Sorry Ravens rb Gub Dedwards, this does not apply to you. That’s shitty, what your ACL did to you earlier today.
So I hope you’ve got an extra special beverage and your very favourite snackie for the opener. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? We powered through with the help of the Euros, the Copas, the CONCACAFFEINATED and the Olympics among other thingies. But the time for speculating is done. (I’m kidding, we’re just getting started)
Thought I Had While Hiking-
Brady doesn’t seem completely unlikeable anymore. Whaa? I mean, I haven’t by any means done a 180 on the guy but now I don’t reflexively wretch when I see his visage. This gives you an idea of the extent of the pall that Belichick’s curmudgeonly arrogance casts over the Pats franchise. I don’t buy into any of that ‘Brady showed up Belichick’ nonsense. The former is just a damn good football player that has always put in the work and should be respected for that.
TO THE GAME!
Cowboys/Bucs:
-some prop bets that may interest you-
Zeke 53.5 rushing yds (meh)
Brady 306.5 passing (too high?)
A. Brown 4.5 catches (who knows who will have the hot hand?)
-Much has been made of the Bucs returning all starters but I think that injuries might take a toll this year. As for much being made on tudder side, far too many folks think that DAK! and the gang are going to pick up exactly where they left off before he went down. I say ‘Nope’. They’re going to be good, sure, but I think it’ll be a while before they hit their stride. If they fix the D, they’ll crush the latter half of the sked.
-Speaking of that D, all eyez are on one Anthony Brown at left cb. He’ll be picked on by opponents until he wracks up some int’s/collapses under the pressure.
-This is where Brady is going to go methinks. He has that habit of probing weak spots early on and then seems to go away from that player but then comes right back at him over the course of two, three or four consecutive sets of downs.
-Are you picking the Bucs for your Survivor Pool?
Well, that’s it. Those folks that have been on the sidelines, “WELCOME BACK, WE MISSED YOU!” To others that have thought about dick jokery, (joke dickery?) climb on board, it’s gonna be a great ride.
Why did New England get rid of this guy?
Update: Except for the part I nearly smoked an entire apartment out, the steak is quite good and furthermore has a very nice kick. I call this a win.
Steak too healthy for opening night needs more cheese
And Bill Russell’s eleventh ring is EXACTLY WHERE YOU THINK IT IS
Riffing Queen
Sabalenka looks like if Natalie Portman ate a LeRon Landry size helping of steroids.
Dallas doing the usual, raising expectations, and then later crushing them.
Dickfingers
Haha, eat shit Brady!
I would be ok with bannering this just on general principle.
Greg ZeurleinotgonnabekickingforDallasnextweek.
So Jones III drops an Interception in the end zone denying me points in fantasy. Then Jones II fumbles leads to me losing points.
You probably shouldn’t be keeping up with the Joneses.
I think Collinsworth just taught us something about Bruce Arians, but damned if I have any idea what it was.
Zueroffline
Nailed it 2: Electric Boogaloo
DOINK!
LEYLAH!
Dude, this ain’t a Clapton show.
I mean, I probably have a window open somewhere in the house…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TngViNw2pOo
Saw a tweet posted elsewhere that said if the vaccine were George Harrison’s wife, Clapton would damn sure take it.
The server hamster did not get back into shape in time for the season start.
Arians got that Ghostbusters pack on
That’s his invisible fence harness to keep him on the sidelines.
Wasn’t Arians the guy that used to wear a beret?
Brady playing Candy Crush Saga
Dallas recover a fumble in perfect position to miss another FG.
Guess you have to settle for a missed extra point.
Zeuerofflien
X2
Shank’lor first sacrifice of the new season
just a bit to the left
Nailed it! – Blair Walsh
The best kick I’ve ever seen since preseason 3rd string tryouts.
And repeat.
“Nailed it!”
–Blair Walsh
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
Srsly WordPress is choking on its own dick here.
Update: I seem to have made pepper spray smoke.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC8Elk1LRjs&ab
Kudos to Kellen Moore’s play-calling-keeping TB off balance.
WordPress is making me miss the old KSK yellow bar.
Oh WordPress how I’ve not missed you
lol my opponent benched antonio brown.
also, a father and son are starting dak and lamb against each other
Cryptocurrency commercials with Tom Brady make me seriously consider giving up watching football.
Empowering the masses by paying Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen to feature in our crypto commercial for the good of mankind.
That RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! stadium is pretty impressive looking. Though like Phoenix, it does seem a monument to man’s hubris.
A monument to Zoomer financial services too
Tawmmy with ALL the commercials
Big dumb sex idiot
Gronkdown!!
Gronk-down. Haha
Okay, if that referee making that face isn’t a GIF in Quotables, that what are we even doing here?!
Ooh, a new season of quotables!
I miss the Treasure Island pirate boat
More Server Errors than the Queen Anne Applebees. Don’t care here either.
The new ginger Hammer. Brady musta hired godells mutant 2nd cousin on the line
Fernandez v. Sabalenka (artist’s conception)
Here comes Gronk’s first TD of the year. Book it.
Look at you!
you called it!
“nailed it…wait, you mean I really nailed it? No way!” -Blair Walsh
Well, the good news about living in Grandpa Weaselo’s apartment is I get to try and cook. The better news is he apparently can’t have beef so I can season my steaks the way I want and not have to worry about killing an octogenarian Romanian man.
Welcome to Senor Weaselo’s Apartment of Pain, I guess?
BLEERGH HOT MIC!
Gotta say, Brady is so good at putting throws into the smallest of windows, just like Danny Dimes.
[remembers the time he got grounded for putting a throw into a small window] – Eli Manning
Has anyone had more success with less talent than Blake Shelton. Fucking Gwen is a victory for slightly chubby guys everywhere
BLEERGH in mid season form already