Please Drive Your Car Off a Bridge

  Every damn day I drive to work. The round trip takes about two hours. And every minute of those hours I am filled with loathing. The kind reserved for obese people at Chinese buffets and child molesters. People cannot fucking drive. They think they can. They cannot. Because 99.5% of the

Your Kid Sucks at Sports

  I have two sons. One plays baseball and soccer. The other plays football and lacrosse. They may play in high school. They are not going to college on a sports scholarship. They are not going to play any of these sports professionally. And while I loathe the NCAA, read this