Somewhere in Cancún….
The assassin grumbled. She said to herself, “What am I doing out here? This is why you have underlings!”
She muttered to herself but she knew deep down she had no choice. Some work you just had to do yourself. If you didn’t, that would mean someone else would and, quite frankly, she could use the money for the Christmas celebrations. She couldn’t afford to waste more time
She saw him park his fat ass on the beach and put up an umbrella. It was about a 100 yards, but he was unmistakable. That’s what happens when the economy goes in the shitter. Everything becomes “lean” while the fat get fatter.
Why did she have to go into the office today of all days? I mean, there’s NFL football on the TV! And there are several games with playoff implications!
“Oh well. Might as well get on with it. The faster I do this, the faster I can get to the pool bar and watch the games. Stupid work.”
TO THE GAMES!!
Falcons at Cardinals
This game is only important for fantasy football purposes. For my personal benefit, I hope that Atlanta decides to rest Mr. Robinson and give him a well-deserved break. Much like their fan base, I don’t really care about the Cardinals.
Jaguars at Broncos
This is the premier game of the week. This will tell us who is for real and who is a fraud. For some reason, I think it may be the Jags that are for real, but the game is in Denver and that’s awfully tough for a team from the tropics.
Raiders at Texans
Can we just put Raiders fans out of their misery already? If they were dogs, they would be put down more for their benefit than anything. Just watch the foaming of the mouth. I’m pretty sure 90% of their fans haven’t gotten their shots.
Steelers at Lions
There is a chance that the Steelers go into Jerome Bettis’ hometown and pull off a miracle win. It’s about the same chance a guy has of pulling off a threesome with two hot Latinas and NO ONE gets jealous.
COMMENT AWAY!
Nice play Pittsburgh, no go eat a buffet of shit.
…but score one more touchdown, and then the shit buffet.
It’s so festive of Houston to be wearing their Christmas helmets!
I like them, I just wish they brightened up the dark blue accents a bit more
Jaguars bandana in the dryer, just to warm it up.
Stand by, clubhouse.
Smart!
It’s earned, mah dude. Well earned.
Bronx Cheer!
don’t tell my mother in law, but we didn’t go to mass today.
I’ll write you a note.
I’m starting to lose my bolief in the Broncos.
I could only really believe when we had a true 1A/1B in Dobbins/Harvey. But this is a house money season, can’t be that pissy about whatever happens.
The hero we need!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbjYpXrzACY
Pick one:
The ’07 sounds fanciest
I can admit I have no clue as to what these three things are. I’m gonna guess weird fruits from France?
Highly processed grapes
oh, well does Mad Dog 20/20 have a place in this discussion? I have some experience in this area.
Also, when I was 7 my grandfather would give us Ernest and Julio Gallo red wine mixed with Sprite.
Also, another grandfather gave me vermouth at Christmas, and I barfed on the ride home. I thought my father was going to murder him.
Interesting, I usually go for coke with red and sprite with whites
Bollinger.
This is a trick question, right? The Roederer.
(how was my litre_cola impression?)
Love this!
For context, these are the 3 champagnes likely to be available on the Singapore air awards flight I booked FRA-JFK. I should be able to try all 3, but want to prioritize just in case
Steelers’ DK Metcalf throws punch at Lions fan during Week 16 matchup – CBS Sports
So, um, was DK Metcalf always an issue, or should we test the water in the Steelers WR Room?
So there was no call from New York saying, “Get him the fuck out of here?” Oh, wait the NFL loves its legacy teams and I’m sure there was a bunch of money bet on the Squealers.
To be fair,
The fan he hit is a total shitheel and I want to punch him too
I get that. He’s a normal fuckface of a fan. But still, trying to hurt hime shoudfactor into it.
Eh, he was fine, he celebrated being hit right after. It was more of a shove than a punch, if DK was trying to hurt him he would have.
Normally I’d agree but he’s been worthless out there.
Found a funny:
🎵deck my halls into pieces/this is my last noel🎵
Whats up with the imaginary team’s helmets?
How nice of Minnesota to loan them their alternate helmets.
especially the concussion cap varietal! Some nightmare shit
Having the ball for 10 minutes only to end with a field goal from the 5 has to feel like a loss.
Broncos having almost as bad a day as Barbaro did in the Preakness
It’s all coming up That’s Rikki’s Raiders today, innit?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nM4okRvCg2g
WOO!
Rogers is the only asshole who would help up an opponent and then trash talk him.
I am very angry y’all didn’t take head shot after head shot on that dickass.
I feel bad for the Detroit custodians who had to go mop up Romo’s jizz at halftime. Hoping the splash guard holds up for the rest of the game.
Loving this Broncos vs Jags game.
Back & forth that’s ROCKINGGGG!!!
Jaguras running an absolute clinic. Maybe Liam Cohen is CoY after all?
RB’s Harvey & Gainwell with Back-2-Back TD’s babaaaayyyyy!!! 🏈💯
That was ROCKINGGGG!!!!
Parker Washington is just fucking our shit up.
I am not prepared for Prison Girlfriend to have a good team.
He’s sure coming (PHRASING) out (PHRASING!) on top (PHRASING!!!!) today
Broken fibula and dislocated ankle for Judkins. Plus he’s still on the Browns. Ouch.
Brilliant play call by Jags OC on 3rd and short.
Ladd McConky looks about 14, complete with being unable to grow a moustache
Fucking incompetent refs. That was absolutely a catch and a touchdown, but you blew the call and stopped the fucking play! He can’t just get up and run.
That’s a hell of a catch.
Too bad the officials fucked it up.
“No we didn’t!” – referees, ignoring the rulebook completely
Wondering how there wasn’t an offensive PI call
I have seen the future and it is filled with Planters Salt and Vinegar cashews. Damn, so good.
Aldi has some dill flavored ones that would be close to that.
Trader Joe’s used to have cashews with a wasabi crust that were insane.
They were so delicious that of course, Trader Joe’s discontinued them.
I’m sure some millenial fuckwad got scared of the packaging, or shouted cultural appropriation due to the use of wasabi.
We see this all the time in the food service business-a product is introduced and is super popular in a few regions but it’s overall sales nation-wide don’t justify the cost of its production. That’s the way it goes.
Moose Johnstone looks delightfully effeminate in fluffy v neck swater 🥰
DK Metcalf is having a disaster of a day so far.
It’s nice of Nantz and Romo to keep harping on it.
Thin Skinalice at the Palace!
The Detroit fan troll is just the dog-hair encrusted, rotten cherry on top of his Sundaey
I actually don’t think he should get in trouble for punching that dipshit, just watch the asshole celebrate after
It’s probably OK to let every NFL player punch one fan a season and just assume it was justified.
Oof. Nakia-like catch bu TeslAa
Anti-semitic?
In retrospect, mmmm, I dunno.
If Jax tight end Quinton Morris is 243 pounds and not 270 I’ll eat the three infant-sized burritos he had for his pre-game meal.
Sound of the narration of my PIT @DET stream
https://youtu.be/sEymyO5Abp4?si=QrRrm-kNoxGONIi8
Reminds me of the Patton Oswalt routine ripping on NPR fundraisers: “Tibetan throat singing quite rightly died out 600 years ago, but now thanks to two trust fund kids majoring in dead languages you can bring it back! A donation of $50 gets you….” basically you get a shitty album no one would want.
I enjoy some Tuvan throat singing
https://youtu.be/bONCCjzNlk4?list=RDEMRHKq0Qxo2sy4_fH2xWH-fQ
I’m a sucker for dead languages
/caresses Lisp 3 ring binder
Just finished all of the Shame Wendy’s. I bought two-days worth yesterday.
Reheating brings xtra shame.
Have to loves airlines that try to put one over on you. Mr Cola we have adjusted your flight to Phoenix in March. We will now fly you up to Edmonton and then to Phoenix at night, sounds great right? It is the best we could do and closely resembles your original flights. If you don’t respond in 48 hours we can no longer make a change for free.
I went on line and found a direct flight which gets us there by noon. So fucking shady.
That’s BS, was it Air Canada? Y’all have even less airline competition than we do in the US so they tend to be even worse about stuff like this
Westjet who is no longer owned by their employees but by Onyx Capital an investment firm. Westjet is the worst.
That’s a bummer, I flew them once in 2018 or so and it was a nice flight
Onyx Capital is owned by Gerry Schwartz who is married to Heather Reisman, the face of Indigo Books in Canada. The mother company tries to create monopolies in overlooked markets here in Canada and is doing a bang-up job of it last time I looked.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ADgCeYJMN4
That would be hilarious if Christian Kirk was Muslim.
He had three beers at lunch. That would make anyone sleepy.
Afraid Balls’ predicion might prove verdad.
I don’t often say a defense is a joy to watch, but the Imaginaries absolutely are
They are legit terrifying
They are legit beasties and I’ll not be surprised if they get to the AFC Champeenship Game.
Offense kind of stuck in 2nd gear today, though
Raiders stuck a potatoe in their gas tank
Chris Boswell > you
ESPECIALLY if you = Geno Smith.
Stillers leaving the undrafted rookie in his third-career start alone against Aiden Hutchison.
SMRT
That’ll teach Rodgers to stop using his pregame speech to talk about conspiracy theories and why the color aqua is spying on him.
Doink in a holiday mood!
So the Raiders get relegated to the NCAA and whoever wins the College champeenship moves up?
They go to the UFL.
Los Panteros with the W!!!
/making my ridiculous Week 5(?) prediction look downright Nostrodammy
Gotta say: love the Sean Payton clear granny glasses. With a shorter haircut and t shirt with khakis, full butch lesbian look.
The Subaru Outback checks out!
“That’s what happens when the economy goes in the shitter. Everything becomes “lean” while the fat get fatter.”
Mmmmuah! 😘 👌🏼
Stillers radio cuts into their sideline reporter, who’s mic clearly wasn’t working properly.
That’s a great harbinger of things to come, I’m sure.
If I ever have the opportunity to name a team I’m going with the Octopuses with the Blue-Ringed Octopus as the mascot
Fighting Octopodes!
When you said “blue ring” I thought you were going to update us on what Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show got up to in Smurf Village last night.
No Mr Bond, I expect you to die
Doc: “Kill all the members of The Band!”
Henchman: “Ms, most of them are dead and-”
Doc: “YOU HEARD ME!”
Extra style points if you use tetrodotoxin for a beach assassination. Onshore shark attack is also good.
Can they have lasers on their heads?
I’m not going to interfere with a professional shark’s choice of equipment!
fucking Jaguras lucked out, it’s 15 degrees warmer in Denver than it is at Casa del Hippo!
That gif is hypnotic
You’re welcome!
It’s like a sexy lava lamp…