[blatantly ignores the long days and nights since the Super Bowl] Wow! It seems like just yesterday that I was watching relevant football being played and here we are again. The good folks of Canton, Ohio might just see a game in their backyard for the first time in two frickin’ years unless it gets aborted once again. Ye olde NFL and assorted hangers-on wouldn’t do that again, would they? Nah, they’ve had a year to prepare…just like the year previous. To The Game!
Dallas @ Arizona: Don’t kid yourself, home field advantage is crucial in a game of this (lack of) caliber and the Cards hold all the cards. When Carson Palmer doesn’t throw to Fitz who is not being covered by Scandrick, you’ll see why it’s self-evident. On the other side of the ball you can expect that a not-dressed RB Elliott will not pound the rock between the tackles, not wearing down… some Cards defender not named, uh, Patrick Peterson? What I’m trying to get at is that no one of starting quality will be playing this doozy of a tilt. No. One.
So where do we go from here? Oh, we’re going straight to Gabbertville and then heading over to undrafted rook Knighttown with a stop in Kellen Moore Corner along the way. Perhaps we’ll get a glimpse of a Taco Charlton stand at some intersection. The latest tight end that once played basketball-Rico Gathers-is expected to get some reps. These are some slim pickings for sure. But they are all dressed in bonafide NFL uniforms so it matters. As long as we’re wearing our respective drinking/pilling gear it’s all good.
LET’S DO THIS!
Tonight I achieved
MAXIMUM ORANGE COUNTY
Did Mischa Barton steal his gas?
Underwhelming when compared to the previous post, but somehow Sofia Vergara was even hotter twenty years ago.
Oh, my. NSFW Alison Brie
Another NSFW
Bunch More. https://imgbox.com/g/wP3t8L4bae
She seems nice.
Indeed.
FYI – GLOW has been wonderful for taut female nudity.
[No comment]
[Same]
I’m going to need another shower when I get done with laundry. I really need to lose weight. Otherwise I’d be enjoying this heat.
Yes, Kate, you should upgrade to the same size implants Chelsea has.
4 pages of comments for a preseason game? That’s good hustle!
But have you slapped everyone on the ass? HARD?
I guess my ass slapping isn’t in midseason form yet either.
JJ Watt is disappointed with your effort. He also tweeted eight selfies to make sure everyone knows just how disappointed he is because he doesn’t like attention.
We’re a bunch of teenagers when it comes to the NFL. *SPLOOOGE*
Instead of watching the HoF game, (for the 48th consecutive year), I took the wife out for dinner and met the esteemed LCSS, who traveled to the East Coast for “work”, and not at all for a scouting mission for Future Debbie Harry.
Not gonna lie, beers were consumed, including 3 from Treehouse that I smuggled into the restaurant and poured into our water glasses.
When we finished those I asked the waitress for a beer menu and she says “Sure. Are you done with your secret beers?”
I tipped the hell out of her.
That is excellent hustle on her part.
It was pretty obvious since we hadn’t ordered any beers and yet our water glasses stayed filled with beer for a good hour. And I look nothing like Jesus.
Also my son showed up and pointed out “Hey jackass, I can see those beer cans under the table.”
In your defense, nothing on that beer menu was going to be better than treehouse
And then he gave her an extra ten dollars.
Hey-O!
Is it just me, or does everyone else get the feeling tWBS doesn’t really want to write “Marc and Charlie Hustle: Under One Roof!”
/can pitch it to him after the vodka wears off
Aren’t there laws against snuff films?
Last one for tonight.
That’s a really good one.
Well… that happened.
It sucks how many gifs went offline since their respective Quotables weeks. BUT NOT THIS ONE!
Good, old-fashioned football writer racism.
Cowboys gif. Somehow Cole Beasley lives.
“Hey, that aint funny, asshole.”
— Will Fuller
Errrbody roast the GLOOOOORRREEEEEEE BOOOOYYYYYYY
So Kaep to lolphins?
I much prefer the Cutler rumors.
Cats don’t like that much heat. He’ll shed all over everything.
Everything about today’s WYTS Jest edition was simply divine.
I couldn’t finish it. I’m depressed enough.
as a long-time veteran, let me assure you that you can always get MOAR depressed!
It was a great mix of every negative emotion you could have about a team: rage, despair, embarrassment, frustration, delusion, etc.
Thank goodness most of my gigs are on weekends, or else I’d have to learn about the wonders of alcoholism!
I just realized that knowing the Bears will be warmed over shit this season means and basically hating every other team I’m going to have to find a reason to watch football.
That’s what FFB is for. Also beer.
I’ve never played FFB and I don’t know if I want to start.
If you want to continue being a Bears fan and wanting a reason to watch football, it’s highly advisable.
DRAFT THE GIRAFFE
Jesus, I wait til late on qb’s, but not that fucking late.
Two words. Garbage. Time. Plus, The Dreaded Giraffe Sprint was legendary amongst NC State folk. Even by white person standards, he has quite the deceptive speed.
He wasn’t that bad when he was down here in Tampa. I just don’t know what they’re gonna have around him besides Meredith and Howard unless there’s a miraculous Salsa renaissance.
I like him as a Howard hedge (I can transition tag Howard in my auction league). Great winning strategy, hogging the Bears’ offense!
Yup. Hoarding skill players on bad teams with questionable qb support is usually the first step towards a championship. That’s what I always say. But seriously though, as a keeper he’s a no-brainer.
Seems appropriate for today’s “game.”
I don’t find the Pete Rose revelations funny unfortunately. So before I say something I’ll regret, I’ll bid you all a good night. Plus, I have to once again go write something which will get ME accused of being a pervert instead.
This seems wrong somehow.
yes, I’m in a pissy fucking mood. Good night.
Later brother. Have a good weekend.
I am not an NFL professional, but in my opinion that was not a very good kick.
What’s worse that a shank?
A snitch.
/Ray Lewis looks around nervously
we would have also accepted “menacingly”
/though I guess he is getting older, eh?