A young man hesitantly ventures up a dilapidated and creaky set of stairs, and approaches the front door of an equally dilapidated house in the middle of nowhere.  As he gets closer, he can hear the sounds of raucous laughter and music inside.  He takes out a small piece of paper from his pocket, double checks the address, takes a deep breath and knocks.  The sounds inside suddenly stop and silence ensues.  After a moment he hears the sounds of a series of deadbolts being disengaged…

After another moment…

[Door Flies Open]

tWBS sticks his head out and speaks.

tWBS:  Hey there.  How ya doin’?  Wanna come in?

New Guy:  Well I’m not sure if…

tWBS grabs the New Guy by the shirt collar and yanks him inside, then relocks the door.

–

The New Guy stands there dumbfounded for a moment and then he begins to look around the room.  He notices that the only sounds in the room now are the multiple TeeVee boxes on the walls, each tuned to a different sporting event.  But no one is watching them because all eyes are on the New Guy.

New Guy:  I’m not sure I’m in the right place…

tWBS:  So what makes you think you’re [DFO] material?

New Guy:  …because this place is a real shithole.

tWBS turns to look at the silent crowd behind him, when he turns back to the New Guy…

…while behind him…

tWBS (still giggling):  Not bad…not bad.  Let’s get you a drink and talk some.

The party resumes as tWBS leads the New Guy to the bar.

–

Hello new user(s).  Please forgive me indulging myself a little bit of fiction above.  That’ll happen from time to time.

Because [Door Flies Open] is, at its core, a sports blog with particular emphasis toward the NFL during the season, we see many new users find us during this time of the year.  We always love having new folks join in on the madness.  So….Welcome!!!!!!!

And you’re not totally wrong about the current look of the place.  Things around here are currently in transition, and some features might be unfamiliar to you.  Others may change or disappear at times.  Be patient, it will be worth it.

I’m going to try to cover a few little basics, but if there’s anything I miss, always feel free to ask in the comments.  We really won’t bite.  Unless you’re a lovely lady and want us to.  Then just tell us how hard.

Like I said…me and boundaries, etc. etc.  This is not news.  Let’s move on.

–

First, Some Guidelines For Posting

Our little family here are all good people, and have very good senses of humor.  That being said, we’re by no means PC around here, and sarcasm rules the day more often than not.

We all root for different teams (and different sports), and we regularly give each other loads of shit about it.  In fact it’s even encouraged to do so.  We like laughing at other people’s expense, even our own.  So have at it.

We never want to stifle anyone’s voice by deleting or editing comments.  We want you to say what you want to say, when you want to say it, and how you want to say it.  As long as it doesn’t become a situation where specific other commenters are being targeted/harassed personally, or it becomes problematic regarding language.  And don’t get me wrong, profanity is allowed (often encouraged).

But slurs thrown in malice/anger, especially directed at other users are not.  That’s a big no no.

And sometimes sarcasm doesn’t come thru in typed text.  So please keep that in mind.  A vast majority of the time, that will be the case.

We don’t have a lot of rules around here, and we’d like to keep it that way.  Mutual respect among members of the community goes a long way toward that end.  We really are a family here, so we can pretty much get away with saying anything to one another in jest.

Now you’re a member of the family too.  Ya poor bastard.

–

A Feature You Might Like

Behold a comment from the lovely and talented King Hippo (he’s a great guy btw, in spite of putting on the sullen bastard act)…

Not only does it capture the kind of humor we really like around here, but it illustrates a feature I wanted to bring your attention.  The bottom left of any comment has the little Thumbs Up/Thumbs down thingy.  The green thumbs up means I’ve liked this comment.  The middle number is the number of folks who have liked a comment.  And if you hover your cursor over the number, a little box type thingy opens showing you who has liked any given comment, including yours.  People seem to like this.  Enjoy it.

–

Posting Music Videos and/or Images

Posting youtube vids is simple.  Don’t mess with embed codes, they won’t work.  Just copy the raw https addy up there in your browser’s addy box as I’ve highlighted here…

…then paste it into your comment box, then hit the “Post Comment” button to post your song.  The embedded video won’t show up until you refresh the page.  But when you refresh, you’ll get this…

One more thing about posting youtube vids…if you have commentary you’d like to say about the vid, it needs to go before the youtube addy, or it won’t embed.

Images are a little more complicated.  The address to the image file must begin with https…the “s” is very important.  Without the “s” (if it’s http with no “s”), the image won’t embed into your comment…tho the addy will be visible and can still be clicked and followed.  Also, it’s been pointed out to me that if one searches images with the word “wordpress” included in the search string, it’s easier to find the “s”.  That Rikki-Tikki-Deadly is smrt, because he was right.  Also Giphy.com is a good source for the “s”.

Have I said “s” enough yet?

(https)

The images addresses also must end with .jpg, .png, or .gif.  The extension also must be all lower case (ie .JPG won’t work) for the image to embed in your comment.

If you cannot find the image you are looking for with the proper string, you would be encouraged to copy the link or save the image and upload it to PostImages.org for quick and easy use.

–

Damned Rules, We Hate ’em But We Have Some

We post a lot of suggestive photos around here, but we do have some rules about image posting.  As I said, we don’t like rules around here, but here we kinda gotta…

Exposed genitalia is not permitted.

Overly graphic sex acts are not permitted.

Female nipples are frowned upon, but some leeway is granted if mostly obscured by clothing.

If you feel the need to “link” a NSFW image, please do it as follows…

Initial link….

https://www.youreatotalperv.kom/youre_all_going_to_hell.jpg

Can be changed to…

h

ttps://www.youreatotalperv.kom/youre_all_going_to_hell.jpg

ie, split the “h” off with a simple hit of the enter key before posting.  It won’t embed and anyone interested can follow it if they’d care to.  Also, do please mark it as “NSFW” so there’s no mistake.

–

So What Else?

Hell I dunno.  Just use good sense, be funny and inappropriate (we like that), and respect others.  It’s not difficult around here.  But it is sometimes very weird.

But in a good way…

(shut up guys, you’re gonna scare him off)

In all sincerity, welcome to [DFO].  We’re happy to have you.  Feel free to ask anyone anything.  Well, almost anything (shut up Low Commander…I was drunk and you were asking for it).

Just kidding.

Now jump in there in the comments and talk to us…

–

If you’re a little more the shy type, but still have a question, feel free to drop me a line.

[email protected]

If I don’t know the answer I’ll find someone who does.

But please…no questions about “butt stuff”.

/ballsofsteelandfury deletes unsent email