[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio

Log In

Saturday Night Open Thread – What Day Is It? Edition

ballsofsteelandfury

/

, , , , ,
BktGhodCAAAjSMx.jpg

Fuck Me, I need a calendar. Or an alarm or something. Lately, every Saturday, I get to DFO in the afternoons after reading Hippo’s Morning Thread and think, “I wonder what our wonderful writers have cooked up for tonight’s Open Thread.”

Then I realize, “Oh fuck. I’M supposed to be writing it!”

So here we are. I would not call it a Karen Carpenter job because I am actually putting some thought into it but it’s like I’m doing my homework on the morning of the day it’s due.

What can we talk about?

***

I’m a little pissed off that The Powers That Be are putting Liga MX on this stupid Vix+ channel that you have to pay extra for. Listen, I like Vecinos and El Chavo Del Ocho as much as anyone, but I’m not paying $9 a month for the privilege.

Which makes me wonder why Pornhub and all the other porn sites don’t have streaming sites like Hulu and Netflix and all the others. I understand the business model of the adult industry is all changed and all that, but I would think that would be a moneymaker.

BTW, congratulations Canadiens, you own all the porn sites in the world! If you want a rabbit hole to go down into (see what I did there?), you should look up the economics of adult films. It’s ridiculous.

***

I’ve not played golf in a while so there is nothing to report on that end.

***

I have no idea what sports are on tonight except for AFL on the Watch AFL app. It’s getting to the end of the season and the action is getting good. I highly recommend it.

***

Can someone tell me how Barbie was? I can’t be bothered about Oppenheimer.

***

I hear Shoresy Season 2 wrapped filming and will be out in the fall while Letterkenny’s next season is supposed to come out in Winter

***

The Women’s World Cup continues tonight with Sweden taking on South Africa at midnight Best Coast time followed by Netherlands v Portugal (read this morning’s excellent preview by 2Pack!) and then France v Jamaica.

***

I’m writing this while in line for the car wash. My car wash is as filthy as my mind. That’s pretty filthy.

***

Allow me to remind you about DFOCon in Vegas this November. The details are first weekend in November, staying in Downtown, and good times to be had.

***

I need to share this song with you. I had not heard it in a LONG time and I’d forgotten how much I love it:

Enjoy your Saturday night!

5 2 votes
Article Rating
Tags:

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
88 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
WCS

comment image

Never an apartheid fan, anyway.

1
TheRevanchist

SA wasn’t very deep in the bench. That injury really hurt. And they are all a foot shorter than the Swedish Bikini Team. Still a good game, tho.

2
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Barbie movie was fun. I learned something about objectifying women. The lesson is that objectifying women feels pretty damn good and Margot Robbie makes me turgid.

Also that scene where Ken is violently sodomized by Sandinistas added a hint of adventure!

5
BugEyedBoo

Also here in Columbus.

https://www.heartofgrovecity.org/bourbontasting/

My wife and I were in Grovetucky, for a late breakfast at a place that supposedly had the best pancakes in town (were merely okay). As we were going through town I saw a banner advertising it, but only got a glimpse. “Hey honey, I think I just saw a sign for a bourbon festival.” On the way back out, sure enough, bourbon festival.

Gotta say, I’m intrigued.

2
BugEyedBoo

Once you see it you can’t unsee it. Welcome to Columbus!

Screenshot 2023-07-23 010035.png
3
WCS

We’re going to have to have to do a Pens-Jackets BotG at some point.

0
BugEyedBoo

Season will start soon I think. I’m not a fan, but for you guys and gals I’d go.

0
WCS

Tweaker Ladies footy?

comment image

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bought my ticket to GWS-Sydney, it’s happening.gif

7
Doktor Zymm

Yasss! Have all the fun!

1
ballsofsteelandfury

AWESOME!!

1
WCS

I’m kind of having an existential crisis:

As a parent, how would you react if a youngin’ in your family did something that Jordan Addison just (allegedly) did?

0
Gumbygirl

My brother did that when he was about that age. Young and stupid. Back then you basically just got a ticket. Now he’s old and stupid.

1
2Pack

/looks around nervously

3
Doktor Zymm

The speeding thing? Lots of people do it and get away with it, doesn’t mean it’s not risky as hell and generally a bad thing to do. I think usually kids know this and self-limit, so they might get defensive if you point out the risks. I would go with being disappointed and not lending them your car

1
Mr. Ayo

Look, 140 in a 55 without an accident is impressive, if also quite lucky. Just ask Henry Ruggs III.

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think the flight attendant is either taking a shit or rubbing one out. Either way he’s been in the WC long enough that it’s fucking up my post nap drink ordering.

1
Doktor Zymm

Have you wandered up to the galley or pressed the call button? Someone else should be able to get you a drink while your FA is shiturbating

3
yeah right

I’ve been playing acoustic guitar for the last hour and now I’m plugging in and going full electric on a Fender Stat!

Hold me.

4
Gumbygirl

Freebird, lol!

3
2Pack

https://youtu.be/GChhRrU6BJU

1
Gumbygirl

One of the many thIngs I love about Big Bear is the cheap high altitude buzz. Three or four hits off a preroll and I am nicely toasted.

4
Brick Meathook

I’ve reviewed all the comments here, and they are outstanding! So many wonderful thoughts and experiences!

In that spirit, here’s a bunch of pictures of me. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did living through this charade.

Thank you and God Bless.

comment image

4
TheRevanchist

I’m not sure the sneak peak of your OF page is going to improve business.

2
Gumbygirl

He needs to show some more skin. When we were at dinner, this couple with a beautiful golden retriever were taking pics by the lake. The woman started doing poses, like the kidz do, and the dog was posing with her. Just like Brick, they know they’re beautiful!

3
Horatio Cornblower

Up at a friend’s house drinking beers. House next door is rented to UConn students.

The motion detector lights come on. An athletic young girl dressed in a tank top, (which no, does not cover all of her very flat, very tan, and very well-defined abs), comes walking over with a bottle of wine.

“Hi. We’re just staying next door for a few weeks for field hockey camp. Are you guys, (note, none of us are under or more importantly look like we’re, under 50), renting here? Do you know the owner? Do you have a (this is a direct quote) wine-bottle-opener?”

Me: (internally) OK, I should be hearing “bow-chicka-wow-wah” right about now and then Balls yelling “action!” but I do not have a script and my wife is 20′ away so I’m not sure….”

externally: “Yeah, there’s one on that table over there. Help yourself.”

internally: Nailed it!

This really happened. One of my friends had to help her with the corkscrew, then she changed her shirt in front of the open window. Bra was white. All the wives hate her and all the men are buying season tickets to UConn field hockey.

12
ballsofsteelandfury

ACTION!

4
Doktor Zymm

This is a much better approach than breaking off the neck of the bottle and possibly ingesting glass shards, so good for her!

5
Horatio Cornblower

I suggested that but it was vetoed by the guy that jumped up to get her the corkscrew.

Which, again, she did not know how to operate.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

She needed you to come back to her place to fix the cable

2
Gumbygirl

Change a lightbulb.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Now that I think of it we did have pizza.

2
2Pack

Help with a “plumbing” problem.

3
Gumbygirl

Dear Penthouse….

1
Senor Weaselo

I wonder if it was a bet.

0
Horatio Cornblower

My best guess is that she figured that since she was renting the guys drinking and playing corn hole next door must also be renting, and college students, so she went over with a bottle of wine to play the hapless damsel and get some.

Then she found out the guys next door were a bunch of dorks over 50 and that their wives were up on the deck where she couldn’t see them before and, being an athlete, backpedaled the fuck outta there as gracefully as she could imagine.

And more power to her.

3
Doktor Zymm

Or even simpler, she knew you were old and therefore probably had worked out stuff like wine opening and would be happy to oblige without any weirdness. The shirt change was a sort of “I know y’all are harmless’ thank you and she’ll somehow make an interesting story out of it when she goes back to her friends

0
Horatio Cornblower

This is fair, especially as she either has no spacial awareness, (unlikely in a D-1 athlete), or had to be doing it on purpose.

0
BugEyedBoo

My daughter has, more than once, griped about getting hit on by guys that, by her standards, are a little long in the tooth. Her: “Some old guy, 40-something, started hitting on us. Why is he even in that bar?” Me (wrong side of 60): “Thanks, honey.” Her (a little abashed, but just a little): “Oh, sorry dad.”

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A long rambling story about an encounter with a girl who was way out of your league?

comment image

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
5
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Honestly, Barbie was pretty great. Deeper than expected but still fun. And obviously Margot Robbie is fantastic to look at.

4
Horatio Cornblower

My daughter loved it.

This will likely be my sole comment on the movie.

2
King Hippo

Did they get around to resolving whether Ken has his….meat and two veg after all?

1
Doktor Zymm

Very fucked up thing I learned recently: Barbie and Ken were named after brother and sister

2
King Hippo

Sounds very Osmond family

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

He has a weird lump and they take that head (heh) on

2
King Hippo

Margot Robbie does that to many of us, to be fair

1
BugEyedBoo

Isn’t the official medical term frank and beans?

0
blaxabbath

She looks too fat to play Barbie. But I’m a purist.

0
2Pack

My daughters enjoyed it. Theater was packed.

Also my sole comment

Last edited 2 years ago by 2Pack
0
blaxabbath

I want like a good dessert.

1
yeah right

I’ll see you in the morning.

1
Horatio Cornblower

why does this sound like a threat?

1
yeah right

You’ll see

1
Doktor Zymm

The next time some idiot starts talking to me about how awesome Communism or Socialism or whatever they’ve decided their nonsense is called I’m going to start humming the Nationale and when they don’t recognize it by the third bar I’m going to thumbnail them right in the windpipe

6
blaxabbath

That’s their ringtone.

1
Doktor Zymm

Really? I haven’t heard it in the US with the recent crowd that goes with the stupid pronounciation of Antifa. And it’s been yonks since a wobbly tried to sell me a poorly printed newspaper. I may not agree with them, but I do miss the folk who at least knew what they were on about

1
King Hippo

You were with us in the Clubhouse THE WHOLE TIME

2
Doktor Zymm

New Futurama on Monday! THIS IS NOT A DRILL

1
scotchnaut

Not a drill but it might be a clamp.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2_zb6oyep8&ab_channel=WiiDuB

2
Senor Weaselo

I think that would qualify as GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE!

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

There’s the PLL All-star game on ESPN now, if like, really bored

1
Gumbygirl

If you embiggen this picture, you will see a beautiful blue Steller’s jay on the bird feeder. They are noisy as fuck, but so purty!

20230722_165654.jpg
4
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s beautiful! I’m guessing you’re getting away from the heat in Palm Springs by going to Big Bear?

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
1
Gumbygirl

Yessir. We’ve been here all week, going home either tomorrow or Monday. Dinner now at Santana and Mavericks.

2
Gumbygirl

.

20230722_180251.jpg
3
ballsofsteelandfury

For BFC, Australia’s National Rugby League IS in action throughout August. Besides AFL, that’s the sport to watch when you visit!

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Duly noted

1
King Hippo

I truly hate the Chi**** Bastard Man Small Bears. Could they please stop existing? In the names of Jeebus and Fredbird AMEN.

1
yeah right

Back to the red state you ratbirds came from!

And stay there!

Because we play another 4 against you guys next week. Your dojo next time.

2
Doktor Zymm

I wonder what would happen to the property value of my condo if Wrigley disappeared? It would probably be fine, just way more gay without the vendors selling ‘Greenbay Fudgepackers’ T-shirts to counterbalance Boystown

2
yeah right

Boy did you nail that.

One of my trips to Wrigley, get off the El out behind right field and dude is selling a shirt that said “Albert takes it in the Pu Jols.”

I did not buy that shirt.

I bought a sleeveless “Cub Fan Bud Man” shirt with Harry on it.

2
yeah right

Hey Dok, serious question, if you still have your place in Chicago next year could I rent it for a few days from you?

0
Doktor Zymm

I’ll still have it, and while short term leases are against the condo association rules I’m happy to let you stay for a few days gratis if we can work out how to do keys and such! Depending on the timing maybe I can even be around too and accept payment in the form of a meal 🙂

2
yeah right

Oh that’s already done.

1
Doktor Zymm

L’Accord!

1
Horatio Cornblower

/Yeah Right makes a salad, puts it on top of a hot dog

What, this is what you people eat in this town, right?

3
Doktor Zymm

They do say “drag it through the garden” but it must be a weird garden when half the stuff that comes out of it is already pickled

1
Gumbygirl

Those sport peppers are the shit!

0
yeah right

A bit more credit.
I would use gardineirre.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

You think Karen Carpenter didn’t think about throwing up? You are incorrect, sir.

1
King Hippo

She was THE NATURAL at it, like Roy Hobbs in that moviefilm

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Exactly. No thought whatsoever. It just happened.

3
King Hippo

What a blessing it must be to be THAT GOOD at sommet, ya know?

1
yeah right

That’s actually kind of a talent. Like farting on demand.

Nothing to be proud of but still. That’s a talent!

1
Doktor Zymm

I know you aren’t really a podcast fan, but “You’re Wrong About” has 2 episodes on Karen Carpenter that I found pretty interesting, although I enjoyed their ones about the first black Miss America even more

0
ballsofsteelandfury

https://youtu.be/q6Gx48p0ffc

2
88
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x