NFL News:
- Your new Bears head coach is Matt Nagy.
- He is/was the Chiefs OC in 2016. Prior to the Chiefs, he was with the Eagles from 2009-13.
- He played QB at Delaware, and spent 5 years in the Arena League.
- He is/was the Chiefs OC in 2016. Prior to the Chiefs, he was with the Eagles from 2009-13.
- SHOCKING: Richie Incognito is being accused of dropping some slurs in the Bills loss versus the Jags.
- Specifically, Jags DE Yannick Ngakoue accused Incognito of making “some weak racist slurs” during the game.
- SHOCKING #2: Cam’s concussion protocol treatment during the loss to the Saints will be getting the once-over by the NFL.
- It will get the same scrutiny that Russell Wilson’s protocol did when he spent the three minutes in the tent back in November, a move which cost the Seahawks $100,000.
- SHOCKING #3: Jeff Triplette was reportedly so bad on Saturday he decided to retire.
- Now, this morning, the controversy is that the NFL knew he was retiring, and gave him a playoff game upon which to ride off into the sunset.
Finally, this is pretty savage.
Game preview: JV Falcons versus JV Patriots
I don’t care what the spread is, this game is Bama’s to lose. They could theoretically win their 5th National Championship in nine years, so as much as we like to rip on Nick Satan Saban, you have to allow that Alabama has shown a remarkable pattern of success since his hiring.
From everything I read, it sounds like this game comes down to whether Georgia’s two-headed running monster can overcome Alabama’s stifling #1-ranked run defence. Seniors Nick Chubb and Sony Michel both have surpassed the 1,000-yard mark this fall, boosting their career totals to a combined 8,259 yards, moving them past Eric Dickerson and Craig James – of Southern Methodist fame in the early 1980s – on the all-time list for tandem running backs.
Because, from having watched the two semi-final games, Georgia doesn’t have much of a defence, and Alabama can put up points fairly quickly. A freshman QB, no matter how poised, doesn’t have much to draw upon if he gets flustered. If the game turns to Bama quickly, I think we all have to reflect on how supremely talented DeShaun Watson is, and how what he did for Clemson last year might be considered a miracle. I’m keeping RAW on redial if this game becomes a blowout by halftime.
SI.com has a story on the game’s punters, which isn’t half-bad. Read all the way to the bottom, however, for the latest in America’s culinary demise, Batter – the edible cookie dough gelaterie.
Commercial airtime is averaging $1.2 million per 30-second spot. Kendrick Lamar is performing at halftime.
For you lovable gambling degenerates, Alabama is currently favoured by 4.5, and the over/under is 47.
Oh, and the President will be there, so I hope people enjoy the extra extra-security the game already has. In Canada, they’ve mostly stopped showing politicians on the big screen, because they always get booed. I wonder if they’ll show the Orange Face of Incompetence on the YUGGGGGE board, and if so what will the reaction be.
Update: Well, the protests are planned.
No surprise, since the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reminds its readers that Trump tweeted that Atlanta is “horrible” and “crime infested”.
Prediction:
What I want: Georgia 24-17
What I expect: Alabama 35-10
Tonight’s sports:
- College Football Playoff National Championship: Alabama vs. Georgia
- 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- NBA:
- Bucks at Pacers – 7:00PM | NBATV
- Raptors at Nets – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
- Nuggets at Warriors – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1
- WWE:
- Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
Unless you have a regional broadcast that interests you, it’s a pretty thin sports schedule tonight.
AGREED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4U7wNZu-CU
Seriously….this is getting too weird even for me.
I’m outta here.
Love you folks, no matter what your beliefisms are. But no matter what you believe, the world sucks. Get used to it.
All we have is each other. And I am thankful to have you jerkweeds. Even when you piss me off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-lBmpz8Iso
Lotsa typos in that.
I’ve fixed ’em. srsly…reload the page.
Mmmmm, lots of Simpsons on TV. Praying for an old one….
Praying to whom?
(oh shit, I prolly shouldnta axxed that)
Vishnu, figured he could lend a hand
Nice.
http://images.cdbaby.name/r/a/raytrollrussellwodehouse5_large.jpg?v=1d61289d-133e-4805-aa88-ab3ca0ac66bc
https://store.trollart.com/image.php?type=P&id=175
Night all. It’s been fun blaspheming with you tonight.
Srsly calling it a night.
Thank you for an enjoyable night, good friends.
All glory to Jesus for this wonderful evening
He’s busy being dead.
I’ll forward the msg.
G’nite folks.
I’ve pissed enough folks off for one night.
But not Jesus. Why? Because he was a human. Great human, admittely, but human.
And he doesn’t give a shit about football. Might have before he was dead for 2 millennia…Though I’d like to think not.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF2lwwxoQNU
Night twbs. I don’t know who you pissed off but you earned my admiration.
I’m always pissing off somebody.
My best advice is distance yourself from me when I’m like this.
But thank you nonetheless. You poor bastard.
😛
This may help:
Goddammit, now I want to watch Hannibal.
DAMMIT MOOSE!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx_hlStCL7g
I like her top.
Sucker punch to the gut? Meh, still acceptable.
Nice nipples.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ31oz0DECw
I think it was a kick; just a tad lower than the gut.
Yes, on second closer inspection it was a kick and/or knee.
Good for her.
The live show might actually be pretty good, but as always, fuck Andrew Lloyd Webber, the dirty thief.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS2nX4fuzqc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYGtypr_A6Y
And that’s seriously not all.
https://theatrenerds.com/15-times-andrew-lloyd-webber-allegedly-copied-music-others/
It’s a great musical. My favorite actually.
Much like my favorite fictional novel is The Stand.
Vegas is still there.
And any text after youtube links messes up your embedding Senor.
You know this.
Want me to fix it?
I know, but I didn’t want to triple-post.
No worries.
Fine as is, or if you wanna do the replies to embed.
I think I’ve scared everyone off by now anyway sooooo….yeah.
Yeah, don’t worry about it.
You play basketball?
Does tonight’s victory of evil over regular fuckupedness foretell a Patriots victory in Superb Owl LII? Yes, it probably does, other Barry.
Yes, but a Georgia win would also have foretold a Patriots victory, as would have a tie, a forfeit, and a meteor.
Let’s see if Voodoo works, or at least drinking.
Imma go jerk off now.
Hey god, I know you don’t like that….so you know my address. If you really don’t like it, you know where to find me.
Nothing.
“Careful, dude.”
-Onan
My recollection is that that was a bit more complex.
And also….totally fictional.
Oh no; some dude name Onan liked to whack it…… cheers Onan…. he does have a FB page, so it has to be true.
Well, yes…… he was punish for being a terrible shot…. so to speak.
“I’m not sure I remember it the same way.”
–Trent Green
Good thing it wasn’t a football game tho.
Go ahead, why do you think I created the internet for you?
– God
“Can you get the fuck off that thing and take us for a walk, jerk?”
-Dog
Your address? “Mr.”?
Oh, so not so omniscient after all huh, fucker?
I had to feed Dog. Also I know it’s not Sgt.
I wasn’t referring to you personally I hope you know.
Well, personally I am partial to Mr. Galactic Commander Moose, but few buy into that address.
Also thank you for the victory jesusy rage; that was fun and justified.
Meh. Sobriety affects me oddly.
I need legal weed.
I mean, your hands go below your waist for a reason. Helps with the abstinence and all that.
Sure but when my people make Jesus jokes….
Mel Gibson can fuck the fuck off.
What did Jesus ask the desk clerk at the Holiday Inn?
“Can you put me up for the night?”
BOOSH
NAILED IT!!
Did Vishnu or Jehovah have any money on Alabama tonight?
XENU TOOK THE POINTS!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SA8v3B1SxR0
For tWBS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLb7_UrV3-A
Hey man, I’ve got no problems with anyone believing whatever they need to believe to comfort themselves.
That’s what religion is.
But don’t act like you won a fucking football game because you’re a better “Christian” than the guys on the other side. That’s arrogant.
Fuck that shit.
I can’t billion +1 the second part of this enough.
The first half was pretty good too. Just saying.
– Some guy from Nazareth
Dan McCafferty?
I thought he was from Jackass Flats, Nevada.
I’ll stick with the last part. Blind comforting is not the way to fix things, or understand them. But to each their own I guess.
I don’t disagree.
But it’s hardwired in us as a species.
Evolution has its costs.
By far our longest and most enduring belief systems were in the spiritual presence of nature, multiple “gods” that provided food, shelter, etc. The monotheism prevalent now is relatively recent and is not a factor in how our brains are wired other than the need to explain things, to rationalize our surroundings.
Sad bulldog is sad.
In other news….I downloaded that Wolff Fire and Fury book. It is really good!
Hey watch this….
FUCK YOU JESUS….
Nothing.
Shocking.
Don’t mess with Boltman tho
Bend over Jesus, I’ve got the lube.
Huh…still nothing.
OK, I’ll stop now before everyone gets too cross with me.
Get it? Cross?
I….. praise your forthrightness.
Yeah, well….you might still wanna stand back.
You know, just in case….lightning, etc.
https://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/lightning-strikes-damages-jesus-statue-at-mother-cabrini-shrine
Lightning strikes according to physics, not ghostman.
https://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/lightning-strikes-damages-jesus-statue-at-mother-cabrini-shrine
?ig_cache_key=OTgwMDI4NzM4OTg4Nzk2ODI4.2
?ig_cache_key=OTgwMDI4NzM4OTg4Nzk2ODI4.2!!!!
MOOSE HAS THE GIFT OF TONGUES
PRAISE JESUS
ALL GLORY IS HIS
REPENT, SINNER
Hello! Is everyone disgusted with tonight’s result?
My apologies, everyone.
I’d just like to thank Jesus, my lord and saviour, for allowing me to be able to watch this game tonight. What? Oh right, that was DirecTV.
Hell I dunno….I got nothing.
Go Pagans?
But Jesus is everywhere– even in your satellite dish. If you give him some foil, he works well as rabbit-ears when your satellite goes out.
This kid is Jesus-happy.
You have got Tua be kidding me!
BFC, you go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done.
Dammit
Ape with the obvious, savage comparison.
https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/950595589128978433
Well, the Spurs came back from 14 down to win, so at least I can be happy about that.
Georgia, how do you fuck that up!?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WA11gnz9eBA
&hash=4501d7f57408
OH FFS THIS DUDE IS GONNA THANK JESUS HEY YOU PIECE O’ SHIT THE GUYS ON THE OTHER SIDE LOVE JESUS TOO. I HATE THAT FUCKING SHIT. PLEASE LET THIS FUCKER DIE TONIGHT IN A HORRIBLE ONE VEHICLE COLLISION.
Jesus hates Saban just like the rest of us do.
And no, I’m not taking it back. No matter what anyone’s religious beliefs are, to think God or Jesus gives a flying fuck about a football game means you are a lesser being and can’t comprehend things.
Go die in pain for an extended period of time you fuck.
What about Buddha? THE BUDDHA CARES ABOUT FOOTBALL
Give him your money, maybe he’ll listen.
But your odds are better in Vegas playing blackjack, just so you know.
Thas just cuze he used to be a nosetackle DUH.
My dogs think I am the Messiah of food dispensation.
Well, at least they have a reason to believe in their god.
You go, foodgod.
THANK KRISHNA FOR THIS VICTORY
PRAISE HELIX, GOD OF ANARCHY!
Alright Nick…shouldn’t you be on your way to start recruiting kids?
You’re surprised? This is hardly the first time we’ve seen a team based in Georgia that blew a halftime lead in a championship game against a team made of pure evil
Banner this man.
Man – the SEC is such a better conference than everyone else. Their college football culture in the south — I don’t even know what compares? The world class marathoners of Ethiopia? US large cities vs world in producing basketball talent? Surfing and Hawaii?
Just no other part of the nation GETS IT! Like? They might have a seeming code breaker for a handful of years (USC, ORE, ACC is the biggest #2 but it’s almost embarrassing that no conference is better?) but even their success show you CAN win against the SEC but never how you can CONSISTENTLY win against them.
Matt Ryan is on his kitchen floor, twitching with PTSD.
No you’re thinking of Tom Savage.
And that folks…is why you need to have two SEC teams to have a proper National Championship game.
I think the lesson here is clear: teams that say “Fuck Trump” are winners.
Is UGA basically Black Berkeley?
…All right, I’ll go brush up on my character witnessing.
Remember, we didn’t see nothing.
Just spell my name wrong at least.
I always figured it would be Hermana Weaselo. Or her. Possibly both for the same charge.
Georgia’s performance in the 2nd half might be the worst football I’ve ever seen, and I went to UCONN.
“At least nobody’s talking about OUR 2nd half anymore!” – Oklahoma University
“Or ours. At least for a couple of days.”
—Atlanta Falcons
I know Bama’s kicker isn’t gay, but he owes a Hawaiian kid a beej for bailing him out.
[laughs and shakes head]
Yep, Mel Tucker ladies and gentlemen. Anyone else having Rodgers to Cobb flashbacks?
I’m not sure who Mel Tucker is but if I met his dog right now I might kick it.
nah, we don’t need nobody deep
Told ya.
Night folks.
Oooff.
Umm…
Welp
That kid is a freshman? Nawwwwwwww
woopsie
4 down territory
Someone get the Bama kicker a pair of glasses.
sure
?itok=Zh1ZmP82
SOOOO HOT