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Crowning a #NuAIDS-Era Shempion – Monday Night Open Thread

King Hippo

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All good things come to an end.  The same maxim applies to Wahoowa’s two year reign as Hoopsball Shempions, provided we don’t have a zombie apocalypse prevent the conclusion of Zags v. Bay-Bay tonight.  West Indy against South Indy, in the clash of our lifetimes!

Everton threw away a win against Fucking Palace, because everything sucks and life is shit.

1S Baylor (+4.5) v. 1W Gonzaga (9:20, CBS)

You will be surprised to learn that Hippo doesn’t have money on this one.  Nor was I able to find live odds on whether or not I fall asleep during the action (again).  I will likely be listening to KMOX in the build-up, which won’t help matters.

As to the game itself, it’s classic “Best Offense” (Zags) against “Best Defense” (Bay-Bay).  It’s not just during the sex act where the Bears care not for your consent!  Baylor’s 6th man would make a great long, lost uncle (or pimp?) of Randy’s on Trailer Park Boys.  Mr. Lahey’s ghost says take Gonzaga and the points, bud.

Discussion item FOAR the class – Does Jim Nantz dream in Pleasantville?

Enjoy the game, or whatever other meaningless distraction(s) y’all have in mind.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lately I feel like I’m as close to succeeding at work as the GWS Giants this season.

1
SonOfSpam

Angels fans just threw an inflatable trashcan on the field. Because the cheating Astros are in town.

Proud of those drunken idiots.

4
Beerguyrob

The As fans were clearly heard on the TV broadcast yesterday afternoon, banging something that sounded like trashcans & screaming “FUCKING CHEATERS!”

1
Brocky

horatio and span, if you’re still here, i wrote and answer below

0
Brocky

also, thanks for reading
comment image

3
SonOfSpam

Totally with you on “not a top 5 all time player” – but he was damned good.

(My top 5, requested by no one – Kareem, Jordan, LeBron, Magic, Wilt)

2
Brocky

mugsey bouges will not stand for this insult

I mean, he might, he’s pretty easy to lose in a crowd

4
SonOfSpam

Per inch? Muggsy and Spud are all-timers.

(Also Brett Favre in a way)

2
Doktor Zymm

This is where Gavrilo Princip shot some fat Austrian dude with a kickass mustache. Too bad he didn’t wait 25 years and kill a skinnier Austrian dude with a shitty mustache.

sarajevo.jpg
5
Don T

comment image

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Gumbygirl

I don’t know how “fair and balanced” this paper was. Published by divine right? Ummmm….

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Doktor Zymm

They should have waited about 55 years and been published by Divine, right?comment image

3
SonOfSpam

Lookit that shit-eating grin.

2
Don T

“I think… Art Deco eyebrows tonight”

1
Senor Weaselo

And then he sang “Take Me Out.” And then Princip did!

1
Doktor Zymm

Apparently his family HATED Sofia, but it’s possible that they were just upset at him blowing his entire allowance on mustache wax

1
SonOfSpam

She had the chance to spell her name like a famous Italian actress, and instead chose the capital of Bulgaria.

1
Brick Meathook

comment image

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Gumbygirl

Aha!

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Doktor Zymm

I’m going to start greeting people with “How fares Europe?”

2
Brocky

wasn’t until last year i realized the irony of this song name

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ijk4j-r7qPA

2
Doktor Zymm

About Macedonia. When Yugoslavia broke up and the Balkans went all ethnic Battle Royale, the current country of Macedonia, which is about half of the region of Macedonia, actually split off a bit earlier and gained entry to the UN in 1993. However, Greece (official name the Hellenic Republic), where the other half of the region of Macedonia is, and which claims Alexander of Macedon (aka Alexander the Great) as Greek, along with a bunch of Macedonian symbols, decided to be little bitches and object to Macedonia being called Macedonia. There’s a bunch of confusion about ethnic Greeks who identify as Macedonian because they’re from the region, and ethnic Macedonians who form the majority in the region. ANYHOO, when the Kosovo portion of the Yugoslav wars kicks off in 1999, Kosovo borders Macedonia and the conflict started to leak into Macedonia, where there are a bunch of ethnic Albanians who think a northern chunk of the current country (a chunk which does not overlap with the ancient Macedonian empire) should be Albania. So just like everywhere else in the Balkans, you have a blend of ethnicities and most of them want the historical boundaries of their largest empire, and they moved a bunch of families around waaay back whenever they were the dominant power so everybody is all mixed up. Anyway, while the Albanians probably have a decent case for a chunk of Macedonia, Greece really doesn’t, it’s more like Macedonia has a decent case for a chunk of Greece. And since Greece was easily the most stable nation in the ’90s and early 2000s I think it’s pretty shitty of them to throw a hissy fit and insist on Macedonia being admitted to the UN only provisionally under the name The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia (abbreviated as FYROM) and then eventually strong-arming them into changing their name to The Republic of North Macedonia, while still objecting to that and to their demonym of ‘Macedonian’.

TL;DR The Greeks are bullies and I’m gonna call it Macedonia just like the people who live there do

4
Horatio Cornblower

I think it would be easier to just go to Disney and maybe hit Epcot a couple of times.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The acronym TRON-M is definitely a step up, though.

1
Doktor Zymm

But if they didn’t have the ‘N’ they could go with TROMA and have a gory film partnership! They could partner with the town in Georgia where Stalin was born and make a gory Gori film! With zombie Stalin!

3
Horatio Cornblower

Just saw this on Twitter. If it’s true it says a lot about the stupidity of the tournament seeding.

With the loss to Baylor, Gonzaga is 1-12 vs. teams seeded 3 or better since the 2001 NCAA Tournament.

I

2
Downfield Matriculator

Only if Gonzaga was seeded higher than 3 in all those games though, right?

/some of my best friends are Jesuits!

0
Horatio Cornblower

Good point. I don’t know the answer to that question.

0
Downfield Matriculator

Me either, but I has had some scotch and am more argumentative than I ought to be. Game ends too early to go to be on the West Coast so I am still hanging around causing trouble here!

0
Brocky

larry bird was overrated as fuck.

I’m from indiana and I’m allowed to say that

1
Horatio Cornblower

I’m genuinely curious as to the basis for that statement.

0
SonOfSpam

1) He hates whitey (fair)
2) He has never seen basketball
3) Larry turned him down for a blumpkin in a Stuckey’s restroom 11 years ago

Last edited 5 years ago by SonOfSpam
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Horatio Cornblower

I’m certainly not the biggest pro basketball fan around, but I seem to recall Bird being pretty good.

0
SonOfSpam

Only if you pay attention to his skill level as a basketball player. As a bagpipes player he was subpar.

2
Brocky

1. i mean whitey does suck. (I’m white)
2. basketball was actually my first love. i loved the bulls in the 90s, played youth basketball up until middle school, I assumed i would play basketball all throughout highschool like my dad, uncle, and my two older brothers. we were definitely more of a basketball family growing up.

3. that Rude gentleman was simply wearing a bird jersey, and he didn’t know what he was missing

1
Brocky

i guess my tone is a little harsh.

i just always kinda got an underwhelming feeling when I saw footage of him playing. he was definitely worthy of the hall of fame,

but to see him so consistently regarded as a top 5 PLAYER of all time? over guys like Abdul-Jabbar and Isaiah Thomas? better than julius iriving? Over Kobe Bryant? what about Wilt chamber? magic Johnson?

and to this day there are fuckers on message boards trying to take Jordan and lebron down a peg.

and I’m sorry but his race clearly played a role in his popularity. my grandma didn’t know Jack shit about the NBA but she vividly remembers rooting for him over magic johnson in college, and years later had a preference for the celtics

i also see an annoying parallel between him and tom brady. people fell in love with their “humble origins and knack for late game heroics, and never wanted to hold them accountable for things other players got criticized for or for their professional failings .

in short, I’m tired of hearing how great this dude was.

1
Don T

Better than Dr. J and Isiah fo sho’. Man I watched a lot of NBA in the 80s.
Could’ve used some porn.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

https://youtu.be/FoC7fw21_Ps

1
Doktor Zymm

I prefer Big Birdcomment image

2
Downfield Matriculator

But he played the game the right way!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5kaRbokoo8

0
Senor Weaselo

They got the Waco bombing all wrong, they’re not supposed to be the ones doing it!

1
SonOfSpam

I really think Waco is how all church-adjacent activities should end.

3
Horatio Cornblower

As long as they serve coffee and donuts afterward, as the Lord has commanded all Sabbath celebration should end.

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

“Snacks and coffee and punch and cookies in the basement!”

Last edited 5 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
2
SonOfSpam

“Yeah, right next to the gasoline-soaked kindling.”

0
Doktor Zymm

I think they just ran out of MDMA so the rave the ATF was throwing was revealed as actually lame

0
Downfield Matriculator

Mercury Morris just sent a case of champagne to Quinn Buckner.

/old guy references– man the 70s were great!

5
SonOfSpam

(estate for the late Bill Buckner wondering what the fuck’s up with the bubbly)

0
Senor Weaselo

Hey, Baylor and the under won!

0
Brocky

comment image

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Brocky

timely reference

and yes I had this image ready for tonight

0
Brocky

and before you get shitty about Bobby’s politics, if your school’s biggest sports scandal is an 80 year old white guy being a bigot, you’re probably doing okay.

1
Downfield Matriculator

You can be a coaching genius and an asshole. I mean look at his protege Mikey K.!

3
Downfield Matriculator

And Bobby’s 1987 championship was more impressive — if you can name another player on that team besides Keith Smart (he of the shot), you are a true Hoosier fan

0
SonOfSpam

Wasn’t Steve Cocksucking Alford on that team?

1
Downfield Matriculator

Indeed — Mr. Basketball hisself. I don’t have any used fleshlights so you’ll need to be satisfied with the knowledge of a job well done.

3
SonOfSpam

I’m just happy knowing Alford is nowhere near the UCLA coaching offices.

2
Downfield Matriculator

Cronin was a good hire — a guy who built up a smaller program and has some fire still

2
Horatio Cornblower

Bobby Knight’s politics are almost as shitty as Bobby Knight.

1
SonOfSpam

Not just a bigot, but a horrific piece of shit all around.

1
Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people, looks like the mobile site kinda works now. (Do polls work yet?)

Considering everything we should have known Baylor would be masters of back door cuts.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dr. Mrs. has commandeered the TV to watch Downton Abbey. She was right to do it.

0
Mr. Ayo

But you’re going to miss One Shining Moment!

Ok, maybe “miss” isn’t the correct word there.

0
Gumbygirl

I just turned it to Hoarders.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Lifted the program from what, Jim? Tell the people what Scott Drew has lifted the Baylor program from!
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4
SonOfSpam

Somewhere, Ken Starr is smiling*

*he sees a dead puppy

0
SonOfSpam

I guess Baptists are just better than Catholics in every way.

0
Brocky

i try to tell Notre dame fans this and noone listens

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What a shitty, shitty game.

0
SonOfSpam

-the guy who said “Let’s play whatever Najeh wants to”

Last edited 5 years ago by SonOfSpam
1
Horatio Cornblower

“get the lingerie on the deck; call the janitor.”

I like Bill Raftery a lot, but what the fuck?

0
Brocky

lingerie?
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2
Horatio Cornblower

She seems nice. Possibly a mannequin, but nice.

2
Doktor Zymm

Second Life maybe?

2
Brocky

she just borders on uncanny valley.

but she doesn’t cross it

2
SonOfSpam

“Pick up the buttplugs and wipe up the santorum”

1
Horatio Cornblower

I’ve seen more convincing effort in games that were being thrown.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think UCLA deserves a 30% share or so of this national championship for how much energy they sucked out of Gonzaga.

4
Horatio Cornblower

Gonzaga looks like they’ve quit.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh did you tape the game and are just watching the first ten minutes now?

1
Horatio Cornblower

Don’t tell me how it ends.

0
Brocky

yoda dies!

0
Horatio Cornblower

GODDAMMIT!

1
Doktor Zymm

Add in the L and they’ll have a quilt!

1
Horatio Cornblower

I think Gonzaga’s main problem here is that Baylor is much better at basketball than Gonzaga is.

1
Brocky

honestly I think Gonzaga is exhausted after Saturday’s game,

0
Horatio Cornblower

Love listening to Nantz praise Baylor’s coach for rebuilding a program into a cohesive unit that has gone an entire season without murdering one of their teammates.

4
litre_cola

Did they sexually assault anyone this year?

1
Horatio Cornblower

No*

*Year is not over yet

2
Gumbygirl

You know they did. Everyone knows they did, but Baybay don’t care!

2
Doktor Zymm

It was an effort this year, what with campus restrictions and all, but they pulled together, pulled through, and in an inspiring came-from-behind story, STILL managed some sexual assault!

3
Brocky

I just googled “baylor player killing”

i didn’t know that was a thing. huh

1
Horatio Cornblower

It’s really an amazing(ly horrifying) story. Baylor* not getting the death penalty after a bunch of murder and rape tells you all you need to know about the NCAA.

*And Penn State. Never forget Penn State.

2
Doktor Zymm

In aviation nerd news, there was a major outage of (probably) ITS today, which is a Google system that pretty much all major airlines use for their scheduling/booking systems. For 1-2 hours today you couldn’t search the schedules or book American, United, Delta, Alaska, and a bunch of other non-US airlines. It was weirdly exciting.

1
blaxabbath

Next two years are going to be so strange as we rebuild our supply chains.

1
SonOfSpam

Prolly cuz Delta said that thing and is woke and spirit doesn’t see color

2
blaxabbath

But I’m sure playing six important contests a season (no more than two after New Years) will bring Gonzaga another undeserved one seed and out next year.

1
blaxabbath

Last night both my men’s and women’s pool brackets were confirmed second place.

$0

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

So, MLB All Star game to Coors Field.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah, the Coors family, never once have they failed to come through for a progressive cause.

3
Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, c’mon, whaddaya expect? Their founder’s name is Adolph, fer chrissakes.

4
Horatio Cornblower

Adolph Coors, putting the ‘National’ in National Socialism since (whenever Coors started brewing their watery piss)

3
blaxabbath

Boebert gonna attack it.

0
SonOfSpam

Voting suppression bad, legal weed good.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Today I learned that “kaiser” and “czar” are derivatives of “Caesar”.

2
Doktor Zymm

It’s way more obvious when you learn that Latin didn’t have a soft c, we should have been saying Kaesar salad this whole damn time

0
Horatio Cornblower

Wait until you hear about ‘Tsar’!

0
TheRevanchist

I am now at the phase of the game where I am not watching, but checking out the score updates. Therefore, I have some generalities to spread:

The refs are giving it to [Team].

They need to put pressure on the ball.

This team is playing stiff and really needs to get some quick penetration in there.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also the Raiders have committed some really terrible defensive penalties.

/sure it’s six months early but always a safe bet.

2
blaxabbath

I got no idea what they’re trying to build with this roster. It’s aimless. Reminds me of UA’s program — but no one expects them to be seriously thinking they’re going to succeed.

0
Doktor Zymm

comment image

I think I’m going to visit Macedonia in July

6
Horatio Cornblower

Don’t you have to say ‘Republic of North Macedonia’ or something like that? I recall Greece getting all snippy about the name a few months back and thre being some deal worked out.

0
litre_cola

My thoughts as well. Saw the changed name in international futbol.

1
SonOfSpam

That’s how we know Zymm has been hacked. She definitely woulda said North Macedonia.

1
Doktor Zymm

Whatever, the Hellenic Republicans can go γαμώ themselves

1
King Hippo

Question #2 FOAR the Class – Who’s MOAR Trestman-y – Few or Drew?

0
litre_cola

2 states south or 1 province north and Few would have 5 wives and many, many children.

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

And a truck with truck nuts for sure

0
herodotus450

Well that was a competitive (checks notes) 13 seconds of a championship game.

2
litre_cola

As someone with Baylor ML and under 160.5 it is bound to change.

0
litre_cola

Well the under will fuck me. I figured there would be defense.

0
Doktor Zymm

Nah, Americans can’t agree on funding for de fense

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do Q-tards believe the only Powerade that isn’t contaminated with chemtrails and 5G nanobots is #17?

Last edited 5 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Google tugging the heartstrings there.

0
King Hippo

These Bay-Bay kids!
They don’t die, they MULTIPLY!

0
litre_cola

Evenin. After a 4 day weekend of drinking wine I seem to have the shakes. Can’t understand why.

0
King Hippo

You stopped drankin, silly goose

1
litre_cola

Caldas is up 1 Hippo, bulleee dat.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Nothing wrong with washing some wine down with a couple of shakes.” – Andy Reid

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY LITRE_COLA I CALL HIM SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA EARLY THIS MORNING CAUSE HE HAS THE SHAKES.

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Baylor seems to have unlocked the strength of the Pedo-Bear.

0
Redshirt

(3.2 seconds after Gonzaga’s game winning shot)

CBSSports Expert: “Baylor & Gonzaga: What We All Wanted!”

I’ve never been gladder to be a loner. Have fun watching the game tonight!

0
herodotus450

Well it’s been a long, busy day, too bad I missed the game, let’s just check the score…hasn’t even started yet… Who are the ad wizards who came up with that one?

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The time the “Add Wizard” came to his classroom was a day that Eli will never forget.
comment image

3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

What about the long division wizard?

0
ballsofsteelandfury

If Gonzaga wins, would they become the only undefeated National Champions? I remember UNLV came close one year, but no other team.

0
Sharkbait

The Uconn women have done it.

2
Horatio Cornblower

More than once, and I think at least one other women’s squad did it, possibly Baylor.

0
Downfield Matriculator

7 times before on the men’s side, last time in 1976 when we were all much younger (or before many of y’all were born:

1975-76 Indiana
1972-73 UCLA
1971-72 UCLA
1966-67 UCLA
1963-64 UCLA
1956-57 North Carolina
1955-56 San Francisco

0
Redshirt

Per the John Cena rule, its not a valid championship until they face Duke.

1
herodotus450

Darnold traded for the draft pick equivalent of a pile of wet socks, to the Panthors.

2
scotchnaut

“Don’t underestimate wet socks, they have a tremendous amount of value.”

-Dobby McDobberson, ESPN sports reporter

4
Warthog

I still ain’t touching them.

-Any parent of a teenaged boy.

3
Redshirt

…and I still think Carolina got fleeced.

0
Sharkbait

Last place in the small NCAA pool. Nature is healing

1
TheRevanchist

All the excitement of the game yesterday has me worn out. I might have to nap through this game and, if Zags win, then get out of bed to go eat.

1
scotchnaut

Many commends to The Hippo for guiding us all the way thru the tourney despite the fact that his heart wasn’t really in it.*

*reminds me quite a bit of the last four years of my professional career

7
litre_cola

15 for me.

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