Saturday Night Open Thread – The No More Fireworks Dammit Edition

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I love the 4th of July. I specially have loved spending the 4th outside the USA. I remember vividly spending one 4th in Rome while traveling and hearing about a fireworks display being put on by an ex-pat club in the city.

We went (I was in a group with Americans and young folk of other nationalities) and it was wonderful. I felt the best part of being an American. Good Americans are the best people in the world. Even though we are bombarded with negative news on a daily basis and we are constantly told our country is in shambles, the cold hard truth is that this country is better than pretty much every single other country in the world.

I was born in México. I know. There is a reason immigrants try to get IN to the USA, not out.

However, we need to stop with the unnecessary hype. I cannot stand professional sports leagues wrapping themselves in the flag to buy good PR. Our servicemen and servicewomen are not props for photo ops.

The old adage is that the guy constantly talking about the size of his dick is the guy with the smallest cock. Let’s not have the whole world think we are packing Lil’ Smokies.

The idiots around Southern California (ironically, many Mexicans that aren’t even citizens and just like to blow shit up) started firing up the fireworks last night. It’s three full fucking days before the 4th and it’s already started.

I’m all for freedom and shit but we really should restrict the firing of fireworks to the professionals. Or at least there should be a license issued to anyone that wants to fire off fireworks.

I hope no wildfires are started because of these idiots. The weather has turned for the better and we don’t need the fucking smoke and shit like you Canadiens and East Coasters have experienced.

In other news, I am playing golf tomorrow at 6:27 in the morning. Wish me luck!

Liga MX starts the Apertura season today with three games. Unfortunately, they are on something called Vix+ here in the States and that’s a pay channel I don’t have so fuck that shit.

The Gold Cup continues on TUDN with Cuba taking on Guadeloupe (The Flying Death in Paradises) and then Guatemala taking on Canadá.

I’m in the middle of a four day weekend as I decided to take Monday off. I encouraged everyone that works for me to take it off too. I mean, what’s the point of coming in for just one day?

One guy told me he didn’t have any vacation time left and I started coughing. He laughed and said, “what kind of boss tells you this?”

I told him, “The best one, fucker. Don’t be here Monday.”

Speaking of, there are rumblings in the back office of a DFOCon in Vegas this November. The preliminary details are first weekend in November, staying in Downtown, and good times to be had.

As things develop, we will broadcast more details. If you’ve ever wanted to meet your heroes (God, that’s a bad idea!), pop in and say hi!

Enjoy your Saturday night!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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[…] more recently, and to build on Balls’s commentary from the other night, I saw this sign whilst driving around […]

BeefReeferLives

As Brick noted below, the USFL is a thing. Also a thing: a kicker with the last name of “Blewitt” (ironically, he nailed every kick he took, & is the best kicker in the USFL)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Blewitt

WCS

Went to Pitt.

BeefReeferLives

Yup. If his name was “Nailedit” he would be on an NFL team.

Gumbygirl

Ha ha ha. Why are yinz hanging around here tonight? Isn’t the furry convention this weekend?

TheRevanchist

pardon me while I whip this out

Senor Weaselo

Speaking of Vegas, HOLY SHIT Team Momo won a season-long award. Sure, it was the individual M1 for Momo, but it counts!

Senor Weaselo

I’m probably out for Vegas. It’s coming up on our 5-year anniversary and if I were unavailable I’d likely be flayed alive.

And then Senorita Weaselo would break up with me.

Sharkbait

What? She doesn’t want to spend your 5 year anniversary with a bunch of strangers from the internet?

TheRevanchist

This year is my 20th with the Mrs. I am under pressure to figure out a way to make it memorable. Ha! I’ll be in trouble until 2058z

yeah right

This guy?

This fucking guy!

Sharkbait

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SonOfSpam

You couldn’t possibly have classier witnesses!!!

WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

okay i am quite ineoxicated now

WCS

BOURBLE MISPSELLLING ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

TheRevanchist

No surrender!

King Hippo

And with that, The Canadia Day 2023 has ended. Please tip your bartender.

TheRevanchist

My dog hates fucking fireworks, so I hate them too

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, it’s dark here now, and the banging has started.

And not the fun kind of banging, either.

WCS

And not the fun kind of banging, either.

Maybe the dwarf’s into that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The one summer camp option that Olivia Manning exercised her veto over.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrRqmhb1cag

King Hippo

cats and dogs in complete agreement on this issue

TheRevanchist

I am half Hispanic and half white. I am pretty much a white guy, as you may all one day know. However, I always recognize my Mexican ancestry as much as possible. White guy, basically, but always know my great grandmother was hidden until the day she died, because she could have been exported back to Mexico. My cousins number in the hundreds, all named Flores and Gonzales. This post reminds me of this. I am not accepted among the Hispanic community, but am amongst the whites, which I find ridiculous.

But know this. I am drunk. We are probably all drunk. And that is what really matters.

I can’t remember my point other than I love Balls’ posts.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m definitely drunk.

TheRevanchist

Don’t stop now. I drank some more shine and am ready to keep rockin!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someone had to finish that bottle of Bulleit, and it turns out that someone was me.

yeah right

You’re a goddamn soldier.

Platoon!?

See this man!?

That’s a goddamn soldier!!!

2Pack

Good evening everyone.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

INT. DEADLY HOUSEHOLD. WARRIOR IS PLAYING ON HBO MAX

DR. MRS. DEADLY: [is asleep]

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [puts on music instead]

DR. MRS. DEADLY: Hey, we were watching that…

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: You want me to put it back on?

DR. MRS. DEADLY: Yeah.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: You’ll stay awake?

DR. MRS. DEADLY: I will.

– five minutes later –

DR. MRS. DEADLY: [is asleep]

Sharkbait

Reads Rikki’s comment

Looks at Not Going Out on TV.

Looks as passed out Mrs. Sharkbait

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Brick Meathook

I just realized the USFL exists.

King Hippo

Think that means you’s the commissioner now.

litre_cola

Oooh, does he get Droit du Seigneur?

King Hippo

U NOE IT

BugEyedBoo

Glad he admitted that before I owned up to watching the USFL championship game.

Redshirt

Major League : Alternate Ending (Margaret Whitton, James Gammon) – YouTube

I made a Major League reference below and I decided to finally check out the Alternate Ending. I can see why they removed it, but it could’ve worked if they changed a few things.

1> Its not the ending, it takes place before the One-Game Tie-Breaker. It should’ve taken place after the game ending, almost like a mid-credits scene. Make it a twist ending. “Oh, and if you tell anyone, I’ll fire your ass. You can tell the team after, but I want to keep them motivated. Forget the division. I wanna win the whole f—ing thing.” (cue “Wild Thing” and resume credits)
2> Whitton plays her character way too differently than what she was portrayed throughout the movie. She’s almost like a different character. Even if she was good-playing-evil, she shouldn’t have sounded meek and soft. If anything, she should’ve sounded more confident because she was a chessmaster, five moves ahead of everyone else.

yeah right

I have so much love going right now.
Played catch with a squishy football with the Wahini, drank some lovely brown ale that my son in law brewed. And the food was perfect.

Life is good!

litre_cola

Yes I will hype this. Bring your fave wine to Vegas. I will do the same.

yeah right

Done and done.

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

I swear I could make a feature film from the stories they tell in this joint.

Don T

“Embellishment Alley”, a Meathook production

litre_cola
Game Time Decision

There’s plenty of fireworks going on right now around me, but it Is my nations birthday, so expected

BugEyedBoo

Neighbor across the street shoots off those multishot displays; at least a thousand dollars worth every Fourth of July. Really nice display for one going off across your street.

litre_cola

Today? Is it Gord from Barrie?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Really nice display for one going off across your street.

Not as good as that year I lived across the street from a yoga instructor who kept forgetting to close her curtains, but I’m sure it’s nice.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Dramatization. May not have happened.

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BugEyedBoo

.

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King Hippo

Your reminder that Hippo’s “Shithole Countries World Cup” would be much more fun than this tripe.

Guatemala would be an alpha dog, for sure.

litre_cola

I text peer pressured you.

Brick Meathook

This the second-worst shit I ever took:

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Last edited 1 year ago by Brick Meathook
Mr. Ayo

I think you should hydrate more

Sharkbait

Beat me to it.

Brick Meathook
Last edited 1 year ago by Brick Meathook
Redshirt

Seems like too much fiber in your diet.

King Hippo

If y’all lose to Guatemala on The Canadia Day, will there be riots? Or just passive-aggressively refusing to apologize all month?

litre_cola

It is Canada Day everyone is way wasted, but if they lose, Herdman is fired.

King Hippo

Coach. Tommy. TO TEH RESCUE!!!

litre_cola

Dude, it has been fucking bleak this term. However, we are in striking distance of a home playoff game!

/Hippo is talking about his fellow Everton supporter Tommy Wheeldon Jr. The manager of my local team Cavalry FC.

King Hippo

Futbol Fidels Fail to Fly

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

SPOILER!!

Brick is the Black lady.

litre_cola

COME TO VEGAS AND FIND OUT!

Doktor Zymm

PEER PRESSURE

King Hippo

Imaginary peer pressure is INTENSE yo

litre_cola

I just booked my hotel and flight. Done is done.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Note the age of this tweet, and the number of likes.

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Mr. Ayo

In his defense, Twitter has been almost useless for even above average intellects, much less his voter base.

Doktor Zymm

They’ve already used all their tweet views on the Moms for Liberty Hitler quote

litre_cola

I don’t know why I am tagged in this one. Love of Puebla? Asking the DFOCon question that caused the earthquake? So much so that we have a weekend, and a downtown Vegas hotel booked? Or is it that I will make lanyards with all of our pseudonyms so that real Vegas conventioneers look at us with more disgust than usual? Or the fact that we are planning to go to the Al Davis Stadia and put out the eternal flame? Or that there is something called Hookers and Blow Anniversary that Dok Zymm promoted to us?

litre_cola

Oh, I am at the cabin. Within 30 mins of being back in Canada I had a weed vape and all was well.

Doktor Zymm

The ARG events always have these and it’s great

Brick Meathook

I want to wear a fez.

Doktor Zymm

Wearing a fez is always a good option. I wonder how much it is to get them custom bedazzled?

litre_cola

That is your god damned right!

Game Time Decision

As long as it’s not just a Fez

Senor Weaselo

Brick is Matt Smith? Didn’t see that one coming.

yeah right

You ain’t never gonna do it without your fez on.

yeah right

I’m going to Vegas motherfuckers!

yeah right

I’ve got badge stock and a couple of bad ass printing presses. I can do lanyards too.

Mr. Ayo

Cuba might be in trouble

King Hippo

please to post MOAR pics of that heavenly gal from their last fixture.

King Hippo

She could murder me any day of the week.

WCS
Mr. Ayo

What a joke of a person.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

the 4th of july is when twitter’s servers are under the most stress thanks to users uploading and viewing fireworks videos ppl forget that

Redshirt

We’re leaving Bloom-Bialystock Territory and am entering Phelps Territory.

Doktor Zymm

Is it just me, or is the electric car noise starting to get on your nerves?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait…we’re still talking about electric cars, right?

Doktor Zymm

The humming noise they’re required by law to make now so they’re less silent and more irritating killers

King Hippo

you and ur COMMIEFORNIA laws smgdh

Doktor Zymm

Both US and the EU have regulations on this, I don’t think California really cares if people run over pedestrians since anyone who matters would at least be on a hoverboard

Sharkbait

I’ll do my best to make November happen. For being months away, it’s potentially filling up, and not all activities can be done.

Doktor Zymm

There were plenty of fireworks in Barcelona right by the train station, even in the middle of the day, so pretty sure people just like to blow shit up and would do so even without the convenient excuse of the 4th. The town of Newark has had signs up at the borders since the start of June telling people that fireworks are illegal there and I would put a significant amount of money on it having zero deterrent effect.

I’m not usually in the US during the 4th, so I feel like I should do something special this year since I am, but I’ll probably do nothing instead