Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.  

Some sad news today.  I’m wearing pants instead of shorts.  While I know that we’re fully a NO PANTS operation, it’s just getting too cold for shorts and I’m too old to be cold.  Fuck, I’m turning into my parents.  CLOSE THAT DOOR ALREADY YOU’RE LETTING ALL THE HEAT OUT.  Shakes head. Sorry where was I?  The today’s high is 18 C ( 64 F) and the low is 10 C ( 50 F) and it’s one of the warmer days this week.  I hung on as long as I could.  I’m surprised I made it into October before needing pants but also with the whole climate change thing, I figure in a few years southern Ontario will be one of the last habitable places in the summer.  

We get a new car yesterday, so while liking the new car ( Hyundai Kona N-line), not looking forward to the payments.  Though, to be fair, with the work that needed to be done on the old car, it was going to be close to a car payment for the next few months, so think it balances out.  And while I like driving and cars in general, financially they are a pain in the ass to pay for and maintain.  Do something congress.  

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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I went from “I hope Andy Reid is okay” to “How could that rich, privileged walrus whose habitat is literally the water get dehydrated for?!” so quickly, I’m a bit concerned.
Redshirt

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So it turns out Andy Reid was just dehydrated. The underling in charge of his gravy and bbq sauce bottle has been fired.
ballsofsteelandfury

I heard they hooked him up to one of those chocolate fountains. Wish the media would get their stories straight. smh…
scotchnaut

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Why no manning cast until week 7?
Sharkbait

The principal said Eli could be Hall Monitor and, darn it, Eli isn’t going to miss that for anything.
Redshirt

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“Trayvon took it to the house!” and somewhere in Florida, Robert Zimmerman’s trigger finger got all twitchy.
SonOfSpam

That guy can’t get hit in the head by a comically large anvil soon enough.
Horatio Cornblower

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I haven’t been around for a while but I just reset my password to tell everyone that Peyton said “I hate ball holders”
trollsoharduniversity

Tell that to the training staff, eh?
King Hippo

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I almost shelled out a kidney for Lundqvist retirement night tickets. I still might, but that will be later in the year, when I can build up the funds so it won’t be as big of a hit
Sharkbait

Just don’t sell any of your liver. Some of us might need it someday.
Dunstan

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You are awesome Fozz. We love you, and we missed you when you were gone. Jobs come and go, but dick jokes are forever. And alpacas. So many alpacas.

Gumbygirl

So, uh… are those alpacas single? Or are they a package deal? An “al-package,” if you will?
Anthony In TX

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Here’s another submarine story. I hope these don’t bore you.

This is the ”contacts” story.

A nuclear submarine has an enormous amount of sensing and detecting equipment. When we were surface transiting we had all of it in use. I was an engineer but I was often a bridge visitor so I saw all of this.

When surface running, we had three main sensor systems, and our “contacts” were classified by the sensor system that was detecting them.

Sonar contacts were designated as “Sierra” contacts and given a number (e.g. “Sierra 14”). Radar contacts were designated “Romeo” contacts and also given a number. Visual sightings from the bridge cockpit were designated “Victor” contacts and they too were given a number.

Down on the conn they were plotting and comparing all this contact information, and doing all the math. Believe you me, a lot of math gets done on a submarine.

So on the conn they would analyze and compare all the Sierra, Romeo, and Victor contacts and determine if it was the same thing. If so, then the Sierra, Romeo, and Victor contacts would be removed and designated as a “Master” contact, and this would also be given a number.

This was “tracking.” And in the busy North Atlantic, this was a constant process, but this was our business. We knew where everybody was.

One night I was a bridge visitor, and there was a light on the Eastern horizon, spotted visually, so it was designated a “Victor” contact. Just a dot of light on the horizon. However, sonar and radar were reporting no contacts in that area. This was not making any sense, yet we could clearly see it.

Finally, they sent up night vision binoculars (extremely exotic in 1984) and we took a look at the Victor contact.

It was the moon, in thin crescent stage, coming up over the horizon.
Brick Meathook

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It’s incredible that the Party Of Financial Responsibility, Reduced Spending, And Fiscal Conservatism is so good at spending our money, but when the bill comes due, they decide “nah, fuck that, we ain’t payin’.”
Meanwhile hardworking American government employees get to bear the brunt. Party of the Common Man, my ass.
Anthony In TX

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So tomorrow I drive 3 hours each way to get a new pug. Decilitre is higher than Michael Irvin in the party house.
litre_cola

“I Want a New Pug” is my favorite Weird Al song
Dunstan

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Very nice slamming. I can’t imagine a less inspiring motto than Accreston’s “Industry and prudence conquer”. First, that’s totally deluded; conquerin’ requires marauding animals. Second, sounds like a total motto for bus parking, 0.7 goals per game counterattackers.
LOVED the Brewers, crest and review.
Don T

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Is there a way to see the eliminator standings? All I can see is a group summary.
Col. Duke LaCross

I don’t think there are standings. You’re either in, because you had the courage of your convictions* to stand with the Bengals, a truly bold and inspired pick, the sort of pick that leads to you hoisting a gently used fleshlight at the end of the year, (until your wife tells you to put that disgusting goddamn thing down), or you’re out.

*forgot it was Thursday and that you meant to take the Saints over the Giants, then got really lucky.
Horatio Cornblower

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These Bengals, I call them any random DFO commenter in the morning, because they are tired, hungover and embarrassing themselves in front of everybody.
Redshirt

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[this is a collection of jjfozz posts from Friday night. It’s been put into chronological order.]
October 1, 2021 9:52 pm
Hello fuckers. Had to to go to a fucking social event for my son’s 8th grade thing – he’s going to my rival school’s lower school.

i hated eveyrone there

and drank

fuck them

i[m still drinkingl

October 1, 2021 9:54 pm
ok look, they’re nice, but theyre really white. i’m whtie, but i got that background that is lower class blue clollar so not really white, like white waspy fucks

so yeah i hate all of them

mrs. fozz told me multipe tiem tonight to stop drinking and smile

and “make friends”

yeah, my ass.

October 1, 2021 10:00 pm
so…none of you tools are awake. k. i’m going ousdite to drinka nd pee around thte shed to keep the slugs away

fucking slugs

FEAR MY PEE

October 1, 2021 10:02 pm
I GOTTA SAy thanks to all of you because man this year has been shit, and i’m really luck to be albe to post stupid shi and hav epeople be all like, “Fozz, you are good.”

So, thaks to all of you.

now I gotta go burn down thte shed.

October 1, 2021 10:16 pm
there was a guy tonighta t this social and the minute i saw hime, all i wanted to do was punch him in the dick

like curly a hir, the glasses, jeans that werent’ elv levis’ stupid shoes

he whousl have had a sign above thie his head that said “CUNT

October 1, 2021 10:19 pm
tongith i apid fo rdrinks fuck, hold on. i paid or drinks for me and my buddy and hiw sie wife and it came out of my company! and it was so good, that work i ddid helped me take care of a good friend. sure it was like 100 bux but fuck, still fel t good

i need fried chicken so fucking bad right now

i woudl seriously ride a camel to the fried chicken joint in my hood
c
chiken

October 3, 2021 7:23 pm
reviewing my comments from friday night, yeah no wonder i fell asleep on the floor. didn’t even make the couch.
jjfozz

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GUYS!!! Gumby’s disability was approved! THANK DOG.I was starting to think about selling a kidney. We are so fucking relieved.
Gumbygirl

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These refs are definitely Catholic because they have no problem with young men being illegally held.
Redshirt

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He is definitely a pug. He is 8 weeks old and has the same mannerisms as Oxipug did when he was a puppy.

litre_cola

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I told you my neighbor I know to say hello to came over yesterday to invite me to her church lady group? Did I also tell you she is unvaxxed, and she and her husband have their own “regiment” which includes the horse dewormer? I was backing up so hard I tripped on my stairs. Get the fuck gone, unclean spirit!
Gumbygirl

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Crowd’s getting testy in Philly.
Gumbygirl

choose your warrior

Spur

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My daughter brought home porn from school today. SMH they’ll let them read anything.

Anthony In TX

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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