TURDSDAY NIGHT FOOT FETISH

Well, here it is. Our favorite greatest coach ever gets his shot as the new(ish) head man of the Buffalo Bills. The Bills visit Met Life Stadium at 4-4 (2-1) against a surprisingly competent Jets team, who is 5-3 (3-1). I’m not sure I’m comfortable with living in a world where the Jets aren’t hilariously DERPy, but it appears that might be the case.

There’s been a bazillion and nine things already written about this, so I won’t really say too much. I think this game could be entertaining and fun. The Jets, behind Fitzpatrick (insert HAHHVAHHD joke here) and Chris Ivory have managed to move the ball well (and score lots of fantasy points for me in Sill’s Insanity League). Their defense is real. Todd Bowles deserves a lot of credit for having this team actually doing things right. The Bills haven’t been necessarily terrific, and when the lose, they fucking lose. That hasn’t stopped Bills fans from continuing to be the most insane fanbase in the NFL. When did this happen, by the way? Every week, Deadspin has another article on Monday, showcasing continued crezzy behavior from Bills fans. Is this something I was just never aware of? Philadelphia fans, Oakland fans, Washington fans? Yeah, we know those people are fucking nuts. But, Buffalo? Okay, sure, I guess?

Anyway, while it should be a fun and entertaining AFC East game-for-who-gets-finish-not-quite-as-far-behind-New-England, it’s still a Thursday night game, so it will be just terrible. It’s what we deserve. At least Buffalo still has pride!

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*Credit to Commentist Entrophy for that magnificent which absolutely deserves more recognition.

Additionally, in the JV footed ball, we have the Battle of the Techs, which is one the most ACC-things possible on the TWWL. The Virginia Tech Castrated Turkeys travel to Atlanta to play the Georgia Tech Yellowjackets. Normally, I love college football night games. Hell, I make time for weekly #MACtion. But, seriously, fuck this game. Fuck Virginia Tech. Fuck Frank Beamer and his weird neck growth. I can’t really say anything about Georgia Tech. They’re a big letdown from last year, I guess? Who cares. The ACC is the AFC South of college football. For some reason, people think they deserve a spot at the big-boy table.

There’s probably hawkey and NBA on somewhere, too.

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We are going to have a record number of commercial breaks aren’t we.

Redshirt

Praise the Heavens! WE HAVE A COMPLETION!

Senor Weaselo

I’d say “I’m too sober for this game,” but everyone is too sober for this game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When my wife gets home and asks why I’m so drunk already, I’m just going to wordlessly point at the TV.

bourb0nblues

yeahhhh … “everyone”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s not hard for me to imagine my phone as JJ Watt, because I have the HTC Humblebrag.

King Hippo

Zach Mettenberger is disappoint.

Sill Bimmons

Are we here or there???

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yes.”

– Brandon Marshall

King Hippo

Commenting on two threads makes it very hard to follow the game.

Mind you, tonight is a feature, not a bug.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We are literally on pace to see 60 punts in this game.

Sill Bimmons

hey guys

Redshirt

I want to say that the Jets and Bills are throwing incomplete passes on purpose in protest of the all green and all red thing, but I know better.

Senor Weaselo

So, 4-2 final?

I hope you guys dislike offense.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Typing away, hard at work on “Hard Ride To Nowhere,” he took but a moment to glance up at the TV…

AAAIIIIEEEEE!!! My eyes! Is it Xmas already???

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Refs are like, “we don’t want this game to last any longer than it absolutely has to.”

blordinaryfagicmox

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Hey, Ryan Quigley with a punt actually having distance!

bourb0nblues

Jetsy start for the Jets.

Gratliff

That was the most Jets possession I’ve ever seen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And that was the most Bills punt return ever.

scotchnaut

It’s like Christmas Song in game form.

blordinaryfagicmox

comment image
Maybe just one open thread next time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Good god, these Bills uniforms make me feel like I’ve gone back in time 30 years and am watching the Patriots. All I need is for them to fumble on six consecutive drives and the illusion will be complete.

Redshirt

Well that pass was a pretty good start to your homage.

Redshirt

Nevermind that’s the New York Limes. I’ll just shut up now.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

This was supposed to be Rashida Jones making out with Zooey Deschanel. Site decided no pic for you though.

King Hippo

FUCK, that really exists?? Never thought anything could rival the coupling of Naomi Watts and Laura Harring.

King Hippo

Naomi and Laura go a little farther.

Senor Weaselo

I just found an Ommegang Brewery horseradish mustard in my fridge. No idea where it came from, but I will enjoy it nonetheless.

Senor Weaselo

Unfortunately no Ommegang beer. Tomorrow’s my drinky drink night though, it’s my birfday.

blordinaryfagicmox

Did NOT start Karlos Williams, pray for me.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Look at this glory boy who only cares about getting on the Jumbotron.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“DON’T CALL ME A GLORY BOY!!!”

– Russell Wilson

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like to think that Norm McDonald took all the money he made from those KFC ads and immediately bet it against the Harlem Globetrotters.

Ahhh…the inspiration for tonight’s uniforms are Christmas M&Ms?

King Hippo

Finally, the tide of the War on Jeebusmas is turning!!!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I turn on the game and the first thing I see is an ad for Corona now being available in cans. How is that good for anyone? First, already worse than beer you can buy a 30 pack for less than a 12 pack of Corona. Second, really, putting that swill in cans now?

Redshirt

Why couldn’t they have done this last week. We could have had fun with Bengals Orange-on-Orange versus Browns Orange-on-Orange.

Redshirt

I just saw the Bills jersey from the blimp view and my eyes started to tear up from either discomfort or sadness.

I’m not your friend, pal.

Spanky Datass
blordinaryfagicmox

(continued from Open Thread 2)
… and then Pitt the Elder turned into Erin Andrews!

Senor Weaselo

LORD PALMERSTON!

blordinaryfagicmox

So a priest a hobo and a pansexual time traveler from the Planet Glorbaxian walk into a bar,
(continued in Open Thread 2)

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I was looking for a sexy Casey Wilson gif, couldn’t find one. This works

comment image

Redshirt

So which thread is the Open Thread? I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.

http://i.imgur.com/oEhVvjZ.gif?noredirect

ballsofsteelandfury

Should we make one thread for girl pics and Moose gifs and the other for game commentary?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jim Tomsula is actually a big fan of the Jets, the franchise reminds him of all those cold nights in Hoboken and the companionship of sharing a bottle of Boone’s around a trash can fire.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In honor of tonight’s matchup, I believe that any sort of restitution for DoubleThreadGate should be measured in units of 600.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I wanted to go with this Lizzy Caplan gif to start off the night but I know I have posted it too much. Going back to it anyways

http://media1.giphy.com/media/DSKxr3MF3DVEk/giphy.gif

Gratliff

Jason Witten rubbernecking is far and away more interesting than Crazy Dez being Crazy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gm8WEMiCHs

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
ballsofsteelandfury

If I get home in time and there is nothing going on, prepare yourselves for a shitton of foot pics.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Yer toeing the line.

Moonbatting Average

That would be callous of you

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

1. You KNOW that’s against site policy.

2. There’s NO WAY that thing is 12″.

Watching highlights of the best Jets QB ever.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/20140415/5017836/flash-jump-o.gif

Gratliff

Oh fuck me. This is the color rush game. Where’s the bleach?

Senor Weaselo

Holy shit, this can’t wait to this week’s DFOnline post. Cloud is DLC in Smash Bros. I repeat. CLOUD IS DLC IN SMASH BROS.

Gratliff

I FUCKING KNOW, RIGHT!? MONADO VS MASTER SWORD VS BUSTER SWORD! /unironic furious masturbation

Senor Weaselo

And Ragnell! And the Falchion!

/Nobody cares about Fire Emblem

Gratliff

I beat the very first one!

Senor Weaselo

I found an emulator of FE7 (the first American one) online, but then it deleted my save and the game is no longer on the site. However, they now have the entire original Spyro trilogy AND the GBA games, which I found out yesterday.

bourb0nblues

Best news of the week, hand down… my pants.

scotchnaut

Uh oh. TWO COMPETING THREADS.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

This only happens when you are the one posting the second one an hour after the first shows up

Senor Weaselo

I’m seein’ double here!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxc7S2EyMGk

Senor Weaselo

And the Ice Giants lead the Ice Rams 2-0, so that’s good.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
King Hippo

Yeah, that ACC game is shit even by ACC standards.

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