Your “I Gotta Wait Until Saturday for Football?!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Welcome to the preliminary darkness of the off-season.

NFL Notes:

  • Jordy Nelson has two broken ribs. Expect him to be deactivated later this week, despite Mike McCarthy trying to game the Cowboys into prepping for him.
    • I’m not a doctor, but even I know playing a WR with two broken ribs is basically wasting a roster spot.
  • Bill O’Brien says the Patriots will “bury you” if you make too many mistakes.
    • Especially if the biggest one is your starting QB.
  • It’s getting awesomer in Niner country, as the team is suing the city of Santa Clara, accusing the city of falsely accusing the team of contract violations.
    • The team is requesting a judge force the city to either sign documents agreeing the team is in full compliance with their lease, or force the city to prove which specific terms the team is alleged to have violated.
      • So Jed York has fired two coaches, one GM, and is suing the city where his stadium is based. Good thing his mother’s net worth is $2.4 billion, based on the team’s valuation being $3.0 billion. (Forbes)

Finally, that was a delightful final 8 minutes of the Alabama – Clemson game. The Canadian feed ended just before the trophy presentation, so I hope the Commentists will let me know how savoury those ‘Bama tears were. Because all I know is this

Led to this,

Which led to this.

Delicious.

Oh, and Auburn fans had themselves a little party as well, giving Toomer’s Corner a one-ply face-lift in delight at Alabama’s defeat.

The best repository of photos from last night’s game seems to be the LA Times. They seem to go in reverse order, because they were adding to the site during the game, so page 1 is the trophy, and page 64 is the opening quarter.


Canada 150:

Today’s historical factoids run a familiar gamut:

  • 1910: The first issue of Montreal’s “Le Devoir” newspaper is published.
    • Considered the “francophone paper of record”, it was founded by Quebec nationalist Henri Bourassa.
      • the paper’s motto is “Fais ce que dois” (“Do your duty”).
    • Editorial supporters of Quebec sovereignty during the two referendums.
  • 2004: Police seize the biggest indoor marijuana operation ever found in Canada – plants with an estimated street value of $30 million – at a closed-down Molson’s brewery in Barrie, Ontario.
    • this is the most 21st Century Canadian story you will ever read.
    • 12 were arrested; 5 pled guilty, and one is currently serving 27 years in Louisiana
    • there is still court action in the case, as the owner of the land wants to sell, but the province is calling any profits “proceeds of crime”

Site news:

If my math is correct – and I think it is, because I’m a history teacher – this was DFO’s 300,000th comment:

In my mind Zack Zenner gains over 100 pounds in the off-season, takes over at center and is so transcendent at the new position that it is subsequently renamed after him.

No, you really don’t want a peek inside my mind.

That’s good hustle!

 


Tonight’s sports: hope you like college hoops!

  • NHL Hockey: Bruins at Blues – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Celtics at Raptors – 7:30PM | Sportsnet1
    • Heat at Warriors – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    •  7:00 PM
      • Kentucky at Vanderbilt – ESPN
      • Baylor at West Virginia – ESPN2 / TSN1
      • Syracuse at Virginia Tech – ESPNU
      • Kentucky at Vanderbilt – TSN4
      • Xavier at Villanova – FS1
    • 9:00 PM
      • Indiana at Maryland – ESPN
      • Kansas at Oklahoma – ESPN2 / TSN1
      • Florida at Alabama – ESPNU
      • Indiana at Maryland – TSN4
      • Providence at DuPaul – FS1

TALK TO ME!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
166 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Brocky

There’s some sort of metaphor here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeeZx2GB9qs

ballsofsteelandfury

I just saw this and I just realized that this is going to be hilarious:

https://twitter.com/BAKKOOONN/status/814335601835200512?s=09

ballsofsteelandfury

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Balls of Steel, you will be missed during your random 4-8 year stint where you just disappear for some reason.

Don T

In the last month I have also received emails from a temp agency in Colombia and a printing company in Mexico. Now THAT is an industrious identity thief.

Senor Weaselo

Why do they always confess on Perry Mason?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well what do you want them to do, pee on him?

Senor Weaselo

Maybe?

ballsofsteelandfury

Moose, I’m not sure why you separated the links on those three pics. Seemed perfectly legal to me. Were you concerned about the nipple?

WCS

WVU went Tuco on Baylor, Duke got shithoused, and I think I’m going to be approved for my research grant.

comment image

Senor Weaselo

I mean, do you really need than the poster board?
http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/1/17/Effects_of_gasoline.PNG

Fronkenshteen

Yeaux. Having a shift beer while the lovely Kayla counts the drawer. She’s crazy as cat shit and FIT FIT FIT. Like if she clenched her buttocks, you could shatter a 2×4 over them. Also, she’s legit funny. Which makes all the difference. Howzaboys?

Senor Weaselo

What’s the crazy from?

ballsofsteelandfury

Is Kayla attached?

Mr. Ayo
Senor Weaselo

comment image

Fronkenshteen

Hai!

Brick Meathook

comment image

Don T

comment image

Don T

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Doing this signs you up for 6 other random email updates. I never had email from them before I stepped visiting their site

Don T

Pensive look = Shake. Grommet.

Curse of Marino

Holy fuck, Who the hell ate Aasif Mandvi?

Brick Meathook

comment image

Brick Meathook

Oh my

Spanky Datass
Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice.

h

ttp://68.media.tumblr.com/cf73cf6914b971dabb9b09b7e784c142/tumblr_oicj2komwL1rydpjxo1_1280.jpg

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttp://68.media.tumblr.com/7f14739abe2d1400258078da96b4683d/tumblr_oim7h4LSSb1rydpjxo1_1280.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ate my copy of The Stand.
2/10 would not bang.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

comment image

Brick Meathook

Hey remember how long that football game took last night? Remember the third quarter that went on for an hour?

So I just went to watch it again, particularly the end which is the only exciting part. I recorded it on My DirecTV box even with “Add 30 Minutes” to record beyond the scheduled end time.

The fucking recording ends at the 2-minute warning.

SonOfSpam

Boy, I’ll bet Melania’s pissed (on).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Naw; she can use some of this text in her next speech.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

300K, baby! Yeah!

/waits for balloons and party hats
//gets tired of waiting, goes back to sleep

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

LemonJello

I almost spit beer all over.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttp://68.media.tumblr.com/01f3aa8ebc3eba5de95161adbe381eb8/tumblr_oio0kf8gfH1rydpjxo1_1280.jpg

Brick Meathook

comment image

Curse of Marino
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not surgeried well.

Croooow

Duke loses. This sports week keeps getting better.

JustStopDude

One of my friends posted a link about that Dairy Queen fiasco. I commented:

“You always have to be careful with these internet stories as they often times are either not true, or they are heavily embellished. This is sort of like the same frenzy that fed the Boston Bombing mess where completely innocent people were targeted by internet mobs”

I don’t have an actual picture of me on facebook. I keep the privacy to the highest setting.

Apparently to my friend’s white friends…I am a rampant racist against black people now.

Wouldn’t self loathing though make me Jewish?

comment image

Unsurprised

Race traitor

JustStopDude

So all this week, one of my Polish coworkers have been trying to help this much older engineer get this old as shit DC drive running. All last week and this week, the old dude has been hacking up a storm.

Every fucking day, either me or my coworker would say something like “Tom…why are you here? You are sick…go home”

Why do I bring this up? I just noticed that my throat is scratchy, my head is starting to ache, and I can tell I am getting sick.

I fucking detest people that do this shit…GO HOME IF YOU ARE SICK!

litre_cola

I value my personal days too much. If I have a cold I will drag my ass in there. I get 7 days a year and I will be damned if a cold will slow me up. The flu however I will acquiesce and stay home.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Seven days total vacation/sick? “PTO”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Pussy.”

– Greg Schiano

Brick Meathook

comment image

Curse of Marino

Barrack’s getting laid tonight

JustStopDude

Michelle Obama has to be the sexiest first lady of all time right? Other than Jackie O…She has to be in the top two right?

Shogun Marcus

No argument, but it hasn’t exactly been a difficult competition tbh.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I always thought it was weird that she, of all people, got her picture on the one dollar bill.

http://images.boomsbeat.com/data/images/full/213/dollar-bill-jpg.jpg

Shogun Marcus

That just makes me think of the old bill hicks bit…
https://youtube.com/watch?v=YxzxmQykQ4s

King Hippo

yeah, but the filthy shit she WILL DO ,, smgdh

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Dolly Madison is probably up there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Gratliff

Not for nothing, but an immigrant with some questionable documentation is about to become first lady, and the ‘muricans lover her because she’s hot as fuck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s well documented that she illegally over stayed her VISA.

Also; WHAT?

http://cdn.bondamanjak.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/MAC15_MELANIATRUMP_POST01.jpg

Shogun Marcus

ME TOO!
/actually prolly not
//so sleepy

JustStopDude

I fucking detest it when old white announcers use the phrase “And one”.

Honestly, its right up there with the N-word with me.

litre_cola

“and the harm” is an expression that makes me rage. That and announcers who use other sports analogies in a different sport. Blind Rage.

Curse of Marino

Joe Biden with one last wink and finger gun, haha. Keep doing what you do, playboy. Keep doing what you do.

SonOfSpam

He’s Balls’ gringo spirit-uncle.

Curse of Marino

I will be disappointed if Obama and Diamond Joe dont peel out of the White House in in a 1965 Camaro blaring Whitesnake with middle fingers extended.

Spanky Datass

“CHEVY DIDN’T MAKE CAMAROS IN 1965, BRAH!” — Boss Todd
comment image

Shogun Marcus

Thanks Obama. Sorry Obama. It should have been so much more.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

+1,000,000,000,000,000.76

Brocky

Someone who’s smarter than me:

The fuck is happening to trump?

I mean I get the sarcastic gist, but layman’s terms?

Shogun Marcus

Mental/personality disorder going untreated.

Col. Duke LaCross

The Russians ran a Honeypot operation on him and he bought in, hook, line and sinker.

litre_cola

Seeing Duke lose is almost orgasmic.

ballsofsteelandfury

Almost?

litre_cola

Can’t finish until the game ends. No premie here fella.

King Hippo

Tallahassee is their personal River of Styx.

litre_cola

Since when did Peachtree TV show ACC hoops, where are my constant reruns of terrible sitcoms????

Brick Meathook

comment image

WCS

#10 WVU squeaks by #1 Baylor, 89-68.

O AN U NOE WCS GON DRANK

litre_cola

CHUH? CHUH?

Col. Duke LaCross

May be slightly related to the R. Kelly stuff. Granted a good chunk of this is unsubstantiated and may be speculative, but this is some of the funniest shit I’ve read all day…

http://s3.documentcloud.org/documents/3259984/Trump-Intelligence-Allegations.pdf

litre_cola

Hey You! Piss on that bed because I didn’t like who slept there before!
Where are you going to sleep?
I don’t pay you for questions I pay you for peeing so get piddlin.

Curse of Marino

Donny doesnt get pissed off, he gets pissed on.

WCS

That’s nauseating.

Shogun Marcus

I’d say something something even moar of a shitshow, but I’m afraid I’d be right.

Col. Duke LaCross

R. KellyAnne

litre_cola

So my twitter feed is a whole lot of R Kellyisms going on.

WCS

comment image

WCS

This game is enjoyable.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Cutler looking skittish in the pocket.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Night game.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

comment image

Brocky

Scary movie 2 is so underrated.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

FWIW, Musgrave wasn’t fired. Contract was expiring, wasn’t renewed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lz9810Y7ZRw

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

NEWS NEWS NEWS

comment image

Two years has got to mean another ballot initiative will be in the works. That, or it’s how long they expect it will be before Dean goes bankrupt and is forced to sell the team.

I suppose this is also a good time for this PSA:

comment image

HIDE YOUR GOD DAMN CHILDREN

Curse of Marino

#BOLTMANGATE

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…Dean goes bankrupt and is forced to sell the team.

– Rikki-Tikki-Deadly’s NFL Fantasy #183

sunrisesunrise

Two more years huh? How long til KroenkeWorld (or is it StanLand?) opens? Hmmm coincidence…me thinks not.

Romonobyl

Who is bored enough to join my pity party?
Backstory: I spent two weeks of mid-December in S.E. Asia following the Mrs on a work trip. Ended up getting mad sick in a remote village in the Philippines, only to have to hike for 1.5 hours up a mountain to GTFO on the last day because it had rained too much for the trucks to pick us up. Long story even longer, we finally made it to our hotel in Ilo City, and after the most glorious hot shower of my life I soon discovered my right foot wasn’t working. I mean, not working as I couldn’t move it and had very little feeling. We still had another flight and a day to spend in Bangkok, so I stuck it out and even survived the 14 hour flight from Beijing (a connection) to Dallas and another hour flight to home. The next day my leg swelled up like a tree stump, which freaked the Mrs out (she’s a RN) and it was a trip to the doc’s. The verdict? Massive tendonitis (after an ultrasound to check for blood clots) which puts me in a boot and at least a week on short-term disability from work.
I’m only on day 2 and I’M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND!!!! Can’t do shit but drink and watch TV, not the lifestyle I wish to maintain for even 7 days. If Aaron Rodgahs hands Dallas it’s ass (phrasing!) this weekend, then I might be unable to be responsible for my actions. I might even run with scissors or swim after eating…I live on the edge bitches.

herodotus450

I think we can all pitch in 12 dorrar to get yoyu one of these while recuperating
http://fitness.playcore.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/hand-cycle.png

Romonobyl

Only 12 dorrar soldier boy?

herodotus450

14 if you want one that goes both directions

LemonJello

Rove you rong time?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How are you on binge-watching TV supplies? Might I recommend “The Expanse”?

Romonobyl

Just finished Narcos, considering re-watching Breaking Bad.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Captured by rebels who had a good WiFi connection so you could still comment……..

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think the easier way to list tonight’s sporting events was leaving it blank.

WCS

Rednecks > Baptists

Let’s goooooooo Cousinfuckers!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The general population on the Venn between those two groups has a LOT of overlap.