Spring Sort of Sprung – Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - March 12, 2022March 11, 2022

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Much to my surprise, the assdick MLB ownership cabal finally made a reasonable offer and we'll have el beisbol after all. Hooray, I guess? I mostly ignored it last season, and suspect I will again. Aside from making many, many of my patented #BFIB taeks/jokes. It's also tournament time, making college

Headlong Into the Void! Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - March 5, 2022March 4, 2022

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Is the world still seven kinds of fucked? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT. Good think there's Lesser Footy. Everton overcame the runaway freight train that is Boreham Wood, so the Toffees are in the FA Cup Flacco Eight, and one win away from Wembley. Strange days. But for the Prem, we kick

Six Days Dry as the Sahara – Lesser Footy Open Thread

King Hippo - February 19, 2022February 18, 2022

No, for the love of Christ, I am not off the pills. WHY THE MONKEYFUCK WOULD ANYONE DO THAT?? But man, FITBAW heroine withdrawal is bad enough. Thank fuck for Frank Lampard, amirite?? If you wake up for Hammers/Barcodes, and you aren't Fronk, you get what you deserve - it's behind

The Day Before The Owl 2022 Open Thread

King Hippo - February 12, 2022February 11, 2022

So much excite! Two squadrons that I don't have even a tiny bit of hatred for, playing for the Owl title. What are we to do in the lead-up? WATCH LESSER FOOTY, of course! Because of the 2022 Sticky Icky Stoner Games Winter Olympics, or just out of rampant greed -

Into the Wild Weekend of Nothingness

King Hippo - February 5, 2022February 4, 2022

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Good morning, fellow inmates of the imaginary asylum! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aItpjF5vXc We come back from a week off for the Prem, and there's ONE match. And it's Burnley/Watford (1p, Peacock). BLECH. But lo, we have a shit ton of FA Cup ties. The patented magic started last night, with Boro taking out Men Untied, after

The One Where Hippo Starts Watching Everton Again

King Hippo - January 22, 2022January 22, 2022

Admittedly, the rumours around the managerial search...have not been encouraging. There remains chaos and incompetence in the boardroom. But fuck it, Useless Fuckwit Benitez is gone, and I can watch my beloved Toffees again. Which is timely, given that Everton/Villa are the wakey-bakey Saturday offering (7:30, USA). Slippy G returns to

Afrikan Euros In DFO Lesser Spotlight – Sabado Open Thread

King Hippo - January 15, 2022January 15, 2022

So many fixtures, so many tWBS scorelines. Perhaps his ghost is dancing in the stands with the Senegalese support. First, the distasteful White Devil preliminaries. NBC/USA is paywalling the City/Chelski brekkie match (7:30, Peacock). Kind of a dick move, especially when trying to get viewership used to the new channel and

FA Cup Already? FA Cup Already Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - January 8, 2022January 8, 2022

As I sit thinking up some drivel to write, it came to me that the FA Cup is like British footy's NCAA Tournament. Commentators talk of the magic of the FA Cup - most recently evidenced by Wigan (under future Everton manager Roberto Martinez) winning the whole shebang - in a

Welcome to Lesser Hades – Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - December 11, 2021December 10, 2021

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When one door opens, another door slams into your face. And sometimes breaks your nose in the process. Yes, after the glorious HAIL GAMBLOR outcomes last week (which I have NOT pissed away!), the universe struck back. Everton has become an integral part of my sportsball lunatic identity, and it is

The 2021 Balls’ Bowl Breview! – The First Weekend

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ballsofsteelandfury - December 7, 2021December 6, 2021

I like alliteration, alright? Assonance also. So, the Bowl matchups for what King Hippo affectionately calls JV Footy came out last Sunday and I was perusing them and had some thoughts. Ergo Ipso Factum Testiculum, here we are. There are a grand total of 44 (FORTY FOUR!) bowl games this

JV Shempionship Day! and Other Lesser Matters

King Hippo - December 4, 2021December 4, 2021

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Yes, I will still half-assedly talk of teh futbol. But we have some mouthwatering title matches, with $7,000 in September Prop Bet Possibilities for Hippo. C'mon Team Secular Big Love State and Northern Illinois! Make Hippo feel not-head-in-oven-y for a few days!! Hammers/Chelsea is worth waking up for. And you'll have

Holiday Weekend Becomes Regular Weekend Lesser Footy and JV Stuff

King Hippo - November 27, 2021November 26, 2021

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Anyone else come to the title's realization, and get pre-depressed? Just me, then. And Everton hasn't even lost (again) yet. We start early with Gooners and Barcodes (7:30, NBCSN). One hopes Handsome Mikel takes out some frustrations in this one, as the visitors cosplay as murderous shieks. FUN TIMES! You're going to