It’s with a heavy and angry heart that I write this. As I noted on NSNO.co.uk, the creatures that live under rocks have won. It is not enough for them to have Brexit and Trump, no. They had to come for my Everton, too. I can not, and will not support a known corrupt, anti-footballing, backwards, self-promoting asshole in the manager’s chair. One who burns down the foundation of every club he manages – setting up the next manager to take the drop – who will surely ruin the only positives that exist in the form of Everton’s youth system and young offensive prospects. And if Everton is dead to me, so is Lesser Footy in general. Until it is time to pick up the pieces left in Fat Sam’s giant, fetid wake. I thank Balls, Litre, and perhaps others for filling in for me (in the coming weeks) on this beat.
Chelsea get the Barcodes this Saturday early (7:30, NBCSN), followed by a meh 10:00 window highlighted by Brighton & Hove v. Redshite (NBCSN). I would be reading even if I weren’t boycotting. The Moose Hornets take on Spurs over on CNBC and yeah, ok, that’s pretty interesting. Fuck the rest of it.
Arsenal and Man U are the big NBC 12:30 spotlight dance, giving us a chance to see just how resurrected the Gooners are. After all, the race for 2nd is all the tracing they is.
NBCSN’s Sunday no-funday doubleheader is Bournemouth/Soton (8:30) followed by City making some god-awful form of meat pie out of West Ham (11:00). YMMV.
On to the fun shit, conference championships galore!
Memphis at Central Florida, AAC (Noon, ABC)
Last week’s Directional Florida fixture was bananacakes, and one wonders if maybe the Knights will still be a bit hungover from that. In any event, this will be a scoring fest, and worthy of channel flipping at least.
TCU v. Oklahoma, Big 12-ish (12:30, Fox)
The first time these sides played, Boomer Sooner prevailed easily. But that was at home. However, the Okies are on even more of a roll now, arguably playing better than any non-Aubie side around. But Bloodeyes is never who you want to play with your playoff life on the line. That’s waaaaayyyy too many caveats, and I’m still happy to hold a ticket on OU -4.5.
Georgia v. Auburn, SEEEEECCCCC, PAWWWWWLLLL (4:00, CBS)
Everybody seems to have forgotten about UGA (myself included), which makes me a bit nervous. They were considered the best side in the land most of the year, but Auburn is just an awful matchup for them. The Dawgs don’t pass that well, or often. And Aubie is just physical as fuck, as we all saw in the Iron Bowl last week. As stated above, easily the hottest side in all the JV landscape.
Fresno State at Boise State, MWC (7:45, ESPN)
Fresh off the dry run last week, these two will go at it once again. One wonders why they didn’t stagger the time for a tweaker fixture?
Miami v. Clemson, ACC (8:00, ABC)
I always suspected Da U was gonna shit itself at some point, so glad they did so last week v. Pitt to get it out of the way. Perhaps Team Jeebus Camp will be overconfident and get its hat handed to them. I sure hope so.
Ohio State v. Wisconsin, B1G (8:00, Fox)
Finally, Bucky Badger will have its national “shit or get off the pot” moment. Win, and they’re in. tOSU is a bit up and down, and not sure they have enough to take them out, without their absolute A game (which they bring maybe once in four).
Best Salad Ever? Egg
/come at me
If done well, Potato every day and twice on Sundays.
[shakes head]
“YOU ARE A JELLO! What do you know about salads?
“YOU TAKE THAT BACK!”
Watch Georgia end up as a 5 tomorrow.
SEC Champ not make it in? The reaction to that would make Sherman’s march to the sea look like a nature hike.
The initial rankings made me think the not-Condi committee was playing the dumb game of “when did you lose” bank line moves. But if they watch games at all, some combo of Okie/UGA has to be 1/2. Just has to be.
I think if DABO DABO DABO does their jerb, they won’t lose the 1 seed, Da U wins then it’s Boomer Sooner or UGa like you said.
they should, though. Unfathomable they had it in the first place. I will pull for Canes regardless.
That’s an awful lot of red in Megatron’s butthole tonight.
He had his mew-maw’s beet stew last night.
If tOSU gets in with 2 losses over Bama on the strength of beating fucking WISCONSIN, they will be right to flip their shit.
Imagine it will be:
1) Oklahoma
2) Georgia
3) Clemson/Miami
4) Wiscy/Roll Damn Tide
Bama over Auburn?
Does the regular season mean nothing PAAWWWLL?
It was AT Auburn and Aubie done lost 3 times. A 2-loss Aubie side would still have good argument even with today’s turd.
UGA also lose (heavily) at Auburn, which is Bama’s best argument that they could have done the same as Georgia did. And played in the much tougher division.
I agree. Just waiting to hear Barkley’s reaction if that does happen.
This is why I’m hoping for a Buckeye Blowout Win.
Come on the Ohio State bandwagon for a game. Piss off Alabama.
Aubie seems to have shot its wad in the Iron Bowl.
War Eagle?
Damn.
This means we can go back to forgetting about the entire state of Alabama for a while, right?
/remembers Roy Moore’s Senate campaign
DAMN IT
Welp, thanks for keeping Bama out of the playoffs, Aubie, now go get your shine box.
Bama will sneak in if Wisconsin slips up.
You’re right, but still go fuck yourself.
/jus’kiddin
Maybe if I stretch first and… oh joking okay.
TV: “Ohio State has a chance if they win.”
Me: “Yeah, a snowball’s chance in Hell.”
TV: “That’s still a chance!”
“There’s a chance of a snowball with Clay”
-A.A. Rod
This Chubb is one hard runner, really just pounding it in the hole over and over…
Ohhhhh Chick Fil A….How I love you so.
HAWT TAEK ALART: Chik-Fil-A blows.
Never been. Guess I’m not missing out.
Wouldn’t know. They haven’t ventured this north.
Went to the one in the city. It was okay. Not an epiphany.
All yinz are “missing” is mediocre chicken that’s ridiculously overpriced, served in a place that has a weird cult-like feel.
You know how they feel about that.
But you’re not wrong.
If I’m on the road, it makes a good change from the usual fast-food burger joints.
Hippo! Antonio Brown gon’ play? Martavis might be worth a shot if no.
/ gulps
HOLY SHIT PLEASE!!! Divisional showdown match is against Antonio Brown-led side.
/expect Brown will play
Wheels coming off the Auburn?
Looks like it
We are literally the Whos in Whoville now. We’re decorating our $35 tree, eating pasta and sauce and meatballs, my cat (who delivered us a wonderful mouse) is cleaning herself curled up on my sweatpanted crotch. The dog has had some leftover turkey. Our rent is paid. Our cars are street legal. My son has a wonderful kindergarten teacher. And it’s 68 F in the house. Take all the tax money you want, motherfuckers. We’re piled on top of each other like a litter of puppies.
NOPE, Aubie ded
So much for the extended Commander family team.
So things are lively in Vegas. Dok is off playing poker and probably raking in cash, while tWBS and I are enjoying a sports bar with many libations and everything on.
Room is pretty divided, so making for a good experience.
Mr. Right is inbound shortly, and that’s when the party gets going.
I’m so happy you were able to find your true love. Dreams CAN come true!
Sunday Gravy might have more than one meaning this week…
*mental note…do NAWT eat any glazed doughnuts from lcss or twbs…
Mr. Right is alright though.
OPI redux?
awwwwww, poop
EVERY ad is Shitsmas. I am Grinchier than usual this year.
I really like these 2 announcers for this SEC champ game.
in my view, the best tandem (Gus Johnson still the best individual)
Nessler is great, but Danielson can eat a big bag of plague
Showoff.
14-13, the dream of a payout is alive (faintly)
If any of you guys’ car ever breaks down on Rt. 81 in Northern VA, the good news is, once I come pick you up, I can have homemade spaghetti & meatballs & sausage on the table for you in less than 90 minutes. You’ll be like Bruno Kirby in Godfather 2, guaranteed.
Not fer nuthin, but if you break down on I-95 around Quantico, I’ve got….let’s see…bourbon, amaretto, whiskey…
Never mind.
I heard there’s good pizza around there
Or maybe it’s just from there…
gettin’ chippy!
BLEERGH is running loose in the SEC, PAWWWWLLLLL.
Interesting and nuanced analysis from this CBS SEC CREw? (On the field goal block about the kicker being slow). I guess SOMEONE has to be competent to make up for these clowns in congress.
HAIL SHAN’KLHOR
Stidham keeping these jammy fucks in it. Still ain’t made up for costing ’em that FG, though…
I know OU did well by Hippo. How’s everyone else’s action tonight?
others:
Wiscy (early moneyline @ +220): $50
Aubie (pick ’em): 2 bills
Miami (+7): $135ish
Miami (moneyline @ +360): like $117 and change
Fresno (moneyline @ +280): $100
VERRRRRY generous spot
Eliza Coupe is my jam; but damn, if the camera adds 10 pounds she must be -2 in real life.
Dinner: Rice cake with anti-matter!
Hold the celery-water, I breathed in a lot of smog today.
Who invited Ken Burns to this CBS SEC CHAmpionship game halftime show ?
UGa gon’ pull away any time now.
They still gon get pregnant.
The rhythm is gonna get you…
Howdy.
She seems nice
Right?
Aubie out-cute-ing themselves
I have the nicest cat in the world, and will fight anyone who disagrees.
I have the worst cat in the world, and if anyone disagrees they can have him.
Holy shit does TSA pre screen fucking rule. Keep your shoes and belt on put your wallet and phone in your bag and walk the fuck through. Now I’ve got an extra hour at LAX.
seems nice!
CBS crusty announcer done called it!
Impressive.
they really are very good announcers. I don’t mind the crusty factor.
This is MOS DEF the time of day when I get mad at my GAMBLOR record and make tilted moneyline BET BET BET BET BETs on Da U and Fresno.
“Is this the ‘I Ron So Far Away Bowl’?”
-A Flock of Seagulls, watching Georgia/Auburn
#TehranTourismBureau
TD Georgia!
Snuff Film Redux this afternoon. Hope that poor Stanford fucker ain’t watching and getting PTSD.
I’m livin’ it
#CareerSuicide
who wants a dozen Benadryl??
Think what he does to the sleeping vegetables…