Sorry Ravens rb Gub Dedwards, this does not apply to you. That’s shitty, what your ACL did to you earlier today.
So I hope you’ve got an extra special beverage and your very favourite snackie for the opener. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? We powered through with the help of the Euros, the Copas, the CONCACAFFEINATED and the Olympics among other thingies. But the time for speculating is done. (I’m kidding, we’re just getting started)
Thought I Had While Hiking-
Brady doesn’t seem completely unlikeable anymore. Whaa? I mean, I haven’t by any means done a 180 on the guy but now I don’t reflexively wretch when I see his visage. This gives you an idea of the extent of the pall that Belichick’s curmudgeonly arrogance casts over the Pats franchise. I don’t buy into any of that ‘Brady showed up Belichick’ nonsense. The former is just a damn good football player that has always put in the work and should be respected for that.
TO THE GAME!
Cowboys/Bucs:
-some prop bets that may interest you-
Zeke 53.5 rushing yds (meh)
Brady 306.5 passing (too high?)
A. Brown 4.5 catches (who knows who will have the hot hand?)
-Much has been made of the Bucs returning all starters but I think that injuries might take a toll this year. As for much being made on tudder side, far too many folks think that DAK! and the gang are going to pick up exactly where they left off before he went down. I say ‘Nope’. They’re going to be good, sure, but I think it’ll be a while before they hit their stride. If they fix the D, they’ll crush the latter half of the sked.
-Speaking of that D, all eyez are on one Anthony Brown at left cb. He’ll be picked on by opponents until he wracks up some int’s/collapses under the pressure.
-This is where Brady is going to go methinks. He has that habit of probing weak spots early on and then seems to go away from that player but then comes right back at him over the course of two, three or four consecutive sets of downs.
-Are you picking the Bucs for your Survivor Pool?
Well, that’s it. Those folks that have been on the sidelines, “WELCOME BACK, WE MISSED YOU!” To others that have thought about dick jokery, (joke dickery?) climb on board, it’s gonna be a great ride.
Since this didnt come through earlier
Unrelated:
https://twitter.com/samthielman/status/1436108575735263237?s=19
I was *just* reading that. It’s so goddamned funny. Like, Starnes *really* didn’t know? What a fucking loser, how many times do you think he got ditched by his “friends” in high school?
Every single time?
After he paid for the beer, of course.
“Todd, if you watched real news instead of that place you USED TO work, you would not have to ask this question.”
Who owns Edwards in fantasy and forgot there was a game tonight? This guy.
After that totally-ignored OPI call during TB’s last drive, it’s hard to deny that Brady’s refs all migrated from NE to FLA with him. I hope all them fuckers get the COVID and die on the ventilator.
Mike McCarthy is wondering if he can sign Aaron Rogers for one play to throw a Hail Mary.
“Come on, Aaron, you and I have been through so much! We’re like family!”
Fuck.
OPI, but no way that gets called on a Brady pass at this point in the game.
Plus, I’m honestly not convinced that wasn’t something of a flop, could have gone either way
Goddamit.
I want Z to make this and then JJ leap up, clutch his chest, and fall over.
Just saw an ad for Jack Daniels Tennessee Apple and have a suggestion that will quadruple sales: “Now with Ivermectin!”
“Good for what ails ya!!!”
I sure hope my insurance company (USAA) isn’t insuring motherfucking NFL players. Those bastards can afford to pay full price. Like with Manning or Mahomes or Rodgers.
What about with Pat Till—oh.
Ceedee Lamb is a goddamn stud.
A lot of Cowboys fans are going to fall asleep tonight thinking of Lamb.
“Chiefs coaches, too.” – Andy Reid
With maybe a little mint sauce!
I must have been thinking of him in advance, I bought some lamb chops today.
I’m in!! That was an ordeal, not gonna lie! But it’s lovely to be here, and see some familiar peeps! We missed you!
How’s Gumby?
Relieved his hearing is over. It’s in Social Security’s hands now, que sera, sera.
I think this is the most frustration the DFO site has given me in like forever,
I thought the new host thingie was going to solve all of our problems? Oh well! It’s not just tonight though, logging in has been an adventure for a few days, for me anyway.
Why take that out? At least this can lead to a hilarious missed fg
You will pry McCarthy’s chance to settle for a FG from his warm, sweaty hands.
Oh shit, this game just got interesting.
SUDDEN CHANGE!!
Do you know why this server keeps crashing?
We don’t have enough submarine stories to keep the Russians away.
This is the “sink a ship or blow up the world” story
I was an engineer who worked back aft operating a nuclear power plant, and that’s Not an easy job when you’re doing it underwater in heavy 32°F seas.
But our weapons department was pretty impressive too. They weren’t as handsome as us but they were good men.
Our main battery was sixteen Trident C-4 missiles, each with eight nuclear MIRV warheads. To fire those it had to be explicitly authorized by the President of the United States and then radioed to us by SUBLANT (Submarine Forces Atlantic Fleet) and then there were five different senior officers on our boat with keys around their necks who all had to agree to a launch.
The Tridents were taken very seriously.
Our secondary battery were Mark 48s, the standard torpedo of the U.S. Navy and many other allied nations. It is a conventional high explosive weapon, and has a very smart guidance system and it is very lethal. It has a range of 25 miles and it will find its target regardless of whatever pathetic evasive action the target ship tries to take. The 48s will find them.
If a 48 misses the first time, it will automatically circle around for a second pass. It will make a hit. That ship will go down.
They don’t hit the side of the target ship, they explode with 1000 pounds of high explosive beneath the target ship, which will crack most anti-submarine surface warships in half like a bread stick.
We are 25 miles away. We are not picking up survivors. That’s your problem.
Fortunately we never did it. We never hurt a soul.
Our joke was “We are in the killing business, not in the getting killed business.”
But really we were in the scaring business.
The Russians were afraid of us, and rightfully so.
Well, Marko Ramius could outrun a Mk 48 until it ran out of fuel.
(Just made that shit up, sorry).
It’s going to be interesting to watch the civil war begin, the continued collapse of civil society, and the NFL season all at once.
I didn’t think I could hate Collinsworth more but here we are. He just said the rookie was the top wrap tackler in the nfl
We’re going to have a Barely Legal Women’s Final at the US Open.
Wonder if the marketing people will latch onto that theme.
Call me Craig James, because I’m killing a hooker.
Great. “In Theaters Only.” Now, not only does my governor want me to die, so does fucking James Bond.
For Your Lungs Only
Thats not Lamb.
I got an error about the first server error. That’s good hustle.
The only thing more disappointing than watching Brady win is watching this site crumble under the pressure of the first game of the season.
All posts are now generating NFTs
me realizing that I passed on Amari Cooper to take Mike Evans is right up there.
I have Evans and I’m playing against Cooper if that makes you feel any better.
/last year of FF for me
I’m playing against Antonio Brown, so twinsies, I guess.
Gronk with another vulture-down
Grok on the bench and Evans and eilliot starting this guy’s liver ain’t going to make ot
Server must be based in Baltimore
What did we do during ballgames before there was an internet?
Drank.
Oh, hey, look at that.
Look at hustlers
Talked shit with my grandpa and uncles. All of whom would have fit right in on a Superfans sketch.
Reminder: brady wasn’t actually that good his first few years In the league. He was the ultimate game manager
Not sure if it posted, but despite almost pepper spraying an apartment… the steak wasn’t half bad! The Reaper powder and salt were present, but it wasn’t an overbearing hot. So hey, I call that a win.
Server error, must…post…sexy…
Surely posting high resolution pictures of hot women is the best way to relieve the traffic load on our webserver!
It’ll relieve some kind of load, anyway
/looks around for high-five, which never happens.
*Hands already occupied, sorry*
Bullshit PI pass on Adams.
Shocked, not Shocked that McCarthy isn’t using his running back
It’s a sound strategy against Tampa, which makes me think Moore came up with it rather than McCarthy.
Are the gerbils running in their exercise wheels again? Is this site working?
Did the hamster powering the server die?
Is it just me or are the rest of you getting this “Internal Server Error” shit?
Nibbles is a little out-of-shape after the off-season, OK?
That’s what happens when you only have 3 preseason games!
I did once but something is amiss.
SIFN UP FOR PEACOCK DAMMIT> PLEASE THEY BEG OF YOU! DREW NEEDS TO FEED ALL OF HIS CHILDREN
Money league opponent sat both Godwin and Lamb and 23.7 points so far. Wheeeee!
Server choking on it hard.
Will the site let me comment now?
Only if you are chaste and of good merit.
Must make a sacrifice to the football and server gods
Post’lor must be appeased
GOD BLESS
Zeurblind, gentlemen.
4th and 31 isn’t easy to convert.
Easier to convert Mary Queen of Scots to the Holy Mother Church.
Thought troy-shinyaka was one of the outlying villages in Chernobyl
Is my FF opponent starting Antonio Brown?
Of fucking course he is.
Phantom facemask. Bad call Young Guns
Fuck you wordpress.
I put out the internet dad signal.
Mike Evans didn’t buy enough TB13 merchandise
Anthony Brown is the Greg Zeurlein of cornerbacks.