How’s THAT for a freaking title? Short….sort of. To the point….mostly. I was pretty impressed.
Apparently I was the only one. OK.
How’d I end up here tonight, typey typey-ing? Waxing neither syphilitic…..errrrrr philosophic, nor poetic…bcuz I iz stupid n junk….but like seriously, how’d I end up here?
SCOTCHNAUT!!!!!!!!!!!
Yup….you already knew the answer. Fucking Canadia, man. Dude wanted to start drinking early, and he decided to trick me into taking his post. But the joke’s on him….
I’ve been drinking all day already anyway.
As I’m typing this, my Ravens hold a 20-14 lead, but a rather shaky lead to be sure, in the 3rd qtr. So yes, it follows I’ve been drinking all day.
I’m also trying to keep up with the NC State/Fairfield Roundball game. So far, nothing there to piss me off….yet.
–
There’s also some Hockey tonight.
And some NBA.
And some College Basketball.
–
That banner image up there….? That’s Dak. Dak ain’t no blue star. Dak is a bulldog. Dak is pissed off. And also possibly concussed.
Tonight could be fun.
OK….FOOTBALLING ON A SUNDAY NIGHT!!!!!!!
TB @ DAL
I find it somewhat amusing that folks are singling out Dak in a negative way before this game. We really are a collection of horrible people. Dak will be fine. I expect he’ll show that tonight, but I make no guarantees. But even if not tonight, Dak will be fine.
Tampa Bay is on a 5 game win streak, and has positioned themselves alongside Atlanta for the NFC South title. A win tonight would bolster a Wild Card shot as well.
Dallas is the -6.5 home favorite.
Dak will make you believe. Fuck Famous Jameis….right in the pussy.
Cowboys 30, Bucs 17….is my prognostication AND NO THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW BIG MY NOSE IS!!!!!
(sorry, old joke….older nose)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4ibKrj1h8s
–
Enjoy your Late night Sunday, folks.
And also…..bet Cowboys to cover.
–
27-17, Ratbirds hanging on so far. Still plenty of time to blow it, but I’m starting to see the odds slide up rapidly.
–
Goddamn, I so love good defense. Nice Red Zone stand holds Philly to three. 27-20, coming down the home stretch.
–
Remember what I just said about good defense? Yeah, fuck that. Ravens find a way to almost blow it at home to Philly. Big time props to Philly for going for the 2pt conversion. Go big or go home…..serious respect. But Ravens dodge the bullet, 27-26 at home.
Goddammit Cincinnati….you had one job.
I suppose that NC State Basketball 99, Fairfield 78, has to be good enough for a dreary Sunday.
I shall now zone out and watch late-ish games and then the LATE game. Who is that again? Oh yeah, ‘Boys hosting Bucs.
Dak Dak Dak.
I ‘member now.
Fuck you, Ted.
And yes….still funny…
(Sorry Dok….but it is)
–
marry, fuck, kill, sue, skype:
the 5 dancing santas there
http://68.media.tumblr.com/1af368e8e3072a1a1ae29f79113a6858/tumblr_mgglwb4BQK1rbhnqko1_500.gif
GoToMeeting?
I am buying myself an xbox one s or ps4 pro for xmas. I haven’t bought a system for myself since ps2 which seems insane because I owned every one growing up. Which one should I go with?
I’m partial to Xbox (own one) but the VR on the playstation is intriguing.
I’m loyal to ps4 for no real reason, but I haven’t played an Xbox since the original.
That was my sisters argument for ps4
I was having this discussion with LCSS last night, actually.
We agreed PS4 was better system, slightly, but it really comes down to games and what your circle of friends game on.
I have no friends so I am ok there. It is a better machine but it doesn’t have as much app support which is what I will use it for a lot of the time.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/0098d7043b0f5858b6c62f5b806d35da/tumblr_oc081s9NLM1r4dip7o1_1280.jpg
Yeah, I’m partial to Xbox One but that’s because I’m a freak for Halo and playing CoD Zombies with my friends while saying truly horrible things about their friends, families, and genetic makeup.
I don’t own either (I do own a 360 and PS3 though). Both have their positives, but personally I’m leaning PS4 because their streaming services are amazing. You can rig up your console to stream and play games remotely (from PC/Mac) or from a PSVita apparently which is cool… plus the VR stuff and also with console-to-console game sharing which seems cool as hell too.
Also, stop saying mean shit about Jennifer Garner.
She is a goddess and you are all nothing.
She’s a fucking bitch…..
An attractive bitch, tho.
man jaw
Which makes it clear you don’t have one.
OUCHIE!!!!!!!!
LMFAO
Alright Dallas, make this a 6 minute TD drive.
SEE?????????
This is why I don’t bet on sports.
I hate this game
You better dive old man, I’m throwing ALL YO SHIT IN THE POOL! Swim fucker.
This comment better be IRL.
Pretty sure I’ve said something akin to it at least once.
Every time that commercial airs, God kills a puppy.
This confirms it. NBC kills puppies
It’d be great if you could see that little girl sprinting away with those Gucci sunglasses he handed her.
Hey, while we’ve got Mr. Garner on camera here, let’s get his thoughts on Ben Affleck!
Why is the soldier-girl crying while flying home? is her family so horrible that she longs for the peace and quiet of the Korengal Valley?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/df194435a292f6db27d7ee71a6a71a84/tumblr_oc8bsq8JWR1r4dip7o1_1280.jpg
This makes complete sense
Mawwiage. Mawwiage is wot bwings us togeder today.
There is regular cloying, and then there is Toyotathon cloying.
I think that commercial gave me a disease.
I fucking hate that commercial.
Why do people watch commercials?
Wouldn’t it suck if that plane crashed right there? Fuck right off, Toyotathon.
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/51354/f925b2513530951.jpg
I’m not sure if The OA is good or bad or just on, but it has to be better than this game.
My son’s 8-6 FF team beat his semi-obnoxious roommate-best friend-Tom Brady obsessed’s 14-0 team in the first round of their play-offs, barring about 30 points from Elliot tonight.
I find this hilarious.
Your son’s doing God’s work.
I don’t trust anyone who is obsessed with Tim Brady. I’m telling you, Brady has a dark horrible secret. Worse than Cosby, I’d bet.
Well, if you’re going to call THAT holding then I don’t even know why we call this football anymore.
We do?
I don’t know why we call it football in the first place. Is misleading.
So looks like everyone is miserable. Just what I expected.
I love watching Dallas fail, but seeing Rapey McFratDouche fail brings me more joy.
hey this here turned interestn’
And Jameis turns it back around.
Is it me, or was step 7 missing the N in confident in Winston’s QB notebook?
My daughter was in that room when that “OK Google” ad came on with the father reading to the kid who won’t shut the fuck up and my daughter says “You know what you can’t see the father’s face? Because he’s dead and the girl’s gone crazy.”
I should lock her in her room right?
You should hide your axes and knives.
She’s already made a shiv out of hair and old toothpaste
We probably shouldn’t have told our kids that “busy hands are happy hands”.
She can probably start fires with her hands by now
I’m not going to watch the rest of this. I’m just going to assume that everyone gets salmonella from the gatorade and they have to call the game when everyone starts puking and shitting their guts out on the sideline.
So a Browns game breaks out?
And you are gonna turn that off?
Fucking Zsa Zsa Gabor is dead too. God dammit, 2016. Fucking stop. Just Jesus fucking Christ.
2016 taking all the cool people.
2016
I mean, she got to 99. Not a bad run.
King of the Hill theme?
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvrcp8jDsl1r2rfyso1_500.gif
I think that means everyone has to drink
wait…….black people play hockey?
Well done NBC on playing the King of the Hill theme as bumper music.
I want Jimmy Fallon to be shot into space tied up with an endless loop of other talentless “comedians” playing on a loop on headphones as he slowly dies from a combination of freezing, starving and thirst.
Would the Simpsons rocket to the sun suffice?
Previous comment brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
/ screwed up rephrasing it
Jimmy Fallon is really annoying
If you ever want to have a good time tell someone from Brown or Columbia that those aren’t real Ivy League schools.
The Ivy League is just a shitty division of college sports anyway
I mean, it’s just FOAR ppl so bad they couldn’t even walk onto an ACC school ,, smgdh
http://113.imagebam.com/download/Vg4FZHjvZwR5fFbptCy04w/47266/472652246/180462.jpg
I assure you that making such a proclamation only proves your own foolishness.
Ted Cruz agrees.
I despise this game, and everything about it is awful and it’s hard being this spiteful and angry. Is this how Trump voters feel about America?
That’s how they’re going to MAGA.
No. Their spite is much worse. A level I cannot even fathom, and I hate everyone.
Make SNF Great Again
Is a white WR still gritty even if he’s catching passes from a black quarterback
Goddamn that was a nasty catch.
Must’ve come with the Bucs from Tampa
I needed like no points from Brate and Evans to have a chance in my FF playoff game, I was doing ok til this fucking drive.
My only hope now is Kelley and Olsen each score for their team every drive
Senor,
It’s smoothie time.
http://a.dilcdn.com/bl/wp-content/uploads/sites/25/2013/08/Llama-Dance.gif
If you’re gonna run the guy at least put him on IR smdh
so the gorilla is in prison? here comes the hate mail
FREE HARAMBE
Man is it just me or do high school football players look me and more scrawny every year.
seriously, the o line when I was in high school averaged at least 210 lbs, and they were all over 5’10
I know there’s a piece about growth spurts and all but my god
I wish i was Jerry Jones’s grandson
If Carr had hands thats an easy pick.
Since it is Christmas week and it got kinda brought up earlier. What is your favorite Xmas episode of a show? I am sure there are better ones but the one that jumps to mind for me is IASIP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgSmTwXf73M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKdnqjnegEs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sT5WYSwET28
Trying to kill people with my mind is both tiring and ineffective to date
But keep us posted, yes?
/note to self, stop making ass herpes jokes
Nah, that’s totally fine. I suspect my problem is there’s too much hateable shit in this game, makes it hard to focus the spite.
I too would like to learn this talent.
NEVER!
You should kill them with Kindness*
*Attached photo of Kindness, a GAU-19:
I’ll bet I could get my neighbors to get that broken down heap-of-shit car off their front lawn with that thing.
If not voluntarily, you’d be able to break it into much smaller chunks, and scatter them around at will.
I’ll take two and a fighter jet.
https://what-if.xkcd.com/21/
http://45.media.tumblr.com/d24c9e4d8f16c95559cb150ee7b57443/tumblr_nsq2clQxV81s4y2zbo1_500.gif
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/monkey-cage/wp/2016/12/18/a-new-poll-shows-an-astonishing-52-of-republicans-think-trump-won-the-popular-vote/?tid=pm_pop&utm_term=.2d72d325c1c9#comments
Sadly that does not surprise me at all…
This country may be at the dumbest it has ever been. Even dumber than when one half of it wanted to go to war over the right to legally own other people.
Its like these people want Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
SLAVES HAD IT GOOD IN THE SOUTH YOU LIBTARD #MOARFAKENEWS
You’re missing racemixer, minority-lover (insert all that apply), LBGTQ slur, and of course, cuckold in that insult. Shit, I think I’m still missing something in the boxes to check off.
get my horse ready
You can’t make religious people believe facts. By definition they are already ignoring them.
Those comments.
THOSE COMMENTS.
what a weekend, Spurs win, won $3k, moms home cooking and the sales rep in Vegas proclaimed her love for me. It’s good to be Spur.
and the dead body!
Do you think there’s a stripper in Tampa that looks sort of like Steffi Graf and uses the name Stiffy Staph?
Absinthe tonight, eh?
I’m actually stone cold sober….weird, huh?
give it time
Very.
Sounds like a roller derby name.
This guy in the car commercial seems remarkably happy for someone who’s wife just left him for a car-selling elf.
Maybe they have a mutual elf threesome fetish.
cuckold
One of the best christmas specials.
I like how the NFL is confused why people hate their product when they have had 7 commercial breaks in the last 15 minutes
They’re going to fix it! Next year it will only be 5 commercial breaks that last twice as long!
That was just a sort of “haha fuck you” interception. I like it.
SH’ANKHOR
That’s a shame
So I bought this for myself yesterday
on one hand I’m not proud of the impulse purchase, on the other I love the color combination, and think it’ll actually go over great on christmas
Motherfucker, I think that you could be my new idol
I want to make a snide remark.
But it is pretty cool.
I have a Xmas sweater-themed party to go to and wish to borrow that.
Got it at kohls. they had a bunch of sweet gimmick ones there
There’s one right down the street, (because I live in America), so I’ll go have a look tomorrow.
“Brett Grimes does a lot of good things on the back end…”
/everyone braces for horrific tweetstorm from his godawful wife.
What is Tampa known for?
Warren Sapp and strip clubs?
that’s the entire Chamber of Commerce pamphlet!
Staph infections and strip clubs. Sometimes both in the same location!
Somehow being the trashiest city in Florida
James Randall.
MRSA?
place where your grandparents go for the winter.
Seriously, they say they liked it a lot more than any of the winters they had in ft. lauderdale.