This post is more about me and how I feel today than about today’s bad news, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

The news today that Mike Tunison, AKA Christmas Ape, resigned as editor-in-chief of KSK was not wholly unexpected, but it still stings. For me personally, I found KSK at a time and place in my life where I very badly needed to laugh.

I am a failed comedian.   In college, I had but one goal in life: I wanted a standing invitation to the Playboy Mansion. I wanted Hef to say to me, “Lee, anytime you’re in town, the bunnies and I would love to have you.” Not being a person of great wealth or import, I decided that the only talent I had that would allow me to achieve his goal was my ability to make people laugh. And so I tried to do just that. I took classes and performed in bars for nothing. I stayed up way too late hoping to get the opportunity to get just a few minutes, usually leaving disappointed.

After a few years of no money and terrible jobs, I got tired of being poor. Fast-forward a few years, and I’m working as a summer intern at a legal clinic, surfing the web whenever I didn’t have any work to do. That’s where I found Deadspin. Deadspin was like a revelation to me. It combined my two favorite things: sports and humor.

After graduation, I was unemployed for nearly a year. While my wife was at work all day, I spent countless hours surfing the web and delving deeper and deeper into an existential depression. One day, I noticed the hyperlink to KSK in Drew’s bio. I had never heard of KSK or Uproxx, though as a Jets fan, I immediately got the Suzy Kolber reference and laughed like an idiot

To put it bluntly, the work on the site was outstanding. Every day, there was a new article that made my gut bust. I’d laugh so goddamn loud that I’d wake my wife up and get her pissed off at me. What I loved about the site was one of my favorite things about good comedy. Good comedy isn’t about the situation. It’s about the personalities in those situations. And the thing that KSK did better than anybody else was delve into the many varied and wonderful personalities of the NFL, from the fans to the owners and everyone in between.  No one was spared. And even though the takedowns could be brutal, it was all in good fun (Peter King’s bloviations excepted). Whenever something newsworth happened in the NFL, I rushed to KSK to see how Tawmmy from Quinzee or the Sex Cannon, or Rex Ryan would react. And I was rarely disappointed.

And while I loved Deadspin, when I found that I couldn’t even get noticed in the comment section because of their stupid starring system, I got frustrated. KSK’s comment section was a new revelation. Anyone could comment. There was no tier. All you had to do was be funny, and you were accepted. Some of the best jokes I’ve ever written were komments on KSK posts.

When I finally got my first job as a lawyer, I continued to read KSK on a daily basis. And I continued to embarrass myself by laughing out loud like a total goon, confirming my boss’ suspicion that I wasn’t always hard at work. And when I started commenting and getting good reactions, I realize that I’d not only found a kommunity, but that I’d rediscovered something that failure, depression, and being a “grown-up” had conspired to try to bury from me: my comedic voice. And I rediscovered the joy in making others laugh.

I credit KSK with my decision to get back into the comedy scene in New York and for the inspiration to keep it going now that I’m in Boston. I’m not making any money or working for anything that prestigious, but I’m having a fun time making myself and others laugh. And that makes me a little happier. And I thank Ape for that.

So thanks Ape. Thanks for making me laugh. Thanks for putting together this wonderful site that has provided so much enjoyment to me and a bunch of other lunatics. Thanks for being the glue that held the site together for so long. Thanks for doxxing yourself in the greatest IDGAF moment in internet history. Thanks for putting up with stupid flame wars about cookies (I know that you’ve been on the side of Tagalongs the whole time). Thanks for creating a real kommunity, where we are allowed to express our love and hatred of all things football; where we band together against stupid trolls; where we can put aside our petty fandoms (unless it’s Pats fandom, then fuck you) and just do what we love to do: make dick jokes.

Thanks for all the laughs, Ape. I wish you well.