NFL News:
- The Raiders have officially filed their relocation papers with the League.
- According to Yelp, the second best, but closest, moving company to the O.co is West Coast Moving Systems. They have a three-hour guaranteed response time, and proudly advertise having moved Gary Payton.
- This seems right up Mark Davis’ cheap-ass alley.
- According to Yelp, the second best, but closest, moving company to the O.co is West Coast Moving Systems. They have a three-hour guaranteed response time, and proudly advertise having moved Gary Payton.
- Three relocations in two years? Who’s next – the Jags?!
- The Seahawks may lose a second-round pick for failing to disclose Richard Sherman’s season-long knee injury.
- According to Mort, this would be an elevation of their fifth-round deduction as penalty for violating rules surrounding off-season workouts.
- Travis Kelce’s favourite official Carl Cheffers has been selected as the Super Bowl referee.
- Jim Irsay announced Andrew Luck had successful shoulder surgery.
- But he has absolutely no idea where Luck’s painkillers went.
- Nope; no idea at all.
- unrelated, but related to Painkillers:
- But he has absolutely no idea where Luck’s painkillers went.
- Adrian Peterson announced his short-list were he to leave the Vikings.
- But, y’know, he wants to stay.
- If he doesn’t, it’d be to either the Giants, Texans or Buccaneers.
Finally, more Crimebeat! than NFL news, but Oklahoma CB Parrish Cobb was arrested on three counts of aggravated robbery for incidents in Waco, Texas between January 7-10.
- Cobb, who was a Baylor committee until Art Briles was dismissed, is from Waco and is alleged to have been the driver of the vehicle responsible for transporting both he and the gunman.
- As evidenced by the fact the car was identified by two of the victims, is registered to a relative of Cobb’s, and had an OU parking permit on the dash.
- Posted bond was $90,000.
I can’t wait for some idiot to say this wouldn’t have happened had Baylor not done Art Briles wrong.
It sure was nice of the nfl.com “Super Bowl Challenge” to send me “Thank you for playing notices”, especially after KC & Seattle crapped out and cost me my remaining picks. But I guess my Scottish last name was confusing to them, because while I got the requisite notification in English
it seems they also sent Spanish
and German
just in case. Not French, though, despite my Canadian address.
That’s what I deserve, I suppose, for picking the Chiefs over the Steelers & Seahawks over the Falcons. I guess I doomed myself by choosing mayo over Miracle Whip at the start of the season.
Tonight’s discussion question:
President Trump – will he be Warren Harding incompetent or Eisenhower hands-off?
- Both had popular campaign slogans
- Harding: “A return to normalcy”
- Eisenhower: “I Like Ike”
- Both started as popular presidents
- Harding reinforced laws on Prohibition, despite being a raging alcoholic.
- Campaigned against “communism, Korea and corruption.”
- Both had corrupt underlings or party members they weren’t paying attention to until too late.
- Harding – scandals: Teapot Dome; the Veterans’ Bureau
- Eisenhower – Richard Nixon; Joseph McCarthy
History has been much kinder to Eisenhower.
I am open to other suggestions.
Make sure to pour one out tonight for George Clooney’s first cousin Miguel Ferrer. Throat cancer, age 61.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Capitals at Blues – 8:00PM | CSN Mid-Atlantic / Sportsnet
- Lightning at Sharks – 10:30 – Sportsnet1
- NBA:
- Wizards at Knicks – 7:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
- Suns at Cavaliers – 7:00PM | TSN2
- Timberwolves at Clippers – 9:30PM | TNT / TSN2
- NCAA: tons, highlighted games are
- Maryland at Iowa – 6:00PM | ESPN
- Clemson at Louisville – 8:00PM | ESPN
- Figure Skating: U.S. Championships – 8:30PM | NBCSN
- Women’s short program
So in a strange bit of cosmic coincidence, I went on a somewhat lengthy diatribe – a shock from me, I know! last night about one of my technicians passing away a month after he retired and today one of my good friends, a man I’ve worked with for the past 16 years gave his retirement notice.
I love this dude. And by worked with him I mean we’ve been on the same schedule for 16 years. He was there after my mother passed away. He’s seen my daughters grow up and start families of their own. He’s spent Christmas Eve and Thanksgiving with us from time to time and he’s like my family.
He also is not in the greatest health.
Still a smoker, has diabetes, gout and arthritis and not the healthiest eating habits and this scared the shit out of me.
He plans to move to live near his daughter and other family members near Tempe.
He’s going to be fine right?
He’s going to be fine.
This is just me surveying my own mortality since I think of him as a peer. Although I have made the changes required about 15 years ago to eat right and exercise and quit smoking it’s still eye opening.
When you get older and hear about people you know moving on it’s a sobering moment.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to drink heavily.
To a long a happy retirement my friend!
Congrats to him!
SPOILER
Eugenie Bouchard lost in three sets.
Incorporated is a pretty damned good show.
Michael Grabner scores goals 20 and 21 vs Toronto. Where he played last year, and only scored 9.
Hooray, didn’t give up 7 today?
“Grabner. Grabner, Grabner, Grabner. Hmmm. I like the sound of that.”
J. Winston.
The pep talk we all need: “You’re gonna be a bad motherfucker!”
ENOUGH ALREADY!!
http://img.4plebs.org/boards/tg/image/1368/38/1368389507881.gif
Bare-knuckle slapboxing?
http://media.giphy.com/media/JSgesuekbyFA4/giphy.gif
A MNF Seattle home game appears out of no where!
I wish I could put the laughter this comment elicited from me on a 24-hour hold, cause I’m going to need it more tomorrow.
http://media.giphy.com/media/3o85xKRIokv92FRo52/giphy.gif
Creed is a great movie.
Creed is a terrible band.
No thought or insights tonight, just the comment that I’ve been drinking much more than the usual Thursday.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/1034932/karen-bitch-slap-o.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zLfCnGVeL4
http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/2015/01/face-hit-discovery-slap.gif
I imagine that’s about to become a lot more common.
http://www.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/funny-gifs-fish-slapping-dance.gif
Obummer has 2 and a half hours to:
Take our gunz.
Enslave white people,
Establish martial law,
Establish sharia law,
Establish death panels.
Take over Texas.
Did I miss anything?
Bring about the Second Coming by waging war at Armageddon
Michelle will force your kids to eat healthy food….UNAMURIKAN!
Invite Kenya over and then never ask them to leave.
Big Daddy Drew?
http://www.azquotes.com/public/pictures/authors/ff/20/ff20f438a0170ecc3080759962a92a93/5642574e1458f_drew_magary.jpg
God Almighty, that is an ugly human being.
Hypothetical: Tom Brady suffers a heart attack on the field during the 2nd quarter of the AFC Championship and is taken to the hospital. It is discovered at halftime that he has died.
What does the NFL do?
Fine James Harrison.
Well, he’s handsome I suppose, but “Fine” I’m not so sure.
Dock New England a first rounder?
They’ll give them extra ones…..
Celebrate
That’s DFO.
Yeah, but you know most of the people in the NFL would be jizzing themselves
Cut to yet another commercial break.
That one and WCS’s Harrison are fucking banner quotes.
Well a Fucking Banner is something different; I meant a DFO banner.
How did you get your hands on my NFL Fantasies diary?
Arrest Pacman. Goodell testifies for his good behavious.
BULLLEEEE DAT
Touchdown Seahawks?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yG07WSu7Q9w
Man, fuck The Ring series. What a load of liquid shit.
http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/3D-Samuel-L.-Jackson-Jedi-Knight-Freaking-Out-Intensifies.gif
Oh goddamn. I just fried up the last of my spinach before it went bad, added some pepper. It’s fucking fantastic.
http://media.tumblr.com/eab31a566f944b7b235f3b7e9ce56923/tumblr_inline_mqifd9BtWW1qz4rgp.gif
http://memeguy.com/photos/images/meowing-intensifies-53557.gif
http://thumbpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Funniest-Fail-GIFs-1.gif
When asked to comment on the allegations Pete Caroll simply said
“Joos did 9/11. Pizzagate is real.”
Isnt it required that the person running in 2020 be named Lisa Simpson?
http://orig06.deviantart.net/133f/f/2014/036/0/b/pizza_aggro_intensifies_base_by_jordanlolqwerty-d759zkf.gif
Oh, oh, possible good thing! Current best wrestling in the world is willing to come to the WWE without them driving a semi full of cash to his door.
He can be seen here, interviewing to be Trump’s foreign policy advisor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAaDyWHRCeU
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/01/19/red-skittles-wisconsin-highway/96777586/
http://styleserendipity.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/cine9.gif
Only red? Was Van Halen in town?
BeefMoe car wreck?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no_2W-4Y7p4
Being Wisconsin, the local fat fucks hoovered them all up in under ten minutes.
I can’t take any of this. I’m disgusted by what’s going on a daily basis, and I’m pretty sure I have a legitimate hatred for half the people around me. The Capitol will most likely be repainted as a tit. On the bright side, it’s definitely time for a D.C.-oriented Grand Theft Auto.
Welcome to the club. It smells like shit but the perks are … Well, there aren’t any perks. But no one gives a fuck if you wreck the place.
To be fair, the Capitol is already a tit
http://i.giphy.com/Fy7pJEV9rFo0o.gif
http://media.boingboing.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/vZ18kz.gif
http://stlsportshistory.com/blog2/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/101.jpg
Spite is all I have. And given how everything else has failed miserably, it’s all I figure we have left that might save the world.
Add in sarcasm, derision, and an overly cynical world view and we just might make it.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/3d24ea2d33d63f2a59bb2afbc7ad5a5d/tumblr_mxa4yz7SP01skksn2o1_500.gif
Womens tennis. The best tennis?
http://static1.bustaflash.com/funnystuff/gifs/tooold.gif
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JLmwnH8Qw2Y/UVXSnvNfVwI/AAAAAAAAGW4/0jGS2d3WhaQ/s1600/Funny+Faces+of+Tennis+Players5.jpg
http://media.giphy.com/media/NsA6YgaN38DW8/giphy.gif
http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/and-justice-for-all-movie-misquote-captioned.gif
– Tim Tebow, to the letters in a word.
http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/article/media_slots/photos/000/600/922/BigBenFumble_original_original.gif
Jesus Christ. It took three decades for the right-wing wackos to finally win their war on the arts. You should be so fucking lucky.
The only approved art for the next 4 years:
http://cdn1.sbnation.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/2147927/musraaage.0_standard_400.0.gif
Because cutting these will balance the federal budget: National Endowment for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Humanities and privatizing the Corporation for Public Broadcasting
0.02% of the entire 1.3 trillion budget.
Funny thing is, if its a shot at the “coastal elites”, it will backfire. In Museums in cities like Boston, New York and LA will be fine. Once again its the middle of the country that will get fucked by this policy.
The ones in small towns are always the most interesting.
Yep, and where they are the most needed.
Good. Fuck ’em.
Pedant alert!
0.012%……
*Does not affect your point.
The National Endowment for the Arts got $150M last year. That works out to under 50 cents per citizen per year, or probably a dollar or so per taxpayer, but yeah, cut it! Naturally Senor’s social media fulla musicians isn’t happy.
http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2015927/rs_500x281-151027163838-the-royals-101-elizabeth-hurley-william-moseley.gif
No! You see more tax cuts for the wealthy will balance this out.
I’ve got either Herbert Hoover’s economy going down the shitter or James Buchanan’s leading the country into the worst war in the country’s history.
Im hoping for a Nixon, but a much, much shorter term.
I like this plan. Sadly it seems everything he could get booted for is suddenly acceptable, even if it goes against those silly little law things.
Well, the Rule of Law was always a joke once you remember that it can only be applied by actual human beings, and humans are fucking shit.
He’d never resign.
Good thing that Trump is a fat old fuck, then.
Lucky for you, we’ll get both!
http://i.imgur.com/c7NJRa2.gif
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2015/06/Get-Well-Soon-WTF.gif
•Travis Kelce needs to pick his fucking battles; the hold was a damn wrestling takedown. Hopefully the recipient Harrison is fined for it.
As a proud Canadian, you forgot to mention that Eugenie Bouchard is on right now. Have a gander through the twitter profile.
I was afraid to pump her tires until after the weekend. She’s been a bit snakebit lately.
A bit Snakebit?
http://www.blackfez.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/coachq.gif
BTW, The Hair did not even bother to appoint a token Latino(a). So now you know: español is the language of The Resistance.
http://i0.wp.com/www.sopitas.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/tumblr_nrwr9t3YVF1qzt5rwo1_1280.jpg
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/robert-jeffress-trump-pre-inaugural-preacher
So this PASTOR says he prefers Trump to a candidate that embodies the teachings of Jesus because “the Sermon on the Mount was not given as a governing principle for this nation”. Let’s rank this:
-Sophistry
-Bullshit
-Shilling
-Lying
-That fucking Rev
I believe very solidly in the concept of separation of church and state, but this fucking “pastor” is perfect for this administration.
It’s a shame that Miguel Ferrer didn’t die in real life the same way he did in Robocop: surrounded by hookers and cocaine.
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b300/spacemonkey_fg/Blog%20Pictures%20III/Blog%20Pictures%20III042/Robocop28_zpsd6d60a8a.jpg
THIS was the gif I really wanted, but couldn’t find/make.
Because of course: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/trump-wanted-soviet-style-inaugural-parade
Why am I not surprised?
¡That’s Portuguese man! Esto es español:
The “Não” should have been my clue.
_nh_ and ç are non-Spanish giveaways. Also, off the toppa my head, “album” is the only Spanish word that ends in “m”.
If they wanted this poster to be accurate, they should have had Tomlin “accidentally” getting in Brady’s way.
I knew you’d do it before me. ¡Bien hecho!
I “almost” shot under 80 today. “Almost” is under my sole discretion as far as discretion.
Yes, I fucked it up.
80 what? Hookers?
Don’t I wish.
I usually triple bogey 18 to hit 80 or 81 and then I go in to a fit of rage.
Did you shoot three over on the final two holes like I did the time I was -1 after seven holes on the par 3 course?