We are roughly halfway through the Group Stage with three more games on tap. Let’s get right to it!
5:00 AM Pacific
Brasil v Costa Rica
Balls: Neither team looked particularly good in their last game. There are rumours
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lE5Tlq2pgc
that Neymar is hurt. My sources tell me he merely has sand in his vagina.
Costa Rica, on the other hand, couldn’t get any offense going against Serbia and Navas, who is also hurt, let one in and that was that. Brazil has other goal scorers. The dropoff from Navas is Grand Canyon-esque.
Predicción: Someone other than Neymar scores and Brazil keep their hopes alive: 2-0.
Litre_Cola : Well you would have to think Brazil should run through these guys. Dare I say that the South American entries in to this here tournament are a wee bit overrated except Uruguay who is en route to the 3 game TwBs scorelin?. Neymar hurt his ankle against Switzerland as they targeted him the whole time. Did it work? Hell yes it did. Reports are unclear as for his status against the Costa Ricans, but it really shouldn’t matter as Brazil has far more class than their foes. I like the plucky little underdog but the Brazilians should run through Bryan Ruiz and co.
Predicción: Balls is right, 2-0 sounds spot on.
Wakezilla: After a disappointing tie, Brazil gets a little bit of a breather as they face Costa Rica. Unfortunately for them, Neymar is hurt, but will start. I cannot stress how much of a terrible decision this is. Brazil has Firminio on the bench, so they might as well use him and give Neymar a rest. That’s not that much of a talent drop. Besides, if Brazil can’t beat Costa Rica without Neymar, then aren’t winning shit.
Costa Rica lost a tough one to an up and coming Serbia team. Costa Rica is heading into this game, trying to keep it nice and tight.
Once Brazil slips up, then they’ll go in for a penetrable offensive run, which could lead to them slipping one past the goalie. More Sexual innuendo.
Predicción: Unlike Uruguay and France, I don’t get the impression that Brazil has learned their lesson about stepping up their game. Costa Rica is going to leave everything on the field, but it won’t be enough. Brazil wins 1-0 in another uninspired game.
8:00 AM Pacific
Nigeria v Islandia
Balls: We almost have all the Panini stickers for the Nigeria team in our work album. That’s about the most positive thing I can say about this team.
Iceland, in the other hand, can go a long ways towards advancing with a win against the Africans. And they have the football to do it.
So, fun scenario: If Iceland DOES win, do they and Croatia agree to a tie in the last game to fuck Argentina? I would.
Prediction: Iceland 2 Nigeria 1
Litre_Cola: Nigeria has nice outfits and underachieved their 1st game. It did not go well. Since the Euros, Iceland has never shrunk in the spotlight and have always worked haarder than their opponants. They will play this game tough, and try to push the Nigerians around. I would really like to see the plucky cold nation go through. So basically the whole country watched the game against Argentina. The whole damn country.
Spá: Clap………….Clap……………this one has a Twbs written all over it. A heard fought 1 nil win for the Vikings.
Wakezilla: Recently, Mikel John Obi said Nigeria would have won the World Cup if their FA wasn’t such a shit show. From 1998-2006, I’d agree with this assessment. They had some excellent teams back in the day, but they’d always meltdown. Same thing happened to Cameroon and Ghana. They look poised to go for a deep run and then their FA would stop paying them. Like, if there’s one time their government should do some shady corrupt shit to make things happen, that would be it. This is Nigeria’s best chance to win a game and it’s also a must win game. They should be going balls to the wall against Iceland.
Iceland is starting to have key injuries build up. Sigurdsson will play, but is still not completely fit and Gudmundsson will miss the match. In group stage, this shouldn’t affect them too much, since Iceland is very much a system based team.
Prediction: This game feels like a 1-1 draw. Nigeria will press late, but won’t be able to get through Iceland’s defense.
11:00 AM Pacific
Serbia v Suiza
Balls: This will be a tremendous game between two very tough teams. The two teams have so many players over six feet tall, it might as well be a basketball game.
Except there will be no black guys on the field.
Prédiction: A lively and energetic tie: 1-1.
Wakezilla: We have an unexpected first place showdown! The Swiss are now unbeaten in six, which includes draws against Brazil and Spain. That’s pretty impressive. They’re the favorites and will be going for the win so they can rest their players against Costa Rica.
Serbia’s tournament is already a success as they have three points. Assuming their young players develop and stay relatively healthy, they look like they could be a tough team if they qualify for the World Cup in Qatar. This game could see lots of cards because both Switzerland and Serbia play a physical style game. Serbia also likes to play a more wide open game, so, there should be lots of scoring chances.
Prediction: Serbia’s coach said “We know everything about Switzerland now we are going to watch for some details (from) when they played Brazil to make sure we have not missed any details.” I like that they don’t seem content on getting just one win. I think we’re going to get a physical, card infested and entertaining 1-1 draw.
Litre_Cola: My bias has not wavered. Switzerland is gorgeous but the prices are ridiculous, damn country almost sunk a trip of mine many years ago. Screw those art stealin cheese eaters.
Serbia has Fulham connections but if Mitrovic has a poor World Cup Fulham will get him for cheap so I am torn. Did you know they got promoted to the Premier League this past season? A lot of people forget that.
Предвиђање: A bruiser of a game because it means so much where the Serbs come out on top 2-1.
Let’s see what is number 1 in Serbia this week! It is a banger, complete with tennis attire!
I love foreign music videos. Love them.
Thanks to all who made a funny response to my train story. I just read the comments after editing a personal narrative about my student getting gang raped as she fled her country to be in a safer country, Sudan.
Ron Howard voice over: It was not safer because Sudan broke out into war.
Well, I feel like an awful person now.
/reads a single news story about what the Trump administration is up to, feels better.
Vodka for breakfast? Don’t mind if I do.
Hammer Time!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo
BALL ONE!
I haven’t seen a bunch of black guys make a bunch of white guys look that bad since my college intramural basketball team lost the championship game to a team made up of football players.
(and yeah I still say that wasn’t fair, dammit!!!!)
Good old barbaric days of UFC
Volcano ash must’ve been in his eye.
At least we didn’t get a TWBS…
I think we’re all happy about that.
Wait, what are we talking about again?
Ook.
Will the Vikings go raid Nigeria in retaliation?
I even looked at the names of port cities for a bad pun….. I gots nuttin’
I thought England’s next game is on Sunday.
Fool the keeper, miss the net.
“That’s a trip for sure.”
-Neal Cassady
“Phubt!”
-Albert Hofmann
Nigeria’s better than I realized. Will be interesting to see if they can send Argentina packing.
I sure hope so.
“Musa my favorite!”
– Jar Jar Binks
Free huts for everyone!
COME ON ICELAND! DO IT FOR BJORK!
Even their aluminum smelters are attractive.
My dog is Bjorking loudly right now.
“Bjork isn’t really interested in soccer.” – her first cousin, who plays for the team
Back in the day we had to have a lan line.
I’d paint some lines on her.
So on top of the unnecessary family crap going on, my mother in law (who is not here) decides now is the time to email all her kids claiming their grandmother isn’t doing well, but isn’t dying. Then requests pictures from the wedding.
The wife and I might be going for record BAC
just a flesh wound for a true viking
“Do you want me to bring your arm with us ?”
Actual soccer injury?
That was a very nice play.
Yeah, that was an incredible touch to control it.
Goal Iceland! (I think…not sure which team is which)
No, the shithole country scored.
Oh, the one with the huts. Thanks.
Built in Fleshlight.
Did anyone watch the Serbian music video? I am interested on the taeks.
I thought it was awesome.
This ethnically ambiguous woman (maybe some kind of Spanish?) Sat across from me on the train, wearing a grey, compressed dress. She was stunning. As I did a quick scan, only to see each body part was phenomenal, I saw that she had a basic looking tribal tattoo on her upper, upper thigh. I never spoke or met this woman before, but it didn’t suit her.
If there ever was an example of having a tacky bumper sticker on a Lamborghini, this was it.
Perhaps because I am a pessimist, I can’t help but think: do you think she feels sad, knowing there’s nowhere her body can go but down?
If she was indeed Spanish, she’ll keep that body well into old age. I don’t think she’s worried about that. She’ll be banging dudes well into her 70s.
“I like your tattoo…” – Rikki, completely ignoring any kind of philosophical musings whatsoever.
/clicks punch card…
/more like strikes out hilariously, but hey, you don’t get hits if the bat stays on your shoulder
“Do you feel sad, knowing there’s nowhere your body can go but down?”
Is my go-to pickup line. Can’t figure out why it’s not working. Any suggestions?
http://barkpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/window.gif
It just seems like Iceland will get the TWBS late.
Seems like every game I’ve watched has felt like an 8-9 matchup in the ncaa tournament: I guess they are good teams but we all know neither one is going to win anything so what am I doing.
I think the tourney is wide open. The traditional powers are playing like shit, so the chances are good for a first time winner.
More parity when it’s the world’s most popular sport.
[redacted]
[Want to find out what this mysterious comment was? Head over to Request Line to find out!]
I remember enjoying that song too, and I was in high school.
Didn’t buy the album, though. There were limits.
Oops. Wrong thread.
Wait, so you WEREN’T talking about Croatia’s chances in this tournament?
Not sure what this Gazprom is that I see plastered all over the world cup, but I think the Germans are good at it.
It’s a Russian-owned corporate asset that produces lots of gas. No, it’s not Donald Trump.
Is that guy really staying down cause he got hit in the stomach with a soccer ball? Do some fucking crunches, man.
I think I just saw something as ridiculous as baseball managers in uniform. There seemed to be a very tall old white guy with the coaches for Nigeria. He has on goalkeeper gloves. Why?
Mickey Mouse cosplay?
Maybe he is Alex smith’s dad.
1) Hand Model
b) Its part of the deal he made with a Nigerian prince for eleventy brazillian space bucks
But why male models?
Probably just trying to turn Brocky on.
What day is it? Hell, what month is it for that matter?
/might have drank too much last night
//searches frantically for the Advil
/waits while tWBS washes the Advil down with vodka
“HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’ tWBS!!!!!”
I’ll be fine in a little while. I don’t get hangovers often, and boy do they suck.
That vodka/advil cocktail might not be a bad idea, though. Ugh.
It’s the 33rd of Smarch
That’ll be me tomorrow and Sunday morning
With France, Germany and Brazil all playing uninspiring lesser footy, I want two new teams that have never reached the finals, make the finals. Bring on Belgium and Croatia!
That could very well happen.
Costa Rica would’ve done better if FIFA hadn’t added that rule at that last minute banning cloned velociraptors from playing on your team
Interesting that I nailed the score, but both goals were in injury time. As Fronkenshteen said below, the mystique is gone.
I too hit the score. Huzzah
Everyone is gonna eulogise about Neymar after that tap in and conveniently forget that he’s been shit for rest of the match.
That shot of his socks shredded with cleat holes, though…
If he passed the the ball to an open team mate instead of taking on three defenders that doesn’t happen.
Fair point
THIS REFEREE I CALL HIM A TEAMSTER CAUSE HE’S REALLY PUSHING FOR THAT OVERTIME.
Someone printed this out at work and hung it up:
I like the idea of all these players yelling at each other, but in different languages, so no one understands anyone anyway.
It’s like watching an old episode of Crossfire.
Neymar dived called out, neymar gets a yellow , Traitor Coutinho gets a yellow… now all i need is a goal from Bobby Formino and my day is made!
I’d say the Brazil mystique is a thing of the past. They’re just another good team that sometimes busts out some crazy futsal moves, and can be quite bitchy.
You sir, are absolutely fucking correct.
Good. Fuck that flopping shit.
I didn’t think Germany played today.
He should have carded him for diving. That was bad enough to deserve a red card, in my opinion.
Wow, that dive would make Vlade Divac proud.
So word on the street is Rosenstein gets fired today.
I saw something about that earlier in the week, but I haven’t seen anything since.
Neymar going for the dick
Alexi Lalas has a level of smarm that indicates to me that some sort of sexual misconduct charges are inevitably forthcoming.
Hey folks! I’ve been on trial this week and get to spend today sitting in court, filling my pants in terror while waiting for the jury to come back and tell me if I’m pretty or not. It’s just awful. Still, either way I’ll be drunk tonight.
But I just wanted to stop in and say that I don’t think Argentina is gonna win the World Cup this time around.
Well……. do they think you are pretty???
I’ve got a good feeling about this…
?itemid=5435157
On second thought…
Are the south american nations cursed? This will show us. If the Coastal Ricans pull any result out of this then we will know.
Just the shithole ones, according to the executive branch.
So………
every country in the World is cursed, except for Gina, Eastern Europe(that’s where the “good” wives come from, and Russia.
I don’t make the rules…