Reminders of stuff from 2020:
Country: Romania
Footy team colloquials: Tricolorii (The Tricolors)
DFO (probable) colloquials: Draculs, Impalers, please not the Ceausescus because fuck that guy, and the Securitate, and Gheorgiu-Dej.
Kits: Home and away
FIFA Ranking: 46 (23rd in UEFA)
Best World Cup result: Quarterfinals (1994) (including a win in the Round of 16 over a Maradona-less Argentina… who was kicked out for drug use)
Best Euro result: Quarterfinals (2000)
Home stadium: Arena Națională, Bucharest
How did they do in qualifiers? Topped Group I without a loss (6-4-0), notably over Switzerland, keyed by a 1-0 win over the Neutrals in Bucharest.
Anyone I know if I casually-at-best follow footy? Probably not. Horațiu Moldovan is the backup keeper at Atlético Madrid, and Radu Drăgușin has gotten some work in the sub rotation at Tottenham, but… casually, no. No one you’d know, unless you follow Turkish, Romanian, or Saudi leagues.
Who’s in their group? (FIFA ranking/UEFA ranking) The Fightin’ For Their Literal Countries Survival (Slava Ukraini, 22/12), The Evil Wafels (Belgium, 3/2), and “I Open My Own Hotel” (Slovakia, 48/25).
So, a very obvious not-top 2.… Is there a chance in hell to not get sent out in the group stages? Yes, because 4 of the 6 third-place finishers make the round of 16. They’d likely need to steal a point, if not all three, in the opener against Ukraine to keep it interesting for the match against Slovakia, but a close loss to the Belgians would still be a surprise result. This would put them checking on likely teams such as Scotland/Switzerland, the Group B Group of Death turnout, Denmark, Poland, and the Genocide Deniers.
Best-case scenario: Third-place in Group E, draw up against England, which proceeds to England, and somehow make the quarters?
Worst-case scenario: 0-0-3, no points, 23rd in the field above Albania, which unfortunately is the already dead team in the aforementioned Group B of Death (Spain, Croatia, and Italy? Have fun Adil and Friends! Yes, that was the exchange kid’s name in “The Crepes of Wrath.”)
Realistic-case scenario: Third place, somewhere between 2-4 points. Coin flip of whether they make it into the knockouts or not, so let’s say… no.
Okay, onto America!
News:
-QAARON’S QAMPAIGN WATQH? Aaron Rodgers, to the surprise of someone, probably in Florham Park, is doing Aaron Rodgers things, and is an unexcused absence from OTAs. Is he doing RFK, Jr. campaigning? MAYBE! Did I laugh at a dude’s face when he handed me a petition to put RFK, Jr. on the ballot? You bet I did! Have I seen Kennedy ’24 banners in Senorita Weaselo’s wing of south Brooklyn? Yes I have, as she’s right on the border with the district that used to be Nadler’s and the one that also encompasses Staten Island. (I think the border is the southern edge of the park that is across the street from her.) Regardless, Robert Salah said he is on the “exact same page” with Rodgers.
-I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA: (checks notes) 16-time Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest champion and competitive eating GOAT Joey Chestnut has been banned from this year’s competition on July 4th due to his sponsorship with Impossible Foods, which, on account of having a hot dog brand, counts as a rival hot dog company. Chestnut, who according to Wikipedia is in the process of changing to a vegan diet, which I have to imagine is otherwise difficult in competitive eating, had been on his second straight 8-peat.
With Chestnut barred, and with Takeru Kobayashi retired due to health reasons, the field for the mustard belt seems as wide open as it’s been in a long time. How many could I eat in 12 minutes? I don’t know, if I pushed myself for the love of sport… 4? 5? Probably not 6, that seems pushing it. Definitely nowhere close to Chestnut’s record, 76. Fuck, you’d need to probably give me a week of nothing but hot dogs, and that sounds abysmal.
-RIP to The Logo, Jerry West.
Okay, what’s on tonight?
Not watching from a lounge in the Prudential Center
NBA Finals Game 3: The Departed Tingis Pingis vs. Uncle Drew’s Flat-Earth Society (BOS vs. DAL, Celtics lead 2-0, 8:30, ABC)
PRIIIIIIIIIME! (and I guess other baseball)
Aaron Judge’s Roaring Destruction Tour, Redux vs. Pine Tar Rage (NYY vs. KC, 8:00, Amazon Prime)
Pray for Spam vs. Sneks (LAA vs. AZ, 9:40, MLBN)
The Slog to 120 vs. Deep Thoughts with The Deep (CWS vs. SEA, 9:40, MLBN)
Watching Americans get their lesser shit kicked in
United States vs. Brazil (7:00, Telemundo/Peacock/TNT)
LAST SECOND THING I LEARNED GOING ON
Congressional Baseball Game (FS1)
Page editing sucks, and why did I think a string quartet arrangement of Rhapsody in Blue was a good idea?
Do you know what sucks about being a night owl? I’m at my peak creativity, but everyone else is asleep.
I guess I’ll have to go over and read The Wall Street Journal. At least they’re up.
That’ll put you to sleep, for sure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLqqZmNFa_A
Ed Wood, Jr.
Did he just realize that fart had a little extra?
Johnny Depp portraying Ed Wood, Jr.
Ed Wood (1994, d. Tim Burton) is one of my all-time favorite films and thus it is naturally one of the greatest films of all times.
This is a pedestrian tunnel under I-395 in Arlington VA.
The light at the end of the tunnel is the Pentagon parking lot.
Someone should write up lyrics for a song called “I Will Follow You into the Pac-12 After Dark”.
Props to Jerry West to noping on out before the Celtics are able to put up another banner. What a competitor.
he enters yet another hall of fame: all time hater
His classmates voted him King.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MDoQyedR6E
I mean, you only have to keep the hot dogs down until the end of the contest. Still sounds awful, but i get the impression it’s more about not choking and supressing the gag reflex more than anything else
Joey Chestnut has always been a slim guy and I just don’t get it.
You cram 72 hotdogs into anything and it’s going to at least the size of a basketball (probably bigger), and as I understand it he didn’t even bother chewing them.
Stomach, abdominal muscles, and skin all stretch. Won’t feel nice, but they’ll stretch. There was a theory that skinny dudes made better competitive eaters because fat doesn’t stretch that well, so despite a larger initial capacity, fat dudes maxed out lower due to restriction by their ‘belt of fat’
I can understand that, but Joey Chestnut should have looked nine months pregnant with triplets at the end of each contest, and I’ve never seen that.
72 hot dogs had to go somewhere.
No no, it’s called a reversal of fortune
five whole years between insufferable boston sports championships was a good, good run
let us shoot for ten next time
if there was a positive in all of this (besides the mavs’ co-owner being a trump mega-donor) is that holy shit what a terrible week for the lakers
last two times the celtics won:
1986: there was a major stock market collapse the next year
2008: …and one that very year
hey, that dow been riding pretty high lately…
There will be some intense vacuuming in LA tonight!
Fun fact: She actually was using the broom tonight.
Something something Lowratio
Fun way to say “sweep”!
I swear it’s like the mavericks don’t even want to win
Mavericks new ownership (artist’s conception):
Game. Set. Match.
Enjoy the view from the bench Luca.
*second floor bench
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZt7J0iaUD0&ab_channel=SuzanneVegaVEVO
I’m sure some stat nerd out there can find this out, but of the three major sports that use a best of seven format, what is percentage of championships won at home I front of a home crowd? Because I swear 90% of championship celebrations happen seem to happen on the road
Wait, which 3? There’s 4!
I figure the Owl doesn’t count on account of being one game at a (supposedly) neutral site.
Yeah, but Tampa just did that. Although I guess it wasn’t an actual home crowd.
The Ice Stillers have never won a Stanley Cup in Yinzburgh. Actually, 1960 was the last time any pro champeenchip was clenched here. I know everyone here really aches for Gumbygirl and me.
Of the last 10 Stanley Cup finals, four were won on home ice, five on the road, and one in the neutral site during the bubble playoffs.
What about a best of 7 Super Bowl played in Wichita?
A Black Sea beach in Romania is not as sad as a Saudi Beach, but it comes very close. Draculas castle was cool and creepy. A must see if you are stuck, I mean, visiting there.
Of all the countries I have visited, I dislike Romania the most.
Why?
Not that you’re wrong. My Romanian buddy got the fuck out first chance he got.
As did many attractive women. The clubs have been filled with them.
/ as has the PX
There was a really awkward vibe to the place. Former communist state meets western democracy… and sorta sputters along.
Also, didn’t watch the Congressional Baseball Game. Did the Scalise speedhole guy show up?
/dying
//not Scalise I mean he survived
I appreciate your name for the Angels. They are not good.
I could easily eat 6 hot dogs in 12 minutes.
I would prefer not to be challenged further on this point.
There’s a meat joke in there somewhere…
Last night I had one of those frustrating experiences where you wake up from a dream just before the really really good part.
It’s a shame, that burrito looked really delicious.
You’re better off. It may have been full of loads.
https://media.licdn.com/dms/image/D5622AQERTVFcpRfzmA/feedshare-shrink_2048_1536/0/1707160838689?e=2147483647&v=beta&t=jMKSyH9smJqO4X-EYgfxEhAJhdFqH41jfG5syJxV5Mc
Have a night Matt Turner
Whoa
USA first ever draw vs Brazil
I guess that’s Rocking!
Canadia drew with France, soon people will wear hats on their feet, and hamburgers will eat people.
Andy Reid sweating buckets rn
Also USA vs Brazil is kinda rocking
⚽️
Tim Reaaaammmmmm MOTM? At 36 years old!
Found a funny:
🧘♂️
I LOVE this recording of Rhapsody in Blue. One of my all time faves.
Better than the Germanic Rhapsidy Is Poo
You can FEEL the sexual tension between the flute and 2nd chair Viola
I mean, you’re arguably the biggest Lenny stan I know who’s still alive. As for me,
Does the viola play the opening clarinet slide? Yes!
Did I cut piano things, like the cadenza at rehearsal 27 before the slow movement? Yeah, that shit isn’t gonna work for a string quartet.
My commentary (unpublished) on the Dr. Mrs. attempt to park the car straight in the garage this evening.
We have a one car garage that seems super extry narrow. I could move some of the flotsam we’re too lazy to sort, declutter, and organize. But I really don’t want to be the one who rams into the wall. I would never hear the end of it!
To her credit, she’s never scraped the wall – despite having come within centimeters multiple times.
.
I remember watching a terrible games thing on Gotham Chess where somehow they blundered so the opponent’s only legal move was mate the other way.
Why don’t I get to face these people? (Partially because I’ve only really played daily so people have time to think of decent moves.)
The one of the best moments of my life was a chess game I played where I was down to just my king and then proceeded to John Wick My Royal Highness all over the board picking off the opponent’s pieces to force a stalemate.
EDIT: To be fair, it was an amateur. When I face someone who knows what they’re doing, I’m Daisy.
There used to be a PC game – Battlechess? – where there were little animations when you took an opponent’s piece. I remember spending way too much time setting up a pawn mate so I could see how it all went down.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FchWto7TQJc
I spent way too much time playing that game.
There was so much delight in seeing a capture you hadn’t seen before.
was never good at that game. didnt care, enjoyed watching some of beautiful deaths
and 10 year old me seeing the queen’s tits n ass sway every time she moved
That game ruled!
USA! USA! USA!
Also, TNT, fix your score bug dumbasses
[waits patiently for investigative journalists to write articles documenting the high rates of stomach and esophageal cancer in retired competitive eaters]
They all die too young from gonorrhea before they can get those things. From all the sex they’re having, you see.
I’m on the phone with my Romanian buddy now!!
(artist’s conception)
Say hello to Mr. Tate and his brother for us.