A Confidence is Lost

yeah right - January 26, 2020January 25, 2020

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banner image via {Exterior, Coach Mike Zimmer's ranch in Northern Kentucky} [Door Flies Open] Coach Zimmer: "Hey everybody, I'm home!" Maria: "Hi Coach! Welcome home!" Beansie: "EEEEEKK!" CZ: "Man, it's good to be home but I tell ya, I wouldn't mind being in Miami right now doing some game prep." Maria: "You know Coach. You had a

Dok Zymm – International Woman of Mystery – Chapter 1

ballsofsteelandfury - January 7, 2020January 4, 2020

Author's Note: This series of posts is borne out of my firm belief that Commentist Dok Zymm is actually a secret agent for a nefarious secret agency currently unknown to the general public or even Congress. Her current job serves as a perfect cover to gather intelligence while her

Your “Who Is He Dares Enter These My Woods?” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - January 6, 2020January 6, 2020

This past weekend I decided on one more quick trip out of town. Christmas with Mom had gone well, and WineWife wasn't disappointed with my New Year's plans. So when an offer showed up in my inbox from one of [DFO]'s inner circle, I leaped at the chance to meet

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 16, 2019 Season

King Hippo - December 23, 2019December 23, 2019

Your humble scribe had many pill-induced hallucinations, this 22 December, the Year of Our Lord 2019. I will shake my brain around and describe same below. [Closed Captioning for the Hard of Hippo provided by the Church of the Immaculate Suzy, Rev. Mayhem presiding] Of course, in this Bananacakes of All Years,

The Real Puppy Dance: New Orleans Saints at the Bye

yeah right - November 5, 2019November 4, 2019

As I have done this on multiple occasions now it has been brought to my attention that most tales I weave are from a dark scary corner in Hell where I dwell, so, what's wrong with that? How about a completely new side from your old Taj Bone'r? Let's try something happier. Never

MOST GLORIOUS EL BEISBOL CARDINALS (and some NFL thing) Open Thread

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - October 14, 2019

327

That's right, kids- Uncle Scotchy is...indisposed for the evening. Some people just can't hold their chloroform. WHICH MEANS that Ol' Reverend Mayhem is driving the train tonight, and he's all hopped up on the Halloween candy Dr. Mrs. Mayhem bought and tried to stash away. CAN'T HIDE THE REESE'S FROM ME,

Go Home, Fate, You’re Drunk: 2019 Detroit Lions at the Bye

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - October 3, 2019October 3, 2019

[INTERIOR, STAGE WITH CLOSED CURTAIN. From offstage, muffled and slurred shouts are heard, mostly inaudible but include variations on "Not goin' outthere!" and "You an whose army, cock-knocker?"] [Eventually, REVEREND MAYHEM is shoved through the curtain and stumbles into frame, one hand clutching a bottle of brown liquid labeled "JJ Fozz

Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 22, 2019September 22, 2019

358

People come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. From my perspective the challenge becomes how to use their disadvantages against them. I won't lie, I enjoy working these things out. Back in the day I made a few mistakes, got sloppy, had to end things with a gun a

Goddess 3 : Eurotrip – Chapter 8 (Le Dénouement)

ballsofsteelandfury - August 20, 2019August 11, 2019

EXTERIOR, NORTH CAROLINA OUTER BANKS, EMERALD ISLE tWBS has caught a nice wave and is getting ready to move up the face to try a few maneuvers. It's his tenth wave of an epic day in which he has surfed to his heart's content with hardly anyone else in the

Goddess 3 : Eurotrip – Chapter 7

ballsofsteelandfury - August 13, 2019August 4, 2019

INTERIOR, A SHITTY RENTED AUDI HATCHBACK WITH FULL COLLISION COVERAGE, THE A-3, HEADING SOUTH PAST THE FRANKFURT AIRPORT Balls: So, where exactly are we going? tWBS:I don't care anymore. Hippo (looking sideways at Balls): Whaddayasay we hang out in Frankfurt? I've heard good things! Balls (exchanging glances with Hippo): Yeah!

Your 2019 Stillers Preview

WCS - August 12, 2019August 12, 2019

I'm supposed to preview the 2019 Steelers. Let me start with this: This entire division makes less sense than Drumpf's cabinet. People are talking about the Browns to be good? I trust (hashtag The Pauls) to be successful less than I trust Charlie Kelly can read. Our dear friend Redshirt let us

Goddess 3 : Eurotrip – Chapter 6

ballsofsteelandfury - August 6, 2019July 31, 2019

INTERIOR, THE FASTEST CAR IN THE WORLD, A RENTED AUDI HATCHBACK WITH FULL COLLISION COVERAGE, THE A-3, JUST INSIDE GERMANY Hippo: YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAWWWWWWW I AM FOOOOOOKKKINNN CRAAAAAAAZZZZZYYYYYY!!! Balls (in the backseat, crossing myself): ¡¡Jesús, María, José!! tWBS (riding shotgun because he called it a half a second before