You’ve been talking about this match all week so here you go! I see we’ve Arsehole/Man U as well-not a bad footy-related day!
Would anyone care to wallow with me in the tepid bathwater of my Tub of Wrongness regarding the Chargers game? Herbert was the first qb since 1950 to throw more pics in a playoff game than in the entire regular season. Oof!
To The Game!
Broncos/Bills:
-Buffalo is the first team in the Super Bowl era to have less than 15 sacks and 15 turnovers and their +24 differential is the best any team has seen in 15 years. The House Money Broncos led the league with 63 sacks.
-Payton has of course done an incredible job this year but his postseason road mark is 1-5. No matter the outcome, outsiders will regard this year as a roaring success.
-Some want to call this a Von Miller R-word Game but he left 5 years ago-let’s call it a Reintroduction Game.
-Is Denver’s D solid? They are in the top five (there’s that number again) of at least 17 different statistical categories. And Surtain, oh my. No man is an island but db Surtain has not allowed a single player more than 50 receiving in any game. I shall call him, “Isthmus”.
-That said, there is a gap that Allen has the skillset to exploit. (you were thinking ‘running’, weren’t you? Well, there is that as well) Though they are effective when blitzing, Denver has given up 15 of 22 passing TD’s while doing so. Josh has passed for 16 TD’s while being blitzed.
-Nix on the BoLieve?: Rookie QB’s have lost 5 (again!) straight road playoff games and them Broncs have lost 6 of 7 to playoff teams this year.
get at it.
10-8 in a sane and just world
PRAISE SHANK’HLOR FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!
DOINKAGE ALERT!
GUYS THE NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES IS COMING! I JUST POOPED MY PANTS!!!!
I’d like to give it an X for the block.
Congrats, you’re now qualified to be in a square
Are the two related though?
Turns out Fozz is actually our octogenarian president and the anger issues are due to his dementia.
Was listening to a podcast that covered the whole Bible Code trend. i can’t believe humanity is this fucking stupid. When they ran the same computer program on Moby Dick, it came up with the same “predictions.”
ALL HAIL ISHMAEL
I can easily believe humanity is this fucking stupid because
/opens front door, waves vaguely
of everything out here
/my cat blinks from the front yard
Americans are even stupider than this, as every fucking thing around us right now is proof.
That’s a bullshit call. You stand over the guy and it’s not taunting?
Looks like the Bills are the new Chiefs.
Josh Allen looks like he owns a gas station in rural Ohio.
Hey, you can’t kick someone if you aren’t Albert Haynesworth
Here is ChatGPT’s list of the most famous broncos of all time (the query specifically asked for horses):
This is an exceptionally accurate list. I shall invest all of my shillings in tech stocks from this point forward!
Brilliant!
How is the white Bronco not on there?
The query asked for horses, not vehicles!
Why would SJP be on that list.
Two decades of stupid Internet jokes made by losers.
WHERE is Bojack FFS???
ChatGPT clearly prefers shows that feature Mr. Peanutbutter!
Maybe shoulda fair caught that one, in hindsight.
Wait, is this why Hippo is a horse fan?
I became one at age 2, and nobody has any idea why.
Allen on Allen violence! You hate/love to see it, depending on your fannish proclivities. I don’t give a fuck, myself
We’ve now entered the “Deal or No Deal?” part of this Parlay.
Who do you have tomorrow night?
Never mind saw the VIK
On the one hand, you’ll double your money.
On the other hand, what are you really gonna do with $60 in this economy?
Thanks, Joe Biden! Now I have to let it ride!
Release Luigi. Call Mario.
https://twitter.com/bri_sacks/status/1877750648080355750#m
Like my electric bills aren’t high enough already. Cocksuckers.
I thought your utility down there was supposed to be better than PG&E, though I guess all of CA is just stupidly expensive
California’s gonna be a hell of a place to live when every electric utility gets sued into oblivion, (probably justifiably, based on shit like this), and no company will issue insurance for any structure worth more than $50.
Loving the equine science in this thread
NGL forgot there was football on. Not a flex, probably a genuinely bad sign.
Are you smelling burnt toast? Loss of feeling in extremities?
Quarter horses are a breed that originates in the America West, and a bronco is any horse that bucks, nowadays usually mares or geldings specially bred for rodeos, and also usually Quarter horses. They are especially prone to navicular disease, where a bone in the hoof basically just disintigrates.
So, in summary, awesome fake punts are probably a better move than relying on the run for Denver
Trickeration!
And successful!
Dammit! Sutton has hooves for hands.
He’s discovered the End Zone
Huzzah! Another possession for the Empire!
Bronco bomb badly burns Bills. Buffalo bravely battles back.
INSURMOUNTABLE LEAD
Maybe not!
Buffalo rb doing his best Mark Bavaro imitation, taking defenders for a ride.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fuVZNWem3Y&ab_channel=WalterBarooshian
Cook has been under-the-radar excellent of late.
He seems to be the only rb in a Josh Allen offense that has excelled.
Nix doesn’t have great gallop?
Bo Nix is from Arkadelphia, Arkansas.
What in the fuck are those words I just typed?
Is his real name Boseph?
probably Bocephus
The name of a horse, so it fits.
Boberry, after the biscuits from Bojangles
Damn, now I want some BoBerry biscuits.
The cinnamon twists are excellent as well, remind me of sopapillas.
They are delicious and I want some too
A Harry Potter spell?
What’s the over on this game?
49
gonna be a track meet, this
Who runs faster, Horse or Buffalo?
YES
Buffalo top speed is 35mph.
An average horse only 30mph. HOWEVAH! A quarter horse can hit 55mph. Thoroughbred horses will hit 40mph, but only with a rider. Without they’re closer to 20mph.
In conclusion, top speed is a land of contrasts.
The Buffalo seems to have the edge. They’re all weather and terrain.
Quarter horses were bred to race in a straight line over a quarter mile (hence the name). They have a ton of health problems though, tend to go lame when still quite young
I want to point out that bison are also just bigger and will run through people and things horses can’t.
So horses are a bunch of “Glory Boys”?
Elway’s in the stands with the plebs?
WHOA BO(A)
WOO!!!!
Wow.
Oh my quite the start.
HOLY CATS, Franklin finally caught one??
DONK BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why are the Broncos dressed like a Stuttgart WLAF team?
Are the Broncos wearing that kit in memoriam of the Bengals?
Hello, friends.
WELL JIIIIIIIIIIMMMM! I DON’T KNOW…. AAAAAAHHHHH, OOOOOOH. THERE IT IS! YOU WERE RIGHT! GREAT CALL JIM! AND HELLO!
Do you want them to bring back Phil Sims?
Jeem
I kinda want the Donks to win this.
So did 48.4% of voters but here we are.
TOO SOON, Abed!!!! LMAO
With the Cowboys not in the playoffs you’ve become a Chiefs fan?
Hell no. ravens will take care of KC.
Hope you’re right, not sure I’ll even watch another KC SB appearance
In lieu of church services, here’s your Sunday morning Toby Mug on a Weems & Plath Marine Navigation Universal Plotting Sheet aka a maneuvering board. God Bless.
https://ibb.co/tKw0Rc6
Goddam! The IBB image post knocked this fuckin’ shot down about 2 stops. Christ!
Try this one:
https://ibb.co/YR5zLPZ
Better, but the fuck is up with the colorspace? Jesus H Christ, there is NO GOD. What a construct that shit is. And even worse th
/struck by lightning on cloudless day
I dunno, the first one looks more sinister. I like that.
Yeah, a great little sneer.
Kinda makes me want to play the old Monkey Island games
My ebola (or possibly mild cold) is clearing up, but still kinda fatigued, so perfect for watching playoff games with the potential to be blowouts!
I’ve got my fuzzy, probably flammable, temu PJs on and I’m ready to curl up in my hammock chair and make disparaging remarks about people in far better shape than I ever will be!
That sounds way more fun than my morning, which will consist of lecturing my wife about why she should not try to wash rags and disposable nitrile gloves in the dishwasher (because they can clog the drain and cause it to flood) while she stands there truculently thinking of chores she can assign to me in retaliation.
Ah the joys of living alone! I have to do all the chores, but at least I get to decide what they are and what schedule to do them on
Can you distract her with the new full color issue of Vacuum Monthly?
Drunkenly last night I had way too much shame pizza on the train home. My old man digestive system is paying for it this morning. Not hungover though so I have that going for me.
Shame pizza absorbed all the hangover!
just good livin’ right there
I’m the reverse. I didn’t eat enough dinner last night so my body is making a fuss over the single martini I had last night.
“ -Some want to call this a Von Miller R-word Game but he left 5 years ago-let’s call it a Reintroduction Game.”
🏆
trent green gets reintroduced to his wife every day ppl forget that*
*trent green is one of the ppl who forgets that
Pregame Food Porn:
Abomination! I would eat it
Ah, that makes sense
Morning Folks.
Some betting advice I came across while doing some homework: Tampa is 12-5 vs the Over this season.
*chef’s kiss*
So good
Vrabel to Patriots.
Colour me surprised.
We capitalize our superfluoUs U’s around here.
Any Thai masseuse in the larger Boston area could have told you that Vrabel was a done deal.
Sometimes when you are stressed, you need a firm but familiar hand to grab hold of things and jerk you back on track, you know:
Got to applaud Kraft here. He accepted they had the wrong coach and moved on, quickly.
[basks in the applause, except that of Mai, whom he has instructed to refrain out of interest in ensuring her palms remain soft and supple.] – Bob Kraft
Ciao tutti
The teal and purple combo was classic 80s
Who needs a helmet when that is your hair?
Need to hook him up with #48 downthread.
[Picks up the Sports section to check on the “Table”]
Smithers! What happened to my Luton Town Protestants? They’re not here at all!
Arizona be all like, “Raging forest fires? That ain’t that hot! AND FUCK YOUR FEELINGS 2024!”
https://x.com/CAL_FIRE/status/1878224798398152765
The map is interesting. I assume drawn by someone on the west coast
“Oh, and you guys are cool too.”
https://twitter.com/CAL_FIRE/status/1878279396856881265
Damnit, if they had deployed that much shade a week ago these fires never would have happened in the first place!
“No cacti, no help.”
-Arizona firefighters
This is the grown up version of your parents forcing you to invite that weird kid in class to your birthday party.
And yes, I was that weird kid.
I thought Tamworth were DUE!!!
I love the non-descript houses in all the overhead shots.