NFL News:
- Ahead of tonight’s schedule reveal at 8:00PM (“Only on the NFL Network!”), the International Games slate has been revealed. Remember that the “home team” surrendered a home stadium date in order to be guaranteed a Super Bowl hosting experience.
- London Games:
- Chicago Bears vs. Oakland Raiders, Sunday, Oct. 6, 1 p.m. ET, at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium
- Carolina Panthers vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Sunday, Oct. 13, 9:30 a.m. ET at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium
- Cincinnati Bengals vs. Los Angeles Rams, Sunday, Oct. 27, 1 p.m. ET at Wembley Stadium
- Houston Texans vs. Jacksonville Jaguars, Sunday, Nov. 3, 9:30 a.m. ET at Wembley Stadium
- Mexico Game:
- Kansas City Chiefs vs. Los Angeles Chargers, Monday, Nov. 18, 8:15 pm. ET at Estadio Azteca
- Estadio Azteca hosted games during the 2005, 2016 and 2017 seasons and there’s an agreement in place to continue playing games in Mexico City through the 2021 season.
- Kansas City Chiefs vs. Los Angeles Chargers, Monday, Nov. 18, 8:15 pm. ET at Estadio Azteca
- London Games:
- The Chargers are desperately trying to do anything they can to win over fans, and today they announced the powder blues will be their 2019 home uniform.
- Family
liarspokeperson & teambullshit artistpresident of business operations A.G. Spanos proclaimed,- “I’ve talked to our fans, and they love the uniforms and the colors,” Spanos said. “They love the lightning bolt. It’s truly iconic. It’s very special, and we have a great history. When you look at players like LaDainian Tomlinson, Dan Fouts, Junior Seau and on and on, I think it’s important to keep that tradition going.”
- The accompanying photo caption to the story was clearly written by a Chargers lickspittle:
- Family
- Bears TE Zach Miller – he of the gruesome dislocated knee versus the Saints (where his TD catch that caused it was erroneously overturned by the refs) – announced his retirement Tuesday.
- The Bears kept him on the roster so he could avail himself of their facilities for rehab.
- He underwent a total of nine surgeries, and is now able to walk without a noticeable limp, but admitted that he still experiences discomfort after he jogs.
- The Bears kept him on the roster so he could avail himself of their facilities for rehab.
- The AAF has officially filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy.
- Quoting ESPN, the league — under the limited liability corporation Legendary Field Exhibitions LLC — had $11,372,298.68 in assets and $48,366,188.90 in liabilities at the time of filing.
- Some of those assets include player contracts, which the bankruptcy trustee will try to sell to the CFL.
- Because the league set players free from their contracts to negotiate with the NFL – where few of them have options – but figured more would make the CFL so held those as collateral.
- Which is another reason to root against the Carolina Hurricanes in the Stanley Cup.
- Because the league set players free from their contracts to negotiate with the NFL – where few of them have options – but figured more would make the CFL so held those as collateral.
- Some of those assets include player contracts, which the bankruptcy trustee will try to sell to the CFL.
- Quoting ESPN, the league — under the limited liability corporation Legendary Field Exhibitions LLC — had $11,372,298.68 in assets and $48,366,188.90 in liabilities at the time of filing.
Finally, our old pal DrawPlayDave has his artistic take on Jay Cutler helping his wife clear her ducts.
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL:
- Schedule release – 8:00PM | NFLN
- NHL:
- Bruins at Maple Leafs – 7:00PM | NBCSN / CBC (Leafs lead 2-1)
- Predators at Stars – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet (Preds lead 2-1)
- Flames at Avalanche – 10:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet (Avs lead 2-1)
- NBA:
- Pacers at Celtics – 7:00PM | TNT
- Jazz at Rockets – 9:30PM | TNT
- MLB:
- Red Sox at Yankees – 6:30PM | ESPN / TSN2
- Blue Jays at Twins – 7:30PM | Sportsnet1
Well, now that that’s sorted out – GET WITH THE COMMENTS!
Free hockey! And LPGA on a second screen!
Status: Pants fully off.
AVS!!!!
Hockey and ladies golf at the same time?
YOU ARE LIVING THE LIFE
I’ve had to swap out the hockey for Brockmire now.
I think this is an improvement!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKqwX_nTy5c
GET ME ANOTHER BEER, PANTERA, THIS ONE’S WARM!
My gym recently started offering a “gentle yoga” class two days a week. I tried it a few weeks ago and it was basically stretching and breathing, perfect. Went back tonight and it was hard fucking work. But what I want to know is how it’s ok to offer a yoga class for gentiles only?
When they’re all Hindus?
Apollo Creed:
Apollo XIII:
I cannot wait for these to become standard. Especially once the dreadlock extension is added.
Justice burns brightly.
Did anyone hear how GRONK dented the Lombardi Trophy bunting at Fenway?
So you’re saying he’s not retiring to take a professorship at MIT?
Not sure he could spell MIT.
Litre, the Jets need to bring this one back:
http://www.thehockeyfanatic.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/winnipeg-jets-away-jersey-80s.jpg
That’s deliciously cheap-looking. It’s perfect.
It may look cheap but any search for vintage hockey jerseys is decidedly the opposite of cheap.
Also if you wear them you look like Kevin Smith, so it’s not like it’s a winning situation anyway.
My goal is to look like Kevin Smith from a bank account standpoint only.
Jesus. This Jeopardy champ motherfucker set ANOTHER single game record today, winning over $131k. It’s like he WANTS me to beat his ass with the rigor mortised corpse of Ken Jennings. He’s won almost $700k in all. I hate him more than I hate seeing Tom Brady happy, which is a lot.
How is he doing it?
Going hard after the Doubles and then betting like a madman when he hits them.
His occupation is “Professional Sports Gambler (Gamblor?)” and he’s got just a bit of flat-emotion Rain Man going.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoPFkjF-Bdo
The GOAT. I’d love to see a matchup between my boy KJ and new kid on the block.
Gotta throw Brad in there, because Brad has never lost to a human.
Yeah, he’s definitely up there. He only had a chance to win 5, which is a shame. Jennings’ season was the first where they let the champ go forever.
You know, he wasn’t wrong.
I’d make an exception to my “Molson’s is horse-piss” approach when in a package store were I to find these:
https://cdn-blog.scorum.com/production/dddaniel/b620435186a4cc7b_1000
Those are legit cool. I MUST HAVE THEM.
The Avalanche need to bust these beauties out for at least one game…
I think the Devils own the rights to those. So like all good things, New Jersey ruins everything.
Probably true. On both points.
Here I am getting worked on as we speak.
I’m feeling good and deserve nice things so I opted for the Spa Deluxe Pedicure with Preferred Blowjob.
Brick, there’s a heavy breathing guy named Rex on the clubhouse line for you. You want I should take a message?
Tell him I’ll get back to him next year or so. Meanwhile, the abrasive scrub of my feet and ankles is worth the price of admission alone.
My feet are feeling a bit dried out lately. I should schedule my next visit soon.
Can’t imagine getting one. These people have a shitty enough job without having to touch my nightmare feet.
Tip them well. I look at pedicures as proper monthly foot maintenance. You should try it once.
BOTG: Here’s my feet encased in wax. Also, I’m not wearing boots nor are my feet on the ground.
Robert Kraft wants to know how to get that “wax” off your feet, and if you think that’s a viable defense.
This whole episode leads me to believe that Robert Kraft is not the sharpest tool in the shed. I’ve never read his bio but he must have inherited all that money.
So did Nashville decide to not show up tonight?
Shh, Ice Cowboys need to make the conference final!
Nordstrom with the empty netter to put this game…off the rack, for Boston.
why do I find this so deliciously erotic?
Because she got some big ol’ titties, the finest money can buy.
Just a good bra.
Hockey talking guy: “Marleau right in the way on that goal”
Col. Kurtz: “Tell me about it.”
Cowboys announced their schedule by forcing Amari Cooper to record a series of ASMR videos. I am running out of ways to hate that team.
Try rooting for them.
I enjoy playoff success too much for that
That hurts, man.
That hurts.
But not as much as this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uh4JL8UGT8
I made until JJ showed up and then I changed over to Temptation Island
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHQenVnrxNg
[blows conch]
Sucks to your ASMR.
Mapplethorpe Leafs score two quick ones to get back within one goal late in the third.
Why is Marlins Man at a Yankees-Red Sox game in April with neither team at .500?
Doesn’t he have a home?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qK1ga44ZxI
That foul ball guy can eat all the dicks.
For the first responders.
Before I say something awful, is he raising money for them?
He brings it up every interview so I hope he does. If I am not mistaken he is just a rich single guy from Florida who made his money in real estate.
He employs 40 people, job creator!
maker NAWT taker ,, smh
The Yankees are just thrilled somebody will pay for those seats
Bruins now up 5-2, which means it’s Time To Send a Message, Leafs! Be sure to injure a Bruin and get yourself suspended; it’s the closest I can come to my preferred meteor-related outcome.
Kadri falling from the rafters and landing on Marchand would be kinda like a meteor?
Hit him with a chair for good measure?
It appears they’ve taken the bold strategy of scoring goals instead. Let’s see how this plays out Cotton.
Slew-foot Marchand for a change and see how he likes it?
If Canada is so great why did they make Gooby instead of a remake of Twins starring Zdeno Chara and Rocco Grimaldi?
They’re gonna need a bigger hot tub.
On my way home from work and go by where the Leafs are playing. 2 Leafs fans, hammered, on the train going home as they got kicked out of the game. Before the end of the second period. can only guess what those tickets cost. Hahaha
300 Loonies apiece, easy.
15 beaver pelts?
A 1000 dollar Tim Horton Card each.
Complete scumbag
http://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/26547245/nets-angry-76ers-stars-laughing-apology
Assholes in Philly?
Game 3 will be moved farther east on Atlantic Ave.
“The Bruins will win tonight because unsalted saltines and egg salad.”
-Trent Green
found a funny:
Her: Do you know any dog photographers?
Me *imagining a labrador holding a camera* no but I want to
The Bruins will win because Johnny Bucyk is the oldest player (35) to score 50 goals for the first time.
I just worked out that the 2nd cat now staying in my house is my grandson. He’s basically the bastard child my daughter had when she went off to college, then realized she lacked the skills to care for him so left him with me “temporarily” and then for good.
Kruger is now Uncle Kruger, so all know their place in the family hierarchy.
Fuck, do my thoughts get weird(er) during the long desert of baseball season.
At least you have French 2nd div lesser footy!
Really anxious for the Troyes line to go live. Them fuckers is shit-hot and gunning for 3rd.
Also, I would say “I don’t feel old enough to be a grandpa” but that’s a load of shit. Half the time, I feel old enough to be part of the greatest generation.
/you know, except with being a piece of monkeyshit
Those pills really hit home tonight.
This.
Once one has a tolerance, they don’t always hit the sweet spot. But man, when the do, tis mighty nice.
Boston or Toronto? Colonoscopy or kidney stone? Dealers choice.
I still don’t completely understand the Leafs hate, but, I’m also a dipshit MURIKCAN. That said, FACK BAHSTAHN.
Their obnoxious fans are country wide up here. EVERY. FUCKING. WHERE.
Oh, so SAWX FAHNS (since 2004) down here.
Without the winning. With their history they have more older fans who have passed it on to their kids who are now all over Canadia. They haven’t won shit since the sixties and the parade route is planned every year.
As I have repeatedly said, I was born the year after the Leafs last Cup & God-willing I’ll go into the ground before they win their next.
That is some quality hate.
DID SOMEONE SAY MY NAME?
The Bruins will win this because Bobby Orr tied his skates loosely.
NFL Network’s sked reveal is sponsored by the good folks at everyonetalkingoveroneanothercontinually.gibberish.
There’s talk about Knights of the Old Republic being brought to the big screen, so this is a good excuse to point out that the SWTOR CGI movies are the 4th best Star Wars movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfjWANrhl5g
You know what the NFL needs? Another LA team so they can have a California division. That’ll improve the attendance. I’ll even offer up Miami.
Why is Canada better than the US?
At the very least, our old, badly dressed, outdated opinion-having, loud-mouthed, narrow-minded, foreigner-hating celebrity is confined to the first period intermission.
Well ours is confined to a white building in a region of the country not even deemed fit to be a state.
Amazing.
AlcoholPalDick doing his best LCSS impression
LOL… guess how it ends?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=68&v=AY_AJDBvNnY
He fixes the cable?
Sweet Dee Gets Run-over
With a newsman from Cincinnati apologizing for all the carnage?
He sues the good folks at “Turkey Intrusion Security Services” into bankruptcy?
Turkey Intrusion Technical Solutions.
With the Bruins up 2-0 in Toronto, the crowd is so quiet you can hear the sound of an American Express Black Card being dropped by a guy sitting in the lower bowl.
Sounds like they found that card.
It was a team effort, for sure.
Yeah that would not go over well in Boston.
Holy banana fuck balls! I think I’ve been gaslighted by my mother (probably unintentionally, maybe) for more than 40 years.
I had the asthma really, really bad to the point where I was hospitalized for two weeks as a kidling. I was afraid of the doctors so I would tell my mom that I had “gas bubbles under my throat”. My mom just dismissed it without feeling for them. Afterwards, whenever I mentioned it she said that I “must have been dreaming”.
Today-less than an hour ago-I learned about “subcutaneous emphysema”.
I’m in a long Tim Horton’s drive-thru lineup of emotion right now!
I too have had a few subcutaneous Zimas over the years.
Did Indiana name its basketball team the Pacers in honor of the pacemakers that keep the majority of their fans alive?
We also would have accepted, “Because they were told to pace themselves when eating the fried (insert food here).”
Fried mayonnaise
“Do you like, dip that in some gravy?” – A. Reid
Between working out this morning, attending a Dodgers game this afternoon, and watching basketball tonight, today is the sportingest day of my whole year so far.
Nice!
“Heck, I did that for nine years!”
-Eli