NFL News:
- In a harbinger of what this season might look like, Alex Smith’s agent is already talking about where he might end up next year.
- “Alex is the present, and as good a football player as he is, he’s going to have opportunities whether it’s in Kansas City or someplace else.”
- The Seahawks are going to pay Justin Britt…$9 million a season?
- They do know Russell is getting killed on the outside, right?
- Well, what Russell wants, Russell gets I s’pose.
- Since they are never going to play in the Super Bowl, the Browns figure hosting the draft is a much-more attainable option. So, they have applied to host it in 2019 or 2020.
- Laughably, they’ve added the Hall of Fame to the bid as a site in order to make “Cleveland” seem attractive.
- It’s getting ugly between the League & the NFLPA over the Ezekiel Elliott appeal.
- The League is threatening the union over alleged “victim (“slut”) shaming” in advance of the appeal of Zeke’s suspension.
- The NFLPA is threatening a slander & defamation suit over the allegations.
- PFT, meanwhile, is trying to tie the Josh Brown domestic violence suspension into all this. Why?
- The League originally suspended him six games, but reduced it prior to appeal based on “mitigating factors”.
- Harold Henderson, the arbiter, also was the arbitrator during the Gordon appeal.
- The League is threatening the union over alleged “victim (“slut”) shaming” in advance of the appeal of Zeke’s suspension.
Now, last night, I previewed (quite well, mind you) the wrong game. So I rechecked the schedule on the nfl.com website. Have a gander at this:
They highlight the Bills – Eagles, yet if you squint, the actually-broadcast game will be the Bucs – Jags. So, some quality fan service by the folks at nfl.com.
Game preview: Bucs at Jags.
Oh man, is this shit sad. Both SB Nation sites read like first drafts of suicide notes.
Tampa’s issues are playing out on “Hard Knocks”, and while I refuse to shell out for HBO Canada – “HBO Canada: we call ourselves HBO, but don’t carry all of the programs. Canada!” – I can watch clips on nfl.com and Youtube, and boy is that awkward. Seeing Roberto Aguayo waiting to get axed was awful; it’s like knowing you’re going to get dumped by the best girl you’ll ever get, and dreading each ring of the phone. Their SBNation site – Bucs Nation – has the analysis from a “you poor bastard” perspective. But don’t fear, they also have analysis of how management has gotten them to this point, and how they have a star QB but nothing else to go with it. If an NFL website is all kicker all the time, that’s not good.
The Jags website – Big Cat Country – has clearly given up on the Blake Bortles experiment:
- 6 quarterback options to replace Blake Bortles
- shockingly, their lead choice is Colin Kaepernick
- Doug Marrone on Blake Bortles: “Some good throws and some horsesh*t throws”
- Allen Robinson after Blake Bortles pass: “F***ing keep that s**t in bounds, bro!”
To sum up both teams, here’s video of a fight at their joint practice, courtesy Pewter Report:
Former #Buc Arrelius Benn getting into it with #Bucs LB Ardarius Glanton. Teams had to be separated. Third scuffle of the day. pic.twitter.com/wMhHilU37C
— PewterReport 🏴☠️ (@PewterReport) August 15, 2017
Otherwise, ESPN has you covered, since they’re broadcasting the game.
Tonight’s sports:
- Football:
- NFL:
- Bucs at Jags – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- CFL:
- Eskimos at Blue Bombers – 8:30PM | TSN
- NFL:
- Baseball:
- Little League World Series:
- Southwest vs. Great Lakes – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- MLB:
- Yankees at Mets – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Little League World Series:
kd lang was excellent last night. Voice still has all the power. I recommend all Canadians take a ladyfriend to the show, as she will thank you for it. Plus, you might get an added attraction we got – DRUNKEN LESBIAN BRAWL!
Pre-season FOOTBAW – where on the same drive, Chad Fucking Henne can be mad at THREE different people FOAR being shittier professional footballers than he is.
/please don’t take this sweet methadone nectar from me
I am soooooo upset I missed the first quarter-plus of this North-Central Florida gonorrhea-fest.
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2017/08/17/your-second-verse-same-as-the-first-thursday-evening-open-thread/#comment-374082
I just sat down in a bar in San Pedro and there’s a football game on!
Wait, it says “ESPN MNF” in the corner. Today is Thursday. Is this a repeat? I thought it was Bills-Eagles . . .
Wait, who’s that announcer in the booth with Gruden? That guy isn’t the regular guy. Wait, who was the regular guy?
All this and the sound is muted.
http://blog.top250.fr/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/simpson-reference-reservoir-dogs-2.gif
Well sheeeit, might as well be this one.
http://oi62.tinypic.com/2wn64x4.jpg
Uh … Probably not
You know the best thing though about the Civil War…most of the people back then were just savages with the pen.
The best has to be that crazy bastard Sherman. His lines are just fucking brilliant.
“I think I understand what military fame is; to be killed on the field of battle and have your name misspelled in the newspapers.”
“Grant stood by me when I was crazy, and I stood by him when he was drunk, and now we stand by each other.”
His letter to the leaders of Atlanta is just brutal. I cannot imagine the abject terror he must have caused when they read it.
I liked how he essentially phrased it. “When this is over I’ll help you rebuilt, but this is war, so prepare your anus, my cavalry’s coming in hot!”
“You’re going to fuck over the nation BAD in a future Superb Owl, so you’ns deserves what’s you gonna gets.”
Is this the death of Quotables.
I’m waiting for a GIF of the sun total eclipsing with the caption “FUCK THIS SHIT I’M OUT”
Gruden is having none of this shit.
I know local radio jock sniffers are fucking terrible all over but Denver’s DMac and Alfred Williams have GOT to be near Boston and NY level dipshitery.
Back in High School I watched a lot of wrestling back int he hey day of WCW /NWO days… and it ruined sports for me for a while because I would expect someone from the sidelines to just run out onto the field with a steel chair… or like a player get the ball and then run the wrong way and rip off his jersey to show he was really playing for the other team the whole time….
What I am saying is I think I know how we can fix preseason football.
XFL!!!!
Every time I’ve seen Tom Sizemore in a thing for the past 15 years, my first thought is “I thought he was in jail”
You want to talk about a frustrating dude. So much fucking talent and he can’t just get clean. He gets plenty of chances. Its like if Robert Downey Jr never got clean.
So does anyone else here go to R/Conspiracy sometimes to watch the Russian bots and the_donald fight with people everytime something bad about Trump come up?
Oh God. Something I ate tried to kill me.
like before or after you ate it? Like did you have some wild boar bacon? or some under cooked chicken?
After. That’s why I was away for so long.
…Is it your gallbladder?
PER-SEAGON FLORTBAWLL! WOO!!
Gruden is BURYING Bortles..
that’s what happens when you don’t go into a dark room with a drunk ex-coach to “watch tape”
Me watching a Jaguars/Bucs preseason game just because I miss football.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBWI0qQWZyo
Damn liberal Jew media teaching our kids to be Islamic suicide bombers!
Read more at inforwars.com
infowars.com… pfft that’s just controlled opposition from failed comedian turned CIA informant Bill Hicks
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/d7evqv/digging-deep-into-the-only-conspiracy-alex-jones-doesnt-like
Time to get caught up on the new Twin Peaks. Only 10 episodes behind. Should be perfectly understandable content.
Holy fuck why am I watching this game of canned tuna vs. flying rats
Because we’re all masochists?
Hey, you’re free to go march around the neighborhood with a tiki torch if it makes you feel like you’re doing something more constructive.
Who will be more pleased by evening’s end, BLEERGH or SHAN’KLOR?
Why do the Dolphins have a white quarter back named “fail” who has a massive Māori arm piece? Isn’t he from Southern California?
Dude should go all the way and get some gold fronts and some dreads.
I forgot the guesstimate the number of times Gruden would use “grit” and “toughness” tonight.
Who will score more points tonight:
A)Yankees
B) Dolphins.
Both currently sitting at 7
Dolphins because the Yankees only scores runs.
Dirt Bengals got 11 this afternoon. That might top the day.
I know. Brennaman was besides himself in shock.
Oh, shit. Kent from Veep is coaching in Miami now!?
Beats working for Jonad
Yep.
If you’re wondering and/or want to play along at home, I’m getting the videos off @NFL
“Gets off a beauty”…and the punt ends up behind the fucking Dolphins bench.
Whoever is doing the broadcast for the Dolphins should be barred from TV.
And sweet fucking Jesus are the refs in the game drunk?!?
How do they not blow the whistle?
1. Yes
2. See Question 1.
Is it Jay Cutler? Did he have like a Conan contract where, even after everyone knew he was leaving, he still had to work for a month?
SHITFUCK! Wrong team.
AHAHAHA! BLOCKED!
That Raven’s touchdown looked like fucking something from a beer league.
What the fuck were the Dolphins doing?!?
https://gfycat.com/unsurprised/quotables_2017_preseason_week_2
Preseason FGkakke makes me happy I don’t ever care about preseason football
Fake. Ketchup’s squeeze bottle should be bigger.
what kind of monster puts ketchup on a hotdog?
Miami Derp-fins!
Two penalties and they still give up a blocked punt!
And the Ravens will still fuck this up.
For plays and I’m already dying of boredom.
Hey Ballsy, I’ll have you know that los Yankees do the finger guns after hits.
/Yay Sevy’s first career hit
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/16/us/robert-e-lees-grandson-comments-on-statue-removal/index.html
The descendants of Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson and Jefferson Davis has said the Confederate statues need to come down. Even Robert E. Lee himself didn’t want the statues in the first place because it would prevent the nation from healing.
Alright, that should settle that. Lets breakout the bubble wrap and call some movers to move these to History Museums where they belong or maybe melted down to make some nice playground equipment. Put away the rope and Pickup Truck, Blood Thirty Mob. Thanks for volunteering, but we gave you a chance and you bent that statue like crazy.
Hey look, a reasonable Republican!
You’re probably not welcome in the party anymore.
I was shown the door when I questioned why Bush 43 was moving on to Saddam when Osama was chilling in the hills of Pakistan.
It was cuz FREEDOM, right?
Close. It was “You don’t want the terrorists to win, right?”
Why don’t these Nazi’s just put them on their own private property? Shit – you could probably get them for the cost of scrap if you agree to take them down and transport them.
You know they’ll put them in the front yard next to the road. Right next to the rusted out car on blocks.
Which is their right! Like, they’re bitching that it isn’t being left in a public park! I mean, if the park puts in a splash pad and so a tree has to be moved, I’m sure there’s someone who takes the tree*.
(*I mean here — not in places where you have a lot of trees and trees are like no big deal).
Just send them all to Mississippi. Everyone wins.
Of note (if Trump someone lasts this long): March is the annual reenactment of the Battle of Picacho Peak — an about 25 person skirmish where the union boys stumbled upon some confederate boys and some shots were fired — which is considered the westernmost battle of the Civil War (there was some ‘shit’ in CA but I guess it wasn’t formal enough).
Well, in recent years the reenactment has gotten comically large (relative to the actual event) and this is typically credited to that fact that it’s like the only civil war reenactment for hundreds of miles and, since nothing of consequence really went down, it’s almost like a generic Civil War reenactment for people to go play at.
Anyways — wait until the Alt-Nazis (or whatever you call them) realize they’re still allowed to congregate for Civil War reenactments….
I had a friend in highschool who did some WWII re-enacting, and was a German because someone needed to be on the other side. He quit after 1 re-enactment because the people he was with took it a little too seriously.
Boy howdy, that’s a hobby group I just don’t fucking understand.
There was a kid that worked for me in the navy from Alabama. The dude was an INSANE history buff. He got out and later worked his way all the way to a PhD in American History. He can talk your ear off on the ins and outs of the entire period.
He has this great line about slavery and the Civil War.
“People that know barely anything about the Civil War era, think the war was about slavery.
People that have read a bit, think its much more nuanced and that slavery was just a small part of an overall issue between the North and the South.
People that are actual experts about the period leading up to the war, the war itself, and the post war era…know the war was just about slavery.”
Of course it was. Fuck the SSA – giving other human beings freedom was the greatest entitlement ever. And you know how Americans get when you try to cut back on entitlements…..
Civil War wasn’t about slavery; it was about the state’s rights versus the rights imposed by the nation. It just turns out one of these rights was slavery.
That’s like saying “I’m not watching porn, honey. I’m watching the monitor. Which is coincidently showing a midget being spanked by a woman dressed as a hunter.”
It was about economics. Specifically, the economics of a society built on slave labor.
It’s always about economics. Rising tide/all ships, et al.
Which is why battling this (sadly, my) generation of racists is going to be so challenging; these men have no home. They’ve been ‘left behind’ and are never catching up. Even the South has pockets of relatively-progressive populations and, again on the economy angle, the rest of the nation isn’t going to let them go full Alt-Right even in their own backyards because we’ll boycott for shit like bathroom bills or HB-1070. They walk among us but we’re looking to nab them on any misbehavior they perform moving forward (kind of like how the police treat blacks — but the Alt-Right won’t have to worry about being arrested, just internet/mob justice).
Until the US economy bubbles up and these cucks can find meaningful well-paying employment, you ain’t trying to stop these hicks, you’re just trying to contain them.
I hate to go Full Republican on you, but if you take away their welfare and force these hicks to get jobs, they won’t have time to go to KKK, skinhead circle jerk meetings.
I believe you mean rolling tide
Claiming the Civil War wasnt about slavery is like claiming that it’s the nutmeg and cinnamon that makes a pie an apple pie.
…somebody say nutmeg?
Californian’s aren’t the biggest fans of paperwork.. unless there’s a payoff.
https://gfycat.com/TiredSandyBaboon
You know…the whole “Ray Lewis got away with murder” thing annoys the shit out of me. Its basically white folks ignoring the reality of how black people are treated in this country.
I’m suppose to believe that a DA in Atlanta could not five 12 white people to send him up if he actually had the evidence to bring it to trial?
And the whole “Obstruction of Justice” crap pisses me off. Let me ask everyone here…if you are in a bar or a night club and a fight breaks out, do the cops single you out and expect you to know the birth names and addresses of every white person there? I point this out because every time it has happened to me, I am supposedly suppose to know the background of every brother within a 25 mile radius. Its the whole reason I don’t go to black bars and night clubs anymore. If there is any problems, the cops just naturally target anyone that is black.
Think about it. You are out with a few buddies from work and something happens. Are you able to recite your entire crew’s names, birthdays, addresses, and known associates? If you are black, you are expected to do that or else you are going to spend the night in a lockup. This shit used to happen to me in Baltimore all the fucking time.
I don’t like the guy. I think he is an idiot. His fake Christian shit is annoying, along with this mindless pontificating on everything. But just the idea that he would be able to get away with a double homicide in the fucking south…come the fuck on. What are people basing this on?!?
And before anyone mentions OJ…the dude spent the GDP of a small country to formulate a dream team squad, he had a post football career of being a likable, personable guy, and he barely pulled it off in LA. And LA ain’t the South.
Dude – we elected Obama. I can’t believe people are still talking about race!
(I don’t mean this.)
Yeah, but…
(takes on the most difficult task of my day)
(makes Trader Joe’s shopping list)
(guiltily adds nice Pinot to the list)
I don’t have anything to add here.
Honestly, I don’t really care if Lewis killed someone, it’s just another fun narrative within the NFL. Like….uh……well…..uh…..well, like if anyone in the NFL just did something fun and it was spontaneous and the fans liked it! It’d be just like that!
You’ll have to take my Rae Carruth jokes away from my cold dead hand.
I’m all for ripping on fanbases and shit. Hell, I call him “Stabby” as much as anyone else. There is a segment of folks though that honestly fucking believe middle linebacker in the NFL makes enough money that he could commit a double murder and get away with it in the South.
Oh and fuck Rae Carruth.
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/national/article109637187.html
And the Panthers. Read the article. Granted, they aren’t required to do anything, but you know…they could have tried and helped this kid out.
Jesus. Thanks for the link. Kid deserves, I dunno, everything.
Carruth crippled his own son…and never bothered to ever even contact the kid.
What the living fuck?
I guess it’s the same mentality that thinks bullets are good birth control.
JSD…
I don’t know if you’ll see this or not. But eventually you will…because I’ll keep saying it. Trust me, I can outlast you on this.
I love you, Dude. Sincerely. I enjoy interacting with you. But your overt racism, singling out one race of people to direct your hate…well, it’s not gone unnoticed. And I don’t mean only by me.
And I get that I’ve gone after you about it pretty hard on more than one occasion. There is a reason for that. Several, actually. And I also get that now you’re butthurt about it and you want to try to bait me. Totally normal. I get that even if no one else does. If you want to continue to bait me, or try to, please feel free.
But one way or another, the racism has to stop. At least on this site. And one way or another it is going to stop. I’d like for you to take control over it yourself because I really do enjoy you being a part of this community.
I would never presume to be able to empathize with what any person of color may or may not have experienced in racist America. But it’s time for you to become the bigger person here. All you’re doing when you do this is stoop to their levels. Is that the person you want to be?
If you have an experience, current or past, during which you felt oppressed, I would love to hear about it, discuss it, and let you vent about it. Sincerely. But there is better way to go about presenting such things. When you present things in certain ways, people stop listening.
But regardless of that, the generalizing of any race as being….well anything bad, or good too….well it’s short sighted. And you should know better.
We’re all human beings. Some of us suck. Some of us don’t. Generalizing about what you believe to be the traits of a whole race of people helps no one. And it’s also stupid and hateful, regardless of what race they are. Or what race you are. (Read that last paragraph again please)
Rise above it, my friend. Or at least try.
Still love ya, and am always here to listen. Sincerely. But as I said, one way or another this PATTERN of blatant racism is going to stop.
Ryan Mallett is bad at footed ball
Anybody else disappointed the whole fucking roster didn’t do something Kaepernick-esque in recognition of this past week’s horribleness?
Well, I offered thoughts and prayers to the Barcelona people today, so
/leans back contentedly
that’s been fixed.
/falls out of chair
I fell out of a chair the other night. My elbow still fucking hurts. So glad I didn’t shatter that fucker.
#elbowstrong
Jay Cutler is in mid-season “don’t give a shit” form.
In all seriousness though, why on earth would he come back? Gambling debts?
Crippling catnip addiction?
Crippling family medical debts due to antivax stance?
The family’s bubble budget must be through the roof.
News from Phoenix: #UPDATE: Jefferson Davis Memorial Highway monument tarred and feathered near Gold Canyon.
Can we assume blax has been huffing paint thinner again?
The territories that are present-day Arizona, while not part of the main front of the Civil War (that’s the Appalachia-ass east coaster who can’t stop killin’ each other), were Confederate-friendly as the CSA actually sent some troops to the area to protect the settlements from the indians. This was the opposite of the union who — and stop me if you heard this one before — promised to the help the people of the west in many ways (defense, economics, statehood [see ‘Battle Born’ Nevada]) but then actually didn’t come through on any of those promises. But promises were a smart tactic to help protect their routes to the Pacific via CA.
It took decades after the war (now that the union had their monopoly on governance back) for the USA to, again, consider statehood for AZ (along with New Mexico and Oklahoma) and, after fighting the proposal to make AZ+NM enter as a single state, AZ finally received statehood in 1912.
Point is, the Confederacy probably wasn’t the way to go but that doesn’t mean the US federal government ever has, or ever will, give two shits about any of the population west of St Louis (CA/TX excluded — which is about where all that population resides).
Oh, there are many layers as to why New Mexico didn’t become a state in the 1840s-50s and took until 1912 to be admitted.
Taft finally decided not to eat it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3jYO0TKcm4
Hey – we could get rid of NM tomorrow and not miss a beat.
Also, in response to the 99% of Patriots fans are Nazis comment from the Falcons preview:
https://giant.gfycat.com/HugeInfatuatedDarwinsfox.webm
They misspelled Virgin.
Good point.
I didn’t see that anyone had mentioned this, but I saw last night that the Football Clippers were offering free team tattoos on Tuesday for anyone stupid enough to get one: https://www.boltsfromtheblue.com/2017/8/15/16151930/los-angeles-chargers-are-paying-free-tattoos-today
Desperate much?
Credit to SBNation for this fantastic Low Commander-eque ‘shop.
Dude looks like he’s riding a Cleansweep Eleven.
3rd and 27 for the Dolphins. Ain’t preseason football grand?
This drunken lesbian brawl. Do go on.
You had me at “drunken,” and it only got better!
Did they start making out after some light hair pulling and nipple pinching? brb
Aboriginal lady in a cowboy hat, double fisting…beers.
Lady in front of her during intermission, “Okay, the shows about to start. Maybe you could shut up during the act we paid to see?!”
“I paid for my seat. I can do wha-” WHAM! The other lady’s five fingers said something to the face.
Aboriginal lady’s “friend” then got up to two-on-one the issue.
Lady in front’s “personal trainer” then stood up.
Each one got a couple of slaps in before security trundled over, broke it up, and escorted everyone away.
Tears from the ones who didn’t start it, because they were going to miss the show.
I enjoyed the sneering looks from lesbians who definitely wouldn’t let their woman pull shit like that.
Turned out a lot of softball teams had their year-end function at that concert.