Your “Late Sunday Game, Yes You Have to Watch” NFL-ish SNF Open Thread

How’s THAT for a freaking title?  Short….sort of.  To the point….mostly.  I was pretty impressed.

Apparently I was the only one.  OK.

How’d I end up here tonight, typey typey-ing?  Waxing neither syphilitic…..errrrrr philosophic, nor poetic…bcuz I iz stupid n junk….but like seriously, how’d I end up here?

SCOTCHNAUT!!!!!!!!!!!

kahn

Yup….you already knew the answer.  Fucking Canadia, man.  Dude wanted to start drinking early, and he decided to trick me into taking his post.  But the joke’s on him….

I’ve been drinking all day already anyway.

As I’m typing this, my Ravens hold a 20-14 lead, but a rather shaky lead to be sure, in the 3rd qtr.  So yes, it follows I’ve been drinking all day.

I’m also trying to keep up with the NC State/Fairfield Roundball game.  So far, nothing there to piss me off….yet.

There’s also some Hockey tonight.

And some NBA.

And some College Basketball.

That banner image up there….?  That’s Dak.  Dak ain’t no blue star.  Dak is a bulldog.  Dak is pissed off.  And also possibly concussed.

Tonight could be fun.

OK….FOOTBALLING ON A SUNDAY NIGHT!!!!!!!

TB @ DAL

I find it somewhat amusing that folks are singling out Dak in a negative way before this game.  We really are a collection of horrible people.  Dak will be fine.  I expect he’ll show that tonight, but I make no guarantees.  But even if not tonight, Dak will be fine.

Tampa Bay is on a 5 game win streak, and has positioned themselves alongside Atlanta for the NFC South title.  A win tonight would bolster a Wild Card shot as well.

Dallas is the -6.5 home favorite.

Dak will make you believe.  Fuck Famous Jameis….right in the pussy.

Cowboys 30, Bucs 17….is my prognostication AND NO THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW BIG MY NOSE IS!!!!!

(sorry, old joke….older nose)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4ibKrj1h8s

Enjoy your Late night Sunday, folks.

And also…..bet Cowboys to cover.

27-17, Ratbirds hanging on so far.  Still plenty of time to blow it, but I’m starting to see the odds slide up rapidly.

Goddamn, I so love good defense.  Nice Red Zone stand holds Philly to three.  27-20, coming down the home stretch.

Remember what I just said about good defense?  Yeah, fuck that.  Ravens find a way to almost blow it at home to Philly.  Big time props to Philly for going for the 2pt conversion.  Go big or go home…..serious respect.  But Ravens dodge the bullet, 27-26 at home.

Goddammit Cincinnati….you had one job.

I suppose that NC State Basketball 99, Fairfield 78, has to be good enough for a dreary Sunday.

I shall now zone out and watch late-ish games and then the LATE game.  Who is that again?  Oh yeah, ‘Boys hosting Bucs.

Dak Dak Dak.

I ‘member now.

tedbong

Fuck you, Ted.

bongrip

And yes….still funny…

(Sorry Dok….but it is)

assherpes

 

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Brocky

marry, fuck, kill, sue, skype:

the 5 dancing santas there

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am buying myself an xbox one s or ps4 pro for xmas. I haven’t bought a system for myself since ps2 which seems insane because I owned every one growing up. Which one should I go with?

Sharkbait

I’m partial to Xbox (own one) but the VR on the playstation is intriguing.

Shogun Marcus

I’m loyal to ps4 for no real reason, but I haven’t played an Xbox since the original.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

That was my sisters argument for ps4

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have no friends so I am ok there. It is a better machine but it doesn’t have as much app support which is what I will use it for a lot of the time.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, I’m partial to Xbox One but that’s because I’m a freak for Halo and playing CoD Zombies with my friends while saying truly horrible things about their friends, families, and genetic makeup.

The Maestro

I don’t own either (I do own a 360 and PS3 though). Both have their positives, but personally I’m leaning PS4 because their streaming services are amazing. You can rig up your console to stream and play games remotely (from PC/Mac) or from a PSVita apparently which is cool… plus the VR stuff and also with console-to-console game sharing which seems cool as hell too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She’s a fucking bitch…..

An attractive bitch, tho.

Spur

man jaw

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Which makes it clear you don’t have one.

Spur

Alright Dallas, make this a 6 minute TD drive.

Spur

I hate this game

Shogun Marcus

You better dive old man, I’m throwing ALL YO SHIT IN THE POOL! Swim fucker.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This comment better be IRL.

Shogun Marcus

Pretty sure I’ve said something akin to it at least once.

WCS

Every time that commercial airs, God kills a puppy.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

This confirms it. NBC kills puppies

Horatio Cornblower

It’d be great if you could see that little girl sprinting away with those Gucci sunglasses he handed her.

Horatio Cornblower

Hey, while we’ve got Mr. Garner on camera here, let’s get his thoughts on Ben Affleck!

Horatio Cornblower

Why is the soldier-girl crying while flying home? is her family so horrible that she longs for the peace and quiet of the Korengal Valley?

Brick Meathook

This makes complete sense

Horatio Cornblower

Mawwiage. Mawwiage is wot bwings us togeder today.

Brick Meathook

There is regular cloying, and then there is Toyotathon cloying.

I think that commercial gave me a disease.

Sharkbait

I fucking hate that commercial.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Why do people watch commercials?

WCS

Wouldn’t it suck if that plane crashed right there? Fuck right off, Toyotathon.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’m not sure if The OA is good or bad or just on, but it has to be better than this game.

Horatio Cornblower

My son’s 8-6 FF team beat his semi-obnoxious roommate-best friend-Tom Brady obsessed’s 14-0 team in the first round of their play-offs, barring about 30 points from Elliot tonight.

I find this hilarious.

Unsurprised

Your son’s doing God’s work.

...

I don’t trust anyone who is obsessed with Tim Brady. I’m telling you, Brady has a dark horrible secret. Worse than Cosby, I’d bet.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, if you’re going to call THAT holding then I don’t even know why we call this football anymore.

Unsurprised

We do?

Shogun Marcus

I don’t know why we call it football in the first place. Is misleading.

...

So looks like everyone is miserable. Just what I expected.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I love watching Dallas fail, but seeing Rapey McFratDouche fail brings me more joy.

King Hippo

hey this here turned interestn’

Mr. Ayo

And Jameis turns it back around.

Sharkbait

Is it me, or was step 7 missing the N in confident in Winston’s QB notebook?

Horatio Cornblower

My daughter was in that room when that “OK Google” ad came on with the father reading to the kid who won’t shut the fuck up and my daughter says “You know what you can’t see the father’s face? Because he’s dead and the girl’s gone crazy.”

I should lock her in her room right?

Old School Zero

You should hide your axes and knives.

Unsurprised

She’s already made a shiv out of hair and old toothpaste

Horatio Cornblower

We probably shouldn’t have told our kids that “busy hands are happy hands”.

Unsurprised

She can probably start fires with her hands by now

Doktor Zymm

I’m not going to watch the rest of this. I’m just going to assume that everyone gets salmonella from the gatorade and they have to call the game when everyone starts puking and shitting their guts out on the sideline.

Horatio Cornblower

So a Browns game breaks out?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

And you are gonna turn that off?

The Maestro

Fucking Zsa Zsa Gabor is dead too. God dammit, 2016. Fucking stop. Just Jesus fucking Christ.

Sharkbait

2016 taking all the cool people.

Spur

2016
comment image

WCS

I mean, she got to 99. Not a bad run.

WCS
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think that means everyone has to drink

Spur

wait…….black people play hockey?
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Sharkbait

Well done NBC on playing the King of the Hill theme as bumper music.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I want Jimmy Fallon to be shot into space tied up with an endless loop of other talentless “comedians” playing on a loop on headphones as he slowly dies from a combination of freezing, starving and thirst.

Unsurprised

Would the Simpsons rocket to the sun suffice?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Previous comment brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.

/ screwed up rephrasing it

Spur

Jimmy Fallon is really annoying

Horatio Cornblower

If you ever want to have a good time tell someone from Brown or Columbia that those aren’t real Ivy League schools.

Doktor Zymm

The Ivy League is just a shitty division of college sports anyway

King Hippo

I mean, it’s just FOAR ppl so bad they couldn’t even walk onto an ACC school ,, smgdh

Mr. Ayo

I assure you that making such a proclamation only proves your own foolishness.

WCS

Ted Cruz agrees.

Doktor Zymm

I despise this game, and everything about it is awful and it’s hard being this spiteful and angry. Is this how Trump voters feel about America?

WCS

That’s how they’re going to MAGA.

Unsurprised

No. Their spite is much worse. A level I cannot even fathom, and I hate everyone.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Make SNF Great Again

Brocky

Is a white WR still gritty even if he’s catching passes from a black quarterback

WCS

Goddamn that was a nasty catch.

Unsurprised

Must’ve come with the Bucs from Tampa

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I needed like no points from Brate and Evans to have a chance in my FF playoff game, I was doing ok til this fucking drive.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My only hope now is Kelley and Olsen each score for their team every drive

Sharkbait

Senor,

It’s smoothie time.

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Gratliff

If you’re gonna run the guy at least put him on IR smdh

Spur

so the gorilla is in prison? here comes the hate mail

Senor Weaselo

FREE HARAMBE

Brocky

Man is it just me or do high school football players look me and more scrawny every year.

seriously, the o line when I was in high school averaged at least 210 lbs, and they were all over 5’10

I know there’s a piece about growth spurts and all but my god

Spur

I wish i was Jerry Jones’s grandson

Spur

If Carr had hands thats an easy pick.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Since it is Christmas week and it got kinda brought up earlier. What is your favorite Xmas episode of a show? I am sure there are better ones but the one that jumps to mind for me is IASIP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgSmTwXf73M

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Trying to kill people with my mind is both tiring and ineffective to date

Doktor Zymm

Nah, that’s totally fine. I suspect my problem is there’s too much hateable shit in this game, makes it hard to focus the spite.

Sharkbait

I too would like to learn this talent.

Unsurprised

NEVER!

LemonJello

You should kill them with Kindness*

*Attached photo of Kindness, a GAU-19:

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll bet I could get my neighbors to get that broken down heap-of-shit car off their front lawn with that thing.

LemonJello

If not voluntarily, you’d be able to break it into much smaller chunks, and scatter them around at will.

Senor Weaselo

I’ll take two and a fighter jet.
https://what-if.xkcd.com/21/

Sharkbait

Sadly that does not surprise me at all…

Col. Duke LaCross

This country may be at the dumbest it has ever been. Even dumber than when one half of it wanted to go to war over the right to legally own other people.

Sharkbait

Its like these people want Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo

WCS

SLAVES HAD IT GOOD IN THE SOUTH YOU LIBTARD #MOARFAKENEWS

Senor Weaselo

You’re missing racemixer, minority-lover (insert all that apply), LBGTQ slur, and of course, cuckold in that insult. Shit, I think I’m still missing something in the boxes to check off.

Spur

get my horse ready
comment image

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You can’t make religious people believe facts. By definition they are already ignoring them.

...

Those comments.

THOSE COMMENTS.

Spur

what a weekend, Spurs win, won $3k, moms home cooking and the sales rep in Vegas proclaimed her love for me. It’s good to be Spur.

Spur

and the dead body!

Doktor Zymm

Do you think there’s a stripper in Tampa that looks sort of like Steffi Graf and uses the name Stiffy Staph?

Doktor Zymm

I’m actually stone cold sober….weird, huh?

Spur

give it time

Shogun Marcus

Sounds like a roller derby name.

Horatio Cornblower

This guy in the car commercial seems remarkably happy for someone who’s wife just left him for a car-selling elf.

...

Maybe they have a mutual elf threesome fetish.

Spur

cuckold

Sharkbait

One of the best christmas specials.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I like how the NFL is confused why people hate their product when they have had 7 commercial breaks in the last 15 minutes

Mr. Ayo

They’re going to fix it! Next year it will only be 5 commercial breaks that last twice as long!

Doktor Zymm

That was just a sort of “haha fuck you” interception. I like it.

Doktor Zymm

SH’ANKHOR

jjfozz

That’s a shame

Brocky

So I bought this for myself yesterday

comment image

on one hand I’m not proud of the impulse purchase, on the other I love the color combination, and think it’ll actually go over great on christmas

jjfozz

Motherfucker, I think that you could be my new idol

Horatio Cornblower

I have a Xmas sweater-themed party to go to and wish to borrow that.

Brocky

Got it at kohls. they had a bunch of sweet gimmick ones there

Horatio Cornblower

There’s one right down the street, (because I live in America), so I’ll go have a look tomorrow.

Horatio Cornblower

“Brett Grimes does a lot of good things on the back end…”

/everyone braces for horrific tweetstorm from his godawful wife.

Spur

What is Tampa known for?

Sharkbait

Warren Sapp and strip clubs?

King Hippo

that’s the entire Chamber of Commerce pamphlet!

The Maestro

Staph infections and strip clubs. Sometimes both in the same location!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Somehow being the trashiest city in Florida

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

James Randall.

Shogun Marcus

MRSA?

Brocky

place where your grandparents go for the winter.

Seriously, they say they liked it a lot more than any of the winters they had in ft. lauderdale.