Your “Death & Darkness Are Rushing Forward” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Luckily, there’s still The Darkness.

NFL Notes:

  • Julian Edelman & the Patriots have agreed on a contract extension. Otherwise, this was the final year of his four-year deal signed in 2014.
    • Also, no one smaller than him is a free agent, so Belichick had no choice – other than scouring the Ringling Brothers unemployment line.
  • Speaking of all things dark & evil, here’s Grumblelord on why the Patriots didn’t submit any rule changes to the committee this year:
    • “We love the rules the way they are,” Belichick told reporters. “Yeah, we don’t want to change them.”
  • Nick Fairley really wants to keep playing, because he’s trying to find a third opinion on his heart condition. It’s probably the four-year, $28 million contract he signed this offseason driving him.
    • “He’s gotten two professional opinions,” Sean Payton said. “The first one was one that advised that he shouldn’t play football again. The second opinion was a little different,”
    • Let’s hope it turns out better for him than Chris Bosh.
  • AP says he wants to keep playing until he’s 37 or 38.
    • Which is easy if you go one-on, one-off like he’s been doing.
    • I’m sure his kids won’t miss him.

Oh Cthulhu, between the Comey hearings and the UK election (bigger news in Canada), there’s little salve in sports today. You’d think teams would release their bad news so it would get buried. Why must this garbage happen during final-round playoffs and/or baseball season?!

Soon…

I don’t know what to make of the Comey hearings. I grew up during the Cold War, so I was raised on Red-bashing, espionage investigations, and the Cold War. The quickest end to a political career in that era was the merest hint of Soviet influence – especially calling someone a “Commie”. It boggles my mind that doddering old men like Mitch McConnell & John McCain would put any faith in anyone who had admitted Russian ties.

By all rights, and not for circumstances, it should be “President Biden” right now, and Chevy would have a $2 trillion loan to make an electric Camaro.

Also, CANADA HOCKEY 1972 RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry; got wrapped up in the nationalism for a second.

The UK election is a strange thing, because it’s happening as a result of Brexit, and in the face of the recent bombings. Here are your two main leaders, Jeremy Corbyn & Teresa May

Corbyn is the last of the old Labour hard-socialists, and basically wants to re-nationalize everything Thatcher & Major sold off. Teresa May is a hardcore Brexiteer who sees herself as Maggie 2.0 and wants a majority before going into departure negotiations, so no one will try to argue there’s one year left in her term, so the next PM should appoint the Supreme Court judge finish negotiations. Either way, it seems like a choice between a kick in the balls or a punch in the balls.

Interest will come from the influence of regional parties like SNP & Plaid Cymru, and if the UKIP can carry their Brexit momentum forward now that former leader & future Fox News gasbag Nigel Farage is off the scene. Exit polls prior to putting this article to bed give the Conservatives a probable minority government, so it looks like the Pound is dropping before my trip in July!

Most results should be known by about 8:00AM Eastern, but enough of a pattern will develop before bedtime that Canadian news will begin its requisite navel-gazing and questioning of our traditional links to the motherland.

I’ve got three bottle of Crown Royal on the shelf, and I might need all of them tonight.

      


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Game 5: Predators at Penguins – 8:00PM | NBC / CBC
  • CFL:
    • Pre-Season: Tiger-Cats at Redblacks – 7:30PM| TSN3
  •  MLB:
    • Red Sox at Yankees – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Orioles at Nationals – 7:00PM | Sportsnet360
  • Futbol:
    • CONCACAF 2018 World Cup Qualifying Soccer:
      • U.S. vs. Trinidad and Tobago – 8:00PM | FS1
      • Mexico vs. Honduras – 10:00PM | FS1

If you listen to fools,

THE MOB RULES!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Did everybody go out and get jobs or something?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I had to take my wife to the airport. I’m back, though, and I’ll be making up for my absence in due time.

King Hippo

Looks like another European right-winger enjoyed the fruits of the American Fuhrer’s presence on the scene…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

I heard today “Saints running back Adrian Peterson”
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ice Steelers vs. Ice Titans score is more credible as a Regular Steelers vs. Regular Titans score.

Brick Meathook

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herodotus450

Classic Todd

Horatio Cornblower

O/U on the Mexican National Team spiking Pulisic is 5:32. I will take the under.

Senor Weaselo

That’s 5.32 seconds, right?

herodotus450

Would love to see Crosby suspended for that bottle toss, but it did look a little like he just lost his grip on it (heh, grip on it). And isn’t that even more embarrassing, that he can’t even hold onto a bottle?

Gratliff

*turns on hockey*
*turns off hockey*

herodotus450

Nashville should’ve just forfeit this game and stayed home waiting for game 6

Mr. Ayo

It’s not even halftime yet. Plenty of time for flying catfishes.

Horatio Cornblower

Send in the goons to kick Crosby in the head a few dozen times.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsUuhW7WbIg

Unsurprised

For that special touch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Tits

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
herodotus450

Isn’t England ahead of us in time? Why don’t they have all the results in yet? Don’t they have 5% of precincts reporting? Do they need to borrow one of our cable news networks?

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

Gateway? I figured Romonobyl for a Dell guy.

Anyway, I’m drinking again.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Oh right, Crosby DOESN’T get special treatment

herodotus450

Only thing Subban was holding was the ice. Still, trading anyone for Crosby for a 4 on 4 is a win for nashville

herodotus450

Or not.

scotchnaut

“Don’t put words in my mouth about Logan.”

-11

scotchnaut

“Logan” doesn’t suck.

/more at 11

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Watching “Fury”. I’m surprised Germany lost WW2. According to the movie, they had disruptors.

King Hippo

fuck it, time for Fargo on the DVR

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

props to herodotus450

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Beastmode Ate My Baby

Also, bewbs for da Moose. NSWF, obviously.

h
ttp://zombotronic.deviantart.com/art/Joan-On-The-Beach-684727996

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Does this count as tribbing?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You made that? Very nice! Captures that idea perfectly.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Thanks!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

HRTN is done! WOO! Take that, stupid allergies & skipping heartbeat!

King Hippo

tell ur heart to stop being such a snowflake ,, smh

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Seriously. It’s just trying to get attention. I mean, really.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Will need advil.

Senor Weaselo

So since all three TVs at this Wing Stop has USA-TNT, I’m taking a guess that the US will dominate possession and then lose on an 87th minute moment of doing a dumb.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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herodotus450

Pretty sure I’m a better skater than most of those canucks.
/never skated in my life

Brick Meathook

Did you post the “Achewood” link about poker the other day?

Senor Weaselo

I have to ask, “What did he expect to happen?”

herodotus450
Brick Meathook

That is the greatest thing ever. My mind has been blown. I can’t believe I never saw it before.

herodotus450

I like to think of it as The Wire of webcomics; except it has been around longer than the wire.

herodotus450
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people. When I am emperor, clapping on 1 and 3 will be punishable by death. Or the Dementor’s Kiss if that’s a thing by then.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

So you’d prefer to have the clap in your 2.
Got it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Was searching for ‘pussy tentacle porn’ (for Balls).

http://www.ohmagif.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/cat-eating-octopus-epic-fail.gif

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s awesome.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
herodotus450

The bunny hop worked!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

CNN is reported what Comey said in a classified hearing.

Son-of-a-bitch, that comed-forward bastard may have a point about the US Gov’t leaking like a sieve.

Unsurprised

This is the most normal part of the whole kerfuffle.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

So, I think I shouldn’t drink anymore. I turn into an idiot, and it’s getting harder to clean up the messes.

Redshirt

On the contrary, that’s the first symptom of Alcohol Deficiency. I prescribe more alcohol.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is it really your fault if you don’t remember?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Mmm. Pizza.

Redshirt

You’re hogging the pizza? Fine. You take away the pizza, I’LL TAKE AWAY YOUR APPETITE!

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Unsurprised

You monster.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I think she has other issues.

Shogun Marcus

Poor knife skills, 2/10 would not anger.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I’ve known Heinrich for years. I can’t quite remember if my mother introduced him to his wife, but I first met him before he was even a city councilor. He’s a good man, and liberal, but no leader.
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Redshirt

MFW I read that Marco Rubio, my choice for President, defended Trump and attached Comey.

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Well fuck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
jjfozz

I would like to see Edelman eaten alive by wolverines

Senor Weaselo

I think that was the first of the sixteen Colossi he had to kill.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Hee hee….this is awesome.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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