Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.
No snow story this week for y’all. While it did snow, was only a slice or 2, so meh for snow up here. It has been “warm” aka around freezing, so was able to scrape the most ice off my driveway. I’m not sure why, but being able to get the ice off the driveway has always made me happy. I get that it will eventually melt off by itself, but like to help it along. I’m also the crazy guy that clears the snow off the sewer grate that’s out front of my house, so it drains better. And I get to play in the water. Yes, I’m still a little boy at heart.
As some of you may remember, we got bunnies in the summer. They are a good addition to the household and we got lucky with bunnies that are pretty calm. Talking to friends with bunnies, theirs destroy everything in their path and need constant supervision and need to be kept in a cage when not watched. While ours have chewed on a few things, they are good for the most part. They are good enough that we don’t put them in a cage when we are not around, they are just free roaming. The little one doesn’t leave the one room, so isn’t too much of a worry*. The bigger one, goes all over the house and its funny to hear him running up and down the upstairs hall.
If you look at that picture, the we’ve put those foam workout matts on the floor to keep our floor from getting totally damaged and to make it easier for the bunnies to get around as they slip on the hardwood. However, the little one does like to eat the matts. This is what she did to one of them.
Mmm foam matt.
As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts. Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
I would like to thank AT&T for not allowing me to watch the fantastic end of the first game, but to also be unable to watch the second game. I got over slideshows when I was in middle school. My wife would like to thank AT&T because of their incompetence I spent the evening paying attention to her and helping her with some household chores. Fuck AT&T.
ArmedandHammered
Hey does anybody know Redshirt’s address?
https://www.etsy.com/market/bengals_bandana
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Andy Reid choking in a conference championship game? Crank up the 98 Degrees because it’s the mid 2000’s again!
JimU
So I recently reactivated my online dating profile, and I have to ask, what the fuck is up with women in their 40s who check “don’t know yet” on the “want kids” question. Biological clock issues aside, shouldn’t you have figured that shit out by now?
Dunstan
Wait wait wait. You did this without our input?
Please post all the answers to questions you filled out so we can help to edit them. You’ll never get a date if you have standards, and that is step one where people go wrong.
TheRevanchist
Well, I did mention that I regularly talk to imaginary friends who don’t wear pants.
Dunstan
The accounting courses I took while in college are paying off. Just finished my federal tax return and I’m getting a refund even after taking a good size chunk of an IRA distribution!
This retirement thing may work out after all.
yeah right
Claiming all of us as dependents was the right move.
SonOfSpam
Also we are “special” so he gets more.
litre_cola
Sharkbait
Do I need to watch Rack Focus 1 to be able to follow Rack Focus 2?
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Traditionalists usually start with Rack Focus IV: A New Grope, and then go back and watch the others and bitch about the lousy CGI
Downfield Matriculator
New York, always the center of the universe for Nuyos
Don T
Found a funny;
Textbook example of what happens when you maintain expanded Unemployment Insurance for a few months, and start hand out $1400 checks.
rockingdog
Well, even though I’m not there, you can tell I’ve been accepted by Senorita Weaselo’s family, because they gave me a red envelope for Lunar New Year.
Senor Weaselo
Unfortunately it was filled with mailer coupons instead of cash. Maybe next year!
JimU
Very well written, Maestro [ Brady retirement post].
Now with the aim of forgetting Tom Brady as quickly as possible, if it’s true that the WFT is to become the “Commanders” can we collectively agree to refer to them as the “Commies” moving forward?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
They should call them The Commodores, because they’re Easy on Sunday Morning.
Gumbygirl
Dick Butkus’ Twitter game is fire
Gumbygirl
Gronk is definitely an outdoor pet.
Dunstan
The FBI, or more specifically, the USG, puts thier (your) money where thier mouth is on burner phone use. My gvmt phone is a tiny Nokia. The boys laugh at me every time I need to whip the stupid thing out. One time going through security at a US Embassy I had to turn it in and the guards marveled at it absolutely cracking up at the well dressed man with the cheap ass phone. I just looked at them deadpan and told them to “be careful with that”.
2Pack
The boys laugh at me every time I need to whip the stupid thing out.
Also, they make fun of your phone.
SonOfSpam
Should have seen that one coming.
2Pack
– Helen Keller, at her bachelorette party
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Bengals can’t wear their alternate (orange) jerseys because they can’t wear alternate uniforms in the playoffs and are forced into their Home (black) or Away (white) jerseys.
Rams can wear their alternate (white) jerseys instead of their off-white Away Jerseys due to permission from the NFL.
Cincinnati can’t host a watch party at Paul Brown Stadium because NFL won’t allow the Super Bowl to be broadcast in an NFL stadium.
Just to show that the NFL is being assholes to everyone regardless of race.
Redshirt
Now Hue Jackson is saying he got paid to lose. This Flores lawsuit is getting interesting and I am here for it
Sharkbait
Found a Funny;
Nurse: “The Bengals are going to the Super Bowl”
Lifelong Bengals fan who just got out of a 7 year coma: “Wow, I can’t wait to share this news with my city’s favorite Silverback Gorilla”
rockingdog
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
It’s a picture of the evilest man in the world and Cobra Commander!
JimU
[from the back channel, tooo good nawt to share]
We’re gonna call danny Commander in Queef now, right?
Dockotr Zymm
LOL
Washington Commanders is too long
Ima call them the Washington Commies
rockingdog
“I have here in my hand a list of 53 Commies in Washington!”
“Yeah, we know, it’s the roster for Sunday’s game. You’re not funny, dad.”
Dunstan
I was at the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake. Some random memories:
1) Seeing various NHL stars at the airport
2) Watching a certain hockey journalist be very chummy with the head of the NHLPA at a bar. During the subsequent NHL lockout, I noticed a certain slant in said journalist’s writing.
3) In the same bar, noting my belief that you shouldn’t be an Olympic sport if you have a “kiss and cry area” and getting a snort-laugh from a then-notable hockey broadcaster
4) Possibly a different bar, having some guy brag to me about how he worked for Fox Broadcasting, at which point I mocked them for their stupid glowing puck.
5) Having one of the ladies volunteering at the entrance to the Mormon Temple see my Team Canada hockey jersey sincerely ask me if I was one of the players
6) My friend and I exiting the arena after Canada’s narrow win over Germany in the round robin and snapping at other Canadians that we are obviously in trouble if we barely beat the Germans (we were not)
7) Having everyone tell us how sorry they were that Canadian figure skaters Jamie Sale and whatever her male partner’s name was got screwed by the officials.
Sadly, #7 has been tainted by the fact that Sale recently came out in support of the idiotic “trucker convoy” in Canada. She was fucking adorable back then, I may have referred to her as my future wife.
Dunstan
I swam 2500 yards today. That’s a personal best by a good 700 yards.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Who thought Italian ponchos were a good idea?
BrettFavresColonoscopy
I feel that Zymm has a velour edition of that.
litre_cola
Great Britain has the best flag ever.
End of transmission.
Don T
You forgot to switch to your Cecil Rhodes account
Dunstan
I just Googled curler Shannon Birchard, and one of the top results was one of BC Dick’s posts here. (Yes, ok, Google probably knows I visit this site a lot, but it still amuses me.)
Dunstan
I laughed.
litre_cola
Did Brownsville Road take a shower beforehand though?
/this is a very important question.
scotchnaut
Today’s wordle is trending because so many people had a tough time with it, which is gratifying because the Dr. Mrs. and I both got it in 3. We actually had the exact same second word.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
It’s almost like you finish each other’s sandwiches!
King Hippo
“A wordle is a sandwich.”
-Anon, Canada
scotchnaut
“The ice is hard, and mistakes are coming!”
Luge announcer just now, inadvertently writing the tag line to Balls’s “XXX Games: A Winter Olympics Porn Parody”
Horatio Cornblower
LOL
Just saw something very important
rockingdog
Last Funny;
Hahaha!
rockingdog
Redshirt
Anyone else remember when downhill skiing was dominated by someone from Lichtenstein, which I still doubt is a real country?
Horatio Cornblower
I remember Franz Klammer, who somehow wasn’t a lesbian porn star.
SonOfSpam
I got home in time for the tail end of the ice dancing. I went to Redlands to buy a fridge ( the one up here is dying a slow, painful death, so it is our thank you to my sisters in law for letting us live up here for two years.) Took wayyyy longer than I expected. We’re supposed to close on our house tomorrow, woohoo!
Gumbygirl
U-S-A! U-S-A!
MAD-I-SON! MAD-I-SON!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
They just showed some Russian skater who’s gonna try to “land a quad” and I pictured the mother of Stephen Hawking’s nurse nodding agreeably.
SonOfSpam
Don T
My word, the day is finally here! The AFCON final is upon us! It is truly a shame that this match does not involve two fine British possessions. I shall have to have a word with the tournament organizers to ensure that this does not happen again.
I shall be backing the Sultanate of Egypt in this match. It will be wonderful to see King’s African Water Pistol Marksman Mohamed Elneny add some silverware to his utterly bare trophy cabinet. Let us hope that he invests his tournament winnings in De Beers stock rather than blowing it all on some North London tart.
In other news, I see that Sieur Trudeau the Younger of Canada has gone into hiding over a protest staged by the men of industry. While in hiding, he condemned the alleged desecration of one Terry Fox statue on Parliament Hill, yet I seem to recall that he supported the toppling of my statues all over the world (along with a statue of my esteemed empire building colleague Sir John A. MacDonald) just two years ago. To quote Richard from the moving-picture-show Trailer Park Boys, “what comes around is all around!”
Cecil Rhodes
What ever happened to the footy team we chose to follow at DFO? Want to say it was “Young Boys ” but while it’s dirty enough for us, prob nawt
Game Time Decision
No, that was definitely it. Young Boys are currently beating St. Gallen 3-2.
ballsofsteelandfury
If the result holds, they’ll be in 2nd place in the Swiss League.
ballsofsteelandfury
It is no surprise that BSC Young Boys is having success in the Swiss League this season. Since they are the preferred club of the Catholic Church, they have immense financial backing.
Cecil Rhodes
This prediction is full of holes
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
GET INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EDIT – godfuckingdamnit we can’t have nice things
In the Land of Toothless Georgie Cunts, Jonjo Shelvey is the toothless-ist. And the cuntiest.
Instead of foam, I found that low pile commercial grade rugs work much better as they can still grip, but cannot chew it up. They look like they are happy which is the main thing.
I was trying to remember who else had a bun, it was you!
Yep, he is helping me to keep sane. The other day my son and I were having a serious but really emotionally hard talk and the bunny jumped up on my chest and started licking my face. It broke a lot of tension and make the rest of the discussion a lot easier.
Is your son doing any better? I hope you know that we all feel like you are a total hero for trying to help him. Mad respect to you!
He had a relapse and we had to confiscate his keys and wallet. He was out driving and drinking. He binged on a handle of vodka and I found the second one before he could drink it. He is starting some online counseling and we are going to start going to Al-anon next week to try and learn some coping skills. Even if he has given up on himself I have not. Still hanging in there. Your signing go OK, are you now proud home owners?
You are a good dad. Hang in there! You will never regret trying to help him, even if he doesn’t want it. Our deed was recorded by the county, tomorrow we pick up the keys! I expect I have quite a bit of cleaning to do, so we aren’t moving in for a week or so.
good bunny
Thanks, will look into that for next time
A grisly tale about rabbits.
When I was a young kid, I went to visit my grandmother – the one who hated me and my younger sister. The most miserable person I’ve ever known.
So she says, “The neighbors next door got rabbits! go see them!”
My little sister and I trundle over, ask to see the rabbits. Neighbor says “Um, ok. They’re downstairs in the way back.” (NOTE: Baltimoreans call the basement the way back. Also we say neighbors are across the way.)
We race downstairs into the wayback, with pictures of bunnies dancing in our heads, and see . . .three skinned rabbits hanging from the rafters.
I still think my grandmother was fucking with us.
haha. My neighbour, who’s a butcher, said upon meeting our bunnies, that the white one is an eating bunny. Glad the kids weren’t in earshot for that.
My prior cat, Hawkeye, brought then-2 year old HippoSpawn a bunny in the driveway, then proceeded to “play” with it while his human sister squealed with delight.
My then mother-in-law – oh no, Hawkeye killed the Easter Bunny!
/it was indeed Easter Sunday, and I laughed my ass off
My cat brought a live chipmunk in to my son’s 5th birthday party. It was his idea of the perfect present!
Was it one of those singing chipmunks? I think they wear sweaters.
Which one wears glasses? Is it Theodore?
Nope, it’s Simon.
Theodore is the chubby one, aka the one I bet Dave was molesting
Poor Theodore.
1) Easier to catch
2) More like to do stuff for candy
Speaking of chipmunks, does anyone else call them grinnies, or is that just a Yinzer thing?
My nephew and nieces had their pet bunny taken by an owl.
Playing with water is great! Washing the car is a pretext for using the water hose.
Every 3-7 months.
the outside hoses are shut off to prevent them from freezing and cracking the pipes, so no car washing for this guy. We’ve got a deal on a bunch of car washes around the corner, so just do that to try to keep some of the salt off the cars
I need to get my car washed, it is disgusting. Yay for the bunnies! They are cute little critters.