-day Odysseus, trapped in an endless football journey by the gods obviously despise him.

Senor Weaselo

That three and out is Cutler’s fault.

DontHair

Did you see his body language? He arched his back and hissed when John Fox walked by and tried to pet his head.

Romonobyl

I’m surprised Cutler doesn’t have a cone around his neck.

Covalent Blonde

Does the caption under this first photo really describe Rawls as the Mariner’s RB?
http://sports.mynorthwest.com/191193/seahawks-missing-two-running-backs-sunday-including-thomas-rawls/

Mr. Ayo

No wonder they’re going to miss the playoffs.

jjfozz

My days of making babies will cease in November. Gonna get the pipes snipped.

Apparently there’s going to be a lottery held to see which lucky nurse gets to assist.

Doktor Zymm

A snip, a clip, a zip, and a SHOT OF BOURBLE!

Duchess

LIONS
@COLTS
JAGUARS
@PACKERS
VIKINGS
BYE WEEK
@BUCCANEERS
@GIANTS
TITANS
49ERS
@LIONS
PACKERS
[*Redacted] S
@VIKINGS

cant help to think there might be a win or two in there

...

I suspect this team will have some late season run where they win 3 or 4 out of 6 even though they’ll be out of playoff contention and there will be a bunch of talk about moral victories that’ll just ensure no access to elite draft talent come next spring.

Doktor Zymm

No matter how bad the [*Redacted] s have been, they still beat the Bears, since I moved to Chicago. I’m proud!

Doktor Zymm

HOT TAEK! The Cowboys would look better if they wore a darker shade of fake knee socks with their silver leggings.

Romonobyl

Update:
There’s a smoking hot girl in a Cowboys jersey across the bar from me. The dude she’s with could care less about the game, she’s huge into it. I hate life.

Doktor Zymm

I walked by a couple earlier today, woman in a Chiefs jersey, followed by a guy in what looked like a generic Milwaukee baseball jersey. I didn’t talk to them, and I know nothing about them, and she’s a Chiefs fan, but I’m still pretty sure she’s too good for him.

Doktor Zymm

But I’m still sleeping with a Patriot’s fan, so you probably shouldn’t listen to me

Duchess

Does he ask you to put on a Tom Brady Jersey?

Horatio Cornblower

Oh the chuckles you two must share over deflated balls jokes.

litre_cola

Are they dating? If not, scream at the tv and make a connection. Or bitch about something and give here an AMIRITE???

Duchess

Ask yourself WWVID?

What Would Vanilla Ice Do?

The answer is walk up to her and say “Why dont you drop the zero and get with the Hero?”

DontHair

I’m only watch this shit till the strain comes on. I’ll still post here with “oh come on” “my god this is hard to watch” “so disappointing” etc and you’d never even know I wasn’t watching the Bears play.

Also I lurked KSK a long time and I’m glad you guys kept the good work going here. Glad to be apart of the madness.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve yet to watch a single episode yet this season. They’re all on the dvr, but as of yet I haven’t lost enough self respect to push play.

jjfozz

I want to kill everyone involved with This is Us.

litre_cola

I do as well. Name the time and place and we will take care of it.

LeighAnne

I want to take Sterling K. Brown out of this show and put him in a better show.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can we drop off Conor Barth as long as we’re already in Dallas?

Senor Weaselo

Back from grabbing dinner. Shit, Arnold Palmer died. I guess I need to go to the deli and pour one out for him.

herodotus450
BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Bears best chances to score tonight will come when the Cowboys offense is still on the field.

DontHair

So 0-17 this year for the Bears? I say 17 bc they are so bad they will even lose the bye week.

Doktor Zymm

Nah, they have to win enough that they don’t have a good draft pick to fuck up

herodotus450

The Cincinnati Syndrome

LeighAnne

The Browns would like you to know that no one beats them at losing!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Big Hole Exploited was also the name of Octomom’s porno

Horatio Cornblower

I nominate this for banner comment.

At least until Buddy shows up.

jjfozz

Cutler’s thumb injury a result from the sharp edge on a can of Fancy Feast.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Duchess

I see the Bears arnt waiting for the second half to give up playing defense this game.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddammit Baltimore. This Double Duckpin double IPA tastes like fucking cat piss.
/sadly, I do know from cat piss foar reals
//also not exaggerating…this shit sucks

WCS

Pictured: tWBS most nights
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theeWeeBabySeamus

It was (almost) always an accident. There are right times and wrong times to check out the back end of the kitties.
(wow, that sounds way wrong even still…gonna quit while I’m behind…the cat…get it?)

Doktor Zymm

I am entertained that nfl.com describes the Skins/Giants game as “a wild affair”

John Difool

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Brocky

That time of possession stat?

That’s jay cutlers fault

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Trying to write a new movie review. I think I need alcohol.

Also, there was no HRTN this week due to site kerfuffle (that’s the technical term). So I’m just gonna post it this week instead if that’s cool with y’all, and spend some time working on that damned poster instead (which I decided to make changes to, cuz I iz stoopid).

jjfozz

Question, how soon into the premiere of Timeless will a character say, “It’s not where are we, it’s WHEN are we?”

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Eleven seconds.

...

Do I dare watch the generic time travel TV show knowing I’ll probably be annoyed by it?

Senor Weaselo

Does Dan Harmon then go for the lawsuit citing Inspector Spacetime?

LeighAnne

Eric Kripke (original creator of “Supernatural”) is involved, so cheesy dialogue is a given.

Doktor Zymm

I do have some Pimm’s Cup in my cabinet o’ liquor, but I am currently drinking Cava….out of a Pimp Cup

Covalent Blonde

How much CTE can fit in just one Sorrento?

Duchess

Hey made it back on…had to run incognito mode like im looking at porn to escape the White Out

WCS

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