World Gawne Mad – Thursday Evening Opening Round Session

Hopefully, you were able to stick it to the man and enjoy the first eight matches.  Regardless, here are eight more for your gluttonous consumption.

#16(E) Radford (+22.5, N/A) v. #1(E) Villanova (6:50, TNT)

The Highlanders outlasted my Blackbirds on Tuesday night, but that and $3 will get you a cup of coffee.  Nova won’t so much as let them hang around awhile.

#12(S) Davidson (+4.5, +175) v. #5(S) Kentucky (7:10, CBS)

This line keeps closing, and I don’t get it.  Davidson has some hoodoo against Rhode Island, but I don’t see that translating to Kenfucky, who are legitimately in the zone, and red hot.  Look for the better Wildcats’ defense to shut down the lesser Wildcats’ perimeter offense.

#11 San Diego State (+4.5, +175) v. #6 Houston (7:20, TBS)

Speaking of hot…both of these teams.  I could see Houston going on a super-long run, but this matchup is dangerous as fuck.  Should make for excellent viewing.

#14(E) Steven F. Austin (+11, +500) v. #3(E) Texas Tech (7:27, truTV)

Ordinarily, taking down a 3 seed would be asking a lot of just one guy, but Guns Up!! are quite overrated.  Could definitely see this one going down to the wire.

#9(E) Alabama (+2.5, +125) v. #8(E) Virginia Tech (9:20, TNT)

Another very watchable game, though I suspect Roll Damn Tide may have shot their damn wad in the SEC tourney.  Their PG is a legitimate star in the making (unlike Trae Young).  VPI just annoys the fuck out of you until you find you’ve somehow lost by five or so.

#13(S) Buffalo (+8, +320) v. #4(S) Arizona (9:40, CBS)

What does Vegas know that is keeping this line in check like this?  Shouldn’t Fat Sean’s NBA bunch run train on a MAC-tion side?  I’m just confused here.

#14(W) Montana (+10, +475) v. #3(W) Michigan (9:50, TBS)

Michigan is white-hot, or rather, they were before taking like a month off since the B1G tourney ended.  We shall see if that has an impact.  I know fuck-all about the Griz.

#11(E) St. Bonaventure (+6, +225) v. #6(E) Florida (9:57, truTV)

We remember the Bonnies from Tuesday night’s comeback win against UCLA, and they get plenty of rest in prep for Thursday’s nightcap.  The betting line is highly favourable, especially if one thinks the Gators kinda suck (as I do).

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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blaxabbath

Coaches should just have to surrender to the FBI in postgame pressers as they are eliminated from this year’s tourney.

Senor Weaselo
Unsurprised

I would prefer a more Aztec method where they have to cut their own hearts out.

I absolutely demand the team captains as well for pro sports, especially football.

Horatio Cornblower

Time to take the dog for a walk. DESTROY MY BRACKET DAVIDSON!!!
-Fuck Calipari.

LemonJello

“I like Calamari, but not that much…”
-a distracted Andy Reid at the Golden Corral Chocolate Fountain

litre_cola

Stone Cold Austin handling their business is nice when the line was so huge. Hippo did you get in on that?

Dick E. Phuck

I thought about picking them, but I ended up picking Texas Tech because I am an idiot.

Horatio Cornblower

Better cover that Norseman.

Dick E. Phuck

Mike Krzyzewski’s wife has been married to him for nearly 50 years. I probably couldn’t deal with that fuckface for 1 hour without strangling him. How the hell did she manage 50 years with the guy?

Beerguyrob

He’s grinding tape for six months/year, while she’s grinding freshmen.

WCS
WCS

Money.

Horatio Cornblower

He makes a ton of money and probably spends 22 hours a day at the office.

theeWeeBabySeamus

HEY YOU LEAVE MICKIE OUT OF THIS!!!!!!!

(srsly, he’s a dick, but she a pretty cool chick)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey that rhymed.

WCS

Counterpoint:
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Horatio Cornblower

No, no, Notsee. Notsee. Nazi.

LemonJello

Aliens walk among us!
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Horatio Cornblower

Well, I’d maybe walk a little faster. Doesn’t look like ol’ Steve gets around too quickly these days.

litre_cola

I remember Steve Fisher moar for his time at Michigan than with the Aztecs, but I know he did way moar in San Diego.

blaxabbath

Anyone seems the Big Enough meme? It’s my current favorite.

Dick E. Phuck

Andy Reid should sue Geico for using his likeness without his permission.

Horatio Cornblower

“Look at Calipari; he’s just like that guy in the band!”

The fat guy in the Kentucky band has already gotten two schools in serious trouble with the NCAA? Wow, that’s actually pretty impressive.

blaxabbath

Band nerds.

The Maestro

HEY YOU TAKE THAT BACK OR I’LL wait shit that’s my job now damnit

Dick E. Phuck

Tool fans?

LemonJello

Athletics Supporters?

Redshirt

I just realized. The guy who played Apollo’s son played that villain/anti-hero in “Black Panther”. Holy crap,

Dick E. Phuck

Same guy directed ‘Creed’ and ‘Fruitvale Station.’ Michael B. Jordan is his leading man from the looks of it.

scotchnaut

Just noticed that 2 pieces of pizza are resting on my t-shirt. I think it’s time for the beddy bye.

Horatio Cornblower

Leave the shirt.

Dick E. Phuck

I haven’t heard anyone say “beddy bye” since I was five.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, my Dad “went out for cigarettes” when I was 5, too.

The Maestro

If you don’t finish that pizza immediately, we will scorn you for all eternity.

The Maestro

Currently in the midst of filing a new bone saddle for my 12-stringer; I reeeeally hope nobody walks in to the living room right now, because all of this white powder is NAWT cocaine.

litre_cola

Filling a bone saddle? Is that what the kids are saying now for anal?

The Maestro

No, because unlike that, this is gonna take me friggin’ forever to finish.

blaxabbath

What is the deal with your musical prowess?

Dick E. Phuck

Marry, Fuck, Kill: Hope Hicks, Ivanka Trump, Dana Loesch. Ready. Set. GO.

Horatio Cornblower

M-Hope Hicks
F-Ivanka
K-Loesch

Dick E. Phuck

Yeah, Loesch is a pretty easy K now that I think about it.

Horatio Cornblower

There were really only two choices here

SonOfSpam

Plus, Vanky has some literal-maybe Donnie stink on her. End the whole lineage.

Beerguyrob

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litre_cola

So in true asshole fashion, Decilitre just took his first 2 steps unassisted, he was in front of the tv. I didn’t realize that these were the first ones without holding himself up and said get out of the damn way. Mrs. Cola was not impressed with me not cherishing the moment. Oops.

LemonJello

Dad? Is that you?

Dick E. Phuck

Kid’s got to learn not to fuck with Daddy’s down time. Never too early to start, imo.

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

The dream is over.

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Unsurprised

I wish I could hate someone so hard they die.

Dick E. Phuck

Every Trump Man looks like their hair is super glued to their skull.

blaxabbath

#WhiteTrashRoyalty

Horatio Cornblower

The ‘Stepford Wives’ ‘Freaks And Geeks’ mash-up is going to suck.

scotchnaut

“Not sure about that. I will say, according to documents I’ve just seen, the nightmare is just beginning.”

R. Mueller

blaxabbath

God I wish those Trump Org docs will become public record when this is all over.

The Maestro

I read this as Orc docs and yet it’s still not technically wrong per se.

Unsurprised

Don’t insult Orcs by comparing them to these fucking monsters.

Unsurprised

This isn’t Ken Starr, that fucking piece of shit. They’re not going to publish a book of the Mueller report.

Redshirt

Movie?

LemonJello

Graphic Novel. Four Issue Mini-series at most.

scotchnaut

Un-Related News:

Rocky is giving Clubber Lang the old “You Knew This Would Happen In The Rematch” treatment.

Redshirt

You know its kind of sad how bad a boxer Mr. T’s character is since he’s based on Sonny Liston and George Forman. He has the look and the talk (hell he’s Mr. T as a boxer), but in the end all he has is one hell of a right cross. And this was just the student. If Apollo in his prime fought Clubber, he probably would’ve embarrassed him worse that Rocky did.

Apollo went the distance nearly twice.
Drago almost went the distance.
Clubber went three rounds. That’s like having an epic three hour long martial arts movie end with a three second fight with the bag guy just being bitch slapped.

JustStopDude

I really disliked the end of the last Rocky movie.

The idea that a top flight talent would break his hand in an exhibition match and continue the fight to a decision is beyond stupid.

Here is how I would have written it. Rocky and Floyd are fighting. Its not even that far into the match and Floyd is destroying Rocky but his hands breaks. The Floyd character wants to continue the fight but his corner basically throw in the towel to protect him.

It humanizes the Floyd character. He is livid but then him and Rocky have the huddle in the middle of the ring. Floyd yells “You didn’t fucking win” Rocky gives the advice along the lines “Kid…you need to know when to quit” and the Floyd character replies back “Ironic coming from you”

They have a chuckle. Rocky is chanted as he leaves. He wins, but its a completely flawed victory. Its not even a moral victory. Its a fluke.

You have the credits.

End of credits, you see the Floyd character showing up at Rocky’s gym, by himself…no posse, with his hand all wrapped up. Its not a replay of the ending of Rocky II “ding ding”. Instead, they have a quick heart to heart, in the middle of the ring, and the camera pans to the wall with all the greats. Imply how legends never die…they just fad away sort of shit.

Next shot is outside, where Rocky’s super annoying kid is hit by a bus.

Perfecting ending.

Dick E. Phuck

I was going good until NC State and South Dakota state completely fucked up my bracket. I trusted them, god damnit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

My pretend online girlfriend from Estonia has found herself a REAL LIFE Estonian boyfriend and no longer has time for me. Bitch.
*sigh*

Fortunately, my WAY hotter pretend online girlfriend from Canadia still loves me. I think.

SonOfSpam

Girls from that part of the world can give you a BallTick.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Canadia girlie can give me anything she likes. Oooooof.

Dick E. Phuck

Will Sister Jean break her vows for coach Belichick?

SonOfSpam

grumble grumble you already spend all your time on your knees grumble

SonOfSpam

“Trump’s personal assistant, John McEntee, lost his White House job this week because an investigation found he was a frequent gambler whose habit posed a security risk, two people familiar with his departure tell WaPo.”

No wonder Hippo has so much free time lately.

JustStopDude

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Horatio Cornblower

Back from the gym, dinner and errands. Now to take a big sip of water and see how that “Wright State to the Sweet Sixteen” thing is working for me…

scotchnaut

“If it’s any consolation, we went just as far in the tourney.”

-Wrong State

theeWeeBabySeamus

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— NC State

Horatio Cornblower

Turns out I bounced them in the Round of 32. I was honestly expecting to use this joke on them but apparently my subconscious was looking out for me,

theeWeeBabySeamus

Me too, actually. Thought we’d show up today tho.

Unsurprised

Wrong State? When did we add that one?
— U*NC student

JustStopDude

The only other time that UMBC was in the National Tournament, they were a 15 seed going up against Georgetown 2 seed.

It was sad that their point guard was taller then our center. That year we had an insanely talented point guard that would routinely hit threes about two feet behind the 3 point line. In the American East, he was untouchable.

Against Georgetown, he was trying to air ball it about 5 ft back because he couldn’t get the ball over the dude covering him.

Without having watched a single UMBC game since I graduated, I am confident they are the shortest team in the tournament.

Holy shit…I am wrong…

https://www.ncaa.com/news/basketball-men/bracketiq/2018-03-14/duke-has-tallest-team-years-ncaa-tournament

UMBC is actually 31st in Height. Duke is number one.

WCS

You’re right, but Dook can go fuck themselves.

WCS

I’m already seeing flashbacks to what they did to WVU two years ago.

litre_cola

You take the wrong acid?

WCS

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scotchnaut

David’s Son’s mascot has to be Scrappy-Doo. It is written.

Redshirt

Honest question: When a basketball game become a blowout, do they put in the backups or do they not have enough reserve players to cover the starters without forcing the reserves to play the entire game?

WCS

Depends on how much depth a team has.

litre_cola

Seniors bench players so they get a taste of the tourney

WCS

Holy hell, Gene Steratore gets to screw up college basketball, too?

Gratliff

Welp. Flyers gave up 2 goals in 11 seconds. So that’s a good indication of what to expect for the evening.

Beerguyrob

They’re watching Villanova too.

SonOfSpam

Villanova has a good chance to win this game.

/stares out over the edge of the limb

WCS

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there, bud. Let’s not get too crazy.

scotchnaut

Commercials suck ass. There, I said it.

litre_cola

The Old Spice one we are getting is making me fly into a rage

SonOfSpam

Why would a foreign country have a deodorant commercial???

theeWeeBabySeamus

Random information no one gives a shit about…
Both of my Lava Lites were fucked so I threw them out and bought two new ones today.

They’re purple and pink.

I’m fancy.

SonOfSpam

Don’t know what those are, but I guess congrats on your new dildos.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What kinda goddamned California hippie are you????????
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SonOfSpam

One who lives in 2018 give or take?

Redshirt

Throttle back ‘Nova. Redshirt needs ya for the whole thing!

WCS

Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I’d to subscribe to your newsletter.

scotchnaut

GO DAVID’S SON!

litre_cola

I am with Hippo here, Gamblor compelled me to go with Big Blue.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ol’ Jed.
smgdh

Redshirt

In a somewhat related thing, I was wondering what to have for dinner. I drove to a KFC, thought of every bad Colonel, and go the hell out of there.

Either quit doing these commercials or do Ric Flair. I miss your gravy!

scotchnaut

“SonOfSpam ain’t that great. My son was way better. Worse. Wait… Better. AHHHH!”

-The Great Santini

litre_cola

The NCAA with their “athlete” propaganda is quite something this year.

litre_cola

Son of Spam was flawless this afternoon. 8 for 8.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t encourage him.

SonOfSpam

Really.

SonOfSpam

Congrats to Rikki on your Raiders getting Doug Martin and Jordy Nelson. Your team is starting to look good, assuming next season is 2014.

theeWeeBabySeamus

They’ll need to invest in ladders.

Redshirt

One afternoon in and my Bracket is about what it usually is each year.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Better than some teams I know.

Redshirt

I thought a team got a Technical Foul if they don’t show up on time, not that they start without them.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I am ducking out of work early at 4 so I can watch the SDSU game. I probably won’t be around here much during it, but here is my contribution:

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SonOfSpam

Congrats on getting half your games right so far!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So apparently DoJu’s soon to be ex-wife was one of the Juggies for the Man Show.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

If that family’s financial assets are as much of a lie as everything else, hopefully she can get her old job back.

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