As Barry Manilow would caterwaul, “Looks like we made it” to our second Super Bowl as a bunch of kid-like creatures that exist under the DFO banner. Well done everyone! [waits for ecstatic applause to die down] It just goes to show you what can be done with a wee bit of moxie, three cadavers, an empty garage, a government research grant, one teaspoon of wasabi, a pair of cargo shorts from Eddie Bauer, the letter “R”, (“G” can suck it-look at us now buddy, maybe you’ll actually answer your emails in the future) a few bottles of Zantac (150-the extra strength kind), the love of a bi-polar woman, superior gas mileage and some second-hand pot smoke. We’re unbelievably lucky because if you were to combine all these things together at any other point in time you’d not only not get this particular result, you’d more than likely get arrested. I thank God every day that there was no God to interfere with the extraordinarily delicate process that brought this whole thing to fruition. TO THE GAME!
In your daily wanderings across the internubs you may have gleaned that the Falcons of Atlanta are dueling the Patriots of the New England. Based on my long history of watching football I know that each and every member of both teams are going to try their very best to win the game because there is a financial bonus attached to doing so. For some it might be 10k, for others it may be 5 mil-whatever the amount, all participants (including coaches) regard this as “free money” and will do their utmost to have that money dumped into their bank account. Some will secretly record practices, others will intentionally deflate footballs. It’s more than likely that a certain unnamed squad is violating the spirit of a specific rule as I type. I’ve always felt that you are the sum of your actions and not what your guttural one- and two- and three-word responses in press conferences imply.
Okay. Now you know who I’m cheering for. Big whoop. Now it’s time for you folks to chime in. Tell us goobers what you’re up to. What are you cooking? Where are you watching the game? Hey lurker, say hello and let us know that you like what we’re doing and how we might make things better. We’re all ears-except for me, I’m all coccyx. Yeah, that’s right-I’ve got a big coccyx. If you lurk and have a medical degree…please, this condition is not pleasant AT ALL.
Enjoy the game people.
Dreamboat sack! Should have stepped on his face.
Your Brady hate warms my heart
Hey! I was pouring on some liquid metal hot hate pregame.
That was satisfying.
Does Edelman have his name tattooed on his arm because of Wes Welker’s career?
BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I don’t like this.
http://cdn.rsvlts.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Katie-Nolan-GIF-06.gif
Hnnnngh!
Amendola looks like he should be singing for Queen….not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Was there a single bad call/play/event that could have turned the tide for the P*ts? Not to my knowledge. That is going to be one salty-ass wound along the Eastern Seaboard.
The coin Toss… It was Bush’s last FU to Trump for calling his son a war criminal.
Welker would have caught that.” @gisele
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTAud5O7Qqk
NFL needs to hurry up and move the Chargers to Vegas and have a Vegas Superb Owl on regular rotation.
http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/922/969/2969922/11-alexandra-daddario-gifs-to-get-you-ready-for-her-baywatch-role-image-6.gif
My lord and my god.
Admittedly, I was really hoping for a Raiders/Cowboys SB this year. I am not, however, disappointed in this game.
Joe Buck’s acting like this is still a game
Careful. Don’t tempt fate. The Pats are like a horror movie villain — you have to kill them like a bunch of times, and even then they just come back a year or two later in a sequel.
Unfortunately, this.
Tom Brady’s probably going to end up going the way of Peyton Manning eother next season or the year after. Either way I’m not worried.
See?
It is.
POTUS? more like POS. Amirite?
POS Stands for Person Of Swellness, right? HaHa!
/Tugs collar
//looks askance at nsa agents across the table
After this game, does this end the Brady is greatest debate?
Dont be premature. You’ll jinx it
One man’s opinion: Definitely.
Of course not. His receivers let him down. Gisele said so
Cleveland Wins
Cubs Win
Bamafreude
Cowboyfreude
Patriotfreude
Id still trade all of those for a Trumpfreude
Agreed.
Or as the rest of the world calls it americafreude.
Just wait
Wow, I didn’t know the Cowboys have been a championship dominating team. News to me.
Grew up in Texas during the 90’s so yeah I have a dislike for the Cowboys
Buck is having a serious problem figuring out which gritty white receiver he’s currently seeing.
sure they all look the same dont they… now who’s the racist?
Gotta feel a little bad for the falcons though. They have to go visit Trump in the White House.
Boycott?
They are from the south. They wont mind
Considering the tweet that said he turned the game off, they may not get a phone call or invite.
I know Martellus Bennett said he would skip the trip if the Pats won.
Trump wont let them in.
Uh, did anyone hear the Joker laugh?
Stadium sound shit. I have the same sound for my player in nba 2k17. It plays over the intercom every time i get a steal
Even more unlikely than the penalties goieng against NE, I think I actually somehow did manage to eat too many mozzarella sticks.
Hmm, if I can only call “bullshit ” on one of those, I call penalties on NE.
Unrelated to the game, but you guys are aware of the Trump regrets site, yes?
http://www.areyousorryyet.com/
Hahahaha, I hope God turns them all to salt.
Without even loking at the site, I can tell you that all the things he’s done so far have only strengthened the support of his base. THIS IS WHAT THEY WANTED! HE JUST EXPLOITED THEIR STUPIDITY.
A few folks who have gotten the shit-end of his travel ban have seen the light. My favorite was the pro-Trump Syrian couple who couldn’t get a family member into the country.
Once a recession hits, people will turn on Trump.
I was sort of hoping that would just redirect to Facebook
Unless theres a big 9-11 sized terror attack, then they might rally around him.
Unless its at one of his hotels then they might cheer
It’s not 4th quarter yet?
I like Joe Buck’s tie. Now you say something nice about him.
“He is slightly less offensive to me than Trump.”
Do you think Trump’s hairpiece is made out of Joe Buck’s hair?
I would close his eyes after I eviscerated him
“An evisceration is the removal of the eye’s contents, leaving the scleral shell and extraocular muscles intact”
-Wikipedia
Somebody call Sill
He does a good job of converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
He’s not actually in my house, so the volume button on the remote is my friend.
The president of the united States felt it necessary to tweet out that this was a boring game and politics was more exciting. Why can’t that fat fuck do us a favor and have a massive coronary?
Didn’t you hear? He’s the HEALTHIEST PRESIDENT EVAR
“If I wanted to see black men beating a white man, I would turn on the Chicago news! #WhiteLiesMatter”
-DT
That does it. Joe, you’ve earned another trip through my brain. Safeties off.
Joe, Troy’s pubes are all over your mouth, man. Have some respect.
Buck looks like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia.
Near the end of the movie.
The audio system in Matt Ryan’s helmet stopped working? What are the odds of that happening?
/Remembers the opposing team
Oh.
Wait, did Matty Ice just say “I got nothing”? Second-half radio cutting out? Definitely never happened before.
Looks like Bob Craft made a call to Putinpop
I want to bury joe buck in a bed of hot coals
http://68.media.tumblr.com/ad56167495343390c85c461996ddbc69/tumblr_okpedv31Ck1qzhjh2o1_1280.jpg
Uber rating?
I hate everything.
Still love you all
*might be drunk*
12/14 doesn’t sound perfect. what a fraudulent stat, game, and league
-potus twatter
But did he play basketball?
my goodness Alexandra Daddario is so hot.
You are not wrong.
If me and Katie Nolan don’t work out, it’s TOTALLY gonna work with me and Alexandra.
All of us right now:
http://i.imgur.com/4EgjO89.gif?w=1400
http://i.imgur.com/4EgjO89.gif
Alright, fuck this.
Its Charlie Shee, beating his 2 foot erection with a glass bottle attemptibg to make it subside
Well I can’t speak for everyone else, but I’m only pulling about ?w=1200
Alright, someone find The Fridge to finish this off.
Kinky Louise > Bieber
I’m not into post-orgasmic torture, but this game is making me rethink that fetish.
wolverine would break his claws on my boner right now
Falcons should throw deep nonstop for the rest of the game.
Baywatch is gonna be so fucking bad
Baywatch movie…why not?
Its amazing to see just how fucking bad US films are compared to US TV shows.
Holy shit. That Baywatch cast is sexy AF
http://68.media.tumblr.com/c1a3a75631ac691949be4937bf837569/tumblr_okulr4XWeg1vfkrjmo1_400.gif
Scratch that entropy. Gostkowski’s the one getting sent to Cleveland.
Both of them so far.
NAWT FAAAIR
The Patriots in desperation mode/ at another team’s mercy. Fucking beautiful.