Huzzah, booze and leftovers! And for the sporting day beginning at 10 EST like God intended (though I still may bitch a little re the lack of a 7:30 option).
West Ham and Man City are your NBCSN option, and that should be a right bloodbath. Fortunately, you can watch Everton hosting Cardiff on NBC Gold instead! The Break featured lots of glowing press for F Richarlison (one name, Brasil DUH) and a PSG flirtation with DM extraordinaire Idrissa Gana. PSG can fuck right off.
Watford and the Shite are also streaming, as well as Manure v. Palace. Very strange for BOTH red-clad arsehole sides to be off the airwaves in the same weekend. But there you go, somebody decided it’s time to market NBC Gold more aggressively!
Spurs and Chelsea are your dynamite spotlight dance, as the jockeying for Champions League positioning begins in earnest. Methinks Spurs will deny history and put this one away, though I doubt I will bet on it.
Arsenal visit the Cherries for an intriguing early Sunday fixture (7:30, NBCSN). Assuming Bournemouth are serious re crashing the Top 6, this is one they need to lock down. Wolves take on Huddersfield Town next (10:30, NBCSN) and…meh.
What of #HAILGAMBLOR? Hippo has $70 each on Fulham (at home to Saints, surely they will stop sucking hind teat eventually?) and League 2 talisman Bury. MOAR will surely ensue as the day unfolds.
Atleti and Barca play Saturday afternoon, to highlight the continental slate (2:45, BeIn). I have no idea whether Messi will return for this or not. Either way, expect a scoreless draw.
Our Young Boys get 7th position (out of 10, Switzerland ain’t that big) Lugano at 1p Saturday. Time to extract some vengeance for Champions League frustration? Or just fanny about for potential Sugar Daddies? WE SHALL SEE.
The last full JV Saturday has a lot to live up to, after a Blizzard-y Apple Cup and Bananacakes OU/WVU tilt Friday night.
Michigan at Ohio State (Noon, Fox)
I’m glad I won’t be watching this one, as I must keep my eyes on the ACCN and screaming into the void. tOSU a 5-point home dog? Hmmmm.
Florida at Florida State (Noon, ABC)
It’s up to the Gators to break the Semenholes’ bowl streak (and their own rivalry slump to boot). Methinks they will.
Syracuse at Boston College (Noon, ESPN)
Battle for distant 2nd place in the Atlantic Division! But could be a good game, these sides are certainly much better than they showed against Notre Dame. Wait, that’s right, ND ducked BC this season. Consarnit.
Purdue at Indiana (Noon, ESPN2)
This will be fun, unfriendly rivals with each needing to win to get a Weedwhacker-ish Bowl bid. They both score a-plenty.
Auburn at Alabama (3:30, CBS)
Throw out the rankings and records, it’s the Iron Bowl, y’all. Nah, just kidding. Roll Damn Tide will beat Aubie like they owe ’em moneys.
Arizona State at Arizona (3:30, FS1)
Territorial Cup? Lots of hatred, but unsexy name. Bear Down FOAR Midterms needs the win for post-season qualification, Sparky just playing for hate.
Tennessee at Vanderbilt (4:00, SECN)
Always fun to see how the ‘Dores manage to cock things up. And cock things up they surely will. Like Purdue/IU, both teams seeking magic win #6.
South Carolina at Clemson (7:00, ESPN)
No, they’s no reason for hope here. Chickens will probably keep it within 4 or 5 TDs, which is sommet I can’t say for Pitt next weekend.
Kansas State at Iowa State (7:00, FS1)
Possibly the last regular season match for Unded Bill Snyder, which is a shame. I find their games more interesting than is rational, and hope they win and go bowling somewhere. Cornpone State is a side I just can’t figure out at all.
LSU at Texas A&M (7:30, SECN)
Bet on the Bayou Bengals. HEAVILY. Surprising this gets such tertiary coverage, though.
BYU at Utah (10:00, FS1)
The battle of Teams Big Love, Original Recipe v. Secular. Elder Price might cheat with an actual Coke for this fine tweaker finale.
Ummmm, Finley?
This is not how we throw it away, son.
JaMarcus Russell could show him a few things about throwing it all away.
SpursKAKKE at Wembley!
/goddamnit, shitty wolves
Of course the damn engineers have optical-quality shiny gold helmets.
Selling the Pats game by featuring Rob “One Touchdown” Gronkowski. You know how I know you don’t follow football closely?
tottnem strike first. Damn.
DelleAlly with the nice little header getting it done.
Attempting to give a shit about OOB Bowl in Bloomington. Will see how this goes.
Would that be the Bloomington OOB Bowl, aka BOOB Bowl?
LMFAO
BOOB O’BRADY BOWL
Dammit, shoulda thought of that (must be the DayQuil interfering with the snark circuits)
I’d suggest prunes as your game snack then.
Looks like a sellout in Chapel Hill today.
Translation: Stadium less than half full, mostly opposing fans.
But they’ll call it a sellout.
“Why is no one eating the leftover stuffing?”
“Because some heartless monster put squash in the stuffing. Squash!”
That actually doesn’t sound terrible.
But I ate an assload of leftover stuffing last night. Then had heartburn all night.
LOL U*NC. Nice punt.
Oh wait, never mind.
Hey Maple Football fans: How about them Atlantic Schooners?
Boomer Schooners!
/Fart noise
They’re going to look like the Argos
Will Halifax support it?
Was better than “The Atlantic Storm” I definitely would go put there for a Bombers game.
I’m not crazy about the Storm, but I like it more than Schooners. I think they should have gone with something modern, like the Drones, or Icebergs or Climate Change. Something that’s fucking terrifying for that region, ya know?
Apparently, there was a precedent in 1984?
Cuse with a 75-yarder. No defender in the same time zone.
Dave Doeren just will never learn.
Whoo its Saturday!
Lets go chelsea!!!
LMAO, thanks JV BLEERGH!
Given the number of games I have access to, you’ll have to be more specific.
That’s a new camera angle. Did they put a camera on a referee or did they fly in a drone?
Is Gus doing Mich/OSU?
Yup.
Guess I’ll be flipping between that and the Cuse tilt.
Hey Redshirt, is AJ Green ded? Because I need him to step the fuck up and drag me to the FF playoffs.
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/nfl/bengals/2018/11/24/cincinnati-bengals-j-green-doubtful-play-vs-cleveland-browns/2100777002/
Hurt. That’s why Cincy’s offense has gone to neutral.
Get Lindsay Vonn over to his house stat.
Also, that Marv quote is perfect. “I see better than I hear.” And presumably he hears better than he coaches.
I got so excited by that blizzard-bowl last night that I looked up the weather and there’s snow forecast today in Indiana, Iowa, and Utah, or at least nearby.
Maybe they covered this on the pregame shows but Brick Meathook don’t watch that shit, not when he gots geeses to feed.
Painfully Honest Take: Ohio State is weak this season and Michigan has a bad taste of 6 losses in a row and 13 losses in 14 years and 16 losses in 18 years in their mouth. If Ohio State struggles and Michigan sense blood in the water, it could get ugly.
Counterpoint: tOSTU live in Michigan’s head and the Maize and Blue will shit the bed as if they were drinking water from Flint
Surrounded by 100,000 Ohio State fans, Michigan entire football team behind him. Either choice, Lee Corso is gonna die.
I saw a teaser for a Dave Wannstedt interview of Jim Harbaugh and decided right then and there not to turn on any TVs until I could be sure that risk was over.
Here’s a Beef Wellington I made for breakfast this morning. The secret is I make my own pâté: I keep geese and I force feed those motherfuckers until *voilà!* their livers explode into everyone’s favorite delicacy.
Three weeks later, Brick receives a letter, return address: Elba. It reads:
Dear Brick,
You’ve made a powerful enemy today, dining on my greatest foe’s delicacy.
Yours,
N.B.
I’ll write him back “Dude, where’s your dick?”
The London Jaguras won? What is this strange feeling? Hippo won money so there is that.
Now I understand that some of you don’t like Urban Meyer and/or Ohio State, and an argument can be made that Meyer did the 2nd worst thing ever done by a Big Ten Football Coach and you are perfectly entitled to your opinion, but think about this: Tom Brady played for and supports the Michigan Wolverines, and if you root for Michigan and against Ohio State, you’re on the same side as him.
Happy football watching!
We’re capable of hating both sides.
You are god damn right we can!
thus the superiority of Lesser Footy, where one can root for the draw
Number one is receiving discount (DISCOUNT! Not even free!) tatoos, right?
Lil’ Senor made college football picks based on team colors. Which is why I liked Michigan and Miami.
In fairness I was like 4 or 5. Now I just hate them all!
We got snow here this morning.
That’s kinda messed up.
I need to go back and binge that show.
Take your time. It gets bad
Nah, they rebounded at the very end.
Holy shit, I was thinking of a different show. My bad tWBS. Binge away
osu-mich game has always been at noon, and yet I swear I came home from one once and it was dark out. Maybe that’s this “blackout” thing people are always talking about.
Onita commenting on Trump showing off a border fence design:
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvx3IJ0CVrs
He’d enjoy that way too much
THIS MANCHESTER UNITED SCORING THREAT, I CALL IT WAKEZILLA AROUND EMILY RATAJKOWSKI BECAUSE WHILE THEY MAY BE AROUND THE INTENDED TARGET FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME, AT NO POINT DID IT EVER SEEM LIKE THEY WERE GOING TO SCORE.
This is awesome.
Mainz/Borussia is pretty great on Fox Soccer Plus
TIL that vrv has looney tunes now, so that’s how I’ll be spending my Saturday.
Nothing more frustrating than lesser footy players insistence on making that extra pass when in the box.
You’re down 3-0; blast away fucko!
/also sound advice when on your honeymoon
“Grip it and rip it!”
-Adult Rec League blax after giving a perfect pass
FUCKKK YEEEAAAHHHHHHHH WHAT A BEAUTY!
Seriously what a pass by Sessegnon.
THIS MANCHESTER UNITED SIDE, I CALL BEN AFFLECK AND JENNIFER LOPEZ’S ONSCREEN RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE WHILE THEY MAY LOOK GOOD AS A COUPLE, THEY HAVE ZERO CHEMISTRY ON THE BIG SCREEN.
YEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Woke up Decilitre. I am a loser.
Kid’s gotta learn early.
And now Lester is playing with a red card. Wonderful.
Five team lesser footy parlay up and running: City, ManUre, Liverpool, Everton & Leicester (who have done the ONLY thing I wanted them to avoid, which was concede an early goal. PRETEND BRIGHTON IS A MURDEROUS HELICOPTER DAMMIT!!)
2 great saves by Palace’s goalkeeper.
/changes Man U/Palace game to see how Litre’s Fullham/Southhampton game is going. . .
In all honesty, from the speed and touches, you’d never guess all 4 teams are in the same league. At least Fullham looks good.
This is pathetic. Fucking ridiculously pathetic. YOU COULDN”T WIN A 3RD DIVISION SCOTLAND GAME!!!!
I take it Fulham’s doing well?
THIS FULHAM SIDE, I CALL THEM A DIRTY PRIEST BECAUSE THEY ARE DOING A LOT OF BAD TOUCHES.
Zaha is clearly dangerous. You might want to cover him, Man U.
dry bumming for Hammers
Mourinho pointed out to Man U’s schedule to show how they have a great shot of getting a Champion’s league spot and you know something, he isn’t wrong because teams infront of them are playing each other while Man U get Crystal Palace, South Hampton, Fullham, etc.
Last year when The London Jaguras were in the Championship I looked forward to Saturdays. This year it is dread, every damn morning.
Reporter asking Pep if he’s “worried that Pelligrini knows a lot about City”
Before he gave a diplomatic answer, Pep’s expression on his face basically read as “Mother fucker we’re City and West Ham may not survive Andy Reid”
Conversely, when the same reported asked Pelligrini the same question, he had a look of “I hope we don’t lose 7-0” before giving a diplomatic answer.
I love European coaches.
“Pellegrini is an engineer” is the Chilean “Fitz went to Harvard”.
surely the new manager bump for Mighty Whitey!
/but is it controversial that an I-tie is in charge? That’s a little…southern Europe for White Power imo godbless
I believe he can save the season. I am stupid tho.
Even though we’ll still watch it, the 2020 Euros sounds really stupid with having 12 host cities and the drawing for qualifications being set by that makeshift League Nations tournament that just occurred.
another tally in favour of Most Glorious South American Euros
I really liked the UEFA Nations League. It’s a great idea.
I’m rooting for dees
“WEST ham?”
-Andy Reid, assembling a wagon train to the pacific
Why the hell is there no early fixture???? You mean I have to pay attention to Decilitre???
Aaand he just fell off the kitchen counter. Guess I am not paying that much attention even if no futbol is on. Ehh, rub some dirt on it boy.
Slip him some calcium supplement and Xanax with his milk.
Piss in the dirt, rub some mud on there, and walk it off.