Your Saturday Evening Mild Rant & Open Thread

As you are reading this, I am currently not in Seattle awaiting the banal gore that will be the Seahawks home opener on Sunday. The dog sitter’s elderly mother died, and there wasn’t time to make other arrangements, so my brother will be enjoying the carnage without me.

Aside – they kept watering down Venom into uncoolness.

However, as we heard Joe & Troy repeat ad nauseum on Thursday night, Seahawks-Cowboys is America’s Game of the Week on FOX.

Which I thought loved America.

So why are they punishing America with this game? Is it because the DUMMYCRATS! are holding up the Kavanaugh vote? Quick – someone ask professional sports owner Mike Bidwell whether he was at that party.

After all, they were tight running buddies, so maybe he admitted something. It seems a hell of a lot more practical than forgiving an 18 year-old Brett Kavanaugh for allegedly committing a worse crime than what got 18 year-old Trayvon Martin killed.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NCAA:
    • Florida at Tennessee – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Mississippi State at Kentucky – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Texas Tech at Oklahoma State – 7:00PM | FS1
    • Louisiana Tech at LSU – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Stanford at Oregon – 8:00PM | ABC
    • Wisconsin at Iowa – 8:30PM | FOX
    • Arizona State at Washington – 10:30PM | ESPN
    • Air Force at Utah State – 10:30PM | ESPN2
  • CFL:
    • Roughriders vs. Argonauts – 7:00PM | TSN
    • Tiger-Cats vs. Lions – 10:00PM | TSN
  • NASCAR Sprint Cup Series:
    • Federated Auto Parts 400 – 7:30PM | NBCSN / TSN2
  • UFC Fight Night:
    • Santos vs. Anders – 10:30PM | FS1 / TSN5
      • From Sao Paulo, Brazil
  • NHL Pre-season:
    • Leafs at Sabres – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Canucks at Flames – 9:30PM | Sportsnet1

So now I have to watch the game at home, with a cooler full of free beer. If I’m sober enough, I’ll log in. NO PROMISES!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

On the bright side, there are going to be a lot of very disappointed hot chicks with daddy issues in Eugene, who need comforting, in about two minutes.

King Hippo

from my brief time in the state, I preferred Beaver gals (phrasing)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh, all dem pacific northwest are worth a look see.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry, looks like I overestimated when I said “two minutes”.

(oh yikes….flashback to freshman year)

Mr. Ayo

Why are they playing prevent? smgdh

King Hippo

let the clock beat ’em. SMRT

King Hippo

this is the luckiest goddamned escape I have ever seen. Oregon’s coach should make like Dungy’s gay son immediately after the final whistle.

Mr. Ayo

Junior Gronk!

WCS

Ohhhh, duck!

King Hippo

There is one good Lesser Footy League this season, and it is the SEC Paaaaawwwwllll West. I now just want to see a Roll Damn Tide v. West By God Virginia final, in which 115 points are scored between the sides.

King Hippo

Say what you will about the PAC Twaaaaaalve, brother – it knows how to late night derp

WCS

The Big 12 might be trash, but, we ain’t the Pac-12. Or ACC.

King Hippo

true DAT

King Hippo

the ACC is Sun Belt-calibre this season

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bethune-Cookman could win the Coastal this year.

King Hippo

we’d get some neat stomp shows out of it, at least

theeWeeBabySeamus

It would make VaWolf very happy.
😛

Mr. Ayo

Tweakers gonna tweak.

King Hippo

Oregon REALLY wants to fuck this up.

Mr. Ayo

Lol, what a dumb penalty.

WCS

“Jet Toner” isn’t a person, it’s a printer company.

WCS

Fuck a duck.

King Hippo

he’ll miss

WCS

Oh, duck.

Mr. Ayo

OH NO! THEY DUCKED IT!

King Hippo

anyone ‘splain to Hippo why they not just take a knee 3x?

Mr. Ayo

I can NAWT.

King Hippo

ODU did same thing earlier, ran in a TD instead of fumbling though. Despite better outcome, was still dummy move.

Mr. Ayo

Oh yeah, agree. I was yelling at that runner to take a knee after he got the first down.

King Hippo

maybe he has cancer or something

King Hippo

ah, the naked bootleg. It ALWAYS WORKS

litre_cola

That was atrocious Stanford. You could not get 1 fucking yard.

King Hippo

you can stack 11 in the box b/c David Shaw wouldn’t play action if you had a gun to his head

King Hippo

same situation. OR runs play action, gets TD

litre_cola

So Trump told Spain to build a wall across the Sahara to stop migrants?
There is a lot going on there.

WCS

He’s “like” a smrt person.

litre_cola

I am sure Libya, Morocco, Algeria and Egypt would have no issue at all. That would be easy construction as well.

blaxabbath

All a smokescreen for raiding the public monies. Each day he can sell more of that which is not his to give away is a win in his book.

And when it’s all said and done, there will be no real punishment for any of the culprits.

Fronkenshteen

HERM-TIME BABY!!!

King Hippo

you PLAY to BEAT teh SPREAD!!

blaxabbath

ASU football is so absolutely overrated and underrated at the exact same time.

King Hippo

thus hate them as a favourite, love them as a heavy underdog

yeah right

We’re discussing new names for the band and right now we’re stuck on Fat Stupid Waitresses.

litre_cola

I played on a softball team called Love Donkey once. We always though that the captain wanted to be in a band called that but played softball instead.

Fronkenshteen

The Weapons Of Mass Destruction?

Spanky Datass

“That’s a stupid name.” — Maroon 5

blaxabbath

That’s offensive. Ironic word play is the new game.

“We’re just doing it for the bewbs.”

Mr. Ayo

You mean Big Boned Intellectually Challenged Servers

King Hippo

Infected Head Wound

ArmedandHammered

Elegantly Awkward

WCS

Also, to Virginia Tech:

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (takes breath) AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAA

WCS

Howdy, howdy, howdy.

I’m starting to think the Big 12 isn’t exactly very good.

Mr. Ayo

I really thought you said Pac 12 because that’s the norm. What a weird year.

King Hippo

this year is your Golden Opportunity

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening imaginary peers. I’m trying to decide between cooking a healthy dinner and just having a sandwich.

Mr. Ayo

What kind of sandwich?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Leftover corned beef and salami

Mr. Ayo

Do that one.

litre_cola

Healthy, because then you can have a drink.

Spanky Datass

Most sammiches I make are healthier than the dinner I cooked an our ago.
(stares longingly at bare bone from GIANT/THICK pork chop that was destroyed earlier.)

Fronkenshteen

So it was Raj Shah that dropped Dr. Ford’s name to Ed Whelan (and many other trump allies) before the story went public. Another gravyneck who’s gonna look great in a noose.

Mr. Ayo

So ND should be ranked above the Sooners now, right?

litre_cola

You would have to think so. The world being the way that it is ND will be #2 in no time.

Brocky

I actually wouldn’t mind that . Watching Notre dame get destroyed in a playoff game would be amazing

King Hippo

“Eh, it’s been done” – Roll Damn Tide

/it was funny to see all ESPN folk tittilating with excite over their ND upset picks, before Bama won by like 5 TDs

herodotus450

Got FOUR FUCKING GAMES going and they all at halftime or commercial.

herodotus450

If LaTech pulls off the upset of LSU, they will be immediately granted admission to the SEC and the loss will only drop LSU one spot.

Spur

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herodotus450

Gus Johnson calling the Wisc-Iowa game is like the fat guy-hot wife mismatch of announcer assignments.

herodotus450

Army taking OU to OT just like they took the Germans after they bombed pearl harbor!

King Hippo

Kenfucky, Shitty Wolves, and Guns Up!! all look through. Pokes’ student body looks so depressed that they can’t even get a semi off being surrounded by other men with giant orange paddles. That’s just sad.

Spur

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Brocky

Low effort cosplay. Everyone knows sailor moon and her friends wear gloves.
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King Hippo

Ohhhhhhhhh!-va-time

/that format likely do NAWT play to Army’s strengths

Mr. Ayo

They’re respecting the TROOPS!

King Hippo

maybe even their veteran bookmaker!

Spur

OK land thieves miss the FG. Go Black Knights!

Wakezilla

Old Dominion beat #13 Virginia Tech? Did it look as shady as that sounds?

King Hippo

no, it was a straight up teeth-kicking-in, State played at ODU a few years ago and they were pesky as fuck

Spur

DFO quiet tonight. Everyone at Homecoming?

litre_cola

Wife and kid in bed and I just rolled a hash joint on a Dr. Seuss book so I got that going for me.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Brocky

NutNoy, the unforgiving

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Senor Weaselo

Chiquita Banana Chikorita Day broke the game.

Spur

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Spur

Black Knights make me proud to be American. Fuck those Land stealers

scotchnaut

Night, silly fellers. I’m too drunk to put together the first slate o’games intro right now and there’s a planned power outage for tomorrow morning. Wish me luck.

Spur

A planned power outage? Where do you live Mogadishu?

Brocky

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Spur

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Mr. Ayo

She seems very nice.

scotchnaut

“She’s got abs! And she knows how to use them.”

-ZZ Top

Wakezilla

Hnnnnnngh

King Hippo

If you ever get bored, just flip to an NC State game sometime just to watch Ryan Finley throw. It’s absolute perfection. I stand by it, he’s a mobile, 2″ taller Drew Brees.

Spur

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scotchnaut

“Oh My God! I’m never up this late!”

-the thing I say every time I’m up past 9pm EST.

Spur

head West young man

scotchnaut

But, “Oh My God! I’m never up past 6pm PST!” doesn’t have the same ring to it.

scotchnaut

Oregon doesn’t recruit for running backs, they recruit ‘scamperers’.

Spur
Brocky

The last time I was this disappointed in Stanford athletes, someone was complaining about a steep price for 20 minutes of action

King Hippo

NOTE to ESPN crawl writers: If sommet is the “first X since 201__” – it ain’t worth mentioning.

Brick Meathook

I’m in line at Costco and everybody is crazy and/or pretty ugly too. Then I realized I am also in this line, thus I am crazy and/or ugly as well.

These are my people.

/not really

King Hippo

I have always been crazy but it took awhile for the transition from average/mediocre/forgettable to downright ugly to sink in.

Spur

Can you bring me a hotdog?

Spanky Datass

I was in Sam’s last Friday during a mid-morning rainshower and noticed how old everyone was, even the associates.

/is old too

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We went to Costco today too! I broke one of my purchases on the way out and had to wait 20 minutes for a runner to get me a new one.

Spur

USA USA USA. Do it for America Black Knights!

scotchnaut

Vols Players: “I didn’t sign up for this blowout.”

Coach Pruitt: “Yes. Yes you did.”