Author: The Maestro

Your 2017 #DoLoThroDo Recap

The Maestro -
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As I mentioned on Saturday, I did an incredibly dumb thing, where I embarked out to eat as many Doritos Locos tacos as I could in a one-hour time limit. You can check the last post here if you want a further explanation of the rules... In short, I lived

Announcing… The #DoLoThroDo17 Challenge.

The Maestro -
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I'm doing a stupid thing on Saturday, and I encourage you all to join me in this endeavour if you so please. If you want to follow along live while I do so, be sure to follow me on Twitter at @TSN_Jorts. I'll probably be starting around 1 PM EST,

CFL Beat: Week 16

The Maestro -
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Thanksgiving Weekend is almost here! Yes, the real Thanksgiving. I talked about this a couple years ago as to why Canadian Thanksgiving is superior to American Thanksgiving - you can check it out here - but in a nutshell, it's superior due to A) typical warmer weather than what happens

CFL Beat: Week 15

The Maestro -
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We'll be 75% of the way through the 2017 CFL season once this week wraps up, though judging by the weather throughout the Northeast and Ontario this past week, one could easily be forgiven for thinking summer had somehow just started. With the heat wave finally breaking today, we're now

Trent Richardson somehow lands another contract; joins CFL Roughriders

The Maestro -
3

In surprising news north of the border, Trent Richardson has yet again inexplicably extended his football career by signing with the CFL's Saskatchewan Roughriders. No current contract details were announced, but he should be joining the team immediately, considering that starting back Cameron Marshall is currently nursing a knee injury

CFL Beat: Week 14

The Maestro -
14

This is the time of year where the injury bug is starting to get very noticeable in the CFL. I'm not certain how many times you'll see that word or a related one throughout this week's league update, but I'm certain it's a lot. I'm also concerned with my own

CFL Beat: Week 13

The Maestro -
6

The hurricanes are over - for now - and autumn is just around the corner. It's an old Canadian cliché to say that the CFL season doesn't really begin until after Labour Day, but for a multitude of reasons, this is once again true. The West, just like each of

CFL Beat: Week 12

The Maestro -
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School is back, and gone is my sanity, as I'm forced into teaching ninth grade math for the first time in my career... an incredibly ironic situation, since I barely passed it as a student and haven't touched any of the material in over a decade. Still, a man's gotta

CFL Beat: Week 11

The Maestro -
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So I have to start this week's article with a rant... because I am fucking pissed at the Hamilton Tiger-Cats. As I'm sure many of you have heard by now, someone within the Ti-Cats organization deemed it prudent to hire disgraced former Baylor head coach Art Briles to work as an

A TOAST TO BLEERGH: Your 2017 New England Patriots Preview

The Maestro -
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[INT. - A dark, candlelit dungeon appears slowly in the dim light. A hooded figure sits alone at a rough-hewn wooden table, with stacks of ancient, leather-bound volumes piled high. All of a sudden, a frantic knock is heard through a heavy, wooden door.] SMALLER HOODED FIGURE: My Lord, I’ve found it!

CFL Beat: Week 10

The Maestro -
5

Holy shit, August is almost over. And I guess we can all still see after the eclipse this week... for now... at least until today's scandal drops. There's one literally every day these days. Maybe firing the nukes will blind us instead of the sun. Who's to say, really? At

CFL Beat: Week 9

The Maestro -
9

I have nothing clever or witty to say; I'm mostly just tired. Physically tired, yes - I've been chasing kids around a summer camp out of town this week - but mentally tired too. I'm sure many of you are as well. Between last weekend's awfulness, and the sheer stupidity