Well, that didn’t take long.
I now hate Cubs fans more than I hate Patriots fans. Part of this new black well of hatred is the fault of my oldest spawn – JJ Fozz III. (Yes, there is a third generation Fozz, but he is nothing like his father. He is
This is a new feature. It's about movies that I try and watch on various streaming services. There are many movies to watch, few of them are good. You'll see that I barely get into the movie before turning it off, while I find others quite enjoyable. Having this thing
I have always harbored an unbridled hate for Easter. It’s just another one of the many reasons why I am hell bound. This eliminates the “should I or shouldn’t I?” dilemma when I’m presented with a situation that could cause myself and other people harm.
Easter was always a letdown, because
“Nurse, part of his vans popped out and it’s on the floor.”
That’s an actual quote from an actual doctor who was actually cutting in to my balls. And just to clarify the object that popped off weren’t Vans like Spicoli wore. No, it was a piece of my vans deferens
You may, or may not, know that I recently got shitcanned from a job that I thought was perfect for me. I’ll save you the War and Peace version : Motherfucker who recruited me for the job realized his ass was in trouble. Then he threw me under Iron Maiden’s
There is no such thing as a good morning. The only response to “good morning” is a kick to the throat followed by shoving a pair of ivory handled stilettos into the speaker’s guts.
Mornings eat shit. And I hate them. I am a complete night person. I get a second
We need to drop 98 tons of nuclear waste on Nashville.
And I’m not sure that’s enough to kill every fuckstick who is responsible for “new country.” If it doesn’t, I can perform a HALO jump with a group of mercenaries – known as the Black Light Brigade – to ensure
Here we are.
The dogs have sprung from their caves, muzzles saturated with blood and baring their sabre sharp teeth that are eager to rend.
The Jackal King is a slavering cretin with the heart of a pimp, the soul of a harpy, and the self restraint of Jeffrey Dahmer. Hate drips
If you have kids, they are assholes. I have three kids and the older two are assholes and the younger one is excelling in his Intro To Acting Like an Asshole 101.
And if you are a parent, or an owner of children, and you think your kids are darling little
“Winter lies too long in country towns; hangs on until it is stale and shabby, old and sullen. “
Willa Cather wrote that and I couldn’t tell you who Willa Cather is if you promised me a tureen full of bourbon, a rack of prime rib, and videos of PK getting
When I was a little kid, my mother would make something called “honey coffee.” Which was coffee with cream and sugar. I would go to school with caffeine coursing through my veins. This made me a prime target for ruler swinging, eraser throwing nuns. (For older women, they had the
Why am I writing about my unbridled hate for the holidays? Because those stupid ass fucks in charge of advertising have begun the assault on our senses. Slime eating vultures, they need to be slowly lowered into a cauldron of bubbling wassail and melted Advent candles.
Yes, I realize the holidays
