She was halfway through her third post-coital cigarette when she looked at him sleeping like a baby.

“ยกTengo hambre! ยฟA quรฉ hora empieza el prรณximo juego?”

He woke up, slightly annoyed, but then he saw her naked body next to him and felt her warm thighs and the anger was instantly gone.

“Dรฉjame ver…”

He pulled up the listings on his phone. He moved it in her direction.

“ยฟSon estos?”

“ยฟPorquรฉ dice las 3? ยกHace horas que fue las tres!”

He looked confused. Then he understood.

“ยกAh! Mi amigo Balls de DFO cambia la hora a Pacific time. ร‰l vive en รฉl lei

She smiled and thought about how they would spend the time until the end of the Australia game. She waved her hand holding the cigarette.

“Voy a la tienda a comprar mรกs. ยฟQuieres algo?”

He laughed.

“ยฟUnos jugos pa la energรญa?”

She smiled. “Okay.”

He watched her put clothes on and walk out the door. Then he turned the volume up on the TV and pondered the games ahead:

BRAZIL V MOROCCO at the Giants’ Stadium

Tradition and logic dictate that the Verde Amarela will win. However, Morocco is a very good team. We could have our first upset of the MUNDIAL with Morocco possibly stealing a point with a tie.

HAITI V SCOTLAND at the Patriots’ stadium

Oh, the Scots are going to party like crazy! This is their best chance at getting three points and they should take full advantage. As for Haiti, the one advantage they have is that they are used to heat and humidity. That may become a factor depending on the weather forecast for New England.

AUSTRALIA V TURKEY at the Liouns’ stadium

Turkey was one of the last teams to qualify but it is one of the best to make it through the extended qualification stages. Australia has played well, but the best they can hope for is to salvage a point with a tie.

The World Cup pool can be found at:

https://www.footytips.com.au/comps/DFO_DOES_FIFA?p=doorfliesopen

The password is: doorfliesopen”

COMMENT AWAY!

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SonOfSpam

Greatest Aussie sports feat since

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yeah right

I’ve been fucking around with this charcoal grilled chicken recipe and it’s almost there.

First time it was close, second time dialing in but I think the next time?

I’ve got that motherfucker.

Not sure I’m gonna share it though.

2Pack

Black coffee in bed was a song. It’s also me this morning. I look forward to not doing anything today.

SonOfSpam

Does the stain on your notebook mean nothing?

WCS

This is one of the princess’ and mine “songs.”

SonOfSpam

It’s a classic!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok why should I watch the world cup instead of AFL?

Last edited 15 hours ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Mr. Ayo

AUS just scored! How could you not?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Because footy is better than soccer?Also I just popped open a 9% abv beer.

yeah right

You keep watching the proper footy.
The AFL footy.

Horatio Cornblower

By the way, picture me explaining to an 80+ year-old woman “No, see the clock didn’t start running until the ball is in play, and the ball isn’t in play until it touches a player that is in bounds. While a player is holding it out of bounds the clock doesn’t start. BUT, the out of bounds player has five seconds to get the ball in, but the clock doesn’t count that, the referee does, and…”

and you’ll have a pretty good idea why I’m even considering another drink right now.

BC Dick

The money sucking grubs have removed the simplicity that made every sport good in favour of betting money and grotesque corporate-mandated blandening.
Turn it all off. Watch your minor leagues. They donโ€™t care about us and they wonโ€™t until it hurts their bottom line.

Horatio Cornblower

I watched the last 5-6 minutes with my mother, who has been sucked into this series because of her nieces and nephews, and who I accused of being more into this game than any sports competition she’d ever watched previously, including games I was playing in.

She denied that, but it’s true.

Anyway, I have to say I’m glad the Knicks won, even if their owner is a walking pile of horseshit. The NBA was so obviously trying to get a Game 6.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck the Knicks

Horatio Cornblower

I’d rather not.

Brocky

My brother had the good fortune of living in New york during the giants super bowl wins

I wonder how this will compare

Sharkbait

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SonOfSpam

Hey, you got close recently

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Senor Weaselo

I thought about getting on the train, but it was down 7. Train came as I was getting to the ticket booth.

Let that be my regret and my sacrifice.

They fucking did it. They FUCKING DID IT.

Knicks in 5. Forever.

WCS

Islanders, you’re now on the clock for longest dry spell.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s been what, 41 years? So yeah, looks like they’ve got the edge.

1000002062
Horatio Cornblower

/glares in Maple Leafs

Sharkbait

Isn’t it the J-E-T-E Jets who we have the longest drought in New York?

Senor Weaselo

Yes.

WCS

They’re in a different state.

yeah right

Very happy with this result.

Mr. Ayo

I’m happy with either result, but I do have a lot of NYC friends that I saw suffering through the late 90s Ewing era. So I’m a bit more happy for them.

yeah right

As a Bulls fan I’m still not cool with the 90’s Knicks.

Redshirt

Way to go Knickerbockers! As tribute to your inspiring playoff run, I will refrain from asking with Preseason starts for about one week…depending on the Redlegs do in the next seven days.

Last edited 16 hours ago by Redshirt
Fronkenshteen

This celebration will be great in New York because a 53 year drought means multiple generations will all be experiencing the same thing for the first time. Musically, the last time the knicks won (1973) was the same year of Kool Herc’s set at a house party in the Bronx, which is widely known as the as the actual Birth of Hip-Hop. So, today’s knuckleheads will be out there celebrating with heads who were carrying crates at the Graffiti Rock parties in the Bronx River housing projects, which were run by Afrika Bambaataa. It should be an epic party, and New Yorkers deserve it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Congratulations, Knicks. Well-deserved.

Doktor Zymm

And the only game they lost was because of Trump!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That just shows their resilience. All they needed was a little help from the Wu Tang Clan to shake off the hex.

Senor Weaselo

I’m alive.

They’re on edge at Bridgeview Park, after Pride Night and Dakota Story’s record 4th complete game.

Come on OG.

Redshirt

The Fat Lady is warming up…

Redshirt

“You tell the refs you plan to foul when the ball is in the air.”

Then wouldn’t that be an intentional foul?

Last edited 16 hours ago by Redshirt
Horatio Cornblower

Oh, not in the NBA my friend.

Redshirt

This is one well written script for the NBA Finale. What? What do you mean this is legitimate?!

Brocky

So, are we glad that new Yorkers are happy, or are we glad that Texans are sad?

Redshirt

Texas is the greater evil. But not by much.

Brocky

Spike Lee in shambles

SonOfSpam

More the latter, but the former is ok. For now.

Redshirt

One sent Ocasio-Cortez to DC, the other sent Cruz.

SonOfSpam

And the TX governor tweeted this out before the finals, so fuck him (even though God already did)

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Horatio Cornblower

There aren’t many people I would look at and say “you deserve to be crippled” but somehow two of them are in that picture.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Knicks players and Weaselo are likeable, so I’m happy for them. It would have been fun to see more sad celebrity faces though.

SonOfSpam

Congrats to the Scots and their 3 points; they were the 2nd best team on the pitch most of the game, but

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Fronkenshteen

This is insane listening to all these Knicks fans in San Antonio. Did they travel there or are they Texans on the bandwagon?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Traveled. It’s probably significantly cheaper to make the trip than to buy MSG tickets.

BC Dick

Is it like the nfl? They probably could only get spurs games because of blackouts.

Mr. Ayo

Spurs, Everyone, Out, Pissing down their leg

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s not like NY doesn’t deserve this title, but I’m tired of watching the Spurs choke.

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, the only choking I want to see is from tonight’s girlfriend.

Last edited 16 hours ago by Mr. Ayo
SonOfSpam

Oh that’s how you refer to windowless van kidnapees?

herodotus450

This Scotland team I call them a late 2000s vinyl aficionado because they are collecting Yellow Cards

Horatio Cornblower

Based on his free kicks tonight I’mm assuming ‘Bellegarde’ is Haitian Creole for “Blair Walsh’

Horatio Cornblower

Scotland’s mass transit system must be complete bollocks right now, because every bus they have is parked in front of the goal.

yeah right

Every streaming service on the planet except YouTube TV has a resume feature when you record something.

This is four years we’re talking.

How fucking hard is that to figure out?

Fix your shit YouTube TV!

BC Dick

Call the cable company if you have a problem with it.

rockingdog

Found a funny:

A beautiful Pride month moment when these two men were able to get married on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ

IMG_3527
Redshirt

…and by the looks a recovered skinhead and Hitlerjugenn, too!

rockingdog

World Cup soccer & NBA Finals game 5!?!!!! โšฝ๏ธ ๐Ÿ€

Thatโ€™s ROCKINGGGG!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

I see the Knicks are down 14 points in the 3rd.

Based on recent history they seem to have the Spurs right where they want them.

Horatio Cornblower

Goddamn, I was kidding!

yeah right

Sorry kids, I’m watching the Association.

Think this shit is over tonight.

herodotus450

Association Football? Nah, its got like 3 more weeks to go before the finals.

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, Spurs are cooked. Even more than their tasty local brisket.

yeah right

Well that lasted 90 seconds now I’m watching the footy.

Horatio Cornblower

My mother is over and wanted to watch some of the game because her sister is way into it, (big Knicks family), so we turned it on.

Made it about 10 minutes. Go Knicks, I guess, but it’s just unwatchable.

yeah right

Well now I’m back to basketball.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY YEAH RIGHT I CALL HIM MICHAEL JORDAN…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Made it about 10 minutes.

Well that’s awesome that you made it almost all the way through a commercial break.

herodotus450

I cant tell which team is wearing which jersey: how am I supposed to know if McGinn, Ferguson, and Jameson play for Haiti or Scotland?

herodotus450

Its come to my attention that Jameson is an Irish whiskey (spits on floor) and the joke should have been “McGinn, Ferguson, and Laphroiganmurphy”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Aldon Smith ded.

Mr. Ayo

36 years old? Damn that’s a lot less years than me.

Horatio Cornblower

3 up on Jesus, though.

Mr. Ayo

I guess the lesson is to not dunk on Jesus.

Brocky

Thats a few less than me.

Shit is scary

Horatio Cornblower

Live fast, die young, rack up a bunch of DUIs in between.

WCS

Why am I did I think he won Superb Owl MVP?

Brick Meathook

These are โ€œStarting Quadrant Leversโ€ that are used to start Fairbanks-Morse submarine diesel engine generator sets. These are on the USS Torsk in Baltimore today. โ€œSusanโ€ is the port #1 engine while โ€œLโ€™il Abnerโ€ is the port #2 engine. The lever below is the exhaust drain valve.

Diesel-electric subs usually have 4 engine sets while nuclear subs have 1, and it gets run no less than once a week on patrol, with a snorkel mast stuck up to draw in the vast quantities of air that aspirate a supercharged โ€œfully blownโ€ engine. Starting the diesel was one of my duties on my later patrols.

https://ibb.co/J1kN6zG
https://ibb.co/kfPZ67f

blaxabbath

I’m surprised James Harden was arrested for having a gun, given that he’s a complete defensive liability.

ASU sucks.

BC Dick

You know I think she couldโ€™ve made a real
Statement if not at least joke having one of those crosses with the Jesus on it facing in.
Maybe itโ€™s neither of those but damn sure would make the crucifixion a lot more enjoyable.

litre_cola

A man with bagpipes has entered the pub.

BC Dick

Iโ€™d give it no more than 10 minutes before you engage him in conversation

Horatio Cornblower

When we were expecting my first, my wife organized a surprise baby shower for my friends and I at the local pub. As we were drinking away a bagpiper walked by the pub. We ran out and waved him in. We told him why we were there and he played ‘Amazing Grace’ on the pipes, in the pub. It was fantastic.

Then he left the pub and, as he walked by the window, lifted his kilt and proved that a true Scot wears nae beneath his kilt.

One of my favorite memories, even if it is a bit blurry.

Last edited 15 hours ago by Horatio Cornblower
SonOfSpam

That’s a very good story, but what percentage of your favorite memories involve seeing Scottish cock?

Horatio Cornblower

3%.

Which is kind of surprising.

scotchnaut

I remember a time when Brazil was an incredibly dynamic team that was so fun to watch.

blaxabbath

Good times make soft men.

scotchnaut

I don’t need to lose 20 pounds, you need to lose 20 pounds!

SonOfSpam

Perfect game gone for Yamamoto, thanks to a Mookie error. No hitter intact thru 8.

SonOfSpam

…and the Sox leadoff hitter in the 9th goes yard, no hitter gone, shutout gone, seppuku on the table.

scotchnaut

This reeks of a message sent by an East German spy detailing troop movements in Hungary circa 1967.

blaxabbath

I’ve never understood how the Japanese fought WITH the Nazis but have avoided being called Nazis as an evergreen sporting insult we could throw at the Japs.

Wakezilla

My pick for the Golden Boot jUst scored. Nice!

Mr. Ayo

I’m very happy for Morrocco and even more happy that our DFO pool will now be led by us morons who only picked half the games right so far.

Mr. Ayo

Moron status double confirmed

Gumbygirl

Pretty sure I’m mathematically eliminated already

1000011060
Doktor Zymm

I only got 1 pick right, although that’s because I really like picking draws except for when they actually happen

Mr. Ayo

My downfall is I never pick a draw because I abhor them.

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Did the Brazil team meet for the first time in the parking lot today. Crazy disorganized

scotchnaut

Sleeping peacefully, her belly full of at least two frogs

-Molly’s current status

Wakezilla

Morocco has taken the lead! Thanks a lot, Lula. SMH

Mr. Ayo

Brazil might be in trouble.

Wakezilla

Brazil was my favourite to win the World Cup, and Netherlands is the dark horse pick. I doomed both teams

SonOfSpam

Doyers’ Yamamoto has a perfect game thru 7 against the ChiSox.

If he completes it, will this date live in infamy?

Mr. Ayo

In a word: No. Any record obtained while playing with the White Sox is invalid.

scotchnaut

At the very least his sweet potato-modified motorcycle invention will attract a number of dumb investors.

scotchnaut

I think I’m going for a swim. It’s relatively late so wifey will have a problem with it when I tell her when she gets back home. I don’t see a downside.

Gumbygirl

This Scotland /Haiti game is going to demonstrate the extreme limits of human skintones. Ultraviolet to infrared!

1000011049
Don T

Thatโ€™s the sort of cleavage you seldom see in Catholic saints #๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฝ

PS- I am both energy & juice. Store bought is wasted money.

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