Sexy Friday, June is also a girl’s name edition

Enough has been said about protests and all that, so I won’t discuss that subject.

Most of the major European soccer leagues are returning soon. Sports are slowly and surely restarting, which is a good thing.

***

Sprots News

By this time next week, AFL will have already played the first games since March! I can feel my excitement growing every day. Those of you that are International Members have the Watch AFL package with your membership and can watch through their app.

If you’re not a member, you can still get the Watch AFL app and catch every game. Most games are on the weekends going from the evening to the early morning in North America. Don’t forget to join the Tipping Contest pool!

***

Without further ado, here are this week’s dirty dirty Tik Tok girls. Enjoy:

That’s a good use of face masks…
This should become a meme.
More masks, this time pink.
Twins!!
White scrunchy is distracting.
Hi! I’m Plenty. Plenty O’Toole!
There’s something about a girl that wears leopard skin patterns.
Belly button piercing? Check.
I’m not lil after looking at that.
Exercise is important!
I really should put in a pool…
Nice tongue action.
I Want Candy – Bow Wow Wow
You read it here first: Undercleavage is now a thing.
Time for some milk!

***

And now, the next episode of our new feature!

As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!

My aim each week will be to showcase a tune or band from the 80s (the best decade EVAR!) that not many people know about or have heard of. In this way, hopefully these artists will find new audiences and the old audiences can reminisce about what they were doing in the 80s.

Today’s band was named after Mark Sanchez’ theological philosophy. I speak, of course, of Heaven 17.

They were a trio from Sheffield that released their first album in 1982, like last week’s band. I was in middle school then and I was fully embracing the new wave sounds coming from the UK. The first song that was played on the radio (KROQ here in LA and a handful of stations around North America that played new wave back then) was “Let Me Go”.

Heaven 17 – Let Me Go

It was the 12″ remix, however, that would stick in my brain. I absolutely love songs that go 2 minutes in without saying a word. Pure instrumental and danceable bliss:

Heaven 17 – Let Me Go 12″ remix

Again, I invite you to imagine a Young Balls in a dark middle school gym dancing with a cute girl while the long version of “Let Me Go” played. Those are great memories.

Heaven 17 would have another minor hit in Los Angeles with a song called “We Live So Fast”. I’m not really sure if it was all that popular elsewhere.

The band started getting involved in collaborations with other artists and didn’t release another album for a long time. By then, the New Wave days were gone and other styles were in vogue. However, for those two brilliant years of 1982 and 1983, Heaven 17 shone like the stars in the….

Sorry.

***

That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and try to maintain the social distancing so that cases/deaths don’t spike and the easing of regulations doesn’t stop. See you next week!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

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Brocky

Apparently its just us moose

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

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Brocky

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Brocky

Darn it all, I did the stupid thing where I fall asleep too early then wake up later for no reason.

Anyways, gifs

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Switching to straight rye.

Mr. Ayo

I just made the executive decision to continue drinking until I physically cannot.

Not sure if I’m rooting for passing out or a reversal of fortune.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s the spirit!

yeah right

It got a little out of hand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orIy18qIaCU

Beerguyrob

As long as we’re getting serious about drinking songs,

https://youtu.be/4z2yNxfBRM4

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hard to believe this was only five years ago. I was looking for the old Andy n Alex puzzle but wound up here instead. This stupid puzzle ate up like 20 hours of my life.

https://kskkommenters.wordpress.com/2015/05/29/weekly-puzzle-elishas-pen-pal/

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Cannibal Andy Reid’s dinner order.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLX5Nym9fcs

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Half?!”
–Any Andy Reid

Horatio Cornblower

“Cannibal” Andy Reid is just Andy Reid stuck in traffic in an Uber at lunch.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m good for one more, so you fuckers know what that means…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuz750Braks

Mr. Ayo

I was totally expecting you to blow this last opportunity.

Then I refreshed.

And you totally redeemed yourself!

Horatio Cornblower

Sounds like my honeymoon.

Horatio Cornblower

“Aw fuck, Horatio’s drunk and on YouTube again”
-DFO clubhouse, in unison

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FIUvCTaBeM

Mr. Ayo

It’s times like this we must all embrace our inner Seamus and spam the shit out of the clubhouse with our own terrible musical tastes.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, if you’re gonna invoke his name…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTYq66Tx1GY

Horatio Cornblower
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Horatio Cornblower

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

I just got hammered on Peachtree Schnapps and threw up on my shoes because this is so 80’s.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvuetnVoxIs

Horatio Cornblower

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Thank you for your support

Horatio Cornblower

Goddamn the 80’s were weird

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSIn7g1h7YA

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Horatio Cornblower

Underrated movie.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought so too!

Barry Sonnenfeld’s cinemetography was very conspicuous of someone who was going to move on to bigger and better things.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

So apparently the two things that kill bigger black men in Minnesota are the police and training camp.

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus Christ I should not be laughing as hard as I am at this.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

See I can’t be racist because the first time I ever had feelings for someone was Toni Braxton in the “Unbreak My Heart” video. Uncle Ed thought Tyson Beckford looked like ‘that Seal guy without the fucked up face’ though.

Horatio Cornblower

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

This picture makes me horny

Horatio Cornblower

It’s just getting me drunk, but if I can make it to 2 am I’ll probably hit on it.

Horatio Cornblower

The crowd shots are goddamn outstanding

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80WyBxo0Hto

Also, those boobs are clearly factory add-ons

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Her titties are natural; they were stuffed in her signature plastic bra. She did spreads in various adult mags and they were definitely not plastic. She may have had them done later. So I’ve heard.

Horatio Cornblower

There’s no way I’m gonna argue with Moose about the breasts of 80’s pop stars. I know my lane.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I heard this from a guy that’s done his research. Well, and Terry Bozzio; great drummer.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In 2009, she was convicted on animal cruelty charges after unsuccessfully trying to rescue sick and feral stray cats.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have switched from bourbon Manhattans to rye Manhattans.

That’s my story.

Dunstan

We all have to make adjustments to adversity.

Mr. Ayo

Modern problems call for modern solutions.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’ve switched from heroin Manhattan to Molly Manhattan! All you have to do is cross Houston Street!

Horatio Cornblower

“It’s pronounced ‘Huston'”
/Some fucking local when I asked where ‘Houston Street’ was.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

It’s actually pronounced ‘urban hellscape filled with Midwest hayseeds who are bored of the country’

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Not cool.” – Stedman Bailey

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Huh, I bet you uncultured assholes would upvote Cash’s shitty cover of Hurt over these.

Let’s find out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AHCfZTRGiI

Horatio Cornblower

Not gonna lie, I like Cash’s version, and I like Cash, but it is not getting my vote over NIN fucking shit up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You mean this one: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurt_(Christina_Aguilera_song)

I like Cash’s version and never got into NIN, but will very seldom think a version is better than the the original writer/ performer’s version. They wrote it with the artistic intention of how it should come across. It’s a great song and I think that is why Cash recorded his version, some people do do version for that or tribute, others seem to do them for their own ego, or because they think they are a bigger name, or just for plain CASH MONEY.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

At some point I need to stop drinking and go to bed.

Now is not that time.

Sharkbait

My vodka tonic agrees with you

SonOfSpam

You East Coast guys are my heroes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

That’ll be me getting out of bed tomorrow and going for the Gatorade.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not even wearing a cape.

Yet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beerguyrob

Thanks to Sharkbait for validating my spring drink of choice. I’m drinking double Dark & Stormys in his honour & for my pleasure.

Sharkbait

Glad to be an enabler.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[gives Horatio a hug for giving me the inspiration I need to pour myself another Jack Daniels]

Gratliff

Watching Tetsuo: The Iron Man. This is definitely a movie.

Horatio Cornblower

Watching the Yankees play the Orioles from last year, just to see if tWBS fucks with me and gives the Orioles a win.

Senor Weaselo

Spoilers: Gleyber goes yard.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Dear Lord everyone sucks

Dunstan

Mel Gibson’s father is right; the Catholic Church really has changed the Scriptures.

SonOfSpam

That’s a mass I would attend.

(I would not)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Drew Brees PR firm works quick.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

That is not the Catholic school I went to.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Would you have enjoyed it more if it was?

Horatio Cornblower

Dear god yes.

Not that I would have been any more competent with the (Jerry Lewis voice) LADIES, but at least the scenery would have been better.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Hold out your hand and let me rap your knuckles sharply with this ruler.

Gumbygirl

We had this tiny old crone nun, Sister Domitilla- I swear it was her real name! She used to run that big old wedding ring they all wore up and down your spine, grinding it in, during lunch if she felt you weren’t suitably grateful for the food. Nasty old bitch, I hope she’s on a rotisserie in hell with Sister Mary Andrew.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Ok, this one made me laugh out loud.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Saving money on the Alpo down to the Winn Dixie, anyway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Just saw someone with the screen name of W.E.B. Du Brees, which is probably as good as it’s going to get

Sharkbait

Damn that’s good

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Lots of fun being had at Brees’ expense

Drew Brees 48 hrs ago / Drew Brees 10 mins ago pic.twitter.com/c2hy8W2nKZ

— BUM CHILLUPS, NPR CLASS PUNDIT (@edsbs) June 6, 2020

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Drew Brees tomorrow pic.twitter.com/F3xpAl6t8H

— Lo (@LoPannEsq) June 6, 2020

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

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Gratliff

A day later, Drew Brees is posting in support of BLM protests. It’s all very stupid and centered entirely around protecting his personal brand, but fun to watch dipshits who were fawning over him yesterday getting very Mad Online about it and condemning the league again. Most importantly, it gives me an excuse to post good Malcolm Jenkins photos.
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Horatio Cornblower

He’ll hit both knees for the anthem, but the soles of his shoes will say “AD” & “VO”

Dunstan

It is of course disingenuous, but this is also what victory looks like for a social movement. When people start pretending that they always supported you all along, you just grimace and say “oh, of course, we appreciate your support.” And laugh privately, of course.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

What the?
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herodotus450

“Fox News: Correlation, What’s That?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Mirror meet douchebag.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Dr. Mrs. worthy. Such a perfect distillation in just a single, unretouched image.

SonOfSpam

“Up next on Fox News: Part 35 in a series about how black people’s misfortunes help us good folks”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t know if I like how FOX is conflating stock market spikes with assassinations of black people. I hope a flaming C-5A full of flammable liquids accidentally crashes into their office building while they are all in attendance.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

As long as the crew is okay.

Dunstan

I think it’s not so much “spikes” as it is the lack of drops. This is the “don’t worry, your 401(k) is safe” counterpoint to the “Antifa is coming to murder you in the suburbs” melody.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“But they still are coming to murder you. Unless the Orange King takes the gloves off and sticks it to those dirty libs.”

Brick Meathook

Rodney King didn’t get assassinated, he got beat up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The source and the correlation makes sense, because the wealthy, the rich and their sycophants are fucking assholes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Randy Rhoads died much too soon in much too stupid of a way
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDVLMS_Yhe4

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Yes and yes.