Yes, I have no fucks to give about this year’s Flacco Eight.  What a wretched, boring, vanilla-ass torneo.  But the big leagues in Europe and Sudamerica are back, by God.  So let us enjoy some proper Lesser Footy.

Perhaps you wish to sleep in.  The Premiership has you covered, starting with an eminently skippable Man City thrashing of doomed Fulham (8:30, NBCSN).  Sorry, Litre.  May Mighty Whitey yo-yo right back up.

The 11:00 window (damned disparate Daylight Saving Times) beings you a fairly interesting United v. Moose Hornets tilt (NBCSN), and a “why was this deemed fit for broadcast” Soton v. Brighton fixture (CNBC).  Ah, the time of the season when NBC Sports starts a funereal watch on the sides fighting for survival.  The comfortably mid-table folks (HAI there, Everton!) are deemed likely on coast.  At 30 and 33 points respectively, Saints v. Albion could be a “classic 6-pointer.”

I’d still prefer 7th position Wolves against 17th place Burnley, in a “poison chalice” battle.  Burnley drank from the 7th place Europa goblet this season, and they couldn’t handle it.  Come 2019-2020, it could be Wolves’ turn in the barrel.  Should they hold off Watford, anyway.  Only 1 point separates 7th and 8th, but Wolves are rolling.  This is on NBC Gold, along with Foxes/Cherries, and Palace hosting Huddersfield.  I like Huddersfield for a possible “dead cat bounce” upset, as one can get over 8-to-1 moneyline.

Spotlight dance (1:30) is only NBCSN this week, where Hippo will record Everton visiting Fronk’s Hammers.  Parenting duty sadly calls.  Plus, I am expecting to be pissed off by this one.  Loser can almost forget about a top half finish. Given how both sides’ seasons have gone?  Expect a draw.

Sunday Funday doubleheader is where it’s at, though.  Chelsea take on Cardiff (9:00, NBCSN) in another sleeper match.  Sarri’s misfits have been awful away from there home base (in Fulham, naturally).  Cardiff may be in the last relegation slot on 28 points – but they very much have a chance to claw to safety.  But they have to win their home fixures – even against Top 6 opposition.

Finally, Tottenham meet Liverpool’s asswipes (11:30, NBCSN), with a real chance to give Man City some breathing space in the title chase.  Yes, I will be praying hard here.  Just a draw would do, really.  And with just 4 points separating 3rd from 6th position – Spurs have to chase every point they can.  This promises to be an absolute cracker of a match.

Elsewhere on the continent, our Young Boys host St. Gallen (10:00, Sunday).  You line up Young Boys in front of a Saint?  Sparks.  Will.  FLY.  Hippo’s beloved Swedish Allsvekan and Superettan kick off, promising sweet #HAILGAMBLOR action.  When in doubt, flip to a Bundesliga match.  Borussia Dortmund v. Wolfsburg (10:30 Sat, somewhere in the FS-verse) looks particularly promising.

Down South, Tigres/Murrika (9:00p Sat) and Monterrey/Cruz Azul (11:00p) make for a great late night doubleheader.  Presume both will be on Univision.

ENJOY!!