Teh Hippo needs a break this weekend, so I’m filling in with the DFO version of Saturday morning cartoons. Sadly, many of our younger readers may not remember a time when networks would actually show cartoons on Saturday mornings and kids would watch them with a cereal or snack at the ready
Man, I’m old.
Anyway, Saturday mornings for me now consist of watching European fútbol with a Modelo Chelada Tall Boy and munching on Sabritones.
The day then continues with college football depending on who is playing and if I have nothing else better to do.
In order to make that decision as to what to watch, you need listings, don’t you? Well, I gave you the soccer listings on Thursday afternoon, so here are your CFB listings for today (all times Eastern):
Saturday, Sept. 28
Texas Tech at Oklahoma | 12 p.m. | FOX
Northern Illinois at Vanderbilt | 12 p.m. | SEC Network
Texas A&M vs. Arkansas (Arlington, TX) | 12 p.m. | ESPN
BYU at Toledo | 12 p.m. | ESPN+
Northwestern at Wisconsin | 12 p.m. | ABC
Middle Tennessee at Iowa | 12 p.m. | ESPN2
Holy Cross at Syracuse | 12 p.m. | ACC Network
Central Michigan at Western Michigan | 12 p.m. | CBSSN
Kansas at TCU | 12 p.m. | FS1
Rutgers at Michigan | 12 p.m. | Big Ten Network
Buffalo at Miami (OH) | 12 p.m. | ESPNU
Delaware at Pitt | 12:30 p.m. | ACC RSN
Clemson at North Carolina | 3:30 p.m. | ABC/ESPN
Southern California at Washington | 3:30 p.m. | FOX
Coastal Carolina at Appalachian State | 3:30 p.m. | ESPN+
Georgia Tech at Temple | 3:30 p.m. | CBSSN
Wake Forest at Boston College | 3:30 p.m. | ACC Network
Iowa State at Baylor | 3:30 p.m. | ABC, ESPN or ESPN2
Virginia at Notre Dame | 3:30 p.m. | NBC
Ole Miss at Alabama | 3:30 p.m. | CBS
Indiana at Michigan State | 3:30 p.m. | Big Ten Network
Florida Atlantic at Charlotte | 3:30 p.m. | NFL Network
Minnesota at Purdue | 3:30 p.m. | ESPN or ESPN2
Akron at UMass | 3:30 p.m. | FloSports
Towson at Florida | 4 p.m. | SEC Network
SMU at South Florida | 4 p.m. | ESPNU
Cincinnati at Marshall | 5 p.m. | CBSSN on Facebook
East Carolina at Old Dominion | 6 p.m. | ESPN+
New Mexico at Liberty | 6 p.m. | ESPN+
Arkansas State at Troy | 6 p.m. | ESPN+
Louisiana at Georgia Southern | 6 p.m. | ESPN+
Mississippi State at Auburn | 7 p.m. | ESPN
Stanford at Oregon State | 7 p.m. | Pac-12 Networks
UConn at UCF | 7 p.m. | ESPN2
South Alabama at UL Monroe | 7 p.m. | ESPN+
UTEP at Southern Miss | 7 p.m. | ESPN+
UAB at Western Kentucky | 7 p.m. | ESPN+
Louisiana Tech at Rice | 7 p.m. | ESPN3
Nicholls State at Texas State | 7 p.m. | ESPN3
Kansas State at Oklahoma State | 7 p.m. | Big 12 Now on ESPN+
N.C. State at Florida State | 7:30 p.m. | ACC Network
Ohio State at Nebraska | 7:30 p.m. | ABC
Colorado State at Utah State | 7:30 p.m. | CBSSN
Kentucky at South Carolina | 7:30 p.m. | SEC Network
UNLV at Wyoming | 8 p.m. | ESPNU
Houston at North Texas | 8 p.m. | CBSSN on Facebook
Fresno State at New Mexico State | 8 p.m. | FloSports
Washington State at Utah | 10 p.m. | FS1
UCLA at Arizona | 10:30 p.m. | ESPN
Hawai’i at Nevada | 10:30 p.m. | ESPN2
Here is your omakase menu for the day (all times Pacific):
4:00 AM – Athletic Bilbao v Valencia (BeIn Sports)
6:00 AM – Juventus v SPAL (ESPN+)
7:00 AM – Getafe v Barcelona (BeIn Sports)
8:30 AM – Bordeaux v PSG (BeIn Sports)
9:00 AM – Texas Tech at Oklahoma (Fox)
12 Noon – Atlético Madrid v Real Madrid (BeIn Sports)
12:30 PM – USC at Washington (Fox)
That should take you through the evening thread. I’m pretty sure the evening thread won’t cover soccer, so I feel compelled to tell you that Liga MX has TWO clásicos on tap today with the Clásico Regio of Monterrey v Tigres UANL on at 5:00 PM Pacific followed by the Clásico Mexicano of América v Chivas de Guadalajara at 7:00 PM Pacific.
And now,
Litre’s Obscure Team that Hippo Probably Bets On Of The Week!
Do you like crazy people? Do you like crazy owners who carry guns? Then do I have a club of the week for you!
Today we head to Greece and take a look at PAOK which stands for Pan-Thessalonian Athletic Club of Constantinopolitans. ΠΑΕ ΠΑΟΚ, Πανθεσσαλονίκειος Αθλητικός Όμιλος Κωνσταντινοπολιτών.
This unit is out of Thessaloniki and are the current Greek Champions which is a fact that I did not know. (Note: they went undefeated and won the Greek Cup as well) The bad news is that they lost to Ajax in the Champions League qualification and also lost in the Europa League playoff to Slovan Bratislava. The good news is that after 4 weeks they are tied for 1st with Olympiacos with 10 points. They have a very international roster with a few Brazilians and a mix of Europeans. I do not recognize a single player so we will leave it at that.
PAOK was originally Hermes ACAC which was formed in Istanbul in 1875. As all are aware the Turks and Greeks aren’t chummy so when the Greco-Turkish war happened these folk (Greek by ethnicity) moved to Thessaloniki which explains the Constantinople part of their name.
When you travel throughout Greece you see graffiti with PAOK tagged everywhere in the Athens. Their supporters are insane and it stems from one man. Their owner Ivan Savvdis and boy howdy is he a handful. The reason that I chose these guys is that a while back I saw an article about a Greek club owner who was brandishing a gun on the pitch.
Ivan Savvidis apologized for his behavioUr two days after the game and he was later banned from all football stadiums for three years. From Wikipedia “Ivan Ignatyevich Savvidi, is a Russian businessman and politician of Caucasus Greek origin. Savvidis is one of Russia’s wealthiest men and was a member of the Russian Parliament, closely linked to the President Vladimir Putin”. There it is, we know all we need to know about this guy.
These guys have a lot of rivals, Aris is their hometown rivals but they pretty much hate everyone including AEK Athens, Panathanaikos, and Olympiakos due to northerners hating Athenians.
They play out of Toumba Stadium which holds 29k and is all seated.
Greek hooligans are just as awesome as their Turkish counterparts just there has been less incidents with English hooligans so we don’t hear to much about them. PAOK’s biggest ultras group is called Gate 4 who are renowned as one of the top 20 thuggish groups in the world. From Bleacher Report “Grecian side PAOK FC are known for their fans in the Toumba Stadium. Known as “Black Hell” to many sides that set foot in the stadium. The Gate 4 supporters are the most infamous and cause the majority of problems that the club is ever known for.” Look up on YouTube what these nutters are capable of, here is a taste to whet your whistle.
There is a lot to unpack here.
-Clearly this is an away game and they are trashing the stadium.
– I enjoy the Greek music in the background, so serene and peaceful, then about minute 7 Happy comes on.
– The Greek authorities try to keep the supporters apart but even barbed wire, 3 empty sections can’t quench the thirst for violence.
– Minute 9 has the boys battling on what looks like a catwalk where there are no authorities with “Moves like Jagger” playing
– The best part of this long video is that at no time is there any football shown.
Firebombs? Hell yes!
Anyhoo these guys are nuts, their owner is nuts and they play AEK on Sunday and I am sure there will be no violence.
***
And now, your Sexy Soccer Saturday ladies! All photos courtesy of the Futbol Babes Twitter account.
***
Finally, I wanted to bring to your attention a YouTube channel that I recently discovered. I don’t know why, but this guy reminds me a lot of BFC, who I’ve met in real life. In any case, he (not BFC, the guy on the video) does a bunch of videos about making cocktails and he’s pretty funny and the camera work on the extreme closeups is pure alcohol-pour-porn. In the early episodes, it was more alcohol-spill-porn, but he’s gotten better at it. Anyway, take a gander and see if you like it:
***
That’s all for me. See you next week!
(118/69)
Terry Pratchett’s most under-rated work? Gotta be his Tiffany The Witch YA series. They are written with so much heart and honesty-despite dealing with topics such as domestic abuse and infanticide. Really superior writing.
I love this series, my favorite still being Wee Free Men. Crivens!
Does she ride the full pipe?
Only helicopter girls can do the full 180.
This Notre Dame team are the early Tom Brady Pats teams: they’re not really that good but all the calls go their way.
Notre Dame makes the right people shitloads of money. Go figure.
BC: let’s take a delay of game penalty on a field goal attempt, and have the kicker make the FG anyway!
Next play: fucked up snap, incomplete pass. Turnover on downs!
What is a catch: JV flavor!
“Play Like A Pylon Today”
-sign touched by every Notre Dame player exiting the locker room, 09/28/19
:belch:
“You’ve gotta do better than this! My ridiculous salary is on the line here!”
-the halftime speech of every Power 5 Conference football coach ever
Just reading that pisses me off.
Just reading that pisses me off
Your contribution to Balls’ Pornhub search adventure will not go unnoticed.
Apparently i should give AHS another try.
https://gfycat.com/likelyinfiniteamethystsunbird
totally not going to give it another try
I’m not saying that being tied with IU at halftime is a good benchmark that your team is overrated…….
I have no idea how to end this joke…..
…i stand corrected
BC. Putting all beer stands on one level is poor design. Just saying
Among the Elgin Marbles at the British Museum are a bunch of fighting scenes. Most have been damaged over time. Some are missing heads, some are missing arms; but ALL of them have had their dicks busted off.
“Lorena Bobbit? Worst hire ever!”
-British Museum HR
Mark Sanchez needs to shave a little more closely. He looks kinda dirty.
Didja get the email I sent you?
Yep. Responded, too.
Got it!
VIRGINNY SCORE!
/I like it when the Notre Dame loses
Fuck Notre Dame
U*NC fans have bought into what Mack Brown is selling.
Timeshares. He’s selling them timeshares.
Correction: Mack Brown is selling U*NC fans raffle tickets for the local Knights of
the ConfederacyColumbus pancake breakfast.Halftime in Newton*. BC 17-17 Wake Forest. Surprisingly entertaining JV match.
*BC has no property in Boston city limits.
All is now right with the world. Too long without beer.
According to the instructions at the bottom of your glass I should ‘Plurse Gank Bablonskiy”. I’m not gonna promise anything, but I will try.
And yet even if Clem loses, they probably still win the ACC with one loss and get into the playoffs.
Looks like Clemsoning is back on the menu, boys.
“Menu? Boys? Where?”
-Mark Trestman, filling up his Free Candy! van
Did they replace Clemson with the Dolphins and forget to tell everybody?
Uh, what is going on here?
U*NC leads the Sons of
the ConfederacyClem with 5 to go in the 1st half.h
ttps://pbs.twimg.com/media/EFhM566XkAY5m31.jpg
That’s lovely.
So embarrassing to have a typo on your underwear. Strange, too, since they spelled it right earlier.
The BC marching band apparently only knows the first 5 measures of Oh Fortuna! And they like that song a lot.
Tutorial’s done: https://giant.gfycat.com/WideReliableCygnet.mp4
My man.
Sarah Silverman’s younger Latina sister really has her shit together.
Gotta be Cooper Kupp’s sister.
Dee Kupp, on a good day.
Pretty sure the BC student section has only 20 people in it
20 virgin nerds you mean?
It goes against everything, but do we root for U*NC to upset Son of Clem?
/spits on ground
ACC football! Catch the excite!
Still beats UNM home games. Although I’m curious about the turnout at this game the Lobos are playing at Liberty.
Live BOTG? We’ve gotta set up a paywall for this sort of content.
Of course she’s Mexican…
Si senor!
And, of course, this was the edit. The original is longer but becomes NSFW
Wait, really? Linky?
h
ttps://i.pixxxels.cc/8PTKjVdK/3LuZObi.gif
So it does.
She puts the “tramp” in trampoline.
depression naps are GREAT because always available (except RedZone Sundays), but I have no remedy to stop dreams
brain, I hate you every bit as much as you hate me
I’m SO glad you were able to post the gifs!! For some reason, I couldn’t figure it out.
I can make a tutorial for gfycat. Just a minute.
Sweet!
“Texas A&M’s qb Mond means the world to me.”
-French college football fan
from aTm to ATM on BeIn
Now do that thing with your tongue!
Toddlers fucking suck. This past week, Toddlerzilla inexplicably decided she never wants to sleep and barely eat, and has decided to develop seperation anxiety from her mom and can’t stand me for no reason. This would all be fine except Mrs. Zilla has been out lots and I’m stuck with Toddlerzilla.
We were having a blast for the past few hours and like a switch went off in her irrational brain, she is having a meltdown because the Mrs. isn’t here.
If I jump out the window of the third story head first, that’d do it, right?
Not with the ground not frozen yet. You might want to go play on the #2 highway.
“We were having a blast for the past few hours and like a switch went off in her irrational brain, she is having a meltdown”
Sounds like my last girlfriend…
Once again this is making parenting sound great. 1 month until baby sharkbait shows up…
Yeah it sucks but it is hilarious as well. Beware of teething and the mood swings.
/insert metaphor FOAR lief
Celibacy seems like the better option every day
if I could go back, I’d have a vasectomy on my 18th birthday
“Kids acting up again? This is a common problem that has an easy solution. First, fill your bathtub 2/3’s of the way up. Not too hot! You don’t want to burn your hands and forearms. Next, announce, “There’s ice cream in the bathroom!”. I’m not going to lie-there will be some flailing but not for long. If you’re not sure you can go through with this, practice on a pet.”
-excerpt from Andrea Yates’ advice column
Fat lady in JerralWorld crowd with a shirt that says “Go Pig Or Go Home”
I wear that shirt to the bar every week, no dice so far.
The long-since disproved argument, “she deserved what she got because of the way she was dressed” actually carries a lot weight here.
Just woke up from a snooze. Wife and kid are still sleeping, I really shouldn’t wake them to take Decilitre to swimming as he has a bit of a cough right? RIGHT?
/looks across room at wine fridge and smiles
Have you already done your visit with Game Time?
Yeah 3 weeks ago. Went to a lovely brewery in Whitby. The woman on my team that had to go to your town said it was absolutely lovely the afternoon she was there!
You COULD take Deci swimming with a cough in -2 weather, but then you’re risking him getting super sick. Let them sleep!
That is my thinking. If he was up I would have gone, but let them sleep I believe.
The Texas in the AM/Arky tilt doesn’t suck bull balls.
So I’ve got this hiking route that I do. It’s a combo of two different trails and a back road. The first time I did it, it took 85 minutes. I’ve whittled it down to 80, then 75, then 65 minutes over the last few weeks. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m thinking about how I can add extra kilometers so I can get back to a 90 minute workout.
Today I did the usual route and ran (jogged) parts of it to see how much further I could decrease my time. I got back into my vehicle and checked. 83 minutes! How?! I ran part of it! Have I been gaslighting myself? Did I experience an anal probe quickie courtesy of The Greys? WTF?
Try this again?
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tjt1_jHvkBY&w=560&h=315%5D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tjt1_jHvkBY
I feel stupid. I feel useless.
Finally, someone that really gets me!
Hey Balls, last night you said I should send you an email. I can’t figure out how to find your email address on this here site. Please instruct old techno-tard.
If you click on my name on a comment, does it take you to a page with my information? It should. If not I’ll email you.
Just sent you an email to the address you used when you first created your DFO account.
Uncle Bill went to the optometrist the very next day.
To his credit, he got some decent horizontal distance before landing.
How is aTm 2-2 but still ranked?
Losses just mean more in the sec
If you are asking about ass To mouth, I think our resident porn expert is around.
That’s an easy search…
Also I do enjoy the How to Drink YouTube channel. Dude is what I want my column to be.
I’m glad you like it. I thought of it the same way. I see his videos as a visualization of your posts.
I’ve been watching Binging With Babish, even though I’m still a lousy cook between that and Sunday Gravy.
Tailgating without a car is weird, but also successful. Did a drop-off of the cooler and wheeled all the stuff in to a clutch spot. Let the drinking continue