Back at the site where we all met, there was a patron saint and a matron saint and it was pretty obvious as to who they were and why they were.
Here, we have many unofficial matron saints
And no official patron saint although two viable obvious options exist.
Unfortunately, I’m worried they may not be in the league much longer given the crappy team they coach.
So, I think it is high time that we have a third option for Patrón Saint. Someone that embodies the spirit of DFO and all the qualities a true proud Commentist exhibits. Given that criteria, there can only be one.
I give you, for your consideration and approval for DFO Patrón Saint:
This man embodies DFO like no other. He is well-off and has money, like the many lawyers here, but no one knows from where and how he got it. Yet he is happy mixing it up with us little people.
He is a hit with the ladies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUfG8WR7NZk&t=2s
And his philosophies sustain us through the drudgery of daily life
Plus, there is the fact that he’s old and useless like most of us. Us old farts at DFO really are just on here to guide the young folks into a better way to live and enjoy life.
So it is that I present to you my spirit animal and hopefully future DFO Patrón Saint, Ty Webb.
Dissenting opinions are welcome in the comments.
I think my nomination gets bonus points for already being a saint.
http://ciceroschatter.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/st-bernardus-logo.jpg?w=300
http://33.media.tumblr.com/3082957c8de51b9f46f649ee5908bb32/tumblr_n3h9rd4mpW1qa7mg1o1_r1_500.gif
http://24.media.tumblr.com/443debad30c85f7b156dd463281c7e9e/tumblr_miuerz8QII1qf2npto1_500.gif
http://38.media.tumblr.com/12c392a3e93a8b0ea70cca697dfc1709/tumblr_n8275aQyHL1rk0preo1_500.gif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5y0ijmaFo1ryxi9eo1_500.gif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4rlm0oo9e1rx3qjvo1_500.gif
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van; upvote.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6dfkskHnM1rpto9ao1_500.gif
Beerguyrob upvote.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly1uz2n2Ne1qaoq6yo1_500.gif
Sure, if you want to be unrealistic. I think Terry from Caddyshack would fit in around here. The awkward guy who brings the weed to the good looking woman and then gets ditched for the slightly better looking doofy guy. YOU ARE ALL TERRY.
http://www.aveleyman.com/Gallery/ActorsC/82829-2740.jpg
You have a valid point.
This conversation is incomplete without at least including George Carlin.
As someone with no ability to tolerate bullshit, spoke his mind freely, used a lot of various substances and embodies the definition of “high-minded vulgarity,” he will always be my personal patron saint, and deserves consideration here as well.
Being intelligent and thoughtful and compassionate has gotten me exactly fucking nothing and going nowhere. So fuck that and fuck him. I’m going to be a selfish, materialistic cunt.
Which is why you’re a republican.
I am NOW
George Carlin went to the same pet food store as me. Also I’m in Charlotte-Douglas airport, waiting to connect to Baltimore, where I’ll catch the train to Washington. Here’s what they fed me on the plane:
Oh that’s NICE!
Najeh Trenadious Monté Davenport
I am watching the end of Red vs Blue and I absolutely live this quote
https://youtu.be/7DOxqOnSWCE?t=410
Saw the broken link as I sent it. Working one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DOxqOnSWCE&feature=youtu.be&t=410
Last attempt
https://youtu.be/7DOxqOnSWCE?t=410
It’s not often my internet intersects. It’s happened twice now today.
I was just reminded of this and it fits because of the matron saints and the sexy fridays and whatnot.
Herod. Yes he was a patsy. But his children shmildren policy… Mmuah?
I’m against his Barabas-killing policy, but I am for his baby-killing policy.
I think the Barrabas guy was Pontius Pilate, IMHO overrated as a CYA dude, but underrated as a Good Cop.
Yeah, you’re right. But go fuck yourself
I have the useless and irresponsible part down. No money and women, though.
Ed Hochulee? Bluto from Popeye? The Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Goofus from Highlights? Trump?
Can we talk about why Bluto and Popeye were both after Olive? She had absolutely no tits and no ass. What was the attraction?
That never stopped Keira Knightley
Kiera got a cute tush, though.
http://photos1.blogger.com/hello/205/2528/640/keira%20bum.jpg
http://myleather.co.uk/wp-content/themes/shopperpress/thumbs/Keira-Knightley-ladies-Leather-Jackets21.jpg
All I gotta say about Keira is Gottttttttttttttdamn.
But then again I’ve got a thing for sorta lesbian girls.
http://i.imgur.com/pog2cHo.jpg
Agreed; I fucking love Keira: skinny women I can work with… except the starvation skinny ones. Keira keeps in shape and is kinda runner skinny. Plus the accent. She gives me an accent boner. But a lot of guys have a problem with little titties; I am not one of those, big, little, medium, rubbed in my face, what ever.
Have you seen her topless pictures? Those are yummy-ass nipples!
Um, know; I don’t look at stuff like that.
I feel like I’d get impaled on her ass
“I’d love to get impaled by her ass.”
-Rodgers
She has absolutely spectacular facial structure.
That frame made her very flexible
Three words: “Unimaginable Oral Skills”
Definitely not patron saint worthy, but on the 4 year anniversary of this:
I nominate Nacho as the saint of football derp.
The Derp that keeps on Derping.
Lovely.
I’m not sure we can just “choose” a patron saint- he finds us. Hell, right now I’d say Mr. Winkles is the most likely candidate
I was thinking Coach Zimmer but I’m obviously biased.
http://l.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/Ds_hr1XOiKdZL_2CP3BFyQ–/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTMxMA–/http://media.zenfs.com/en/blogs/sptusmlbexperts/zimbear.jpg
Point of parliamentary procedure; Mr. Winkles is more of a spirit animal
Too obvious?
http://i.imgur.com/ui6z640.jpg
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/d/d8/Emperor_Sidious.png/revision/latest?cb=20130620100935
Belichick? Dear god why?
Close, but it’s his younger brother. Always living in the shadow of Grumblelord does terrible things to ones psyche.
I like the choice, the snide remarks and the subtle sarcasm. Plus, he did a great impression of Gerald Ford on SNL.
HOWEVER – I’m not sure he displays the naked, poisonous, almost bottomless quality of hate. Chase doesn’t HATE. He mocks, he jokes, he shits on people, but that missing element bites at my conscience, like a roach nibbling on what’s left behind after PK shovels food into his maul.
Chase doesn’t HATE.
Obviously you’re not familiar with his relationship with Dan Harmon.
I meant as a character. He’s smarmy but not hateful. Maybe I’m wrong. Because god knows, I am wrong every fucking minute that I am in my house.
We don’t need hateful; we have you for that.
You just need to keep up the hard work.
I think we should take a different direction for Patron Saint. Someone, like us, who is young-ish but showed the ability to produce at the highest levels; is clearly into mind-altering substances; has a sick sense of humor; DGAF; hates Roger Goodell; and is willing to walk away from football if the bullshit level is too high:
At some point we’re going to create our Pantheon of gods anyway, so we might as well create a god for every thing we can imagine.
I, for one, think a football version of Bacchus should be a a tailgating Bills fan known as Zubaz.
His son Staphylus.
As opposed to Staphylococcus
This is perfect. I agree wholeheartedly.
First guy that came into my mind. Independent spirit, generous to the point of profligacy, vocal about his beefs, force of nature, not to be messed with…
Hell, I’d take him as my spiritual advisor.
I see someone has overvalued their $12
Marvin the magical, sexual mule!!
/very disappoint no results on YouTube
How about his cousin Gladys?
When Rex gets the can, I hope Fox picks him up as a sideline reporter.
I mean, you want hard hitting questions and not letting coaches avoid confrontation on their way to the locker room at the half…
Plus he could end every coach/halftime interview with, “Now let’s go get a goddamned snack.”
Counterpoint:
http://img.pandawhale.com/114996-john-belushi-bluto-pirate-gif-vqiR.gif
See my comment above, Belushi has the manic, drug loving personality of many DFOers, and he has the black hearted hate that we cherish.
Black hate? But everyone here love JustSt— OH, that kind of black hate. Gotcha.
Monty Capuletti after he inherits the money?
http://rezzankirazburc.com/unlularin-burclari/geraldine-fitzgerald_5.jpg
Anyone who is responsible for such a sign is all right in my book.
I always had a thing for his wife. Maybe the hair, or the great tits.
Are these eligible for DFO canonization?
http://www.countylinepackage.com/sites/www.countylinepackage.com/files/liquor/123_patron_bottles_1169924532.jpg
Based on the amount of bourble referenced, it should be him:
http://liquor.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Pappy-Van-Winkle%E2%80%99s-Family-Reserve-20yr.jpg
I think meeting God face to face is a more attainable goal than DFOers getting their hands on Pappy
DFO is not average and overpriced.
Passionately loves crappy teams. Check.
Keeps weird hours and just shows up whenever he feels like it. Check
Odd jokes about stupid shit. Check
Are many of them making fun of himself/his image? Check
http://media.salon.com/2014/03/bill_murray.jpg
Huge alcoholic? Huge check.
Calls Kelly Lynch’s husband to narrate her sex scenes in Road House? Check.
[counts out 37 cents in change, leaves]
– LeSean McCoy
Yeah, but he is already taken by the douchebro capital of the internet. #KCCO